kindertrauma

Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Mickster on Loretta Lynn's "To Heck With Ole Santa Claus"

Posted on By kinderpal mickster

It's Christmas time, which tends to make me more sentimental than usual. I love recalling childhood memories of past Christmases. I even love listening to the same Christmas music such as BING CROSBY, JIM REEVES, STATLER BROTHERS, and PERRY COMO. However, I loathe one Christmas song to this day. My family knows I loathe this song and even now as an adult, they taunt me with it.

Icky!

I even hate typing the title, but here it is "To Heck With Ole Santa Claus" by LORETTA LYNN. When I was little, I thought Santa would be angry at me for listening to a song with lyrics like, "When he goes dashin' through the snow I hope he falls, I like to hit him in the (ho ho ho) with a bunch of big snowballs; To heck with ole Santa Claus."

LORETTA even goes on to threaten Santa with this, "This year I'll build a big fire by the fireplace, I'll be like a little pig I read about, If that big bad wolf in red comes down my chimney; He's a gonna scorch his whiskers there's no doubt."

Well, as a child, I thought Santa would be insulted by this song just as Santa in ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS was insulted by Albert's scathing letter to the editor. I sure hope this year that my family forgets to torture me with this loathsome yuletide tune!

Name That Trauma :: Reader matt323 on a "Lost" Killer Kid Novel

Posted on By aunt john

Hey there everybody,

In the mid '80s there was a novel about a killer kid called "Lost" or possibly "The Lost." The book also had a creepy T.V. commercial that ran late at night. Every time I try a search for this book everything that comes up is either related to the T.V. show or the Jack Ketchum novel. If anyone could tell me the name of the author it would great and a way to see the commercial again would be even better.

Thanks a bunch,

matt323

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Nothing seems to get past the all-knowing senski, and he knew that this book is LOST by Gary Devon.

Traumafessions :: Reader Megan D. on a Japanese Puppet Show

Posted on By aunt john

Hi there,

My sister told me about your site. Great stuff, and what a cool idea!

I was wondering if you could help me. For as long as I can remember, there has been ONE thing that I can recall from my childhood that scared the living crap out of me (and it still bothers me to this day when I think about it). I believe it was an act that appeared on the MUPPET SHOW, and it involved some kind of Japanese puppet.

Now, I've already done a little research myself and came across this:

This very well might be what frightened me so much, because it seems to match fairly well with what I can remember…but not quite. I seem to recall the puppet's movements being more jerky and frantic. My sister told me that you often track down the things that scared people so much as kids, and I was wondering if you could help me out. It would be much appreciated! If you need me to provide any more details, please just let me know and I'll do the best I can.

Thanks so much!

Megan D.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Megan, I am pretty sure you might have provided the answer to your NAME THAT TRAUMA; however, I am by no means well versed in the art of Japanese puppetry. Therefore, I feel it's best to ask our infinitely more knowledgeable readers… what says youse guys?

Traumafessions :: Reader Griffin on a Cinematical Children's Book

Posted on By aunt john

Hi there kindertrauma! I've sent you guys a question before and I don't know if you have a limit of one question per person, but this question has popped into my head and it's driving me nuts!

Anyway what I'm trying to remember is not a movie or T.V. show, but instead a horror book for kids (and no, it's not a GOOSEBUMPS book), it was a picture book about a boy who goes into an abandoned and haunted movie theater and finds a nice popcorn and soda waiting for him and a movie about to start, so he watches the movie which is an old 1950's era B-movie about alien spiders on Mars and suddenly the kid finds himself IN THE MOVIE!

And what really scared me about the book is that it ends with him trapped in the movie and possibly eaten by the spiders.

I'm pretty sure it had "Spiders from Mars" or "Mars Spiders" somewhere in the title, but anything I Google gets me nothing but DAVID BOWIE results. Oh, and in case it helps, I believe the book is from the late ‘90s.

So there you have it, this has been driving me nuts and of course I no longer have the book anywhere, that would be too easy, so here's hoping you guys can help me out!

In Memoriam: Dan O'Bannon 1946-2009

Posted on By unkle lancifer


UNK SEZ: The great DAN O'BANNON died yesterday at the age of 63. I know he's more famous for writing the beyond masterpiece ALIEN and directing the beyond classic RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, but I have to give a little shout-out to another film credit of his that truly left an indelible mark on me, 1981's DEAD AND BURIED…


"Come Dan, let me fix that for you…"


Kindertrauma Funhouse :: Black Christmas Scramble

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Oh No! Billy the beloved homicidal maniac from BLACK CHRISTMAS has finally been arrested! What's worse is that his capture occurred on the very same day that Canada decided to reinstate the death penalty! Billy's only chance to avoid death by Canadian electric chair is to plead insanity but to do that, he's going to have to recall the events of BLACK CHRISTMAS to a court appointed Canadian psychiatrist!

Can you help Billy remember the correct order of events? I'll get you started by revealing that 1=C (the title card) but what about the next 10? C'mon kids, Billy's counting on you!

NOTE: If you could give a crap about Billy's fate leave a guess or comment of some sort anyway because Aunt John still has a couple more awesome Kindertrauma logo t-shirts (sizes M, L, or XL; winner's choice!) to give away and anybody can win.. just a leave comment and you are in it to win it!

Carriers

Posted on By unkle lancifer

One shouldn't be too surprised that ALEX & DAVID PASTOR's melancholy road movie CARRIERS didn't exactly become a theatrical sensation during its very limited run a few months back. Unlike star CHRIS PINE's other summer vehicle STAR TREK, the apocalyptic CARRIERS hardly offers itself to be promoted on collect them all Burger King glasses. Although it does take a moment to partake in the mandatory end of the world "hooray, we can do anything we want!" frolic scene (our survivors have fun smashing windows by hitting golf balls into them) CARRIERS is more interested in the down side of the end of the world. It's a reverse ZOMBIELAND with zero zombies.

Speaking of Burger King I'm the type who will throw my Whopper in the trash if someone sneezes within a 50 foot radius of it so the basic fear of contagion that drives CARRIERS is not wasted on me. There are some tense squirmy moments for all you fellow hypochondriacs out there, but delivering jolty shocks of paranoia is a side dish to the real meat and potatoes served. Don't hold your breath for the usual end of the world fetishized destruction either, the brothers PASTOR persuasively relay the idea that human relationships are far more fascinating than explosions. This is a movie that has some serious respect for its characters.

PIPER PERABO is a long way from COYOTE UGLY, her bond with PINE, rife with knowing jabs of mutual understanding convinces the viewer of its authenticity early on. They are two of four survivors we get to know intimately. (CHRISTOPHER MELONI tags along for a while too, as a heartbreakingly distraught father.) These are real people who sometimes come off as far less than heroic, but the situations that they find themselves in will have you wondering if doing the "right" thing is always the smart thing. This is a world where human compassion may mean death and where betraying those close to you may be your only means of survival. Ultimately though, comprehension of the high stakes involved does little to weaken the wretchedness of watching once allies abandoned when the virus tags them "it."

With its PG-13 rating and reluctance to beat its chest, CARRIERS could be mistaken for a timid film but truly, it's atypically aggressive when it comes to avoiding moral shortcuts. Rather than paint a false universe where love is the be-all cure-all, it repeatedly confronts the moment in time where one must turn their back on others in order to move forward. Who needs fireworks, Burger King glasses or even a successful theatrical run? CARRIERS proves that it's sometimes more absorbing to watch the world end with a whimper rather than a bang.