Author: unkle lancifer

It's a Horror to Know You: Joanna Wilson of Christmas TV History!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I can easily point to Jaws (1975) and tell you that that movie scared me so bad, decades later I still live with the consequences! I'm horrified of natural stuff in the water. Since I'm a triathlete, I need to regularly swim in lakes to compete and my heart rate maxes out before I even step into the dark water. That movie changed my life. I can't tell myself sharks only live in salt water–my fear is beyond reason. I'm terrified of sea weed, minnows, turtles, and whatever floats. Don't tease me about it because it's not funny.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Communion (1989) I grew up frightened by Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), TV episodes of Project UFO and late night viewings of the TV movie The UFO Incident (1975). So when I finally saw Communion, it just took me over the top. I tried to get over that movie by watching it over and over–it didn't work. Then I read the book but that didn't help. Next, I read all of Whitley Strieber's books–then I had trouble sleeping. Mostly, I've resigned myself to welcoming the aliens when they eventually come for me.

More recently, I saw 2007's No Country for Old Men and Javier Bardem's character–a monster, really–gave me nightmares. Some of my friends have suggested I read the book, and I have responded the same way to all of them: "F*ck YOU!"

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Night of the Hunter (1955)–Robert Mitchum is so macho and hot (I'm thinking 1958's Thunder Road) but here, he's a child stalker hiding behind a minister's collar. His fire and brimstone, anger and self-righteousness really frightens me. I always shout out loud at the two adorable children on screen to keep running! I can't help it.

Elephant Man (1980) I begged my mom to take me to see this at the theater when it came out. I was clearly too young because it haunted me. It was hard for me to bear how much pain and isolation this man endured. Years later, Blue Velvet became my favorite film and I learned David Lynch directed Elephant Man as well. I actually became proud of my earlier psychological trauma.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986) This movie is especially terrifying because it was inspired by an actual person. Actor Michael Rooker was a little too convincing.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Poltergeist (1982) I've seen this movie so many times it shouldn't have any effect on me but it still does. I hate it when I can hear stuff move or fall in another room. Another movie that changes your life.

Pet Semetary (1989) I read the book before I saw the movie so I remember the terror from the book. The movie isn't nearly as scary to me as the book but I'm still entertained by it. Actor Fred Gwynne is the icing on that cake.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 (1991) Yes, you read that right. I've debated this movie's merits at parties so many times, I think I've talked myself into loving it. Mickey Rooney is such a Hollywood institution–he has seen it all. I love him for being in this ridiculous movie.

5. Send us to two places on the Internet!

Made for TV Mayhem — Amanda By Night knows it all when it comes to TV movies.

Awful Library Books — library discards make up at least half of my personal collection.

It's a Horror to Know You: W.S. Smith!

What is the first film that ever scared you?

Beyond the old Universal classics and a small handful of Hammer (and Vincent Price) films, horror was pretty much frowned upon in my house as a kid. Neither of my parents were horror fans. As far as I know, my father went to his grave that way and my mother still is. What really opened my world to horror was late night cable TV. On weekends, I would stay up late, watching reruns of Monty Python or Benny Hill on PBS until my parents were asleep and then switch over to HBO or the like to see what grand displays of fear they were showing. The first movie that ever really scared me deep down was William Friedkin's THE EXORCIST. I saw the full, uncut version of this late one night when I was 9 years old. Nowadays, the idea of possession by the devil (or anything else) seems silly and, although, the movie no longer scares me, it's still a very well made example of the craft. Creepy shots devoid of any warmth or comfort, phenomenal performances by the cast, etc. But, as a small child, it was the most terrifying thing I'd ever encountered.

What is the last film that scared you?

These days, being scared by a film is a rarity. I don't consider the occasional "shock" to be true fear. Lots of movies offer little shocking moments here and there, but they lack the pervasive feeling of dread that horror movies used to provide. Now, when I think of a movie scaring me, I think about the overall feel of the film, not specific instances within it. Most recently, the most uncomfortable I've felt during a movie was Takashi Miike's GOZU. Miike's work has always given me a sense of being "off" whether that's a girl hacking a man's legs off with wire while sticking him with acupuncture needles, a man killing another man by shoving his fist down his throat, or someone being drowned in a kiddie pool full of feces. He's insane. And, it would seem that GOZU, a film about a Yakuza hitman descending into madness after being ordered to kill his best friend, is nothing more than Miike's personal insanity put to film. An incredibly uncomfortable watch that must still be seen!

