When I was little I used to watch those ERNEST movies and sometimes he would dress up as an old lady and this scared the crap out of me ever time that she came on screen I would shut my eyes. JIM VARNEY was suppose to make you laugh not cry.
Hey, Unk…
After reading several Traumafessions from the 1990s recently, I figured I'd send in one from the late '70s just to help balance things out a bit. It also doubles as a personal Name That Trauma that was finally solved a few years ago.
As an easily-scared kid who watched a lot of movies on T.V., one absolutely terrifying movie (did I mention that I was an easily-scared kid in the late '70s?) stuck with me for years. I only caught the last third of it or so, and it included a bunch of teens trapped in the woods by a demonic force, talismans made out of twigs, and an almost surrealistic, shambling monster. The lone survivor gets to the car and manages to escape, only to have the steering wheel mysteriously spun out of control, causing the car to crash.
When I saw THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT much later, images from this earlier film came leaping back into my memory, but nobody I described it to had any idea what I was talking about. In the days before the mighty Kindertrauma, the internet was of no help at all in identifying it.
You've probably already guessed which movie this was, and I finally discovered the answer after Criterion released a special DVD of…yep…EQUINOX!
Kind of embarrassing to realize EQUINOX scared the bejeebus out of me back then, but such is the stuff Kindertraumas are made of. It might, however, be the reason I always felt WKRP's Herb Tarlek to be something of a tragic figure.
— Binrow the Heretic
Being a child of the ‘70s and ‘80s I was raised on T.V., so plopping down in front of the tube for hours on end was nothing out of the ordinary for me. One afternoon I noticed there was a rerun of a scary movie called NIGHT GALLERY scheduled in the T.V. Guide. This was the original pilot movie, featuring one of the last performances by JOAN CRAWFORD and STEVEN SPIELBERG's directorial debut. From the get-go I knew it was possibly going to be a bit much for my seven-year-old eyes to take; the opening music, ROD SERLING's creepy voice, the paintings. But I was intrigued so I continued to watch it.
All three vignettes were outstanding but one in particular creeped me out and stuck with me through adulthood. It was entitled "The Cemetery" and featured RODDY McDOWALL as a scheming, lying, all-around loser of a nephew wanting his uncle's fortune all to himself. RODDY ends up speeding his uncle's death and ensures that he is the sole heir to the fortune, while the faithful butler (played by OSSIE DAVIS) is retained for a measly amount of cash. While enjoying his new wealth, RODDY realizes that one of the paintings on the wall of the entry hall has changed – the painting of the cemetery adjacent to the mansion. A new grave appears on the ground, which of course befuddles poor RODDY, but he proceeds to bask in his new wealth while continuing his asshole-ish ways.
But RODDY continues to see the painting change: The grave now appears disturbed, then a coffin is seen sticking out of it, then the coffin lid opens to reveal his uncle. This goes on for a while, driving poor RODDY to the brink of insanity, until he sees that the painting now shows his uncle approaching the front porch, then he's on the steps, then he's at the door. Suddenly, he hears someone -or something- knocking on the front door, wanting in.
In his freakoutedness he runs to the top of the stairs and pulls down another painting of his uncle, tripping and killing himself on the stairs. The front door finally opens, and standing there is… OSSIE DAVIS. He was responsible for the paintings changing and for driving RODDY insane. Turns out the estate would be left to him should there be no surviving heirs, and since RODDY is now worm food, it turns out to be a pretty sweet deal for OSSIE, who goes from respectable, clean-cut working man to swarthy, debonair nouveau riche HUGH HEFNER-ish cat.
However, before he can sit back and finish his brandy OSSIE notices the painting on the wall has returned. But this time it changes right before his eyes, and it's RODDY heading for revenge, not the uncle. A new grave, a coffin, RODDY's corpse, at the steps, at the door… By this time I'm nearly peeing my pants and preparing to run out of the room, just in case. As OSSIE is left screaming we see the front door open slowly to reveal… no one. The ghost of RODDY gets his revenge!
I love NIGHT GALLERY and found myself watching it often after that. All three stories in the pilot movie are quite good and worth a look, especially the one titled "The Escape Route," which deserves its own confession. After having settled down from the scare, I found myself often checking paintings throughout the house to be sure they weren't changing. But the effect this gem had on my psyche still holds solid to this day, and for that I thank Mr. SERLING. The NIGHT GALLERY pilot show is definitely worth a visit…
— David
As an adult, I almost cannot believe this episode went the way I remember it. I had convinced myself the doll thing never happened along with some of the other items that moved. I was really afraid after this – especially since it aired right before Halloween the year I was turning 12! I was scared the whole year this would happen to me as 13 approached!
What an odd move for a normally benign show!
— Still Scared of Dolls
UNK SEZ: SSOD, I could not agree with you more! That episode freaked me out as well. How could something like this happen on Walton's Mountain and how did Elizabeth ever get over it? This episode effected me so much that it is actually the subject of the very first Kindertrauma post HERE! Thanks for the great traumafession and know that you are not alone in your ongoing suspicion of Raggedy Ann!
