kindertrauma

Kinder-Link :: The Haunted Closet

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I stumbled across a great site the other day that I would love to direct you to. It's called THE HAUNTED CLOSET and I think you guys will really dig it, I know I do. In the closet you'll find reviews for trauma classics like BURNT OFFERINGS, TRILOGY OF TERROR and both WATERSHIP DOWN and THE PLAGUE DOGS. There are spotlights on episodes of the horror series THE DARKROOM and there is even a look at Aunt John's most favorite episode of LITTLE HOUSE! You'll discover detailed examinations of such obscurities as an animated version of POE's TELL-TALE HEART from 1953 and a craptastic DRACULA video game from the eighties. There are tons of scary kid's books, JAWS 3-D cards, Halloween Chick Tracts and tons and tons of more creepy nostalgia. I myself found an amazing haunted house puzzle that I used to own as a kid! (Check it out HERE). THE HAUNTED CLOSET is great fun to dig through and is sure to unlodge more than a few memories for anyone who was a twisted kid. Do yourself a favor and check it out HERE!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Will S. on Eye-Popping Pop

Posted on By aunt john

I'm loving your site!

I would have seen this in the early '80s on public T.V., Philadelphia area — I think they were called "Creature Features" on Saturday afternoons (the intro graphic to the feature was a hand coming out of a grave, very low-budget).

I remember only one image from the movie: An old man sits slumped in a chair when suddenly his eye pops out, and hangs by "a string" on his shirt. I remember routinely begging my mom to let me watch horror movies, and always getting, "No." This time I sneakily turned it on. After seeing this scene, I wound up running in the other room, burying my face in my hands, and screaming NO. Now that's some trauma.

I imagine it is just random grindcore crap from the '70s. It was very grainy/yellow. For twenty-five years I have wanted to know what it is.

Runner-up traumas involve TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE (I can recite the intro from memory even today).

Thanks,

Will

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Will, the program you are thinking of was called CREATURE DOUBLE FEATURE with the pan in on the picture of the haunted house with the rubber-gloved monster hand popping out of a grave. The title of the movie though, I do not know. If anyone does, please leave a comment or send us an email.

To read & see more by Will be sure to check A Journey Round My Skull!

Cold Prey (Fritt Vilt)

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Howdy Kindertrauma readers, it's your Unkle Lancifer here writing to you from the Lone Star State where I am visiting my folks. By the time this is posted I will probably be back at Kindertrauma Castle, but I just had to write to you about a couple things. First of all, I miss you guys and apparently believe that you all live inside specifically MY computer and not my mother's lap top from which I write to you now. Weird huh? Also, I've been digging up in my parent's attic and I found a bunch of great old horror paraphernalia that I hope to drag back and share with you soon. The real reason I'm writing to you now though, at exactly 2:13 in the morning is because I just finished a super great movie that I'm really excited about and can you believe my dear mother was the one to find it?

There we were at the local hemorrhaging video store and I was grabbing just about every horror flick I could get my paws on and my mom hands me something called COLD PREY. Now the cover of the DVD is awful (Anchor Bay you should know better!) but the back sounded intriguing and since it was a snowbound horror flick, which I have a fondness for, I decided to give it a whirl and guess what…I LOVE COLD PREY!

Now the film is a couple years old (2006) and forgive me if I am totally out of the loop, but how did this sucker get past me? I just checked it out on imdb and it seems that its hype was pretty big, but truly I had never heard of this one or it just didn't stick if I had. Maybe I've walked past the DVD a million times and just ignored it because, like I said, the cover is stink-o.

COLD PREY is from Norway and the set up is by the book classic slasher with a group of groovy kids getting stranded and being hunted down by a crazed maniac. The beauty part is that it is done so well. It's wonderfully shot and the location, an isolated ski lodge surrounded by post card snowscapes, is incredible. Here's a thing too, I loved all the actors in it. They're not the Hollywood type that look like they have been dipped in caramel and nursed on latte bottles, they're all normalish and I wouldn't run away from them if I saw them in the street. The female lead simply ruled. She ran the gambit from breaking down emotionally to mustering up the chutzpa without ever being over the top infallible or cartoon Amazon. It's seriously suspenseful too. There is little gore but you feel the damage the characters endure thanks to the knowing hand of the director. Be warned though it is pretty formulaic but much like the formula of nestle quick plus milk, the end result is hooray for you!

If you are not a slasher fan then COLD PREY probably will not do much to convert you, but if you are I think that it's a must see flick. I for one am going to buy a copy as soon as possible. Even though Anchor Bay scratched on the cover art they do supply plenty of yummy extras like a making of doc, music vids and trailers/T.V. spots (as is their way). I know that my aversion to snarking it up all over the place may have some of you thinking that I'll roll over for any flick that scratches my belly, but trust me,COLD PREY is neo slasher heaven.

O.K. I guess that will do for now, sorry I didn't look up the director's or actors names on imdb (D.I.Y.S.), but like I said it's late at night and I just wanted to drop you guys this dose of enthusiasm before it waned. Now I'm off to get some shut eye or maybe raid the fridge (my parents love Super Pretzels too, can you believe it?)

