kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Snixy on a Hothouse of Horrors

Posted on By aunt john

Hello Kinder Trauma! Thanks for all the good stuff.

I have a scene in my mind from when I was a wee lad in the early seventies and I have no idea from which film it plays. Not much to go on. This is what I see in my mind's eye: Color film. Maybe a HAMMER feel to it. A greenhouse/garden inside of a mansion. I think the decor might have feet a little Victorian or Old South. In the greenhouse are these flowers with small, proboscis like stigma or stamen which are bloody red drippy. These things drank blood. A couple of people are standing around and talking about the flowers, maybe getting ready for a feeding and a murder.

That is all I can remember.

Thanks,

— Snixy

Mad Monster Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: Today's funhouse celebrates the very first issue of MAD MONSTER MAGAZINE! You've never seen a magazine like this before folks, it's fun and creative from cover to cover and super high on love for all things Horror. You'll even find me lurking within its pages and that's not even why I love it so. Besides things to read, it offers puzzles and games and a flipbook and even a very familiar looking old house you can build! It's like the horror version of HIGHLIGHTS and you need it now!

Make sure you visit MAD MONSTER MAGAZINE online HERE to learn more about it and how to subscribe. You may want to bookmark the address too as many more great things are soon to be found there!

Also: Why not "like" MAD MONSTER on Facebook HERE so that those who have worked hard to create such a treasure know that you appreciate it! Thanks kiddies and good luck!

Can you identify the movies the ten monsters below reside in? The comments section is "off" to thwart copying just send your answers to Kindertrauma@gmail.com. THREE people will be selected based on smartness and fashion obliviousness to win a FREE collectible FIRST issue of this miraculous mag! We only ask that contestants live in the US so that we can ship them off to you and still buy cat food for our ravaging horde!

Streaming Alert: Games (1967)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I think I may have mentioned before that I tend to be a homebody/shut-in. What do I want with the chaos of the outdoors when I have a perfect nest constructed of books and DVDs? Due to my shame free affliction I have an affinity for films that take place in a limited setting. Most of these types of films are based on plays (think THE BAD SEED or BUTTERFLIES ARE FREE. Yeah, I dig EILEEN HECKART, what of it?) but that is not the case with the devoutly interior GAMES which is based on an original screenplay by GENE R. KEARNEY (Wow! The guy who directed both versions of SILENT SNOW, SECRET SNOW! I swear I'm just finding that out now!). The action in GAMES never escapes the swanky apartment of spoiled upscale art collecting New York socialites Paul and Jennifer Montgomery (JAMES CAAN & KATHERINE ROSS neither ever looking slicker) and that's one of the films major appeals to me. Watching this movie is like being a silent ghost observer in someone's home. The plot is secondary, as I find the movie acts like a cozy diorama that I find myself happy to loiter in, the Mongomerys are into pop art pinball & getting their drink on, my kinda peeps.

Secondary or not there is indeed a plot and in 1967, I'm sure it was one twisty mind fuck. Contemporary viewers may see the final gotcha coming but whatever. (What, you think you are a genius or something for outsmarting a movie? Cure something and then we'll talk.) The Montgomerys know how to be awesome, they don't have kids but they do have an elevator. They wear wigs and perform magic for their house guests and employ both an elderly maid and a butch deliveryman. One day Jennifer (ROSS) makes the rookie mistake of letting a cosmetics sales lady into her house named Lisa who is portrayed by SIMONE SIGNORET. Anyone who has ever seen DIABOLIQUE knows that this is not a good idea. Lisa grifts the crap out of Jennifer and soon she has moved herself in. Lisa is not amused by the couple's multiple sources of entertainment and decides to kick things up a notch by playing "Angry Birds" with their psyches. Soon everybody is playing tricks on each other and screwing with each other's heads. It's a bit like a more mature, parlor room version of APRIL FOOL'S DAY. You never know who's zooming whom except you kind of actually do. Even still, there are a couple of nail-biting suspense scenes and it's hard to predict just how far things will go.

