kindertrauma

Traum-mercial Break:: Tribute to Terminix

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: I hope you're not eating while checking out this post. I've been meaning to salute the wonderful world of TERMINIX commercials for some time now and this is the day. Once upon a time TERMINIX ads were content to present their pesky threats as almost-cute fantastic beasts but somewhere along the line they have graduated to nausea inducing LOVECRAFT-ian, THING-like creatures that could encourage DAVID CRONENBERG to take a bleach bath. The invasions are made all the more dramatic by taking place in seeming sterile environments that closely resemble E.G. MARSHAL's immaculate digs in CREEPSHOW. Thanks for dipping in the horror well to get your point across TERMINIX! I'd say more but I have to go wash my hands.

It's a Horror to know You:: Luisito of A Slash Above!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's a Horror to Know You: Luisito Joaquín González of A Slash Above!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I was quite squeamish as a kid and I remeber I used to get scared even by murder mysteries on TV. But that changed forever when I saw John Carpenter's Halloween. I was about eight years old (I think) when I watched it and I was petrefied! Michael Myers was like nothing that my little eyes had ever seen before. I can recall that walking from one room to another with the light off was almost impossible. The mystery of that open ending kept me seraching for years. I always wanted to know how and why he could get back up after so many bullets. It's amazing that we never really get a real explanation.
That's how I became a fan of slasher movies, because I was always trying to get that same feeling that I got from Carpenter's seminal flick. After a while, I noticed that it was a pretty niche sub-genre to follow as stalk and slash flicks generally get a hard time from critics. They're also quite hard to find, so I have spent the past nineteen years tracking the rarest entries down. Most of them are fairly bad, but there is most definitely enjoyment to be had in watching them.

2. What is the last film that scared you?

To be honest the last film that really made me jump was The Ward from 2010. I agree that it was by no means classic Carpenter, but I remember we were watching it in a big empty cinema and some of the shocks were quite effective. Before that I thought that [REC] from 2008 was quite scary, but after something like 800 horror movies, it takes something special to get me now. If I ever fancy a scare, I go for one of the older 'classics' like Baron Blood or La Residencia (The House That Screamed). I'll give you one that you may not be aware of. The film Alison's Birthday from Australia is fairly rubbish, but has one of the most terrifying opening scenes anywhere ever. Seriously, it used to terrify me.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

There's so many! Of the recent ones though, I thought that The Mist was deserving of higher praise. The downbeat ending and the grim environment of impending doom were exceptional and it's one that I feel may grow in popularity in ten years or so. Another that is regularly overlooked and undeservedly so is Small Town Massacre (a.k.a Strange Behavior/Dead Kids) from 1981. I know, you are probably wondering what the hell it is, right? Although not scary, it is superbly acted, brilliantly plotted and it boasts a unique retro vibe. The small town community is something that I think really gives it an authentic character. My last is Al Filo Del Hacha (Edge of the Axe) from 1988. This is a no nonsense straight-up slasher flick and probably not so different from the countless others that were made for next to nothing around this time. What makes it stand out though are the characteristic performances, the twist ending and the absolutely gorgeous backdrops.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Now this is more my area of expertise. I grew up on rubbish, but charming horror. I love 1988's Blizzards of Blood or Iced as it's more commonly known. The dialogue, personas and attempts to be sinister, whilst failing – drastically, make it all the more fun. It's so unbelievably campy that it will cheer you up quicker than twenty bottles of Prozac. The character of Carl should become like an ambassador for eighties cheese. Next up, Mausoleum from 1983. A terrible, terrible film in every which way but lose, but if you don't get kicks out of seeing a beautiful ex-Playboy centerfold with yapping fangs for breasts, then you're lucky enough to still be very sane. But people, like me, who 'lost it' many moons ago, will be in riddles of laughter all the way through. Last but by no means least, I would have to say Burial Ground from Andrea Bianchi. The gore, the cheese, the bad acting, the kid trying to get it on with his mom! Yes it's all those things and more; a horror flick filled with more funny parts than a Jim Carrey omnibus. In fact, many of the Italian Zombie films from that period were great fun. It wasn't only the stalk and slashers.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

VEGAN VOORHEES – A fantastic site dedicated to slasher films, where the authors are always first with the newer entries.

