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Name That Trauma:: Xminus on a Chiller Van Helsing Short

November 28th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 7 Comments

A while ago on the TV channel Chiller I watched a short. I can’t find it or remember the time I watched it. It was some time in the past 14 years. I think it was about the five senses of fear. It involved a guy looking for love who finds a rather attractive woman and all I remember is that they go to a hotel, the door closes and there is a sound of screaming coming from the room. The camera zooms out to a doctor’s bag and the name on the bag is Van Helsing! The name of the short I am thinking of is “(unknown name)”s lament.” That is all I can remember. Did I make this up? I can not find this anywhere on the web. Can you help?

Tags: Name That Trauma!




7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Nov 28, 2017 at 1:32 pm

    All I could find when searching for this was the “Dracula’s Lament” song from “Forgetting Sarah Marshal”.

    Sorry I’m no help, Xminus!

    Note: today’s bumpers are courtesy of ABEL FERRARA’s THE ADDICTION (1995)
    which is currently on YouTube and I highly recommend…

    in case anyone needs a vampire fix…

  • 2 chainmanNo Gravatar // Nov 28, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    Maybe? Taejung’s Lament short story in the anthology movie Scary or Die (2012).

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1833879/reviews

    IMDB reviews

    “Tae Jung’s Lament” – a Korean vampire tale that is both elusive and clever in it’s re-imagining of a ‘damsel in distress’ story

    The Bad Stor(ies): Tae-Jung’s Lament-A lonely man attempts to rescue a woman from a strange thief, and upon doing so is granted an opportunity for thanks with her and her friends, unaware they’re part of a vampiric cult being hunted down by a master tracker. Far too much melodrama than horror with his rituals about trying to honor his deceased wife and trying to live while doing that, but it doesn’t really have a lot of scary moments. The final twist is quite nice as they don’t have any association with normal vampiric activities or actions, which again makes this quite frustrating since it doesn’t make them appear to be for any reason other than a shock twist at the end. The rescue attempts aren’t that bad and actually have some good stuff to them as the segment doesn’t tell us what’s going on and are just throwing them into the scenario. Overall, this one just feels quite lacking.

    Tale number two, Taejung’s Lament, revolves around lonely widower Taejung (Charles Rahi Chun), who, having rescued mysterious young woman Min-ah (Alexandria Choi) from an attacker, is invited to a party the following week. When he gets there, Taejung discovers that the other guests are all vampires. Another moderately entertaining story, but the payoff is weak and predictable.

    Tajeum Lament: A Japanese man who recently lost his wife saves a woman who looks similar to her. She convinces him to meet her for a night and it’s going to be a night to remember.

    Took a look on Wiki and I’m more confident that is your short.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scary_or_Die
    TaeJung’s Lament
    A lonely widower finds himself unable to cope with the loss of his wife and begins to follow around various women that resemble her. On one such occasion he ends up becoming a witness to a woman’s kidnapping. The man rescues her and in gratitude, the woman urges him to meet her one night. Unknown to him, the woman and her friends are all vampires who are being hunted by Van Helsing himself.

  • 3 chainmanNo Gravatar // Nov 28, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    The protagonists wife (recently deceased) is a friendly specter who wants to see her lonely husband get back in the dating scene. Deceased wife wants him to date a blood sucking vampire. (huh) I’m assuming his wife is really a banshee, didn’t actually like him when she was alive or is having him killed for the insurance money. How she will spend the inheritance money is beyond me. Instead of Double Indemnity it would be Dracula’s Indemnity.

    http://theradiantisotope.blogspot.com/2013/02/
    Taejung’s Lament: Taejung (Charles Rahi Chun) is a Korean guy with some kind of mental torment as seen from the listless, lost way he goes about his evening. We learn that his wife has passed away and he seems to still be stuck at a point where he hasn’t been able to move on and forget his wife (he has made a shrine to her in his bedroom) and his attraction to other beautiful women in whom he sees reflected his wife.

    His wife appears as a guardian spirit of sorts, unseen by him, watching him and hoping he would move on. One evening, he witnesses a pretty Korean girl (Alexandra Choi) being abducted by a man in a trench-coat (Azion Iemekeve). Determined to save the girl, Taejung manages to hitch his iPhone to the abductor’s car and tracks it with his MacBook. He arrives at where the car appears to have stalled and finds the kidnapper, by the waterfront, about to stab the unconscious girl through her heart with what appears to be a screwdriver. Using a nearby brick Taejung knocks the kidnapper out and rescues the girl and drops her off at her residence. There he learns that she is an illegal immigrant and therefore cannot report the incident to the police… though she says that she feels that she’s been in LA for an eternity. She hands him a note asking to meet her next Friday for a private party and has signed the note as Min-ah.

    Taejung returns to his forlorn routine but his wife’s spirit seems to want him to get on with life and she sees to it that Min-ah’s note catches his attention. He decides to take up the invitation and goes over to meet her with a bunch of roses. Unlike the first story clip, where I wasn’t expecting the zombie twist and was surprised by it, this story is pretty predictable. While the girl was being rescued I had the feeling she isn’t exactly going to turn out an innocent victim… especially with the kidnapper trying to kill her almost ritualistically. As it turns out, while Taejung is with Min-ah in her apartment, surrounded by other pretty Asian women… someone seems to be picking out the apartment security guards one by one… stabbed through the heart with the screwdriver.

