When it came to selecting the Trauma-Momma of the Year, there was really no competition. Let's take a lookie-loo at this mother's impressive resume:
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/1.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
1. She's an accomplished artist specializing in portraiture.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/2.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
2. She has an appreciation for the sweeter things in life.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/5.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
3. She gives a mean manicure.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/4.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
4. She's not above kissing boo-boos.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/7.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
5. She's always calling to check in.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/20.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
6. Her daughter has a face that only she can love.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/8.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
7. She has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to Ecstasy-fueled pottymouth.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/10.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
8. She knows sleep is the best cure for a hangover.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/11.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
9. The kitchen is the heart of her home.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/12.gif?w=640&ssl=1)
10. Again, her paintings are very life-like.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/14.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
11. She's not afraid to get physical when a game of "hide the doorknob" gets heated.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/15.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
12. When it comes time for her daughter's swan song, she is front and center.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/16.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
It is for the above reasons, your Aunt John is pleased to crown BLACK SWAN's Erica Sayers with the coveted Trauma-Momma of the Year Award. You earned it, you crazy bitch!
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.kindertrauma.com/images/holidays/blackswan/6.jpg?w=640&ssl=1)
Special thanks to my own Mommy for buying me a copy of this DVD the other day during our mother/son shopping excursion and extra thanks for never napping in my room during my teen years. Seriously.
Oh man, you totally stole my thunder. I was going to add:
13. She sleeps soundly even if I sand one down.