Name three horror films that you believe are underrated.

1. Tony Maylam's THE BURNING. It's easy to dismiss this film as a knockoff of Friday the 13th and its killer, Cropsy, as a knockoff of Jason Voorhees, but it and he are so much more than that. Despite the fact that Friday the 13th became the world-famous series of films, I think that The Burning is far superior to the first Friday in many ways. Even the lack of Kevin Bacon doesn't hurt the movie in comparisons (joke).

2. Stuart Gordon's FROM BEYOND. As great as The Re-Animator series of movies is, it was From Beyond that cemented Jeffrey Combs as my favorite B-movie actor. His performance is completely tortured and frail in his otherworld-induced madness. Not exactly a faithful adaptation of the H.P. Lovecraft story, but what can you expect when you turn a 3 page story into an hour and a half long movie? And, if we're being honest, the inclusion of Ken Foree in the cast can only help a film, not hurt it.

3. John Carpenter's IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS. Another Lovecraft-inspired story although not based on any of his works directly. Jurgen Prochnow's character of Sutter Kane is exactly what Lovecraft fans would like to think Lovecraft was actually like. Reality, unfortunately, shows us the truth of the situation. Nonetheless, this movie is creepy all the way through and contains one of Sam Neill's best performances of his career. Would it be too bold of me to suggest that In the Mouth of Madness is John Carpenter's second best film after The Thing? I don't think so.

Honorable Mentions:

1. Sergio Martino's TORSO. As much as I love Dario Argento's work, Martino very likely gave us the best representation of "grand guignol" or "giallo" films ever made with Torso.

2. David Cronenberg's THE BROOD. The master of "body horror" shows us his chops with this 1979 masterpiece starring Oliver Reed and Samantha Eggar as a psychologist and his patient whose misplaced rage gives birth to a whole brood of little rage entities.

3. Scott Reynolds' THE UGLY. A New Zealand film about a serial killer turning the tables completely around on his psychologist through a course of interviews. This is a rarely seen gem that I found only because I spent a few months on New Zealand around the time of its release.

4. Pieter Van Hees' LEFT BANK. All I really have to say about Pieter Van Hees is that he is very likely the Belgian answer to Canada for David Cronenberg and if you haven't yet seen Left Bank, you're not doing yourself any favors.

5. Stefan Ruzowitzki's ANATOMIE. Technically, this might be more of a thriller than a horror, but what the hell? A German medical student played by Franka Potenta discloses a frightening conspiracy within her medical school that includes grisly murders and an old secret Nazi society.

6. Frank De Felitta's DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW. So what if it's a made-for-TV movie? This classic, family-friendly scarefest still holds up after all these years. Great performances from a lot of actors whose names you might not know, but their faces will all be familiar.

Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgement.

1. Tom Six's THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE. I can't tell you how much I wanted to hate this movie when I heard about it. But, upon watching it, I discovered that it's much more than just gross. It's sincerely creepy. The performance of Dieter Laser as the insane doctor is over-the-top, but exactly what it needed to be.

2. Chris Angel's WISHMASTER 3: BEYOND THE GATES OF HELL. While this film definitely suffers from the absence of Andrew Divoff as the djinn, it's still thoroughly watchable. We even get a pleasant (and rare) good performance from Jason Connery.

3. Krishna Shah's HARD ROCK ZOMBIES. It's just so ridiculous. I mean, a glam-metal band turned into zombies by an old curse put in place by an in-hiding Hitler who comes out of hiding once his zombies come to be. Seriously? Yeah, seriously.

Send us to five places on the internet.

1. 48 Hour Film Project. The official website for the 48 Hour Film Project; a competition for anyone and everyone who wants to make a 4-7 short film in a weekend. It's stressful but loads of fun.

2. The Richard Dawkins Foundation. The website for the Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason and Science. Enough said.