A SLASH ABOVE – Is it egotistical to put my site here? I hope not, but I am concentrating on reviewing the most obscure slashers along with the classics, so maybe you will find something you like there!

THE TERROR TRAP– One of the oldest horror websites on the web and easily one of the best. Intelligently written reviews and a really nice lay out make this one a must.

HORROR.COM FORUMS – Great forum for chatting with other fans of horror. The people logged on are generally full of knowledge and good fun to speak with too.

SLASHER STUDIOS – These guys don't only love slashers, they make slashers too! What more do you need?

Name That Trauma :: Diana L.C. on a Post-Apocalyptic Storybook and More

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hi, yes, I am relatively new fan of your site and I just love the Name That Trauma section. It's just fun to read all the different descriptions and imagine what it was like to see such things as a kid. Well, I have a few entries for you, though they aren't exactly traumas, but they are obscure memories about odd things.

The first one's from my mother:

1. It's a book that she read in elementary school about a boy and his experience in a forbidden area near his village. When he went into the forbidden zone, he ate and drank certain things and experienced flashbacks of how life used to be in this area. He uses terms such as "a horseless chariot" to describe a moving vessel that he witnessed. He also described a similar vessel that moved through the sky. There were also several references to other things that he had never imagined possible. Upon finishing the book, her teacher revealed that the forbidden area was actually ground zero of a nuclear war, and this story was taking place many generations afterward. All the technology (and knowledge of it) of that era was left behind. Throughout the generations, the concept that the area was deadly persisted (after all, it was radioactive), and the people were banned from ever returning. Oh, by the way, the book was written in a way that made it seem like the story was written in the past.

The next ones are from me:

2. There are these scenes from some move or show that I saw as a young one. The first one shows a woman at a beach-like area at nighttime as she is chest deep in a sand pit, screaming and struggling to get out. The next seems to be of the same woman on a boat or something with wind blowing at her. Very vague, I know, but hopefully someone can get something out of it.

3. There was this movie that my second grade teacher showed us. It was about a brother and sister who were home alone when their house gets washed away in a flood. When they wake up, they find the house full of water and a cougar in the closet. Essentially, it's about them trying to survive with a cougar in the house and two thieves that are in the area. If anybody can find it, especially a place where I can watch it, then I will be very grateful.

4. There was a trailer for a low-budget '70s horror movie that featured a young guy who murdered people with an axe. There was this one distinct scene where he murders a black housekeeper in a kitchen stating that "he needs the house." Also, I think the tagline that kept coming up was "Scream Bloody Murder" (that was not the movie's title). Kind of vague, I suppose.

Anyway, if you guys can figure them out, that would be great.

Time After Time (1979) by Kinderpal Mickster

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Is TIME AFTER TIME a thriller, a romance, or science fiction? The answer is yes! TIME AFTER TIME (1979) delves into all three genres. I distinctly remember watching TAT on HBO at my older sister's apartment back in 1980. My clearest memories of the film involve Jack the Ripper, of course. I have been fascinated with Jack the Ripper as long as I can remember (see my JACK'S BACK post), so this movie was right up my alley. I received the movie on DVD a couple of years ago and finally got around to revisiting it this summer.

Mickster's Memorable Moments:

*Jack's special pocket watch with his tune for murder.

*Wells finds a young boy (Corey Feldman) at the museum is staring at him.

It's a Horror to Know You:: GCG!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's a Horror to Know You: GCG!

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?