Hi all. Love the site. I have one traumafession I would like to share. It's a ghoulish P.S.A. with haunting imagery that has stuck with me for years.
I was watching Entertainment Tonight when it came on, back in '87. It takes place in a giant bowling alley where human bowling pins are lowered down. Then a eerie, macabre-looking Father Death grips a giant bowling ball, and knocks them all down!
Only one "pin" is left standing: a terrified mother holding a little girl in her arms. So Death flings another ball to pick up the spare.
Meanwhile a voiceover is prophesizing certain doom: "It could kill more Australians than WORLD WAR II!!!"
Luckily I was in my teens at the time, so I wasn't too scared. But I remember thinking, "Wow, this is pretty grim stuff!" For the chilling final shot, the camera pulls back revealing dozens of Grim Reapers hurling bowling balls, with lanes stretching out to infinity.
I think it was pulled shortly after broadcast. But here is the clip…
Keep up the good work guys!
— Barry
UNK SEZ: Thanks for the grim traumafession Barry! You've got a partner in misery with reader Rexx who joins you in your anguish over HERE!
When I was very young, I found this gory war comic at my grandparents' house. I couldn't read all the words, but did get the gist: A group of soldiers locked in combat with the Japanese (in retrospect they were actually VC). The buck-toothed, rat-faced enemy guns down our heroes. In an odd departure for a combat story, the saga continues as their souls rise up to God for their final judgment.
Two panels especially frightened my young self: A picture of two soldiers' bullet-riddled corpses and a image of a soldier cradling the head of his dead companion. He was positioned in such a way that it looked like the head wasn't attached to anything.
Years later, in college, I came across the same comic. Guess what? It wasn't a comic, but a damn Jack Chick religious tract! Some might say it was even more disturbing in that light. You can read the whole thing HERE!
I am the youngest of four kids. My oldest brother is about 8 years older than me and I admired him greatly growing up. I was fascinated by everything he was fascinated by, I listened to the music he listened to, and watched the movies he watched. All I wanted to do was be him. He was always into horror movies and horror stories so I was surrounded as a kid.
This brings me to two major traumafessions. The first is in regard to the horror classic HALLOWEEN. It was my brother's favorite horror movie and Michael Myers was a major horror icon to him. He dressed up as Michael during spirit week in high school one year and actually scared a girl so much that she ran out of the classroom. Of course this led to me seeing HALLOWEEN at the age of five. This movie is traumatizing to people in their 40's and here was five year old me seeing Michael Myers stalk babysitters. It's not that I was a babysitter, I was still a kid being babysat which was much worse. For the longest time after seeing it I couldn't even hear the music without crying. I was convinced that Michael Myers was out to get me. I truly love Halloween and respect it as a movie fan but even now, as an adult, my only nightmares have Michael Myers in them.
The second traumafession actually comes from a book my brother frequently read when he was a teenager. It was a book called "The New England Ghost Files" that he borrowed from my grandfather. I was probably around seven years old when this occurred so I was a little older, a little wiser. Didn't make this book any less traumatizing for me. It's not that the stories scared me, I never read any of them. The cover of the book is what got me. It was an illustration of a ghost above a door and the ghost had these glowing red eyes. Every time I went in his room for something I would see the book and turn it over so those red eyes weren't staring at me. Seeing the cover now brings back all those feelings I had as a kid. I hope to find the book soon so I can actually read it but maybe it'd be better if I didn't.
I realize that a lot of my traumafessions stem from my brother but we're actually still incredibly close amazingly enough.
For as long as I can remember up until I was about thirteen years old, I had a recurring nightmare. I was being chased through a grove of trees on a stormy night by a man in a trenchcoat whose face I couldn't see. I ran through the trees to about the halfway point when suddenly, the man appeared in front of me at the other end of the grove! I decided to just run at him as fast as I could and tackle him. If I could knock him down, I could escape. So I started booking it towards this guy… when something dropped out of the trees onto my neck. This thing immediately began eating its way through my flesh and into my spinal cord. I tried to scream but couldn't. All I could do was sink to my knees while this horrible whatever it was ate its way into my spine.
Every time I had this dream, I would wake up in bed in full-on crab position. Arched back, flat palmed on the bed, with my head bent back as far as it would go as if I were trying to keep my spine inside my body. I would be confused, crying and terrified.
It wasn't until years later that I realized I was having nightmares about the WILLIAM CASTLE classic, THE TINGLER! The thing I felt trying to eat my spine was the parasite creature and the man I was running from was VINCENT PRICE. Now, here's the weird part.
I don't remember ever seeing that movie. I still haven't seen it. I just know that's what it was from research in books and on the internet.
What happened to me?
— Jeff Martin
Better Geek Than Never
I think this is a bit of an obscure one.
At some point in the early ‘90s, when I was about four or five years old, I saw a cartoon on Children's BBC (I think) called STOPPIT AND TIDYUP. Or rather, I saw about ten seconds of it, because after that I ran away screaming. I can't put my finger on exactly what it was that scared me, but there was something about the character designs that I found unbelievably disturbing.
