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Kinder-link:: 2 Warps to Neptune & Blanked as Ordered

January 27th, 2014 by unkle lancifer · 11 Comments

I don’t have my homework today not because the dog ate it but because I simply didn’t do it. I got too distracted! It’s not my fault. I blame Mickster and Frank Stallone. Ya see, Mickster told me about this Lynda Carter TV movie called HOTLINE (1982) on YoutTube and while I was watching it, Frank Stallone just appeared out of nowhere. Now, I love Frank Stallone more than a million Sylvester Stallones and so I had to verify it was him, which I did, but then I found a beautiful TV GUIDE ad for HOTLINE and that took me to this place called 2 WARPS TO NEPTUNE and that place was so great that I ended up being trapped there for hours and hours and I got nothing done. I didn’t even find out what happened to Lynda Carter in HOTLINE!

One of my favorite posts on 2 WARPS TO NEPTUNE comes courtesy of yet another amazing site called BLANKED AS ORDERED. It’s very well suited for Kindertrauma and so I must share. It’s a collection of drawing done by a fellow named Ryan Orvis and his late sister Ginger when they were kids. The two went to go see THE BLACK HOLE together and were so flabbergasted and traumatized by the experience that they immediately took to cathartically relating their ordeal through art. These drawings are fantastic! I want them all hung and framed on my wall (which is incidentally wallpapered with a THE BLACK HOLE bed sheet)! Which reminds me, don’t you hate it in movies when they show a kid’s drawing and it so obviously not drawn by a kid but by an adult trying to replicate the way a kid draws? That is one of my biggest pet peeves! First of all, it’s so obvious and secondly, why not just hire a real kid to draw it for crying out loud! How hard is that?

So shoo folks! Nothing new here today but do stop by 2 WARPS TO NEPTUNE and BLANKED AS ORDERED– that’s where I’ll be.

Tags: Kinder-Link




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Amanda By Night
6 years ago

Wow! Ryan is a good friend of mine, and he is responsible for giving me a real start in my writing career. I worked for him when he ran the incredible fanzine Debaser, and then later for a local entertainment paper. He and his lovely wife were at my wedding party as well (and she’s a slasher fan too!).

This is so cool. Ryan deserves all the note he gets. He’s a great musician as well!

Amanda By Night
6 years ago

Btw, you kind of have to see the end of Hotline. It has a great OMG moment!

2 Warps to Neptune
2 Warps to Neptune
6 years ago

Dude, thank you so much for the incredibly kind words! I am currently lost, ecstatically so, in the Kindertrauma archives…

Yeah, Ryan’s and Ginger’s drawings are literally a treasure. If he put them on t-shirts, they would sell out instantly. Love his blog as well. He’s a great writer, and he has great taste in music and movies.

mickster
mickster
6 years ago

Now Unkle L! You cannot leave the lovely Lynda Carter in peril! Go finish the movie ASAP! I agree with Amanda, it does have a great OMG moment!

mickster
mickster
6 years ago

Message me when you watch it!

roarvis
6 years ago

Thanks for the awesome write-up! I’m a huge Kinderfan so it’s an honor to have my terrible art grace these pages.

There’s more where that came from, covering 80’s gems like Flash Gordon, Krull, and Jaws 3-D! One day I’ll scan the rest.

Hola to my peeps Amanda By Night and 2 Warps 2 Neptune!

-Ryan O.

bdwilcox
bdwilcox
6 years ago

I’m gonna take an educated guess here that one of those drawings is of the Wood Beast from Flash Gordon.

2 Warps to Neptune
2 Warps to Neptune
6 years ago

Unk: Natasha Lyonne? You just blew my mind. Isn’t she neat?