GAMES is running around in a thriller coat but the lining is so very horror. It was directed by the super fantastic CURTIS HARRINGTON who has graced the planet with such titles as NIGHT TIDE (1961), WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HELEN? (1971) WHOEVER SLEW AUNTIE ROO? (1972) and THE KILLING KIND (1973) among others. It's got a casual pace but it's never less than entertaining and like I suggested earlier, it delivers a swanky joint to hang out in. I don't want to ruin the fun but let me assure you that the thunder-cracking climax is worth the wait. A certain everyday tone is established and then HARRINGTON takes off his gloves and goes in for the kill, wedging in a possible supernatural angle which leaves you second guessing your previous assumptions. The performances are all highly watchable: CAAN is smarmy, yet charming; ROSS is cloying, yet compassionate, and SIGNORET holds her cards rather nicely to her chest. You'll likely notice DON STROUD from DEATH WEEKEND and THE AMITYVILLE HORROR and there's even a cameo by CAT PEOPLE's KENT SMITH! I have no idea why this film is not more notorious than it is. C'mon look at that cast for crying out loud.

GAMES is currently available on Netflix Streaming so check it out while you can. It was never released on DVD and if you want to own the VHS, you'd better have a couple hundred dollars lying around. If it happens to be raining or you find yourself awake in the wee hours of the night, please double this recommendation. CURTIS HARRINGTON is a director who is far too undervalued and if you ask me, the stylish and twisty GAMES is one of his finest accomplishments. Go ahead, roll the dice, it's your turn.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Anna on Raining Intestines & a Frightful Fight

Posted on By aunt john

Hello, KinderTrauma!

There are two episodes that I can't get out of my head. Both of them are fragments from some animated film (or films??). Could be anime. It was about 15 years ago, and I was very young at that time, so it's more of describing my impression the fragment has left than describing the actual fragment. Anyway, the first scene takes place in some kind of a cave or a high-ceilinged underground hall with walls of dark grey stone. One of the characters is standing on the floor (he or she is unimportant), along with the spectator's POV, looking up, at the other character, a woman wearing some kind of khaki coveralls, who is hanging high under the ceiling with no visible ropes or straps around her – something or someone is holding her there. And then she says – I don't remember the exact wording, but the idea is that, uh… "Invisible pincers are tearing her apart" – she is squirming and groaning and then she bursts apart and her intestines fall down, towards the spectator.

The other fragment is preceded by a short scene in an ordinary apartment. A girl and a guy are chatting, and then the girl goes to the bathroom and starts undressing, because she's going to take a shower. And in the mirror there appears a silhouette of some pale, dragon-like creature, which the girl does not notice. The traumatic part is the fragment of a fight between a guy with black hair and dark eyes (the one from the apartment, I guess), and a creature (could be the one from the mirror) with very pale, bluish white skin. The creature is anthropomorphic and looks effeminate and somewhat artificial – as if it was made of rubber. They fight either on the roof of a multistory building or in the air. And I think it is night time. At some point during the fight the creature tears the black-haired guy's hand off. This moment is depicted with relish, I mean, it's grotesquely vivid – the bones crunch, the blood is gushing from the wound, and the guy's writhing with pain… In addition, this image is contrasted by another one that either precedes or follows it (memory fails me here) – the black-haired guy hacks the bluish creature's hand off with some sharp tool – and the stump doesn't bleed – the cut (also bluish) looks nice and clean, and tastefully raw, like a piece of fish in a sushi roll. And the creature looks… nonchalant, really, utterly unimpressed.

I didn't wake up at night after seeing this, I had no bad dreams connected with these episodes, and I don't even remember being actually scared. But I do remember the feeling of, so to say, temporary emotional numbness – like it happens when you see something very disturbing and fall into a stupor for some time.

Also, since it's been a long time, I wonder if these episodes are exactly the way I remember them. Probably not. I guess it would be quite a surprise to find out how much my memory and imagination have distorted them.

So if anyone, by any chance, recognizes these fragments, I would be very glad to know, because they have been bothering me for many years.

Thank you!

— Anna

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Thanks to Reader RedDevil for solving it with Devilman.

Scream 4

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The WES CRAVEN directed SCREAM 4 gets off to a rocky (Is this a SCREAM or SCARY MOVIE sequel?) start with a parade of patience pushing film-within-film parodies concerning personality free white girls left alone in personality free white houses. The joke aims to poke fun at the redundancy of sequels but comes across more as the pot texting the kettle to call it black. Let's just say DREW BARRYMORE's savage demise in the first flick needn't ever sweat about being dethroned as the strongest opening in the series. Happily though, once the marshmallow fluff commencement scene is scraped from SCREAM 4's windshield the movie plows forward and starts getting down to business and that business centers on characters with plenty of mileage on them in a setting we've been kept away from far too long, the town of Woodsboro.