I'll have to distinguish between being scared and being disturbed. The former has always been purely pleasurable, while the latter is something I can only appreciate now. As a kid, being disturbed messed with me, made me feel a little hopeless. But today I value that experience in horror films. The first things that disturbed me were scenes of humans being eaten. It's hard to figure why that would upset a child, but there you go. I could only answer this question directly since last week, because only by that time was I able to source a childhood movie-watching memory, something that rarely happens, but of course, does happen more and more frequently as the giant Internet brain helps us use fleeting images as keywords. In this case, the film in question turned out to be War of the Gargantuas, a dandy 1966 Kaiju film featuring two giant simian creatures—one born from a piece of hide torn off the other, which is how they reproduce. Sanda, the progenitor, has brown fur, a gentle disposition, and lives on a mountain. Gaira, the offshoot, has green fur, a mean streak a mile wide, and lives in the sea. Gaira likes to eat humans and spit their clothes out. As a child, I knew a cat who lived in the woods and brought rats to the porch as a kind of tribute to the boss-man, right before eviscerating the rodent, eating every last bit except for the stomach and intestines, which the cat would daintily push to one side before unhinging his jaws to devour the rest. I saw WotG as a child on television and watched Gaira grab a young attractive Japanese woman from an airport terminal and chew her up, spitting out a wad of something that I thought, at the time, were the unsavory parts of her human anatomy masticated into a cud and summarily expectorated upon the tarmac. I didn't catch the fact that they were merely her blood-stained clothes; I was still too young to register every plot point. Instead, I saw a young middle-class woman transformed into a gob of human remains. It was like driving past a road accident and catching the leering bug eyes of a well-dressed man with a crushed skull flopped on the hood of his own car—something exceedingly normal made ghastly. Wikipedia tells me that this hock-a-human-loogie moment was actually added to the version of the film that was distributed in the U.S., as if this film wouldn't be successful here without it. It also tells me that Brad Pitt was inspired to act after watching this film and that the creatures are not giant apes but "Frankenstein" monsters.

Years later, some UHF channel around Halloween 1976 gave me this opportunity to crap my corduroys:

I swear that's Ted Knight, the Superfriends narrator, speaking in that trailer. He did a lot of voice-over work in the ‘60s. Notice how he pronounces "terror" toward the end, like a man who can only console himself with drink and blurt out random words in the face of the zombie apocalypse. I also like the final wait-for-it moment between "night" and "of the living dead," leaving room for some dissonant piano punching. And if you don't believe me that it's Ted Knight, imagine that voice drawling out, "Mon-ROE!"

2. What is the last film that scared you?

I can watch A Serbian Film, yawn, and say to myself, "Oh, puhlease, with your coitus-eye-socketus," but put me all by myself in my study late at night watching reruns of the ghost episodes of Unsolved Mysteries on Youtube, and that's it. I'm done. I'm fetal. There's a cupola on an old Victorian home just across from where I live on a third floor—it's the old governor's home of our state before it moved to Sacramento—and after hearing Robert Stack muse on the odds of there being a Tallman's Ghost, I'm peeking out the window toward the silhouetted cupola, waiting for some green glowing eyes to appear within a Miss Havisham veil along with that perfect scream from the Disney Haunted Mansion sound effects album.

The last scene from a feature-length horror film that gave me the willies was the night vision sequence at the end of [REC]. When that tall skinny girl-thing with the long face swung around blindly, I got a healthy dose of follicus erectus. Of course, I kept checking the cupola to make sure she hadn't made her way from Spain to my neighborhood to escape the austerity laws in Europe.

3. Name three Horror movies that you believe are underrated.

Monkey Shines (Romero 1988) Vulcan mind meld with an evil monkey. I bet THESE GUYS watch the movie on a regular basis for a good laugh.

Night of the Living Dead (Savini 1990) Barbara whupping ass in a wife beater. Tom delivers the goods, and it's coming out on Blu-ray later this year, albeit at an extortionary price, if we can judge by Twilight Time's previous releases!