I know it was a five-minute short, because that's what my mother told me in order to get me to come downstairs from my room ten minutes later, but apart from that, I know next to nothing. I remember that, for years afterwards, I was always a bit nervous whenever I was watching that channel, all prepared to bolt in case it came on again. Once or twice, it did, but I always managed to get away as soon as the title sequence started, so I never saw any more of it. I suppose I could go to the show's Wikipedia page to look up some information on it, but… there might be pictures.
Anyway, here's the strange part- from that day to this, every time I've mentioned STOPPIT AND TIDYUP to a group of people my age, someone has always said, "Oh, God, that terrified me as a kid!" And that's the only thing that they can remember. As far as I can gather, this show's entire legacy was to disturb an entire generation of four-year-olds. And considering that, a few years ago, I found out that it was by the same people who made THE TRAP DOOR (which is essentially cosmic horror for tinies), I'm starting to suspect that they did it on purpose.
(Also, when I was six, my Year One class were shown the cartoon version of ANIMAL FARM. I'd write this off as the teachers being a bit distracted and not reading the blurb, but then they showed it again two years later- both times in a double-bill with CHARLOTTE'S WEB, strangely enough. Apparently they were going for a "farm animals in peril" theme. Anyway, for about ten years afterwards, ANIMAL FARM was still the scariest film I'd ever seen. It kind of spoiled me for horror movies.)
Thanks,
— Kate
I have to admit I am somewhat of a horror fiend; I just think that as far as genres go if done right horror elicits has the most rewarding pay-off. As a child I found this out the hard way. In fact there were plenty of nights where sleep was postponed due to the lingering suspicion that an extra-dimensional being made the space underneath my bed his new abode. Raw Head Rex, Jason, Freddy, Michael, Pinhead and a whole host of others were definitely staples of my childhood. I always find it interesting to look back at what scares you as a child and what unnerves you as an adult to see the minute or, in some cases, glaring connections between the two. Like many of you, I have gone back and watched the films that made me an insomniac during my preadolescence, and quite frankly the movies were terribly laughable. However, there are a few that come to mind that really have not only aged well but still to this day send chills down my spine. Which brings me to EVENT HORIZON. I was 10 at the time I saw this movie and the year was 1997; I had no idea of what soul sucking abyssal eyeless horror awaited me at the cinema that day. I left that theater a changed person.
I guess like anybody else, the notion of Hell is a very disturbing and creepy undertaking. As a little kid we have this concept of little guys running around with pitchforks jabbing you in the ass, and to a child that is enough to freak you out. But two movies EVENT HORIZON and HELLRAISER took the concept of hell out of the fire pits and into the dark and seemingly infinite corridors of the human psyche. Where twisted flesh hangs from hooks, where the macabre and the sensual become one and the same and endless screams for mercy might as well be whispers at rock concert. EVENT HORIZON took a campy idea and forged it into a full-fledged plasma-spewing nightmare. The movie is about a spaceship that was able to find a loophole in the theory of relativity and it essentially rips a hole in the universe. Therefore instead of traveling from point A to B you bring B to A. Thus you are able to travel anywhere in the known universe, simple enough right? Unfortunately, for the first crew this ship manages to wiggle its way into the worst possible place… Hell. Too bad for the salvage crew because the ship comes back from Hell and many things have changed, and not to sound cliché but the ship is pissed. Thus the proverbial s*** hits the fan, and things start getting quite Freudian.
Before EVENT HORIZON there were only space horror movies and, the truth is, it is a hard genre to do well as space is typically the realm of Sci-fi, so if it is not about aliens then it's hard to make it work. What makes this movie work where others have failed is, number one the believability, two a decent enough cast and three atmosphere. The story is unique as it does not try to bury you in speculative science but it does recognize the theoretical possibilities that we may someday have at our fingertips. The cast does a good job of balancing believability and likability. Even the comic relief ends up being a decent character. The final but biggest thing EVENT has going for it is atmosphere, this ship oozes it from the moment we see it ominously floating around in space to the arrival of the salvage crew this ship screams HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, Dracula's manor and a whole host of iconic paranormal hot-spots. Yes, I could take the easy route and say it is the Nostromo (see*ALIEN*) like others have before me but honestly its much more than that. This ship is like THE SHINING and FANTASY ISLAND except in space, a weird analogy I know but I will explain. The ship plays on your emotions (mostly guilt) and turns the manifestations of said emotions against you. Essentially, this thing has taken a crow bar and broken into your psyche, it already knows all about you.
By now you are either cowering in the corner, thinking of the endless horrors this film could possibly conjure in your mind. You are bored by this incredibly long recommendation, to which my reply would be a "Well, I'll let you know when I think of it". Then there are those that are that perfect balance of curious and strange, and you want to see this film immediately. Hopefully most of you will fall in the final category in which case enjoy. For the best results you should watch it before you go to sleep.
