kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Merk H. on a Shrunken Head Friend

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hello Kindertrauma,

I've been a fan of your site for a few months now. Name That Trauma is definitely my favorite section. I've had this on my mind for a while now, and finally broke down and decided to submit this one.

I think it came out in the early 1980s, and may have been an After-School Special, or maybe a kids show on HBO or Showtime. It didn't scare me or anything, but it stuck in my head for some reason because it was a little bit disturbing. I'm hoping this is an easy one:

There were two kids involved, a boy and a girl, maybe around 10 years old. They had a shrunken head and a pan flute, and I think there may have been bongo drums too. The kids would play these instruments and the shrunken head would come to life and talk to them. I have no idea what the plot was.

Please help me out here.

Thank you,

— Merk H.

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Kudos to reader Barry Meyer for stepping up to the plate with THE BOY WITH TWO HEADS (aka CHICO THE RAINMAKER)!

Hallowen II (1981)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The black curtain opens up on an autumn breeze knocking DEAN CUNDEY's camera out of a tree. "The Chordettes" facetiously beg Mr. Sandman to deliver Ben Tramer but that high school dream is doomed to be crushed between a parked van and a speeding police car, only his perfect teeth survive the explosion. We have been promised "More of the Night He Came Home" and "The Nightmare Isn't Over!" but this direct continuation begins by putting its workman boots on the wrong feet. Shot seven (?) times, "The Shape" falls into the Doyle front yard rather than the back. It takes three years for a town to change in one moment. This is bizarre-o Haddonfield where razors hide in apples and your sister wears a wig. Everything is familiar but not exactly right.

We may have strayed off the path but who doesn't want to be here? Long monolithic shadows lay all over the place, crappy paper decorations abound and suburban backstreets transform into mazes lit only by the occasional orange glow of an expertly carved jack-o-lantern. Costumed tykes gallop the streets at whatever odd hour it may be and every radio and TV set is tuned to a horror station. Is there an impromptu carnival forming or is that an angry mob? There's no need for murderer at large Michael Myers to loom in the background. Inspired by the evening's showing of NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, he walks deliberately center stage, a floating white death skull with albatross commitment. Slippery blood is about to poor. It's later than we think.

Oh Haddonfield, earlier this evening, three years ago, you where the epitome of good wholesome small town values, my how you have fallen. Sheriff Hackett, your daughter is dead and you are the last to know. You'll be no help tonight. Just go home. Mr. and Mrs. Strode, I once had faith in you. Why can you not be reached by phone? You must have heard what's going on; don't you wonder where Laurie is? "I told you I'm not your mother!" Why the harsh angry tone? What's the point of having a secret adoption when you're going to drag your young daughter to the sanitarium to visit her unknown sibling anyway? Are these literal flashbacks or symbolic dreams? Oh Haddonfield, why have you washed your hands of your children? Why do you trust your infants to be watched by nurses who exit their posts in order to have sex in therapeutic hot tubs with undesirable pot smoking ambulance drivers? The Doctor is in…toxicated! Get it together town!

At the end of the day (or night), HALLOWEEN II is too stuffed with jolly holiday paraphernalia not to sink into and enjoy, though critics who take it to task for its shallow shuffle have a point. Yep, more bloodshed abounds than in the prudent original but its reputation for gore mongering is relative and exaggerated. The film's strong suite is its Achilles' heel and that would be its Tiger-Beat infatuation with killer Michael. Myers will never cut quite such an impressive form as he does here, but there's no room in the spotlight for anyone else. The cards are stacked in his favor to such a degree that every other character seems chained to an invisible radiator. The cops are not allowed to act as cops would, the hospital staff is not allowed to function as humans might and heroine Laurie Strode is drugged and denied not only her right to fight but also her personality as well; her soul replaced by random snapshot images of her connection to her attacker, her voice crushed down to a whine. We should give her a break though, she must be exhausted.

Maybe it's best that Laurie sat this one out. HALLOWEEN II may not be the clean pure classic that the original is but as resume material for Michael's future work as a horror icon, it's certainly persuasive. Parts of it feel no deeper than an adolescent power fantasy, an oversized action figure crashing through shoeboxes to crush smaller dolls but where it may fail on a storytelling front, it still captures the rowdy spirit of the night securely.