3. Kickstarter. A great site for people seeking funding for creative endeavors from music to movies to tech.

4.Lucas Faust. A shameless plug for my brother's website (named after my nephew) which showcases his music and art.

5. Movielic.com. A great source for anyone who has the inclination to show movies for free to their community.

It's a Horror to Know You: Spooky Sean of Spooky Bloggery!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

The first film that ever scared me? Hmm. This is going to be tough to answer, as I was always one of those twitchy kids, who was perpetually jumpy. Real life scared me so much, that for many years I actively avoided horror movies. I've got a few, can't remember which came first.

I've had a Traumafession about one of the earliest films I can remember that scared me. Believe it or not The Christmas Toy, a 1986 made for TV movie by Jim Henson. I had a VHS copy of it. I loved the film, but the concept of toys coming to life creeped me out. The Peanut Butter Solution scared me too, which came out in 1985. Now, much like The Christmas Toy, most of the film is not very frightening. However, there is one scene I remember, where the main character is walking into a house, which is what causes him to get scared and lose all his hair. (Just google it, don't have time for a synopsis.) Also, what kid isn't afraid of going bald, haha. Lastly, near the beginning of Flight of the Navigator, when the main character (again, too lazy to imdb this) is transported forward in time and goes to his house and finds a new family there. That terrified me. Imagine it, being like 9 or 10, and you go outside to play, trip and fall, hit your head, and wake up. You go back to your house, and your family is gone, and a new family is there. A new family that yells at you, and calls the cops on you, I might add.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I haven't been scared by a film in a while. Gross out, yes, but scared, not really. I think the last film that scared me was The Innkeepers, but only parts near the middle. I'd say Marble Hornets and good old Slender Man have been scaring me far more than any film I've watched recently. It's so amateurish at times, what with all the text during each short, but you have to hand it to those dudes, they know how to drag something out, and keep it scary. Lake Mungo really creeped me out, but I saw that a year or more ago.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Lake Mungo
The Mist (this borders on being a science fiction film as well)
Stir of Echoes

I'm not sure if Stir of Echoes is underrated, I just don't hear many people talking about it. I can watch Stir of Echoes over and over, and somehow, I never get tired of it. I hear all sorts of people talk shit about The Mist, and I don't get it, I thought it was really great, and the monsters were superb (save for the tentacle). Not many people have heard of Lake Mungo, so that's probably why it's underrated. Honorable mention for The Ninth Gate, but I'd say it's more of a drama/ horror film.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Deep Blue Sea (my hat is like a shark's fin!)
A Serbian Film
The Human Centipede 2

I have a soft spot for excessive nastiness sheerly for its own sake. I have no excuse for Deep Blue Sea. I love shark films, and shark books. Anything to do with monsters in water, I'm there.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

The Horror Digest. I love the layout. Sites with black backgrounds and white font just do it for me. Also, she always gets great screenshots, and keeps me entertained. She funny. And she has a crazy amount of horror films reviewed. I haven't been brave enough to try to read even half the reviews she has posted. She must have a caffeine drip IV or something.

Warning Signs. He's reading through every Stephen King book for the interest of his site. People read his fucking site, that's so many pages this man is reading, all for you!

Can I link to your site, or is that kind of stupid? I mean, they are already here. Eh, why not.

All Things Horror. We reppin' fah Bahston harrah! I may or may not contribute to the site on occasion. Shameless, i know, but I read them even before I wrote for them, so suck it.

PositivelyBLEAK. If you're interested in heavy metal, or fashion, this site will rip your face off, and wear it with a lovely ensemble to match the dripping bloody skin mask. And my name might pop up on here from time to time. Now it's like a guessing game! Why does his name pop up. Read and find out!

It's A Horror To Know You: Jeff Allard of Dinner With Max Jenke!

What is the first film that ever scared you?

I can't remember the exact first film – something random on TV most likely – but I do vividly remember seeing both Food of the Gods (1976) and Empire of the Ants (1977) in the theater within what felt like mere months of each other and being seriously traumatized by each of those early excursions into big screen terror. The laughably chintzy (even by mid-‘70s standards) FX didn't put any kind of dent in the experience for me. Neither film came across as corny or cheap to my eyes. For older horror fans, the ‘70s were about having their minds blown by the likes of Romero or Carpenter or Hooper or Craven but as a kid being unaware of (or not allowed to view) the more seismic genre events happening at the time, Bert I. Gordon became – for awhile, at least – the #1 horror god of my childhood.