    Then we see that this man in a trench coat, our previous kidnapper, has returned and seems to be the one killing the guards. He places his quite ancient looking leather bag down and opens it to pick another one of his weapon of choice…and quite obviously now it is apparent that he is a vampire hunter and that Min-ah is a vampire. To clear all doubts, there is a string of garlic pods in his bag.

    The unexpected twist in the story happens when he closes the buckle flap of the bag and we see that the bag belongs to Van Helsing! 🙂

    A caring wife would have gave him a message, a sign, something to warn him about dating a vampire. Steve Martin would’ve been given a sign. lol

    The Man With Two Brains — just give me a sign

  • 4 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Nov 28, 2017 at 5:30 pm

    Chainman,

    That wikipedia page hits the nail on the head! That’s got to be it! I’ll notify Xminus! You are amazing.

  • 5 chainmanNo Gravatar // Nov 28, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    I’d argue with you but I’m too humble. I am amazing! LOL

  • 6 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Nov 29, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    Looks like a direct hit!

    Here is Xminus via gmail…

    “I think that is the one thanks it sounds about right and I have been dying to see it again. Thanks once again for such a fast response. ”

    Nice work, friendly neighborhood chainman!

  • 7 chainmanNo Gravatar // Nov 30, 2017 at 10:55 am

    I mostly agree with you but it’s not just a direct hit, I sunk his battleship. lol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gii_MS-zFt4

    Xminus
    The camera zooms out to a doctor’s bag and the name on the bag is Van Helsing! The name of the short I am thinking of is “(unknown name)”s lament.”

    theradiantisotope.blogspot. com/2013/02/scary-or-die.html
    The unexpected twist in the story happens when he closes the buckle flap of the bag and we see that the bag belongs to Van Helsing!

    I tried to find video or an image of that Van Helsing buckle on the flap but came up short every time. ReelGood streaming search engine said that were was no streaming sites available for Scary or Die but it could be purchased. I wasn’t going to buy it just to verify the Van Helsing bag.

    Took a look on a few (cough cough) streaming sites that are somewhat non legit. Couldn’t find that movie anywhere.

    I noticed last night that Amazon Prime had Scary of Die. ReelGood didn’t have it listed when I searched. Watched Scary or Die segment two last night and it is definitely his movie.

    The second short segment starts around minute 25. Korean man is morning the loss of his wife. Has a shrine to his departed wife. He goes to the mall and is about as creepy as Roy Moore hitting on young girls. Two young ladies are riding up an escalator and our hero follows them, intently staring at their derrieres. They are creeped out and go into a shoe store. He keeps staring intently at them thru the glass. A man approaches him and asks him if everything is OK. He leaves.

    Later he is sitting on a bench (in a park?). Three Korean female vampires walk by and the eldest vampire smiles at a potential victim. He sees Van Helsing chloroform her and she is out like a light. I didn’t even know the undead were susceptible to chloroform. He runs to the rescue and Van Helsing gives him a quick backhand. Our plucky hero can’t fight but he is quick witted and puts his iphone under the gas door and closes it before Van Helsing drives off. He uses his laptop to locate his iphone.

    He doesn’t try to contact the police. He finds the car abandoned and three guys are going to steal it. One of the thieves has a gun and is adamant that he is the new owner. Our hero looks around and sees Van Helsing taking his vampire victim down to the LA concrete river. Hero knocks out Van Helsing as he is bent over and about to stake the female vampire. They escape together.

    They go back to her apartment and he now becomes very shy and not creepy like he was at the mall. The police can’t be called or she will be deported back to Korea. She gives him a piece of paper that says:

    Next Friday I am
    xxoo
    Min-ah

    She tells him that she is going to have a small party and he has to come. She gives him a kiss. YOU WON’T FORGET IT, she says.

    Her two female vampire friends go outside and rush Min-ah inside. I guess they are afraid that Van Helsing is prowling about or that the sun is going to come up.

    He leaves and is tossing and turning bed. The wife had been observing him earlier on. Now she is in bed with him and she touches his arm. He turns startled and she is gone, he looks at the piece of paper. He is going to visit Min-ah.

    He takes a big bouquet of flowers for his new vampire sweetie. Earlier he took away a wilted flower and replaced it with a new one. He passes by the vampire guard at the door and takes his bouquet upstairs.

    He enters he vampire apartment and she and her friends are all around him, he seems very content with the situation.

    Van Helsing is in the building and staking the vampire doorman and guard.

    34 minutes in. Bag on the floor. He has a heavy wooden mallet, a couple pounds of garlic cloves, you immediately know he is a vampire hunter.

    He is still happy being surrounded by women and then the fangs come out. Our protagonist wasn’t saved in time.

    You see the buckle on the bag and it says Van Helsing! (CONFIRMATION!) You don’t see Van Helsing dispatching the vampires but you can hear the action going on. If only Van Helsing had gotten there 30 seconds earlier.

    Email my description to Xminus, that should take away any doubts about his short.

    If he has Amazon Prime, he can watch the video online. If he doesn’t have Amazon Prime, I think he can do a 30 day trial and cancel. I’m not sure what country he is in or if Prime Video has the same movies in different regions around the globe.

    I’ve read that Netflix can be tricky because of licensing rights to movies but this can be beaten if you use a VPN to fake the country that you are currently in. That is why I gave him a lengthy description. Xminus might not be able to see the video. I wish him luck in trying to watch his short.

    Direct Amazon Prime video link.
    https://www.amazon.com/Scary-Die-Corbin-Bleu/dp/B009GEOVGK

    You’ve sunk my battleship!

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