kindertrauma

Author: unkle lancifer

As Above, So Below (2014)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

As it turns out, it appears that I am a big fan of AS ABOVE, SO BELOW. I'm a little startled by this newfound awareness but maybe I shouldn't be so surprised; it was directed by JOHN ERICK DOWDLE the same guy who delivered above-average horror fare like DEVIL and QUARANTINE. It's just that I assumed that I was basically done with the whole found-footage gimmick and it seemed to have been generally trashed by most critics (its Rotten Tomatoes score is way harsh). I guess it just goes to show you that you have to keep your eyes open and never listen to anyone else when it comes to horror because what scares us is always a very personal thing. In any case, I was very wrong in assuming that AASB was just another cheap also-ran with nothing new to offer. It's actually pretty darn unique in that it works as a rousing adventure flick as much as it works as a claustrophobic, psychological horror tale. There's also something strangely relieving about a found footage flick in which it consistently makes sense that folks keep filming. Plus I think the world needed a good horror movie that takes place in the skeleton infested catacombs underneath Paris; it's such a fascinating location that can't help but bring the dread.

PERDITA WEEKS stars as Scarlett Marlow who means to continue her father's work in tracking down an Indiana Jones-esque alchemy stone that can turn crap into gold and also does the nifty trick of granting eternal life. She's somehow able to corral her ex-boyfriend and a couple of tagalongs in her kooky quest miles below the city. Inspired by the possibility of fame and fortune, this crew is amazingly adept at ignoring blaring red flags and warning signs which include (I believe) flashing subliminal ghosts (?), a cult of possessed females, an impossible piano from the past and a car on fire. Everybody involved seems to have horrible guilt from long-ago events that the evil caves are somehow able to capitalize on (that's what evil caves do). If that weren't enough, there are plenty of traps that can kill you and a wrong move can result in your being crushed under rocks. Things get worse and worse as the group gets further and the only way out appears to be to keep trudging deeper into more and more danger and more and more crazy-making blasts from the past. It's almost as if they are literally traipsing through hell itself and honestly the claustrophobia and phantasmagorical happenings really start to get to me.

When I was a wee lad reading THE AMITYVILE HORROR, I remember the most terrifying part for me was when a hooded figure appeared at the top of the stairs during the climax and (if I'm remembering correctly) pointed a finger at the fleeing Lutz family. I was so disappointed that this scene never made it to either cinematic adaptation because for me, it signified that the shit was hitting the fan and that all debates over the reality of the supernatural threat were over. Essentially it's the moment when the impossible becomes undeniable. AASB has such a scene. It fiendishly takes its kid gloves off and pushes these hooded Knights Templar looking dudes forward and after being so convinced of the reality of the situation, there's something truly alarming about removing any question of the validity of the evil uncontrollable forces (Sorry, I hope that's vague enough to not be a spoiler). AASB is currently on Netflix but I had to get a physical copy for myself in case it ever disappears. This is one truly underrated, almost horrifically poetic movie and I'm looking forward to return to it many times in the future. I also want the poster, the t-shirt and the theme park ride if that is at all possible.

Sunday Streaming:: Ticks (1993)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey! It has come to my attention that TICKS (1993) is available to stream for FREE on TubiTV and Vudu and even Amazon Prime. I don't think I've ever properly reviewed this gooey gem but I know for sure it was mentioned in my salute to AMI DOLENZ way back HERE. In retrospect, several fine horror flicks were released in the early nineties but I remember being in the middle of a dry spell of dud rentals when I was so pleasantly surprised by this throwback creature feature back in the day. TICKS has everything: a summer campground setting, young folks looking for trouble, lunatic locals, grotesque creatures and fountains of spewing slime. Let me tell you, I'm not an easy person to gross out but something about the awesomely disgusting special effects in this flick gets me flinching. I would hug a spider, kiss a snake and marry a bat but I'm not down with ticks. They gross.

And how can anyone resist the greatest (and possibly shortest) cast ever assembled? Besides the aforementioned adorable DOLENZ, you get SETH GREEN, PETER SCOLARI, ALFONSO RIBEIRO and the legendary CLINT HOWARD (pop RANCE HOWARD is even the sheriff)! Frequent horror helmsman TONY RANDAL (HELLRAISER 2:HELLBOUND, CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT, AMITYVILLE 1992: IT'S ABOUT TIME) keeps things moving at a skittering pace and over the top climax is like a low budget salute to THE BLOB or THE THING. I suppose the title alone is enough to keep some folks from singing this movie's praises as loud as it deserves but it's so much more than your standard one-note killer insect flick. I think it's surprisingly thoughtful (most of the young characters are battling personal demons), well-acted (considering the outlandish situation), keenly directed (it never fails to make me squirm) and overall great fun (did you know mutant tick bites cause hallucinations?) If you haven't seen it before, do yourself a favor and give it a chance. Trust me, once it gets under your skin, it doesn't let go.