Dark Eyes of London (The Human Monster) (Summers 1939) Bela Lugosi at his nastiest, abusing blind people, defrauding life insurance holders (by killing them, of course),
throwing bodies in a mud bank while laughing.

4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

Bloody Pit of Horror (1965) A sadistic murderer who fancies his own well-oiled Charles Atlas physique. It's a kitschy version of master race arrogance, starring a man who spent more time on the covers of fitness magazines than in films, and had regular sex with Jayne Mansfield before she migrated from buxom bombshell to vehicular death totem. Here are the two faces of Mickey Hargitay:

The Thing That Couldn't Die (1958) MST3K can kiss my ass. Gideon Drew's mutely mouthing severed head is a thing of genius. Water-dowsing, voyeuristic cowhands, and Sir Francis Drake!

The Black Raven (1943) When a storm forces several people to stay in a mysterious house… I don't care what happens after that, and this film is the litmus test of my love for such a premise, because what happens is just stolen money and murder and even that description over-complicates it. It's so public domain, that there's probably a sun bleached VHS copy covered in sticky dust and stuck like hard candy to the edge of a splintered wood veneer entertainment console, broken and tossed beside a dumpster down the street from where you live, right now, no matter who you are or where you live. I was introduced to it via the good folks at Viking Video in the early ‘80s, a copy sold at a drugstore on a spinner rack.

5. Send us to five places on the Internet!

I already sent you to monkeyhelpers.org! What more do you want from
me! OK, here's four more:

THIS will be helpful when the wild roving bands of cannibalistic post-apocalyptic thugs require us to use more discreet forms of communication in order to escape their notice.

I enjoy THIS young Brit's take on all things exploitative:

THIS guy knows how to aggregate and do insanely obscure research for no remuneration, except my long-distance affection. His site covers all things Lugosi only as they pertain to the time he spent in England (including the Dark Eyes of London production).

If you are into noise and experimental music, I'm loving THIS new
label out of Seattle. Beautiful vinyl and cassette releases. Use
Hellvete or The Story of Rats as background music the next time you
watch Häxan or Nosferatu!

It's a Horror to Know You :: Aunt John of Kindertrauma!

Posted on By aunt john


AUNT JOHN SEZ: Well hello there! Now I know what you are thinking, "Long time, no write Aunt John" and you are correct to feel this way. Rather than bore you again with the gory details of my super crap-tatsic retinal detachment and the two awful surgeries that accompanied it (I know, get out the little violins), I am just going to say that today is my birthday and it's one of those milestone ones that warrants its own section of Mylar balloons at the party store. That's right, I am 40 and I am taking full ownership of it unlike that big old liar-pants KATE BECKINSALE who seems to be reverse ageing on July 26th. She started out two years older than me and is now a year younger than me. Happy 39th KATE! Also co-celebrating my birthday today are such luminaries as enchanting Olympian DOROTHY HAMMILL, adult film star HELEN MIRREN, and some guy named STANLEY KUBRICK, whoever that is. Before we get to my answers, I just want to let everyone know that I have recently rediscovered the joys of Twitter (@auntie_john) and can be found there most days trying to engage the elusive unicorn that is Faye Dunaway. Oh, and I also have a Tumblr devoted mainly to pictures of my cats and stuff.

1. What is the first film that ever scared you?


In terms of film, if my memory serves me correctly, I believe it was the scene from the 1977 made-for-television classic SNOWBEAST where the titular monster popped up in the window at the 50th Annual Winter Carnival. I have never in my life been to a ski resort or a Winter Carnival for that matter due, in large part, to this movie. (Spike a mug of cocoa and watch the whole thing HERE).