What was the last film that scared you?

I'd have to go with I Saw The Devil, even though I don't know if "scared" is the right word to describe my reaction to that movie – it made me feel more disturbed and unsettled than frightened per se. Whatever the case, it was the most all-around impressive horror movie in recent memory for me. On a very different level I also really enjoyed the old-fashioned chills of The Woman in Black. I get the impression that it wasn't so well received by a lot of fans but I thought that for what it intended it hit the mark just fine.

Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Hands down the best killer rat movie ever made is Deadly Eyes (1982). It's the absolute last word in rodent rampages.

For whatever reason, Pete Walker's grim cannibal tale Frightmare (1974) doesn't get mentioned that much but I think it's one of the most upsetting horror movies of the ‘70s – which means it's one of the most upsetting horror movies ever. The big horror heavyweights like Michael Myers, Jason, and Freddy look benign next to the batshit old lady played by Sheila Keith here.

The snarling killer poodle with a pink bow in its hair that's featured on the box art might have understandably caused many horror fans to pass on The Boneyard (1991) over the years, encouraging prospective viewers to assume it to be a goofy waste of time but this is a movie that deserves more notoriety. Writer/director James Cummins (who passed away in 2010) crafted an energetic – and at times emotional – creature feature and I love that he bucked convention by having his female lead not be the usual nubile young thing favored by horror fans but instead be an overweight, middle aged, depressive woman living in squalor (excellently portrayed by Deborah Rose).

Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

I can't say I enjoy any of these movies against my better judgment because I really do like them and don't feel like it's a mistake to do so but I know that they're questionable choices to most fans so here you go:

The Mangler (1995)
Tobe Hooper's latter-day films get trashed by a lot of fans and while I agree that not all of them are winners, I will stubbornly, shamelessly defend The Mangler. What I most love about it is the total conviction that Hooper brings to the material. Most directors, if tasked with making a movie about a possessed laundry presser, would have made it very tongue in cheek but Hooper plays it as seriously as if he were making The Exorcist and I love that. This is a bleak, nasty little movie (with Robert Englund chewing more scenery than he's ever chewed before or since) and it's clear that Hooper was trying to make something special out of the slim source material. So yeah, I dig The Mangler. In fact, I liked it so much that I saw it twice in the theaters and would've probably gone again if it hadn't vanished so quickly.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
The Americanization of the Hellraiser franchise didn't strike many people as an especially great development but I hold an enduring affection for this entry in the series. I think there were so few horror movies released to theaters in the early ‘90s that I tended to greet the ones that did come out with more warmth than they may have deserved. That said I like that director Anthony Hickox went for a popcorn-styled entertainment here, making Hell on Earth bigger, slicker, and more action-orientated. Prior to Hell on Earth, you wouldn't turn to the Hellraiser films to see stuff blow up but Hickox brought it there. It lacks the seriousness of the previous two films but the sight of Pinhead and his newly assembled Cenobite gang boldly striding down a city street, causing destruction and taking on an outmatched police force is just too fun. This may be a disparaged movie in most quarters of fandom but Hell on Earth remains a small slice of Heaven for me.

Brainscan (1994)
I have an irrational soft spot for failed attempts to create new horror franchises (don't get me started on Dr. Giggles or Shocker) and Brainscan is a true hall of famer in that regard. It's hard to imagine anyone with the least bit of sense ever thinking that the madcap ghoul known as The Trickster had the potential to be the next Freddy Krueger but I'm forever grateful that all involved with this film's inception followed through on their every misbegotten impulse because if they hadn't, I wouldn't have Brainscan to enjoy. I only hope that one day Fright Rags will decide to immortalize this movie with a T-shirt.

Send us to five places on the internet.

Arbogast on Film . The mystery man known as Arbogast may have closed shop back in December of last year but the back catalog of five years worth of insightful posts means it's still the most indispensible horror blog out there.

