Author: unkle lancifer
Traumafession:: Unk on Snuff (1976)
Me and SNUFF aren't friends. I'm going to politely decline the invitation from the trickster in my head that is daring me to watch it again. I suppose that over the years, since the first and only time I saw it, there is a possibility that SNUFF like BLOOD SHACK and TERMINAL ISLAND, transformed from diabolical to adorable but I doubt it. It's not very open-minded of me I guess, but a person has to draw the line somewhere. For those happily not in the know, SNUFF is, if I recall correctly, an inordinately lousy movie with a notorious tacked on ending that pretends to be real way before people were so hung up on things pretending to be real. So I guess that makes SNUFF a trailblazer, a very awful, boring, tasteless and deceitful, trailblazer.
I saw SNUFF back in the early days of video and when I first came across the box, it looked like fine stuff to me. I still do very much enjoy the artwork on the cover and as I recall, it came off hip and modern at the time. SNUFF was actually made back in 1976 and I encountered it on VHS around 1982. That six-year difference doesn't seem like much now but it was to me back then, and the distance between the grainy hippie movie I got and the slick eighties flick I expected was drastic. Just look at the guy with the maniacal face on the cover- he's wearing, for all intents and purposes, an Izod! Izods were big at the time! The 3-D letters being slashed apart, the geyser of blood contrasting with the tightening ropes, the crimson nail polish, the blasting lights, the screaming lady in the background (who I now realize also appears in the artwork for DEMONOID), all conspires to suggest an animated, wild, exuberant time which SNUFF is not.
If there's anything more gratifying in life than renting a pile of tapes and watching them with like-minded people into the wee hours, I still do not know what it is. I was around 14 and I had a friend staying over and we had a pile of rented horror movies. One of them was SNUFF and as it was the most anticipated, it was saved for last. I knew something was afoul as soon as the film began. I tried to stay with it but it was impossible. Nothing was going on and people were just running around in a jungle with no purpose. My head began to wobble and sway and and soon I was asleep. SNUFF had nothing on glorious slumber. Sometime later my friend jostled me awake. I had to see what was happening! We rewound the last moments and watched aghast as an actress was ambushed by a film crew who recorded her murder cinema verite-style and then waved around her entrails. It was gross but not gross enough to keep me from going back to snoozetown. I never at any time wondered if anything in the film actually happened.
Sometime later I was on a bus coming back from the mall reading the latest FANGORIA magazine. In the letters section somebody was complaining about the atrocity of SNUFF and how disgusting it was that it included a real killing. My stomach dropped and I felt nauseous. Had I inadvertently watched a woman being killed? That poor actress! Here I was supporting her victimization with my rental money! Why don't the police arrest the culprits? They should not rent this movie to people! Why, I do believe there's something morally questionable about killing people to make entertainment! I don't like the idea of censorship but perhaps this movie should be banned! I don't know when or how I came back to my senses but I eventually did. No, they do not rent snuff movies at the mall and yes, the police might intervene if they did. The funny thing is, that one angry letter in FANGORIA convinced me of the film's authenticity even after the film itself had failed on every level imaginable to do so. All I needed was an outraged voice and I began to see the same exact phantoms that they did. I sold my own perception to the wind in a heartbeat in exchange for nonsense wrapped in misguided righteousness. So I guess I did learn something from SNUFF, but that doesn't mean I'd ever want to watch it again.
Name That Trauma :: Reader Janet H. on Disco Halloween Paintings
I have a memory of a movie that, I have to admit, I'm not even sure if it is a scary movie or not, because I didn't see the actual movie. But it was striking and has stuck with me. I figured some of your readers who have seen so many horror movies can help me out on this one, if it exists. It was either the beginning or end of the movie, when they show "starring" etc., but I do believe it was the beginning.
Probably an '80s or '90s movie. They showed a close up/ pan of a painting/art work that was rather "folksy" in nature, I remember a lot of haystacks and perhaps Halloween themed houses/children. And then there was the music, I think it was "I'm Your Boogie Man" by Kc and the Sunshine Band. Or maybe some other song by them. Then the movie started and I had to go. The art work creeped me, especially with the disco song with it, I thought what is coming next? I have looked up the obvious Boogie Man movies on YouTube that I could find, but no luck with that. Can anyone end this mystery for me? Was it all a dream brought on by copious amounts of candy, bringing back memories of Fall, Halloween, and my brother's hatred of Disco… Disco Sucks!
— Janet H.
