If any of you fine folks follow the Kindertrauma fan page on Facebook or have friended my Unkle Lancifer profile, you may have noticed that they both recently up and disappeared. What happened was, Facebook had an issue with Unkle Lancifer not being my â€œrealâ€ name and as the Kindertrauma page was set up by that account, it was assassinated too. Both, by the way, were created before such a rule existed. If you rely on Facebook to alert you to new Kindertrauma posts, Iâ€™m sorry, that wonâ€™t be happening anymore. So far, from what I can see our readership has not taken a major dive since this occurred and itâ€™s pretty obvious Facebook was only showing the updates to a fraction of our followers anyway in some lame attempt to get us to pay for them to â€œboostâ€ their visibility. Frankly, on more than a few occasions, I wondered if posting flyers on telephone poles would be more effective.
I have tried everything to fix the situation and itâ€™s basically like having brunch with the monolith from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY. Iâ€™ve sent them I.D., as requested, and explained that â€œUnkle Lanciferâ€ is a nick name/alias/pen name all to no avail. All I have received in return are automated emails designed to look like they are from a human when clearly they are not (and Iâ€™m the phony?) They refuse to even acknowledge my grievance until I present them with ID that says â€œUnkle Lanciferâ€ and of course, nothing like that exists. Their only excuse for that random Draconian practice is, â€œWe take your online security seriouslyâ€™â€™ which is funny coming from the people who badger me for days about items that I happened to glance at on Ebay or Amazon earlier in the week. Robot-cookie-dudes, I looked up that DEATH SPA DVD merely to see if it existed, not because I wanted it (well, maybe I do want it but thatâ€™s not the point- nor is it FBâ€™s business).
This steamroller of a policy has already gotten Facebook on many a drag queenâ€™s shit list and itâ€™s not hard to see why (more HERE). There are a myriad of reasons why a person may want to use a name other than the one they were born with and many of them far outweigh, in legitimacy, whatever this spurious policy is allegedly trying to accomplish.
My incentive, I admit, was not fueled by a necessity, as I just wanted to present a horror host type persona aâ€™la DR. SHOCK or ELVIRA. There was absolutely nothing conniving or deceitful about that action so itâ€™s weird that Facebook provides more wiggle room for hate groups than it does a nostalgic movie site designed to provide entertainment (for free I might add). Even if Facebook does come to provide an actual solution (rather than an empty apology) to the drag community, thereâ€™s no way to be certain that it will revive my Facebook account (which is ironic considering Iâ€™ve often been mistaken for â€œRichieâ€ JANE MARCHâ€™s male persona in COLOR OF NIGHT (1994). Ooopsâ€¦spoiler alert).
Furthermore, I donâ€™t know how many hoops I even want to jump through for this Facebook thing. In a rare instance of my taste not coinciding with that of the average shut-in, Iâ€™ve never been much of a fan. Some think of it as a necessary evil but Iâ€™ve come to call it by its real name â€œThe Ego Pit of Flaming Insecurities.â€ On the plus side, it does showcase some of the most adorable animals in the world but on the minus side, nothing has been responsible for lessening my view of humanity more. I mean itâ€™s basically VIDEODROME. Right? How is it not exactly, precisely and literally (give it a rest, word police) VIDEODROME?
Maybe thatâ€™s a little harsh. I know some people who get a lot of positive use from it. Itâ€™s just never been a comfortable fit for me. I guess Iâ€™ve always had some weird instinctive aversion to hive chatter and anything that operates like a mind control parasite invasion from outer space.
I donâ€™t know. Does Kindertrauma even need Facebook? We existed before without it and I feel like those were the salad days. I know theoretically you are supposed to desire the largest following possible but Iâ€™m more than fine with the clubhouse vibe going on here. The few times a post of ours has been picked up by a larger horror site on Facebook and I have gotten to see the types of comments a more popular joint attracts all I can think is, â€œThank God I donâ€™t have to digest that type of nonsense regularly.â€
Anyway, Iâ€™m leaving it up to you readers. If you enjoy the convenience of being alerted to our updates via Facebook, Iâ€™ll just open a new account under my â€œrealâ€ name and we can have it there for that purpose alone. Sure, itâ€™ll sting to start over at zero friends but I canâ€™t pretend Iâ€™ve never experienced that wonderful sensation before. Let me know. I can go either way. I quit smoking 7 months ago (!) after 25 plus years and if I can quit that, I can drop Facebook quicker than a Christmas tree in January.
Plus the idea of never having to rate the worth of our output again by how many folks deign to â€œlikeâ€ it in the Thunderdome kind of thrills me. Not that discovering that Facebook had left my cake out in the rain didnâ€™t hurt, it did. We lost a ton. There was a lot of original content (that Iâ€™m praying we backed up) and all of the great comments we got from our readers over the years are now gone (Not to play favorites, but I took a screenshot of Nancy Allenâ€™s comment, so thatâ€™s safe).
What kills me the most though is that in the early days we posted so many pictures of the stray kittens we adopted (as duplicitous fiends do) and although weâ€™re sure to have saved them elsewhere, Iâ€™ll miss having them in the timeline order they occurred. I even went through all the five stages of grief: DENIAL (itâ€™s a mistake); ANGER (cue MADELINE KAHN flaming head CLUE (1985) gif!); BARGAINING (You can throw out the account that I use to connect with my family if I can have KTâ€™s back!); DEPRESSION (I own every album by THE CURE and Iâ€™m not afraid to use them); and finally ACCEPTANCE (Weâ€™ll live and hey, donâ€™t they let you post pictures on Twitter these days?).
Iâ€™ll keep you guys posted and in the meantime here is our TWITTER that you can follow for updates. I realize thatâ€™s probably just another head sprouting from the same dragon but at least when it breathes fire on you, it does it in 140 puffs or less and doesnâ€™t try to charge you for the privilege.
Most importantly weâ€™re HERE, as in here at Kindertrauma.com. This is our home and these are our pink walls and around these parts my name is Unkle Lancifer and my husband goes by Aunt John. If thatâ€™s a problem you know where the door is (itâ€™s that pointy â€œbackâ€ button at the top left corner). Everybody else; â€œnuestra casa es su casa.â€ If you want to talk scary movies or creepy stuff on TV or anything that freaked you out as a kid and made you the horror fan you are today– weâ€™ve got you covered. I guarantee youâ€™ll see stuff here you wonâ€™t see anywhere else. Weâ€™ll keep coming back as long as you guys keep coming back and maybe, probably, even longer. Honestly Iâ€™ve always pegged Facebook being to blogs as the freeway was to the Bates Motel, so donâ€™t be surprised if this place only gets more interesting.