Chuck Norris Ate My Baby. Matt House doesn't update as frequently as he once did – a real epidemic around the blogosphere these days – but it remains a great, good humored blog, well worth checking in on.

Heart In A Jar. Steve Senski doesn't post often but when he does, it's always with a degree of knowledge, literacy and critical insight not commonly found in horror bloggers.

Mr. Peel's Sardine Liquor. Like Arbogast on Film, Mr. Peel's Sardine Liquor is also headed up by a mystery man. Unlike Arbogast, Mr. Peel is thankfully still active, continuing to sharing his thoughts on a wide range of movies. As with Arbogast on Film, every post makes me wish I could write so well. Mr. Peel has a knack for making every review read like a window into his personal thoughts (without being self-indulgent) as well as being an astute analysis of the film in question (without being overly academic).

Radiator Heaven. J.D. Lafrance's blog is one of the most enthusiastic and informed sources of film criticism out there. He covers all genres equally well but has a clear and frequently demonstrated affection for horror, fantasy and sci-fi. And if that doesn't make someone a good egg, I don't know what does.

It's a Horror to Know You: Ross Tipograph of Camp Blood!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

"The Ring" remake was actually the first anything that made me throw my hands in front of my face in sheer resitant terror, along with another 2002 candy, the awful "Darkness Falls" starring Buffy's Emma Caufield. But actually, "Candyman" ruined my youth. That scene where he stalks Virginia Madsen in the parking garage… "Helennn…"

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I'll admit "Insidious" was a hot little slice of surprises that had grown men shrieking in shock, the endings of "The Woman" and "Inside" nearly made me vomit, and "Black Swan," upon second viewing, was less camp and more me questioning my own skin.

3. Name 3 horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Apartment Zero (1988) Combines a bunch of Hitchcock movies into a series of queerly twisted sequences between two great looking men.

The Faculty (1998) Slick, seamless, subversive, and addictive. Killer soundtrack, and Bebe Neuwirth gets wrapped in a volleyball net and shot in the head.

Kairo (Pulse) (2001) The first Japanese horror film where I correctly predicted someone would jump off a high point and die, and I still gasped. Also, the ghosts move crazily!

4. Name 3 horror movies you enjoy against your better judgment.

Lady in a Cage (1964) HELP! Olivia de Havilland is TRAPPED! In a PERSONAL, PRIVATE ELEVATOR!

Wicked (1998) A pre-teen suburban girl wants to boink her dad (seriously) so she kills her mom (yes).

Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000) A kids' horror fave. Caroline Rhea in a Disney Channel Original Movie "Fright Night" rip-off? Sign me up!

Honorable mention: "Troll 2" because of Holly's graceful boombox dance, "Final Destination 3" because tanning booth death is my kryptonite, and "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" …because tanning booth death is my kryptonite.

One more! "Hello MaryLou: Prom Night 2"!

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Blogger Beware: One blogger's hilarious and total exploration of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps books and their wonderfully awful idiosyncrasies.

Gay of the Dead: Sean Abley's Fangoria column showcasing gay movie news and interviews, all around pleasant as punch.

Dark Horizons: My personal go-to site for up-to-date release lists.

The October Country: The Justin Graves-led blog, an intimidatingly knowledgeable forum for all horror multimedia and editorials. He's also great on Facebook, too.

Are You Afraid of the 90s: Shameless self-promo plug. A side project for all things scary and children-y from the Nineties, movies, television, and movies on television included. Please, let yourself hate it!

It's a Horror to Know You: J. M. Cozzoli of Zombos' Closet!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

That would be the original Night of the Living Dead. When I saw it with my mom at the local movie theater, the walk home, at night, was pure terror. I was 12. I'd seen all the classics like Dracula, Frankenstein, King Kong, The Wolf Man, etc, mostly with horror host Zacherley camping it up, but this baby scared the crap out of me. It hit too close to home. My home. I kept imagining being trapped in my house with shambling dead outside. I barricaded my bedroom door at night to sleep and I locked the bathroom door for two weeks after seeing this bloody damn movie.