UNK SEZ: Janet, I'm happy to tell you that the fates have sent you to the correct place! I know that movie well, it's a pet fave that I've seen several times. That is the opening credit sequence to THE LAST SUPPER, a black comedy from 1995 about a group of liberals who decide murder might not be so bad provided you select the right victim. I too was very struck by those paintings, I think they're beautiful and unlike your brother, I even like the disco music! Check out the beginning of the YouTube clip below and thanks for the spot on description!
Traumafessions :: Unk on the Demented (1980) VHS Box
My very first video store was called "Hollywood Video" and it was located at the King of Prussia mall. It was a tiny place as home video was still in its infancy. The horror section was about the size of a closet door. I've always been fond of bragging that I watched every horror tape that was available but I realize now that is not true and I have been exaggerating all these years. The truth is that I could never bring myself to watch a film called DEMENTED (1980)!
A major reason for that is because DEMENTED is a rape movie but unlike say, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE it doesn't have nearly the reputation to push me into enduring it. In fact, when I worked at a video store years and years later I bought a used copy of DEMENTED for the place and I still never watched it- even for free. I suppose my main reason for resisting mostly involves the photos on the back, particularly one of the rapists wearing ghoulish masks. There's also a photo of the attack in progress with a couple guys wearing stockings on their heads. There is nothing scarier than a stocking on the head. I'm reminded of both THE BOOGEY MAN (1980) and the SALLY STRUTHERS' TV movie A GUN IN THE HOUSE (1981) both of which freaked me out at around the same time.
Another thing that unnerved me about the box for DEMENTED was the fact that it was pink! There's something twisted about using such a bright color in juncture with something horror related. Who would do such a thing? For a while DEMENTED was available on Netflix Streaming but it seems to have disappeared into the ether once again. Maybe that's for the best. Though I have to say, watching the trailer now makes me think that the movie is probably too amateurish to be taken quite so seriously by me. Has my aversion been unwarranted all these years? I sorta love the synth-y soundtrack! In any case, the box still gives me the creeps.
Leprechaun's Revenge
Happy Saint Patrick's Day kids! Do not go outside tonight the streets will be filled with drunks! Instead, put on something green and stay indoors and watch the SYFY channel! Tonight they are premiering a brand new horror flick inspired by the holiday entitled LEPRECHAUN'S REVENGE! What makes this movie so promising is the fact that the one and only DREW DAYWALT directed it. Drew has directed many a fine horror short including the perennial "The Easter Bunny is Eating My Candy!" and "There's No Such Thing!" which actually happens to be dedicated to Kindertrauma! (You can even read a traumafession from good ol' Drew HERE!)
With DAYWALT pulling the strings, LEPRECHAUN'S REVENGE is sure to be monstrous good fun so make sure you catch it. Go buy some beer and prepare. SYFY is even going to show the first three unrelated WARWICK DAVIS LEPRECHAUN flicks so that you can make a night out of it! Check out the teaser trailer for DREW'S flick below and remember it premiers at nine. Don't miss it! It's sure to sham-rock!
The Unseen Funhouse!
Today's puzzle is all about THE UNSEEN! Click on the above image, jump to the game board and find ten differences between the two images! The reason we're all about THE UNSEEN today is because tonight Kindertrauma is co-sponsoring a showing of this under-seen 1980 classic! If you can get to New York, NY we'd love to see you there! It's at 10:30pm, it's just ten clams and it'll be at 92Y TRIBECA (More info HERE.)
If you can't make it to the movie, here's another way you can support Kindertrauma! This site has been nominated for best blog over at the RONDO HATTON AWARDS and we need your vote! You don't have to fill out the entire form to enter. You can just pick Kindertrauma in the category it's nominated in (HERE)! While we're pimping and promoting anyway, make sure you "like" Kindertrauma on Facebook TOO!
And remember to send in your traumafessions! We want to know what scared you as a kid! Don't worry if the film that rocked your world has been covered here before, we want to hear YOUR story! Don't remember the title? That's what "Name That Trauma" is for! Just between you, me and the lamp post, many of the other blogs nominated for the RONDO rely on mob money, child slave labor and the pulverized bones of nearly extinct animals to operate, but we don't, we rely on wonderful folks like YOU!
Traumafessions :: Chris Moore on Carrie's Prayer Closet
By the time I was 5 or 6, I had already seen Psycho, House of Wax, and House on Haunted Hill (the originals of course!) One night, Psycho was on a double bill with the Brian DePalma classic Carrie on TBS Superstation. My mom decided to let me stay up and watch it, figuring, I guess, if he can make it through Psycho, he can make it through Carrie.
WRONG! I was fine up until Margaret White drags her poor child, Carrie, into the dark prayer closet. What caused me to run out the room screaming was that St. Sebastian statue in there with Carrie. The way its horrified green/yellow-ish eyes looked into your soul, judging you…the candle light flickering…the organ music! It was just too much! I HATED organ music as a child. There was nothing scarier.