Series survivor and "celebrity victim" Sidney Prescott (NEVE CAMPBELL) is back in her hometown on a book tour supporting her well received self-help tome "Out of the Darkness". Dutiful Dewey (DAVID ARQUETTE) has graduated to town sheriff and his once tigress wife Gale (COURTNEY COX) currently climbs the walls of her suburban cage declawed and uninspired. The audience and the denizens of Woodsboro are well aware that Sidney's homecoming can only mean one thing, that a new batch of grisly murders are about to ensue. It's notable that Sidney has mellowed to the point of accepting her lot in life. The reality is that no amount of ass-kicking will ever transform Prescott into a warrior/ hero. It's common knowledge that she's a cursed figure, an "Angel of death" who is followed by a wave of blood wherever she goes. She can attempt to write herself "out of the darkness," but it's only a matter of time before KEVIN WILLIAMS or worse, EHREN KRUGER writes her back in.

SCREAM 4 overloads its plate with zeitgeist gruel. Besides forcing the usual useless reductive "rules" down our throats, it blasts the current plethora of horror remakes, notes the rise of facebook and twitter and finishes things off with a somewhat biting critique of the ever-blurring line between unearned notoriety and legitimate fame. All of that is well and good, if not particularly fresh. Perhaps the movie itself is trapped in the same schema as once-was character Gale, desperately trying to convince itself of its own relevancy and meanwhile needlessly overlooking its own obvious natural charms. The movie battles with itself, tossing about terms like "meta" and "self aware" while struggling to find a balance between the then and the now. It wants to come to terms with its own age, to find meaning in its characters' struggles, to define the difference between "old" and "mature," but someone keeps forcing it to make stale celebrity jokes. (The idea that someone might sacrifice their last moments on Earth to utter an out of place punch line I'm assuming came from the aforementioned KRUGER who contributed a script "polishing". I've decided to indiscriminately scapegoat the guy for everything that smacks of hack in the film.)

More shocking than the truly surprising killer reveal in SCREAM 4 is the fact that I loved it regardless of it faults and I don't mind saying it's my favorite since the first. It's not exactly terrifying but it is suspenseful and goddamn it, I love sequels…especially slasher sequels. You can just carve that on my tombstone so there's no mistake. Sequels offer us a chance to observe characters as they change and grow and the decade plus fermenting period between SCREAMs 3 and 4 allow a type of novel ripening not witnessed since HALLOWEEN H20 (also penned by KEVIN WILLIAMS). If you ask me, age compliments the trio of SCREAM regulars well. Sidney has stopped wincing and rubbing her neck, Dewey has shed his mascot persona and Gale has grown into and certainly earned her trademark crankiness. Sid's annoying "specialness" is addressed (and then some) as is Gale's inability to garner appreciation for her invaluable contribution to the saga. SCREAM 4 picks up all the trash that SCREAM 3 impolitely left on the picnic table and that alone makes me a happy camper. Indeed, when we finally uncover the person or persons responsible for the new batch of knife slaughter they dump a bowl of crazy on the floor that easily rivals that which graced the first installment.

Being a bitter hater, the one thing I was not looking forward to (besides enduring a freshening-up on the always spurious "rules") was getting to know the new younger generation cast. Call it Cousin Oliver Syndrome but I'm always a bit skeptical when youngins are trotted out and expected to be welcomed into the fold without question. Imagine my surprise when EMMA ROBERTS as Sid's young cousin turned out to be one highly memorable and multilayered slasher "good girl" and HEROES' HAYDEN PANNETTIERE, with her raspy voice and Peter Pan hair cut, nearly walked away with the entire film. As messy as some of the generational collisions are executed, these two stand outs (particularly plucky PANNETTIERE) really add a nice dose of effervescent energy to counteract the grounded, near melancholia of the adult players. Faring far less well is MARY MCDONNELL taking over for a "Count me out!" LAUREN GRAHAM in the uncoveted role of "Mom who gets stabbed after bringing in groceries." (Please tell me she has a deleted scene somewhere that explains why she exists.)