You have to remember there weren't any ratings back then, so kids like me went in expecting the usual goofy terrors and walked out scared shitless. It was numbing and mind-blowing at the same time. I think that was the night I couldn't sleep so I stayed up in bed reading Famous Monsters issues until dawn. Maybe even then I realized I'd lost that "horror innocence," of supernatural beings equals unreal, so they were "safe." These infected walking dead didn't just kill you, they ate you. Alive. And they didn't stop until they got you. And it was happening TODAY, not in some frilly Gothic period way back when. These monsters were real.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

The last movie to really scare me would be a tough call between Hostel and Hostel 2. I've been scared by movies before and after, to some extent, but the thought of being helpless, fully conscious, and at the mercy of a sadistic person taking enjoyment from peeling you like a grape, or gouging your eyes out like coring a melon, or taking bolt cutters to your fingers and clipping a lot more than your nails is quite intense for me. It's revolting but also emasculating, and for a guy, that's pretty scary.

I believe it was in Hostel 2 that one victim is being carved up like a turkey by some rich nut drinking wine and eating him like human sushi. To be completely helpless while your body is ravaged at whim is very terrifying for me because it's a physical and mental mind-f**k stripping away every bit of humanity until there's nothing left. You want to talk horror, THAT's horror.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Hard calls here, but the ones I'd pick to narrow this down would be The Ruins, Frozen, and May. May is the more sedate one of the bunch. A sad woman, a depressing life, a yearning for love and much more. The movie's a downer; pensive, tediously slow, but the ending makes it all worthwhile, as does the actors and the subject. You feel her pain so much, it's silly, but you want to believe in magic as much as she does.

The Ruins has one of the most gut-wrenching and frightening scenes: a spreading infection leads to the decision to amputate a leg; but the doctor's out and the student's missed a few classes. The guy sitting in front of me in the theater couldn't take it. He jumped up and down at every whack of the dull axe and let out some loud yells of pain himself. I thought he was going to faint. I kept feeling my leg watching this scene, but I didn't faint. Beyond that, The Ruins is a pretty scary story of alienation, desolation, hopelessness, doom, and vegetation that gets under your skin. It's like Cabin Fever, Lovecraft's The Colour Out of Space, and Caltiki rolled together for good effect.

Frozen is downright chilling (hey, cheap pun!) I don't think many people caught this on the big screen, but I will never, ever, ride a ski lift again. I don't like them to begin with (I'm afraid of heights), but this movie is so minimalist–three skiers are trapped for the weekend on a ski lift and it's freezing cold, and a long way down. The cable is razor sharp so climbing it is near impossible. Their clothing is minimal because it was warmer in the day. And it's dark and lonely, except for the wolves below. When one of them decides to drop down (not tooo far, right?), it really will make you think about this movie every time you go skiing. A stunningly effective little gem of building terror and suspense.

Now if you said 4 movies, well I'd mention The Monster of Piedras Blancas, but since you said only 3, I won't mention it.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

4. Just 3 here, too? Well, okay. I suppose I better not fess up to any more or I'd be considered a real rube. Speaking of Caltiki… it's top on my list of guilty pleasures. I saw this when far too young and had nightmares for weeks. Sure, it's the blob, but there's something about this movie–maybe it's the black and white scenes or prehistoric curse kind of stuff–that makes it very effective, even if the story is more Swiss cheese than robust munster when the military shows up. The creature effects are still quite effective, and squishy gooey, too.

The Video Dead is sublimely inane and so evocative of the 1980s. Really, I can't defend this one at all, but it's so damn watchable! Zombies terrorize by stuffing little old ladies in washing machines and turning on the spin cycle; a television set is the portal to another dimension where goofy looking zombies–how they actually crawl their way through the small set beats me–enter to wreak mayhem; to save herself, one woman dances with the zombies because they like music. The acting is cheesy, the story is lame, and the overall effect is ingenuously satisfying.