UNK SEZ: Thanks for another great traumafession Chris! Folks can check out Chris' previous traumafessions HERE and HERE and remember, you can watch his movie PERVERSION any time you like over HERE!
The Secret of NIMH (1982)
I need to start watching more animation. Movies in general are stellar transportation out of my dilapidated noggin but it seems animated movies have the power to drop me off at a bus stop happily even farther away from my home. Was I just hanging out with a bunch of talking animals? I could get used to that. Inspired by a reader's comment in one of our posts (Thanks Drew Bludd!), I jumped into THE SECRET OF NIMH, a film I caught back in the day on cable that I didn't recall too much about. Now, I think anybody at any age should be able to enjoy SECRET but I don't think I made the best audience at whatever age I encountered it the first time. Back then I was probably thinking animation suited a younger crowd while still being too immature to appreciate the incredible level of artistry present. Currently I'm flattened and floored by the accomplishment that is THE SECRET OF NIMH. What a beautiful thing. Everybody who works in animation out there who keeps the tradition alive, my grateful eyeballs salute you. (You won't catch me disparaging computer animation though on account of HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON alone validates its existence.)
I can't comment on how good an adaptation SECRET is of the book it's based on because I have not read it (yet!) but I can say that if I would drink all the colors in this movie if I could. There may be some flaws in that certain story elements are fuzzier than necessary and things are a bit too conveniently mended by magic in the end but I'm starting to believe that flaws are what keep art from becoming stagnant and dull. SECRET is perhaps dark but it's a beautiful kind of dark and darkness here only serves to brighten the positive light that it frames.
I'm sure some kids could easily get wigged out by the hideous monster spider that appears but without said spider, how could we fully marvel at the bravery of heroine Mrs. Brisby? Brisby is my favorite type of hero. She's not looking for trouble and she's in no way on an ego trip trying to prove her pluck. She simply does what must be done. The dilemma here is that there's a tractor coming that will flatten her house but she can't move her youngest kid because he's sick as a dog; harrowing scene after harrowing scene ensue. I'm telling ya, watching Brisby face an assortment of intimidating obstacles to reach her goal makes for some surprisingly suspenseful fare. If it wasn't for Jonsey, I think Brisby and ALIEN's Lt. Ripley would make great pals.
Another thing that makes Mrs. Brisby a special rodent is the fact that she is voiced by ELIZABETH HARTMAN and it's the last film credit of her career. HARTMAN was nominated for an Oscar for her film debut in A PATCH OF BLUE and at the time, she was the youngest person ever to be nominated. I'm most familiar with her due to her work in that exceptional CLINT EASTWOOD flick THE BEGUILED and for the NIGHT GALLERY episode she appears in called "The Dark Boy." Sadly, mental health issues hounded this great actress and while her popularity declined, she became a recluse and eventually took her own life by jumping out a fifth story window. How's that for depressing? Other folks that lend their voice talents are DOM DeLUISE as a bumbling crow and JOHN CARADINE as threatening but knowledgeable owl. SECRET is also the first film credit for both SHANNEN DOHERTY and WIL WEATON. Yep, it's true that this movie is heavier than the usual kid friendly fare but therein lies its power.
I suppose it's no surprise that I'm all for more challenging, less candy-coated fare for children and it's not because of a secret self-serving plan to harvest more traumafessions in the future, I swear! Fact is, the world can be a rather horrible place and as much as it would be nice to keep children in the dark about that fact as long as possible, allowing them to safely process that idea before it becomes obvious, I believe, buffers the jolt. I'm no parent but I can readily recall what it was like to be a kid and thank God I had the darker side of cinema to let me know that what darkness was in my life was not exclusively attached to me.
The important thing here is not the level of threat that confronts Brisby but the level of courage and determination she exudes while confronting those threats. Maybe that seems like no big deal but considering the fate of the troubled woman who voiced her, it's important to remember that the difference between plowing forward regardless of what ugliness appears and giving up is in fact, gargantuan.
Name That Trauma:: Tom P. on a Canine Spared Fire Safety Film
I am trying to find the title to a fire safety film that was filmed in the late 1960s, and I saw it in 1976. It shows an entire family of four being killed in a house fire, with only the dog surviving.
Do you know the name of this film? I think it is a good film to really drive home the importance of smoke detectors.
Best Regards,
Tom P.
UNK SEZ: Thanks Tom! I could not find your fire safety film myself but I did stumble across this PSA starring the great VINCENT PRICE! I'm surprised we've never gotten a traumafession for this one so I'm posting it here while we search for your NTT!