Once upon a time I thought that the original HALLOWEENs 1& II were intertwined, two perfect bookends thicker than thieves. Now each year the two movies siblings grow further apart. The elder child (I) is still my pride and joy while the younger (2) is a delinquent I'm prone to make excuses for. One is thoughtful and sharp and the other is willfully crass but direct. For me it's easy to pick a favorite but so what? Who needs a world of perfect movies? The important thing is both share the same esteem for the 31st of October and Halloween is just as much a time for callow tricks as it is for tasty treats.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Jhone on a Dreadful Drowning

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hi there! Huge new fan and have been devouring the site greedily.

OK..I looked and looked and couldn't seem to find this one..so I am wondering if you can Name This Trauma:

It's pretty vague, but I was so traumatized by a scene in a seventies film that involves a woman swimming in a pool who attempts to come up for air and finds she cannot. Like there is glass over the top of the pool.

MY BIG FEAR. Gah. I still have nightmares.

I could have SWORN it was BURNT OFFERINGS and slogged my way through what should have been a great film but was instead…less than amazing, and didn't find the scene. Unless in my frustration I passed it….

Help?

— Jhone

UNK SEZ: Thanks Jhone! Although many horror films contain death scenes involving swimming pools I think I know just the one you are looking for. 1978's THE LEGACY (which stars SAM ELLIOT and a bunch of people who aren't SAM ELLIOT) features just such a trauma scene! Check out the clip below!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Craig on Grisly Graverobbers

Posted on By aunt john

I've run this one by the folks at IMDb a while back and I don't think they came up with the correct answer. This is probably the best spot to solve it because I THINK it might be a made-for-TV movie, and you guys are so good at solving those.

Back in the early '80s there was something that played on TV that I was only able to catch a small bit of. We were at my grandparents and they only had antennae TV here in Canada, so it couldn't have been too avant garde. It also played within a fairly early time bracket (late afternoon or early evening) so that's what makes me think it was possibly a replay of a made-for-TV movie movie.

Anyway, there was a scene where two men are digging up a grave with a lady in it. They were interested in taking the ring she had on her finger. As they're doing so, she wakes up, there's a REALLY awkward moment shared among them, and then one of the men slams a pic-ax (or something) into her chest. I was so young and the recollection is so foggy, but it seems to me that she was wearing a gold turban or dress. I also remember my grandmother commenting on how good she looked considering she'd been buried in a grave, so she wasn't a rotted corpse. I also don't think she had any fangs because I never once thought she was a vampire (but it sure sounds like vampire stuff).

Any help on this one?

Streaming Alert :: Close Your Eyes (2002)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's been a while since I've recommended something on Netflix Streaming so let's fix that. I noticed the other day while throwing some titles into my queue that they've recently acquired the underrated, in my eyes, CLOSE YOUR EYES from 2002 (has it really been almost ten years?). This is a movie that really surprised me both in content and in the fact that it didn't garner more attention. Scratch that, maybe I'm not so surprised that CLOSE YOUR EYES failed to make a significant mark. It's one of those movies that is too gruesome for the serious crowd and too serious for the gruesome crowd and like many movies that refuse to court a specific audience, it failed to find a seat when the musical chairs music stopped. People tend to love or hate it and my theory is that's because it sets up a very believable reality only to turn it on its head and not everybody can make the leap from the everyday to the fantastic mid-film. Personally I love to be taken off guard when a carefully constructed game board is flipped.

Policewoman Janet Losey (SHIRLEY HENDERSON) is so impressed with the abilities of her hypnotherapist Michael Strother (GORAN VISNJIC) that she solicits his help with a child who escaped the clutches of a deranged serial killer. The little girl (SOPHIE STUCKEY of the equally underrated THE DARK) was found with a strange tattoo and that is the only lead as the experience has left her mute. While his traumatized subject is hypnotized, Strother is able to enter her subconscious as if it were another world. Some of these alternate reality zones are a bit dated looking but it allows for some pretty cool ALTERED STATES/DREAMSCAPE type stuff to occur and I'm always into that. The first part of the film plays like a London based psychological detective story (think PRIME SUSPECT) but once the truth begins to emerge, we get some pretty heavy occult action (think BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN). I won't say more about that latter development so that you can discover that twisted angle yourself but suffice to say CLOSE is not afraid to get crazy dark.