Trumping The Video Dead for WTF! craziness is Spookies (also 1980s), an incoherent amalgamation of half-baked ideas and nonsensical set-pieces, which include a gloating evil sorcerer with a bad Bela accent, a deserted house by a cemetery, a purple werewolf, a dead bride, and a car load of New Jersey "kids." The car winds up at the house, the kids find a Quija Board–gripped tightly by a corpse, no less–and decide to play anyway. All hell ensues and the purple werewolf spends much time holding doors shut from one side while the kids scream and pound the doors trying to open them from the other side. Practical effects take over as each dumb-ass victim meets a suitable demise via a nasty monster. Nastiest being the fart monsters that spring up from the mud floor in the basement. Yes, read it again, that's what I wrote. This is one movie you root for the monsters because the people are so damn stupid and annoying. This is THE horror movie party movie. Trust me.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

First, you've got to go to the League of Tana Tea Drinkers for the sine qua non of horror bloggers who know their stuff. Then there's the Internet Archive for hours of scintillating discovery to be had on lots of stuff, including horror. (I also get a kick out of using the Wayback Machine to see how my blog looked years ago.) Next I recommend i09, where the genre coverage is always insightful and informative. For recent horror fiction, The Horror Zine is a good bet. Jeani Rector publishes an anthology of stories from her webzine every year (I should have one of my zombie stories in the 2013 anthology, actually), and the contributions from known and unknown authors is impressive. The site's early web design look (long scrolling pages, large font, etc), is too retro, but look past that and you'll find a lot of solid reading. Finally, the AMC Filmsite is a reference gold mine for movie addicts. There's so much here to keep you busy, you better get started now.

It's a Horror to Know You: Dante Tomaselli Writer/Director/Composer of Torture Chamber!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I would have to say Horror Express. I remember being incredibly young, burning up with a fever, and watching it on TV in my parents bedroom and all-out hallucinating. The Jesus-like figure terrified me, especially when his eyes would glow and bleed. A close second would be It Lives Again. I used to have really upsetting and violent nightmares about the baby in that movie. I watch it now and don't feel the same, but at the time….

2. What is the last film that scared you?

The House with Laughing Windows. I saw it about five years ago and it gave me serious nightmares. Evil, bloodstained old women haunt me.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Tourist Trap. It's a perfect horror movie. I'm not sure if it's underrated because true horror fans love it. I vow to direct a terror film with scary mannequins. Frightmare. Dark and creepy British Pete Walker chiller that is all about family sickness. I love actress Sheila Keith. Christie Sanford reminds me of her, actually. This Night I'll Possess Your Corpse. Coffin Joe. This is just the kind of home-grown horror imagery I adore. The shots of our protagonist being sucked into the bowels of hell stand out.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

XTRO. It's low budget and so imaginative and that's good. So bizarre. This movie is out-of-its-mind and I love it for that. I'm not guilty to say it's one of my favorite films. Amityville Horror 2: The Possession. I watch it every couple of weeks. I love its atmosphere and brooding music and how it confronts, um, taboo subjects. It's a very well made film. There's just something wrong about it all, and off-putting, which I like. It doesn't play by the rules. And Rutanya Alda. I became friends with her when I lived in Manhattan years back. Such a nice lady and in so many memorable films like When a Stranger Calls and Mommie Dearest. My third choice…The Hearse. I enjoy Trish Van Devere. She was excellent in The Changeling, a very warm personality. There's something about her that I want to protect. The Hearse is fun and has some eerie, stylish moments, otherwise it's drab and kind of silly. I still love it though. I feel comfortable watching, there's something comforting, kind of like It Lives Again or Prophecy or The Legacy. Movies I seem to watch over and over.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

Mixed Signals. I have synesthesia. Sound-Color.

Double Life: A group for Diehard fans of The Cars. Lifelong CARS fan. Growing up, I was the only fanatic in my school and I was a bit of a misfit for it. Those were the days of hair metal bands, which I never really liked. I was more into Depeche Mode and Jean Michel Jarre.

John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness – Opening Titles. I'm addicted, I can't stop playing the low-toned moody music. Halloween 3 too. I listen to these soundscapes all the time. Kudos to Mr. John Carpenter and Alan Howarth.

DepecheMode.com Depeche Mode. The electronic soundtrack of my youth. As Martin Gore would say, 'Let's have a Black Celebration.'

The Last Drive-In. I grew up going to Drive-Ins in New Jersey. I saw so many horror movies there first, The Omen, Theatre of Blood, The Sentinel….

