Madonna’s New Orphan!

Yowza! Who’s that borderline material girl with the preachy poppa who’s causing a commotion with all her sidewalk talk? Why it’s that into the groove lucky star SHANGHAI SURPRISE‘s Madge “This used to be my playground” Ciccone! (She of the international smash “American Life”)! Don’t tell me she’s trying to justify her love by adopting yet another orphan! Heads up Esther, you don’t know Esther! This beautiful stranger is NO angel. She may act like she’s crazy for you, but don’t be a gambler, this Russian dolly is a bad girl who’ll open your heart with a knife and then stab you deeper and deeper and over and over! If you cherish your life, if you’d like to live to tell and die another day, we say keep it together and dump this pseudo-tyke before it’s bye bye baby and the coroner is dressing YOU up in a body bag!

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Amanda By Night
12 years ago

I am DYING to be adopted by Madonna. At an costs. I would totally still let her do it, dangers known.

This was hilarious, btw.

12 years ago

Oops, I didnt know Madonna got a new orphan.  It’s Orphan Nature.  Btw, the pic at the top looks alot like Madge adopted a young Sasha Grey

12 years ago

Hahaha. I havent seen ORPHAN yet (cuz the a**holes on its IMDB Message Board dont put the word “SPOILER” in their posts and spilled all the secrets before the movie even came out!) but after seeing this I really feel like watching ORPHAN. And SWEPT AWAY.

Nah. Just ORPHAN.

12 years ago

It’s like a beautiful dream!!!

12 years ago

That’s f’n hilarious!!! Nice work.