Unk L

ALSO: So sadly out of it am I, that I just found out that a sequel to COLD PREY was released in 2008. Man, who knew you could actually miss out on stuff by living in the past?

Traumafessions :: Reader Ally G. on Logos

Posted on By aunt john

Here is a traumafession of mine. When I was growing up the old TRISTAR, STEPHEN J. CANNELL and UNIVERSAL logos used to scare the living daylights out of me!

I used to think that the TRISTAR horse would charge towards me.

I hated the loud music that came with the S.J.C. logo so I'd always hide during the end credits of THE A-TEAM.

And that UNIVERSAL logo just looked really spooky with all that mist surrounding it! I'm fine with the current COLOMBIA/TRISTAR logo and the current UNIVERSAL logo – it's the old ones that give me the creeps. I still have to skip through them watching UNIVERSAL SOLDIER and DUEL!

UNK SEZ: Don't worry Ally G., you're not ALONE!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Guy T. on Apparition-Seeing, Abused Boy Hit by an Auto

Posted on By aunt john

Hi I love your site! I have a kindertrauma movie I have been asking about for years, and have begun to suspect vivid dreaming. It was something that played on T.V. probably in mid to late '70s about a neglected and I think physically abused boy who makes friends with some little girl ghost or something in the woods. Maybe its just a voice he talks to. It ends after the boy runs out of his house after maybe an assault by his father (details shaky) and runs into the street where he is hit by a car. I remember blood coming out his nose while he is hearing the little girl's voice or seeing faces or something from the place in the woods he was in. Maybe you can help me!

I recently re-watched the movie THE SHUTTERED ROOM which had me pissing the bed for several months as a youngster and I noticed it on your website as well. One other one I actually do remember was watching GIAN CARLO MENOTTI's T.V. opera THE MEDIUM in which some woman kills herself by sticking her head in a gas oven. Good stuff for a 6 year old!


UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Special thanks to Reader Silvia_CR for identifying it as the 1978 made for T.V. movie DADDY, I DON'T LIKE IT LIKE THIS.

Traumafessions :: Reader Eskimoposh on Muppets & a Name That Trauma!

Posted on By aunt john

Where to begin?…..

I guess I'll go from least terrifying to couldn't-sleep-for-weeks petrification!!!!

Number one on my list has got to be none other than "Beaker" from THE MUPPETS. As a young lad growing up in the late ‘70s/early ‘80s I would wait all week for the latest installment of everyone's favourite Sunday night puppet extravaganza, THE MUPPETS. But as I sure as I am writing this, I would actually say silent prayers all week long that "Beaker" would NOT make an appearance that coming Sunday….because as soon as I would see him enter the screen, with his incessant "MEEP MEEP MEEP" and beaker-shaped head in full view, I would run screaming for the hills….of my bedroom. The fear has long passed, but the memory will always remain of that disturbing little scientist's assistant!

Number two is from ANOTHER JIM HENSON classic (what's up with me and Jim?!?!)….FRAGGLE ROCK! But this is only one specific episode where the big giants who eat Fraggles ate some weird pumpkin or cabbage and their heads disappeared. Can you imagine a 5 year old seeing a decapitated giant stumbling around? I had nights after that of sheer terror, imagining a decapitated Fraggle eater bursting out of my closest yelling "AAAAH where's my head?!?!?!"

And number three is a scene from a slasher film whose name and actors have completely disappeared from my memory…but there IS a scene with the formidable bald mutant from the original THE HILLS HAVE EYES and WEIRD SCIENCE that left me completely numb and horrified for a good decade….what I can remember is a young woman in a school(?) or hospital(?) and she is being chased. But she's not being chased by a young hot MICKEY ROURKE or ANDREW McCARTHY….no….she's being chased by the bald mutant who's got either a prison outfit on, or a hospital gown….or something…and he has a chainsaw….and he's hell-bent on using her as firewood. I proceeded to leave the room faster than the spinning teeth of his saw…..please help me find the name of this one????

Thanks guys, I absolutely LOVE your site, and have gone back on a weekly basis to check on all of my fellow kindertaumatics and their traumafessions…..

Cheers for now,

Eskimoposh

UNK SEZ: Hmm, I have a feeling that MICHAEL BERRYMAN probably has grabbed a chainsaw in more than one film, but in VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS he actually played a character named "Chainsaw" (pictured above) who escapes from a mental hospital. The obscurity of V.O.T.R.A. makes me have my doubts though. Another possibility is 1978's THE FIFTH FLOOR; in that movie he plays another mental patient but having not seen it, it's only a guess. Can anyone out there verify if it's either of these two stabs in the dark? Even if I'm wrong on both counts I have to say both films look like must see viewing to me (V.O.T.R.A. even stars a pre-NIGHTBREED CRAIG SHEFFER and RUTH GORDON). Let's hope they both get the DVD treatment A.S.A.P.

NOTE: Read more about VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS at RADIOACTIVE REVIEWS and check out the clips below if you dare!