UNK SEZ: Thanks Dante! It's fascinating to learn which films lead you to become the horror Maestro your are today! Folks, we have a special treat in the form of the brand-spanking new trailer to Dante's upcoming opus Torture Chamber! I'm sensing something dark, disturbing and deliciously kinder-traumatic! Check out the magnificently creepy splendor below!

It's a Horror to Know You: Mike of My Rotting Brain!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

If you want to get technical then I'd have to say Rollercoaster Rabbit, the Roger Rabbit short film that played in front of Dick Tracy. I was four, and it was the first movie my parents ever took me to. I'm told I ran screaming out of the theater about six minutes into the cartoon.

The first movie I really remember being scared of due to being creeped out, not just overwhelmed, was Beetlejuice. I remember having it on VHS and being terrified of the sand worms. I was oddly okay with everything else though.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

Paranormal Activity. Yeah, I'm one of those guys. Seeing it in a theater with an excellent sound system was an experience. I saw it the day it opened, so I really had no idea what to expect going in. It was one of the more unsettling movie experiences I've ever had.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Trick ‘R Treat– It's probably not underrated as much as it is under publicized. It's the ultimate Halloween movie, and should be a yearly tradition for anyone who loves the holiday. It's got so many great horror elements all wrapped up in the mischievous Halloween spirit, I can't recommend it enough.

ClownhouseРIt's got a premise so clich̩d you almost can't believe they actually made it into a movie. Patients escape from an insane asylum, disguise themselves as clowns and terrorize children. It's not gory, nor is it particularly scary, but for anyone who's ever been leery about clowns, it can be the stuff of nightmares. It really comes off more like a long episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? or Amazing Stories than a movie.

Near Dark– The moody older brother of The Lost Boys. I'd say the action scenes are better and Bill Paxton's Severn is every bit as badass as Kiefer Sutherland's David. Plus you've got Lance Hendrickson, so you can't go wrong with that. Its ending might be a tad ridiculous and separate from the popular vampire mythos, but it's still a fun, well shot film. Let's all just be happy they never moved forward with a remake, and oddly, we have Twilight to thank for that.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

The Wicker Man (2006) – I'm not sure "enjoy" is the right word here. I watch due to morbid curiosity and so I can marvel at just how off the rails it went. Then again, it's hard not to enjoy Nicolas Cage wearing a bear suit and punching a woman in the face. It's my personal favorite terrible movie of all time.

Friday the 13th (2009)– People despise this remake, but after years of seeing Jason movies become almost horror comedy, it was nice to see one that tried to recapture the series' original spirit. It doesn't add anything to the franchise, but I don't think it's nearly as bad as people make it out to be. This is Friday the 13th we're talking about, it's never been Shakespeare. Derek Mears plays a great Jason, the kills are fun and it's a monumentally better than Jason Goes to Hell.

CHUD– It's a bad movie, but it's a fun one. How can you not enjoy a movie where homeless people mutated by toxic waste try to eat Daniel Stern? And successfully eat John Goodman, who has a really random cameo. It's set in New York City, while looking absolutely nothing like New York City, which just adds to its charm. You could definitely do worse than CHUD.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

X-entertainment– One of my favorite websites of all time, a premier destination for 80's stuff, horror movies, old commercials and strange food items. It's sadly shutting down after many years, but it has archives full of great stuff.

Dinosaur Dracula– Matt of X-Entertainment's new website. It's still under construction, but I have no doubts that it will fill whatever void XE leaves behind. It's probably the best URL you've read all day.

Bloody Disgusting– My go-to source for horror news. Pretty sure BD has a healthy following, but it still deserves a plug. They've always got excellent giveaways going on, which I'd say is reason enough to visit.

Hey U Guys.co.UK– UK based movie, gaming and technology website, with a great crop of authors.

My Rotting Brain's Are You Afraid of the Dark? Review Index– Alright, shameless self-promotion. Here's my archive of all the Are You Afraid of the Dark? episode's I've reviewed thus far. I figure some of these had to inspire some kindertrauma in readers, so why not go re-live that terror all over again?