I have to applaud the performances and the chemistry between the film's two leads. Easy to watch VISNJIC brings to mind GREGORY PECK in SPELLBOUND and HENDERSON is sorta like JENNIFER JASON LEIGH doing Clarice Starling with the help of a smoking habit and big SINEAD O'CONNOR doe-eyes. Their romance-free simpatico relationship is as refreshing as it is strangely endearing and it's nice to see the novel gender reversal of HENDERSON being the aggressive cop and VISNJIC taking on the sensitive, put-upon psychic. If you dig mysteries, serial killer thrillers, ARGENTO-like obsessions with architecture or season four of TRUE BLOOD (big bad FIONA SHAW swipes a few scenes in CLOSE too!) you should give this a viewing. I've seen it a couple times now and besides a few wonky CGI effects and a stray random cliché or three, I think it's a clever, bracing mind-screw that one could easily get lost in if they allow themselves to.

Name That Trauma :: Richard of Doomed Moviethon on a Vampire Dad

Posted on By unkle lancifer

To the Kindertraumoids,

Hey, it's Richard from DOOMED MOVIETHON and CINEMA SOMNAMBULIST. I am looking for a vampire movie and I was wondering if you guys and/or your army of rad Kindertraumatized people could help. The movie starts with a gentleman (perhaps in flashback?) burying each member of his family as they die from a mysterious illness. One night, his wife (or maybe child, I can't quite recall) returns from the grave as a vampire. This family member tries to kill him and he defends himself by either staking or beheading them (or both). Then he proceeds to dig up his entire family and off them one by one by staking and beheading (or both). I believe this is how the film in question begins.

It gets complicated because I want to say a) this is a Hammer Studios production and b) the patriarch is PETER CUSHING but this may not be so. This film might not be either of those things. In fact, limiting it to those two criteria might be what's screwing me up. However, I'm pretty sure it was a period piece, featured British or European actors, and was either '60s or '70s.

And this film did in fact traumatize me (in my kinder form) as it were. After watching this, I had a nightmare that my dad was a vampire and he was trying to kill my sister. The saddest part was coming to the decision that it was time to kill my dad by either staking him or setting him on fire. Please don't send this to Dr. Freud. Thanks! I hope you all can help me find this piece of disturbed childhood.

UNK SEZ: Always good to hear from you Richard! I'm not feeling 100% on this but I was thinking if we substitute your possible PETER CUSHING with BORIS KARLOFF it could be the segment of BAVA's BLACK SABBATH entitled " The Wurdalak." The frightening father, beheadings and vampire child all fit. There's a better description HERE or you can check it on YouTube HERE.

I'm not completely confident on this one, so if anybody else out there has an idea please tell us in the comments and remember to visit Richard over at DOOMED MOVIETHON and CINEMA SOMNAMBULIST soon!

Book Report :: Don't Make Me Go Back, Mommy!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

One of the more fascinating websites you'll ever encounter is AWFUL LIBRARY BOOKS, a joint hosted by librarians and dedicated to the discussion of which books are ready for that big library in the sky. I've now rummaged through the entire place and I'm sure to return again. If you are prone to nostalgia like I am, you'll probably feel the same way. I can't decide if it is beneficial or detrimental that our disposable culture tends to quickly cover over embarrassing mistakes with fresh new ones, but it's nice to know that the local library erases the chalk board at a less frequent rate and we can still discover nearly forgotten trash treasures there (at least before they get weeded!) Personally, I think THE MORK AND MINDY STORY will always be relevant but time marches forward and I suppose each generation gets the MORK AND MINDY they deserve.