Name That Traumatot!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Look at all these Traumatots! Some are nice kids who found themselves in horrific situations, but one of them is so super bad that he took an axe to his ma's head! Can you guess which movies these youngins appeared in? Some of them are kind of obscure, but you've bound to have come across a few if you are a horror fan. Now get guessin'! The answers will appear… eventually!

Traumafessions :: Kinderpal FilmFather on The Giving Tree

Posted on By aunt john

I have a Traumafession that may not be a first, but is surely a rarity: a second-generation Traumafession.

It comes from The Giving Tree, the beloved children's book by Shel Silverstein (who also wrote Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue," strangely enough). While the book is a heart-tugging classic, it's the back jacket photo of Silverstein that traumatized me as a child, and now my 5-year-old son Dash.

To put it in perspective, this photo is from a brand-new reissue of The Giving Tree. In other words, they've been using it for at least three decades.

I mean, is this the best head shot they had of this man? The gritty black and white photo, his thick eyebrows, even thicker beard, and an expression that looks more like he's going to chase you through the woods than tell you a children's story.

Even if this was the best photo of Silverstein at the time, that was at least 30 years ago. Horribly scary photo aside, how about a different or updated photo just 'cause? A simple image search on Google easily produces several better options.

So, not only did this photo of Silverstein scare me as a child, it's disturbed my son enough that he actually asked me to take the book jacket with me after bedtime stories one night — he too thought "the man on the back was scary."

NOTE: Be sure to check out FilmFather's excellent blog HERE!

Traumafessions :: Reader Steven S. on an Anti-Heroin P.S.A.

Posted on By aunt john

Thank you so much for the gift that is Kindertrauma – every day brings new delights!

I am surprised that no one has yet mentioned a classic P.S.A. from the late ‘60s, and I must confess I'm grateful that they haven't, as I am simply terrified that someone may excavate this childhood horror in video form and post it. Every few months or so I do a web search to see if it has ever resurfaced…to date, nothing.

It was an anti-heroin P.S.A., I believe 15 seconds in length. The camera panned around a wind-up toy monkey playing a drum as a little girl's voice is heard: "They say that people who are addicted to heroin have a monkey on their back – isn't that cute!" Then the kicker – the camera zooms in FAST on the monkey's face. It bares its fangs, and the hellish thing screams. (It may have cut to a shot of an actual simian at this point, but my memory is unclear.)

The speed of that zoom was breathtaking – the child had scarcely finished her last word before the camera moved and the shriek was heard. It was unquestionably the most frightening thing I ever witnessed in my childhood, and despite a steady diet of filmed and written Horror from my youngest days, nothing had prepared my little six-year old psyche for this. Whenever the ad played again, I ran screaming from the room…and since it was only 15 seconds long, I didn't have much time to get away!

A number of years ago, I posted this recollection on a web discussion group dedicated to all things horrific. Days later there was a very angry reply from a respected attorney in Texas, who said he had successfully repressed the trauma of this ad over the years…and my posting had brought the evil thing back into his consciousness and was giving him nightmares. Trust me; this cautionary spot had a profound effect on those of us of a certain age. I've long suspected this might have been an inspiration for Stephen King's short story "The Monkey."

My arms have been covered in gooseflesh typing every word of this. Please – don't find this P.S.A.!

UNK SEZ: Steven S., this is your lucky day because no matter how hard we tried, we could NOT find your P.S.A.!

Name That Trauma :: Reader Diana N. on a Sacrifice Stopped by a Shooting

Posted on By aunt john

I just love your site, and am getting lots of good tips on movies to see. Also, it helped me to revisit a horror that terrified me for years after watching it at the tender age of 14, it was PIECES. It truly made me feel sick for a very long time. I hired it again when I was about 23, but just couldn't bring myself to watch it; the memories of the horror were too strong. I am happy to say that after discovering your site and seeing a clip on your youtube page, that at the more mature age of 39 I was able to sit through the whole movie, and even giggle a little. Yay!!! The power has been taken away from that particular nastie.

My find-that-film has been bugging me for at least 15 even 20 years. I watched it when I was very young, maybe 8 years old. I was born in 1970 and the movie was probably from the ‘60s or ‘70s. A HAMMER horror type (don't think it is though) with a male actor, PETER CUSHING type (probably not him though). The only scene I remember which I think was near end of movie…. a woman tied up and possibly gagged lying on an alter/bed type thing, in a church(?), under a white sheet. Next to her a man with a knife, looking all possessed about to plunge knife into the woman for a sacrifice; woman squirming away from position of knife raised above her, then suddenly another man bursts in and shoots the knife wielding man in the back. The woman was a real woman (not a child), naked but covered by a white sheet. She is on the bed/alter and fully aware of the pending sacrifice, but not willing, there is fear in her eyes and you can see her move her body under the sheet trying to get away from the knife, which the man is holding above her. You can see she wants to escape and thinking by moving her body she will avoid the plunge of the knife, this is why I think she is tied and gagged, not a mesmerized victim as you often find in these types of movies. Anyway, someone bursts into the room/church and shoots the villain in the back. End of movie.

Hope you can help. Glad to get the nightmare of PIECES out of my system, now just to figure out this little bugger….