2. What is the last film that scared you?


Not to sound all jaded, but nothing really "scares" me movie-wise per say. I did however, have a visceral reaction to TURISTAS (2006) and had to leave the room out of sheer disgust. I'm the kind of guy who really enjoys tropical locations and the delicious tropical libations associated with them. The last thing I need is some really bad movie to insert the theme of organ harvesting into this equation. Thanks, but I'll stick with lime in my coconut.

3. Name three horror movies that you believe are underrated:

1. THE FURY: Whenever I find myself sucked into conversations about classic DePALMA, everyone wants to discuss CARRIE or DRESSED TO KILL or BLOWOUT. Sure, this film might be lacking in the NANCY ALLEN department but it has an atomic bomb up its sleeve named AMY IRVING. Whatever happened to her?


2. THE STUFF: Don't let the goofy premise fool you, LARRY COHEN serves up a big helping of biting social commentary in the form a tasty frozen treat!


3. ROMEO IS BLEEDING: Granted, it's more of a sexy thriller/misguided noir mess than a horror movie but when it comes to riding in cars with cold-blooded psychopaths, nobody can match the backseat driving prowess of LENA OLIN. Nobody!


4. Name three horror movies that you enjoy against your better judgment.

1. LIQUID SKY (1982): Despite ANNE CARLISLE's star-making turn as androgynous, twin fashion models and a soundtrack that could drive Kronos Quartet to drink, ALICE SWEET ALICE star PAULA E. SHEPPARD shows up and steals every last scene she is in. Seriously, whatever happened to her?


2. PANDEMONIUM (1982): A basic cable staple of the early-to-mid '80s, I adore everything about this slasher comedy.


3. THE FAN (1981): "I need hearts, not diamonds!"

5. Send us to five places on the Internet! (Include the URLs!)

1. WishBook Web: Growing up, the Sears Catalog was seasonal porn that had me and my siblings drooling and counting down the days to December 25th.

2.Landers Sisters Galleries: Can there ever be enough Audrey and Judy?

3. Requiem for a Dream (Official Site): Every once in a while, someone on the Internet uncovers forgotten movie web sites (I am looking at you YOU'VE GOT MAIL) and everyone gets excited and then forgets about it until the same dust is blown off the same old websites some years later. Can we all take a few moments to B-E E-X-C-I-T-E-D for this now 12-year-old relic?

4. Plan 59: All of those vintage images of creepy kids in creepy ads that you've probably seen all over the web originated here. Pack a lunch!

5. Untied/Undone: An exhaustive collection of Siouxsie & the Banshees concerts and rarities available for download.

BONUS SITES:
6. Scandals of Classic Hollywood @ The Hairpin: I would love nothing more than to go out for birthday drinks and gossip with Anne Helen Petersen.

7. How Was Your Week With Julie Klausner: What can I say? I am not really a podcast person, but I do have a thing for gingers, especially the funny ones.

BONUS VIDEO:

The Haunting of Julia (1977)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I'm going to forgive myself for not fully getting THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (a.k.a FULL CIRCLE) when I first watched it many years ago. I knew nothing about grief back then and chances are great that I was under the influence of cheap beer and surrounded by wisecracking knuckleheads. I'm also sure the pan and scan VHS presentation did it few favors. Watching it late last night in HD (on Fearnet On Demand) it struck me as easily worthy of being included among the best ghost stories ever put to film, so much so that I watched it again this morning to confirm. See, it's important to forgive yourself whenever you can, otherwise you risk being left behind in an ever darkening "once was" while the rest of the world blooms ahead. It's like being one of those tiny marshmallows that stink up the Jell-o. You should especially take it easy on yourself if you are a failure at giving your child an emergency tracheotomy or if you are not familiar with the Heimlich maneuver because it's the mid-seventies and not all that popular yet. These things happen. If you don't let go of the past you just attract more of the same but worse.

