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Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Mickster on Loretta Lynn’s “To Heck With Ole Santa Claus”

December 22nd, 2009 by kinderpal mickster · 5 Comments

It’s Christmas time, which tends to make me more sentimental than usual. I love recalling childhood memories of past Christmases. I even love listening to the same Christmas music such as BING CROSBY, JIM REEVES, STATLER BROTHERS, and PERRY COMO. However, I loathe one Christmas song to this day. My family knows I loathe this song and even now as an adult, they taunt me with it.


I even hate typing the title, but here it is “To Heck With Ole Santa Claus” by LORETTA LYNN. When I was little, I thought Santa would be angry at me for listening to a song with lyrics like, “When he goes dashin’ through the snow I hope he falls, I like to hit him in the (ho ho ho) with a bunch of big snowballs; To heck with ole Santa Claus.”

LORETTA even goes on to threaten Santa with this, “This year I’ll build a big fire by the fireplace, I’ll be like a little pig I read about, If that big bad wolf in red comes down my chimney; He’s a gonna scorch his whiskers there’s no doubt.”

Well, as a child, I thought Santa would be insulted by this song just as Santa in ‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS was insulted by Albert’s scathing letter to the editor. I sure hope this year that my family forgets to torture me with this loathsome yuletide tune!

Tags: Holidays · Seasons Beatings · Traumafessions

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Dec 22, 2009 at 8:56 pm


    First & foremost, thank you for bringing to my attention THE LORETTA LYNN CHRISTMAS COLLECTION. As a fan of Ms. LYNN’s, I feel like a big dummy for not knowing of this awesome compendium of yuletide chestnuts, and will most likely be getting it with the iTunes gift card I got from a co-worker.

    Back to LORETTA, I L-O-V-E her, and would like to take this opportunity to shamelessly discuss my admiration:


    2. “You Ain’t Woman Enough To Take My Man”:

    3. “Fist City”:

    4. “The Pill”:

    5. “Your Squaw is on the Warpath”:

    6. “Don’t Come a Home a Drinkin’ With Lovin’ on Your Mind”:

    7. The CONWAY TWITTY duets:

    8. She uses CRISCO:

    9. She’s CRYSTAL GAYLE’s big sister:

    10. That JACK BLACK album:

  • 2 micksterNo Gravatar // Dec 22, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Aunt John, happy to be of service. Since my parents are “old school” country fans, I was exposed to this type of music from birth. I’d sneak you my parent’s copy of the Christmas album if I could get away with it. Then, I would never have to hear it again. Did you know Lorne Greene recorded a Christmas album? My parents have that one too. He sings on one side and on the other he reads “Twas the Night Before Christmas” and “The Gift of the Magi.” I’ve been in the mood to listen to that one this week.

  • 3 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Dec 22, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    LORNE & JIM NABORS really should have done an X-Mas duet.

  • 4 ApocalypsejunkieNo Gravatar // Dec 23, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Who knew Loretta was such a bad ass?  And she’s right, Santa is a fat bastard :-)>

  • 5 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Dec 24, 2009 at 12:26 am

    I love Loretta. Not familiar with this song, but it has to be better than Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer! I mean, it’s just gotta!

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