Blu-ray Review:: The Prey (1984)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Woodsy slasher flick THE PREY is finally on Blu-ray! I once caught this slippery fish on YouTube and reviewed it way back HERE. The gist of my take was that THE PREY is unquestionably lackadaisical in spots (it's famous for an over-reliance on nature footage) but kind of charming and adorable anyway and I'd certainly give it another shot when a superior release was available. Well, I have to say, Arrow's new release is all kinds of superior and THE PREY cleans up real good. Having only seen a hazy, washed-out, zillionth generation version before, my peepers were more than pleased to take in some bright rich colors. Sadly I have no means to screen-grab images from my Blu-ray player but check it out; the picture is so vibrant that I was able to directly take photos off the TV with my ancient phone! Picture quality can't save all of THE PREY's quirky issues but it certainly does help.

I know THE PREY isn't up there with the higher lords of campfire terror like FRIDAY THE 13th and THE BURNING. It's not even up there with middle level also-rans like THE FINAL TERROR. It's more stuck in the trying–to-keep-up zone of THE FOREST and DON'T GO IN THE WOODS and that's fine. In my opinion, all eighties-era wood-set slasher movies have value. I might even say that out of the many underachievers, THE PREY is the most fetching to me. Sure it tries your patience on many occasions but it's not mean-spirited (if you skip over the implications of the dour denouement), it's got a healthy respect for mother nature (it features more critters than a TALK TALK music video) and I'm basically going to love any movie with a park ranger who plays banjo and tells jokes to fawns (and if these scenes are improvised padding, I'm all for it).

Arrow Video's snazzy new package includes three (!) versions of the movie; there's the zippy (80 minutes that feel like 100) jam we all know and love, a European cut that includes a back story involving gypsies, and finally a go-for-broke integrated combination of the two. Now in most cases, you'd want to gravitate to the version that serves up the most meat but I wouldn't say so here. Turns out the gypsy backstory version does not consist of scenes edited out for time that were part of the original vision but scenes directed by a gun-for-hire that were added in by a producer who thought the movie needed more boobs. It's not so much a lost, Holy Grail complete version, as it is a bastardized alteration that the director didn't approve of. I'm still grateful to have all three (the more the merrier) but I think I'll be sticking with the O.G. for future watches.

Perhaps the greatest attribute of this release is that it sports a commentary from our old pal Amanda Reyes of MADE FOR TV MAYHEM fame (if you haven't gotten her book ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE? yet, I suggest buying as many copies as financially feasible because they make great Christmas gifts and the holidays are just around the corner!). Let me tell ya, I have experienced the joy of watching a movie with Amanda firsthand on several occasions and it's always an unmitigated treat. I can't think of anyone who is as knowledgeable and entertaining at the same time. Here's she's joined by fellow THE PREY super-fan Ewan Cant and their rallying adoration for the flick is infectious. You'll also find some informative interviews with cast members and crew, a return visit to some of the locations and a slew of never-seen-before outtakes.

Since my first viewing, I took THE PREY to be sort of a lovable underdog but this package has kindled new respect in the movie for me. Even though it will forever suffer from amateurish editing and dubbing issues, it has a genial heart that many of its better-made cohorts lack. It's really too bad this early to the gate (filming started in 1979!) slasher got tangled in distribution woes and didn't hit the track until interest in what it offered was beginning to wane (1983). I'm guessing it's more influential than its given credit for as WRONG TURN (2003) features a scene that seems lifted straight from it (although the concept of a deranged mutant cutting a climber's rope so that they fall to their death was surely a cinematic inevitability). In any case, THE PREY will always be the one and only movie to feature my childhood heroes Shazam! (JACKSON BOSTWICK) and Uncle Fester (JACKIE COOGAN, in his last film) discussing the merits of cucumber sandwiches and for that alone, I must stand and give it some long-deserved applause.

Sunday Streaming:: Creature (1985)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey! My favorite hokey ALIEN rip-off CREATURE (earlier tribute HERE) is hanging out on TubiTV (apologies to all our faithful readers who don't get TubiTV in their area) and can be seen for free HERE! It looks super spectacular all widescreen and digitally re-mastered and it's even wearing its original title THE TITAN FIND. How am I supposed to leave the house today? The soundtrack is enticing me from my little computer speaker as we speak! Wow, Lyman Ward appeared in both CREATURE and NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE back in 1985 and still found time to show up on DALLAS and NIGHT COURT! And how I dig that Joe Dante fave Wendy (THE BURBS, SMALL SOLDIERS) Schaal is shown reading a novelization of director William Malone's previous film SCARED TO DEATH (1980) and it claims to be a "#1 Bestseller"!  Aw, I love this flick forever.

Traumafession:: Dave D. on a Bravestarr Drug Death

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I was born in 1977 which means the heyday of my youth was spent watching cartoons like Transformers, G.I. Joe, and He-Man. But there was another cartoon, one oft overlooked by children of my era: Bravestarr.

Bravestarr was produced by Filmation; the same company responsible for He-Man, She-Ra, Shazam, and The Ghostbusters (the one with the gorilla). And the premise, I thought, was pretty awesome: The Planet of 'New Texas' has been colonized to mine a type of fuel called 'red ore' and very quickly lawlessness spreads to this new space frontier. Enter Marshal Bravestarr who can channel the powers of four animals, hawk, wolf, puma, and bear, to perform superhuman feats. 