So, SCREAM 4, is a crazy stew of missed opportunities, sometimes trite dialogue and random pointless characters that also miraculously yields a powerfully enthralling villain reveal, some genuine intestine enhanced bloodshed, several good jolty scares and a rare chance to visit with characters that have gotten even more interesting with age and even a few snappy new ones. It may have two left feet under its robe at points but at least there's nothing as alarmingly embarrassing as certain moments in Parts 2 and 3. (Unless of course you count the clunky BRUCE WILLIS joke.) Most importantly, it does finally offer up one golden glorious "rule" that can actually be put to good use… "Don't fuck with the original." There's a better movie begging to break free for sure and I don't blame LAUREN GRAHAM for jumping on the first bus out of town, but I'm certainly happy I got to spend some time in Woodsboro again.

Traumafessions :: Reader Raine McG. on Ernest

Posted on By aunt john

When I was little I used to watch those ERNEST movies and sometimes he would dress up as an old lady and this scared the crap out of me ever time that she came on screen I would shut my eyes. JIM VARNEY was suppose to make you laugh not cry.

Stream Warriors :: Hosted by Pax Romano of Billy Loves Stu!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: This is turning out to be a SCREAM-centric weekend! Hosting STREAM WARRIORS today is everybody's pal PAX ROMANO who oversees the blog worth yelling about with the SCREAM inspired name BILLY LOVE STU! Check and see what kind of cutting edge candies PAX has carried into our Castle today & then jump on over to his flashy joint BILLY LOVES STU!

1952's DON'T BOTHER TO KNOCK is one of those films that I truly love. Any movie that would feature the greatest cinematic sex goddess of all time as a deranged babysitter is aces in my book. Marilyn Monroe was still in the early stages of her career when she landed the role of Nell Forbes, a young woman recently released from an institution due to a failed suicide attempt. When Nell lands a job as a sitter for a couple in an upscale hotel, all is well, until she catches the eye of a lovelorn guest and starts flirting with him. What's so mesmerizing about this thriller is the way Monroe morphs from a seemingly naive young lady, to a simmering sex pot, to a full-on loon in minutes. Whoever claimed that Norma Jean Baker was not a good actress, has never seen this film.

For sheer chills alone, the scenes with Marilyn and the little girl she is watching (Donna Corcoran) are not to be missed – Monroe's seething intensity when terrorizing the child is nothing short of unnerving.

Knowing what we know now about Monroe and her lifelong struggles with depression, much of DBTK is disturbing on a whole other level. A terrific cast rounds out this one including Jim Backus, Richard Widmark, and a very young, very gorgeous Anne Bancroft.

Director David Kittredge's PORNOGRAPHY: A THRILLER is a David Lynch-like nightmare of a film about a gay porn model who vanished in the mid '90s, and a present day writer trying to piece together the mystery of the missing skin flick star. With nods to Vanilla Sky, Eyes Wide Shut and Mulholland Drive , Pornography: A Thriller demands the viewer watch closely and hold on tight as they are dropped down a rabbit hole into a world of double (and triple) identities, voyeurism, and insanity.

As puzzling and manic as the story-line becomes, the piece holds together due to some terrific acting and brilliant directing. Honestly, I've watched this film several times, and every time I do, I see something new and find another clue to the mystery. If you'd like to read my original review, you can find it HERE!

"TV Movie Inspired: Insidious" by Amanda Reyes

Posted on By kinderpal amanda by night

UNK SEZ: We seldom have two reviews for the same movie going on around these parts but after hearing pal AMANDA REYES' personal take on INSIDIOUS that had to change. I pleaded and eventually bribed her to jot her thoughts down so that all you fine folks could check them out and the results are below. Enjoy and remember to visit AMANDA "MADE FOR TV MAYHEM" REYES at her home joint frequently HERE!

Being the retro film/television nut I am, I tend to be a little late to the game. Luckily, I was only off by days, as compared to years, when it came to catching Insidious. It was a fittingly rainy night and with plans for drinks afterwards, my evening was set. I wasn't particularly surprised by how much I enjoyed Insidious, but I was definitely taken by what I felt were some nifty TV movie references.

I should say that there may be some spoilers here. So if you haven't seen the movie yet… go now!