Julia Lofting (MIA FARROW) watched helplessly as her kid Kate choked to death while she and her husband Magnus (KEIR DULLEA) had what appeared to be a contest to see who could be the most spazzy and useless. After a brief stay in a mental hospital, Julia decides that without her daughter she has no one to pretend she likes her husband for, and so she moves into a place of her own to clear her head. As fate would have it, Julia picks the exact worst place in the world to move into for someone who is trying to get over the death of a child. It has 2 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 closely linked mysterious child deaths and a great view of her impending madness! Is the place really haunted or is Julia losing her marbles? Remember folks, those two things are NOT mutually exclusive. Understandably Julia begins to believe that if she can help the troubled spirit in her house, she can make up for that crappy day she played OPERATIONwith her daughter's neck and lost big time. It's a plan that backfires when everyone in her vicinity begins to die tragically and she slowly becomes the unwitting semi-possessed tool of an evil presence so heinous it has no issue putting into service, a wind-up clown doll with sharp clashing cymbals.

THE HAUNTING OF JULIA demands to be seen more than once to read its vaporous code. It trudges lethargically at times but that's all the better to conjure a melancholic tsunami. Look closely and a figure darts past a mirror or an intangible shadow spills across the screen, for long moments you are kept in pitch black with only a glimmer of an eye as your guide. Allow yourself, and there are intense moments of anticipation for what might break through- yet never quite does. It's subtle, probably too ambiguous for most but it seizes territory larger than itself, where anything in the imagination might materialize and the usual mental guardrails disappear. At one point Julia decides to visit the ghost girl's crazy ma in the nuthouse and the crone is wheeled out with purple hair and a smile that's impossible to pin down. Is she pretty, hideous, happy, evil, or insane? It's like an ever-changing Rorschach smile you wouldn't think possible outside an animated cartoon. Finally she lets the cat out of the bag, "I'm dead! And safe! Safe and dead!" That's not what I wanted to hear. I'm sorry but old ladies are the scariest. If you are an old lady you should just know that and try to refrain from cackles and grimaces.

THE HAUNTING OF JULIA scarcely solidifies its spectral presence but who needs ghostly effects when gauzy MIA FARROW is wraith-ing up the joint? Apparitions in the know realize that it's not what or why you haunt but whom. FARROW is always an interesting screen presence, even if I'm not sure what's going on with her only sometimes British accent. Her translucent skin and abandoned eyes beg the question "Who haunts who?" and lo and behold, that's much of the point. As is often her way, she goes through the emotional ringer here and it's difficult not to feel something while witnessing her crippling heartbreak become eclipsed by cold solace found in an impossible goal that leads nowhere but down. I also need to praise the consistently dank and maudlin cinematography with its no fear attitude toward tenebrosity and the supremely mesmeric score by COLIN TOWNS that I could easily spin in an endless loop when playing solitaire or whist working on filing off my ankle bracelet. Maybe it just comes down to seeing a movie at the right time and in the right frame of mind in the end but I'm grateful this one didn't hold a grudge due to my first impression and selected to creep back in my life. Maybe once long ago it flew over my head but this time it crashed right into it.

Name That Trauma!:: Atomx11 on a Babysitter and a Breathing Door

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Ok, this one has been bugging me for years…

As a young child in the 70's, I seem to remember a scary movie (or was it a television show?) I saw that really freaked me out. With a lot of childhood memories, I may be completely wrong in some details, but I believe it was a story of a babysitter in a haunted house. The ultimate creep out was when the door (to the basement?) was 'breathing' and moving in and out, like it was made of rubber… swelling and contracting with the breathing noises. I just knew there was something behind that door, that if I saw it, I would never sleep again!!

I've asked all my friends and co-workers about it and they seem to think it was The Haunting (1963)… I've watched it recently and that sure doesn't seem like it. I am almost sure my trauma was in color, plus the 'babysitter' angle seems pretty strong in my mind.

Perhaps it was a show about ghosts or hauntings, i.e. "In Search Of", etc… but I don't know. I've been scouring "In Search Of" lately too, but to no avail.

Can you help??