During my mostly pleasant and often humorous perusal of AWFUL, I came across one book that takes the cake in the Kindertraumatic nightmare department and so I had to share it with all of you. The book is entitled DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK, MOMMY: A CHILD'S BOOK OF SATANIC RITUAL ABUSE and holy cow what were the people responsible for this thing thinking? I won't even get into the issue of whether Satanic cults like the one described are real (on the documented abuse front, Satanists are certainly lagging behind the Catholic church) because even if they did exist, how would this book ever help rather than terrify an abused child further? Even in the warped reality described, if you suspect your kid has been involved in something so heinous you may want to take more productive actions then reading them a bed time story about the horrors they have experienced. Even giving it the benefit of the doubt, the chance that this book helped more kids than it needlessly freaked out is roughly nil.

I guess I have to understand that this was published in 1990, landing on Earth smack in the middle of the Satanic Panic craze that was sweeping the nation like a precursor to the Macarena. Secret Satanic cults hiding in the woodwork have become less popular in the media these days but it looks like child abuse in all its multitude of forms is chugging along as always. I guess that is to be expected when time and resources are wasted chasing phantoms rather than dealing with harsh reality. I know I needn't give something so out to lunch the time of day, but this book even has the nerve to try and drag Halloween into the scapegoat pyre! Not cool.

We joke around a lot about the stuff that unintentionally made it harder for us to sleep as kids around here. In most cases it involves misinterpreting innocent things or maybe overestimating our own bravery when it came to absorbing scary stuff at a young age. I've always contended that there is a healthy side to such fears, that they are an important part of learning to process and overcome intimidating obstacles. This book, on the other hand, is another thing altogether. This is fucked up. Not only is it irresponsible and poorly done, it strikes me as the type of thing that causes the type of anguish it's pretending to salve. I have to give it some credit though, when designated "do-gooders" on a mission add to the Kindertrauma archives, they sure do leave everybody else (even those purposely working in the field of horror) in the dust.

Burial Ground (1981)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

If you watch horror movies all year ‘round to begin with, how in the world do you amp up your Halloween viewing pleasure for the month of October? One way I kick things up a notch is by shamelessly watching movies that are extra goofy. BURIAL GROUND: THE NIGHTS OF TERROR is just such a movie. It really is relentlessly daffy and how evil am I for subjecting an unsuspecting Aunt John to it sans warning or explanation? Aunt John asked what year it was from and I guessed ‘73 (I was way off ‘81) not really my fault.

The plot is about as complex as a HENRY comic strip: a professor with a wise beard discovers how to raise the dead. He invites some friends to his cool mansion to talk about his find except he's already been eaten by zombies and soon they will be too. The entire movie consists of his unfortunate guests failing miserably at escaping peril. Folks cannot even cut across the lawn without stepping in an inconceivably placed bear trap and the only thing missing really is the BENNY HILL theme song. It's a bad day for the living and a good day for the stunningly resourceful dead. Normally a good zombie movie will make me morbidly depressed, but this one is like a semi-creepy day at the beach.

No post concerning BURIAL GROUND would be complete without singling out scene-stealer extraordinaire PETER BARK. At roughly the age of 26, the diminutive BARK portrays a young child named Michael whose affection for his mother is disturbingly enthusiastic to say the least. The portrayal is lifted to the sublime with the aid of an absolutely unconvincing adult actor supplying his dubbed, puppet show voice. Even if you think you have no interest in seeing BURIAL GROUND, I assure you that once BARK enters the picture that there is no turning around. Even Aunt John rode the film out to its "Did that really just happen?" conclusion.

BURIAL GROUND is above (or below) understanding, speculation or critism. It only wants to bring you joy. It also showcases some of my favorite zombies of all time. The make-up person sort of went with the idea that if something is painted black, then it is invisible to the human eye (even in broad daylight) and I honor this delusion. (At least that's why I think that some of our zombie pals have black make-up on their noses beneath their masks?)

In any case, I think this calls for a zombie beauty pageant! Check out these teeth that resemble no teeth that ever existed! Look at that crazy hair! How about those cutting edge burlap fashions? Vote for your favorite zombie below and check out this movie if you want to have fun. Trust me, its the only zombie movie in existence whose BARK is better than its bite!