Trauma-Mommas :: Mother of the Year 2011

When it came to selecting the Trauma-Momma of the Year, there was really no competition. Let’s take a lookie-loo at this mother’s impressive resume:

1. She’s an accomplished artist specializing in portraiture.

2. She has an appreciation for the sweeter things in life.

3. She gives a mean manicure.

4. She’s not above kissing boo-boos.

5. She’s always calling to check in.

6. Her daughter has a face that only she can love.

7. She has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to Ecstasy-fueled pottymouth.

8. She knows sleep is the best cure for a hangover.

9. The kitchen is the heart of her home.

10. Again, her paintings are very life-like.

11. She’s not afraid to get physical when a game of “hide the doorknob” gets heated.

12. When it comes time for her daughter’s swan song, she is front and center.

It is for the above reasons, your Aunt John is pleased to crown BLACK SWAN‘s Erica Sayers with the coveted Trauma-Momma of the Year Award. You earned it, you crazy bitch!

Special thanks to my own Mommy for buying me a copy of this DVD the other day during our mother/son shopping excursion and extra thanks for never napping in my room during my teen years. Seriously.

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12 years ago

Oh man, you totally stole my thunder. I was going to add:

13. She sleeps soundly even if I sand one down.