So, cool location, space western, super-powered lawman, what's not to love? I'll tell you what's not to love, the episode called 'The Price' where a drug called Spin is putting people in the hospital or, in one little boy's case, the morgue. That's right. A child gets addicted to this space drug. Steals some red ore, and sneaks off to his 'club house' where his lifeless body is found the next morning.

I was 10 at the time and was not prepared for how I felt watching a cartoon mother sob uncontrollably or watching this dead boy's brother faint upon finding the body. There was no happy ending for this episode. Sure, the Spin factory was destroyed, but not before the horrors of drugs took a little boys life. But beyond the actual death, watching a child in the grip of drug addiction was pretty disturbing as well: slurred speech, vacant stares, limbs akimbo, it painted a pretty grim picture.

Here's the episode in all it's glory if you want to CHECK IT OUT.
 
Thanks for keeping it real, real traumatic!

Dave D.

The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I was at the library the other day and I saw they had The Strangers: Prey at Night and good lord, I borrowed it again! What is going on with me? Why do I like this movie? It makes little sense because I'm not much of a fan of the first movie, I'm not impressed with the stale masks at all and I find the title itself sorta annoying. And yet, for some reason, I couldn't wait to pop it back into my DVD player and watch it late at night as the world slept with the company of cats and cheap beer. I don't even think I like the characters in this movie. They're very frustrating. The father (Martin Henderson) fails his entire family by suggesting they split up, the mother (Christina Hendricks) lamely allows herself to be stabbed by someone half her size, the brother (Lewis Pullman) never demands that they all leave immediately after discovering their hosts have been murdered and I'm going to need a little more than a RAMONES T-shirt to convince me that the daughter (Bailee Madison) is a rebellious malcontent. This movie is begging me to dislike it but try as I might it looks like I can't.

This is how we all find out what a shallow human being I am. There are two, count-em' two elements that make this movie impossible to resist for me. First off, on a visual level, it looks fantastic. It takes place in the excellent location of a trailer park at night and a spookily lit fog cloaks all of the surroundings and it comes off like a half-remembered bad dream. Everything looks muddled and vague but then there are these blasts of super sharp neon as well. All the interiors are dunked in sleazy seventies brown and gold complete with burlap couches and wood paneling like that once hip Fiona Apple video "Criminal." I'm such a sucker for that faux-sleaze aesthetic, I know it's basic and mid-nineties of me to fall for such a thing and yet I do. It just works so well as an environment for horror and evil shenanigans. In addition, the fact that the abandoned grounds are empty gives off an alienating, end of the world vibe. It kind of reminds me of playing kick-the-can after dark when I was young and feeling like I could be engulfed by darkness at any minute. It also calls to mind how the dark, twisty labyrinth-like alleys and backyards of Haddonfield were so well utilized in the opening of HALLOWEEN II (1982).  

Speaking of CARPENTER-esque tonal touches, the score and soundtrack are my other soft spot. The repetitive theme by Adrian Johnston is either homage or a blatant rip-off of THE FOG's and apparently my spine is going to tingle to it either way. I also adore director Johannes Roberts (47 METERS DOWN) ace idea to exploit some cold-ass synth-y new wave songs to embellish the kills. It's almost as if the songs report on the atrocities like indifferent bystanders and it somehow accentuates the idea that the universe doesn't care who lives or dies. Taking advantage of Kim Wilde's "Cambodia" is a truly inspired, off the main road choice that I can't help aplauding. What's really surprising though, is how well low-hanging pop tuneage like Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and Air Supply's  "Making Love Out of Nothing at All" work (when paired with a brutal murder). Both songs were written by Jim Steinman and are known for their over the top theatrics but I'd assume they'd be too familiar and obvious to register much of an impact and apparently, I'd be super wrong. I have to say, this flick's fluorescent pool confrontation is a symphony of exquisite horror-beauty that you don't find many places outside's Michele Soavi's STAGE FRIGHT (1987) or maybe the signature stalk n' skate set-piece from CURTAINS (1982).

I guess STRANGERS: PAN simply fulfills a nostalgic need for me; it reminds me of when I used to be able to watch a movie for payoff alone and with my critical mind fully gagged. The story is thinner than cellophane, the characters are not exceptionally interesting (I'll root for them anyway just because they're humans not looking for trouble) but there's something about the freedom and danger of the night itself that it conveys that I find thrilling. As elementary as it all is, I'm kind of impressed that no kill is a throw-away and that each feels potently, almost romantically, fatalistic and tragic. And maybe the movie is a little deeper than I give it credit for; there's something to be said about how the main character's escalating fortitude coincides with the realization of how much she really does value her parents and sibling. And I think because the victims are a family unit rather than a gaggle of random teens, there's something extra poignant about watching them die (see also THE HILLS HAVE EYES and LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT). I dunno. I guess I just wanted to admit I'm a fan. This won't be the first time I had a soft spot for a maligned sequel and it certainly won't ne the last. I guess when it comes to slash-happy horror movies, I'm an old pro at making love out of nothing at all.