I won't speak for either Leigh Whannel or James Wan, the superb crafters of a ghost story that employs the whole less-is-more strategy so well it can't help but give you the willies, but I am pretty sure I felt a little small screen love in the theater. Perhaps the more obvious nod to the wonderful world of T.V. movies came attached to that creepy old woman. Appropriately named Old Woman (and played by Philip Friedman), she was eerily reminiscent of that spine-chilling gal from the 1989 British chiller The Woman in Black. Sure they added a veil and made her, like, more dead, but that detached feeling of inexplicable dread permeates both characters in much the same way. It's pretty interesting then that both movies deal with children. Well, Insidious deals with the calamity of everyday parenting while the Woman in Black deals with the lack thereof (and eventually Insidious heads in that direction). Theories abound that the black-clad, T.V.-movie mistress and high child mortality rate are not coincidental (and it's probably no mistake the lead character's last name is Kidd).

While both stories are about saving a child and then paying the price for it in the end, the filmmakers behind Insidious give a deeper connection to the Old Woman and the family she terrorizes. There are small scenes featuring Josh (Patrick Wilson) plucking gray hairs and applying eye cream to those sexy fines lines of his. Josh's repressed memories appear in the most innocuous moments in the film, adding a nice kick to my post film coffee talk discussion! It's been years since I've seen the excellent Woman in Black, but it's hard to deny the resemblance of those two characters. Black has recently been remade with Daniel Radcliffe and should hopefully be hitting our shores soon. I can't wait!

The other hit-me-over-the-head reference I got regards the overall film. I believe James Wan and Leigh Whannel were inspired more by Fox's 1991 tele-pic The Haunted than Poltergeist. In some ways they are noticeably similar, but I was most struck by the association with the baby monitor incident in Insidious and that creepy talking pillow in The Haunted. The 1991 film is based on the Smurls, a devout family who are haunted by some less devout manifestations. And perhaps it's simply by the very nature of small screen horror that Insidious' deftly intimate atmosphere can't help but to harness good vibes from any audience member heavily reared on television terror, i.e. me!

Made for very little money, Insidious manages to creep inside and wring your guts. There are so many touches, such as the constant ticking sound beginning with the grandfather clock, moving to the metronome to the EKG machine and finally back to that dang metronome, that prove those fabulous men behind the curtain were meticulous with crafting what I think is the best damn horror film to come in far too long. The atmosphere alone makes it a fine companion with such small screen fare as The House That Would Not Die (1970), Something Evil (1972), The Possessed (1977) and Don't Go to Sleep (1982). Wherever the inspiration arose from and whatever I am putting into it myself, I was pleased to finally come across a new horror movie that wanted my imagination to work as hard as the filmmakers'.


 

Kindertrauma Screamhouse!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Holy crap, national SCREAM Day has arrived! I have to go see SCREAM 4's very first showing today. It's senseless for me to try and fight it. I just want it to be better than Part 3, that's all I'm asking. That's not too much to ask is it? In celebration of the opening of SCREAM 4 we have a very special ghost-face infused Funhouse! Can you guess which image is from which of the the three installments? Give it a shot! Somebody with a correct answer will be given a prize! Take your time, its not about who is first! The winner will be randomly drawn so make sure your guess is present and make sure you see SCREAM 4 so that we can talk about it later!

Traumafessions :: Reader Binrow the Heretic on Equinox

Posted on By aunt john

Hey, Unk…

After reading several Traumafessions from the 1990s recently, I figured I'd send in one from the late '70s just to help balance things out a bit. It also doubles as a personal Name That Trauma that was finally solved a few years ago.

As an easily-scared kid who watched a lot of movies on T.V., one absolutely terrifying movie (did I mention that I was an easily-scared kid in the late '70s?) stuck with me for years. I only caught the last third of it or so, and it included a bunch of teens trapped in the woods by a demonic force, talismans made out of twigs, and an almost surrealistic, shambling monster. The lone survivor gets to the car and manages to escape, only to have the steering wheel mysteriously spun out of control, causing the car to crash.

When I saw THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT much later, images from this earlier film came leaping back into my memory, but nobody I described it to had any idea what I was talking about. In the days before the mighty Kindertrauma, the internet was of no help at all in identifying it.

You've probably already guessed which movie this was, and I finally discovered the answer after Criterion released a special DVD of…yep…EQUINOX!

Kind of embarrassing to realize EQUINOX scared the bejeebus out of me back then, but such is the stuff Kindertraumas are made of. It might, however, be the reason I always felt WKRP's Herb Tarlek to be something of a tragic figure.

— Binrow the Heretic