Name That Trauma:: Michael A. on a Repeated Staircase Stumble
When I was a kid in the early '80s, I made a point to catch Suspense Theater every Saturday afternoon. It aired on WPGH in Pittsburgh and showed mostly horror movies — like Hammer/Amicus/AIP stuff — with a dash of sci-fi (including timeless classics like Starcrash and Starship Invasions). It also showed one unidentified movie that I've wondered about all these years later, but I only remember the opening-credit sequence.
It's in color, and I'm guessing from the '60s or '70s. It starts with a guy walking up a dark stairway. He reaches a door at the top of the steps. The camera stays near the bottom of the steps, looking up at him from a distance. The door opens. Someone or something then emerges and hits the guy, apparently striking his head. He then tumbles back down the steps and toward the camera.
Now here's where it gets especially weird and memorable: the movie loops that footage — starting with the door opening — all the way through the opening credits. So you see the guy take a hit and fall down the steps over and over again until the movie really begins. Sadly, that's all I recall.
I will be grateful (and impressed!) if anyone can ID this movie.
Thanks,
Name That Trauma:: Brother Bill on a Sightless Backwoods Cabin Dweller
It's one thing to forget the name of a movie you saw as a little kid 20, 30, 40 years ago but this "Name That Trauma" is just plain embarrassing because the film I'm trying to place couldn't be more than a decade old, meaning it came out sometime in the late 2000s.
All I remember is there is a girl living in a backwoods cabin with no eyes (or eyes were removed, or blind… whatever it was, she couldn't see) and she wears a blindfold with those old-timey flat glass eyes attached to it (looks very creepy.) I want to say the cabin decor and the way she dressed was almost retro-50s ish(?), as if stuck in a time warp, wearing hand-me-down clothes from generations ago. Somehow a man wanders into her cabin and he ends up with his own eyes removed and his still living body hanging from a tree with a rope run through his empty eye-sockets. OUCH! It may have been a subtitled film, I can't remember.
It's NOT Sheitan (2006) which also features eyes getting removed and was around the same time-period sort of maybe.
A little help here?
Mini-Tribute:: Creature (1985)
Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before. The other day I snagged a used VHS tape of a movie I had vague negative memories towards at one of my favorite thrift shops because what the hell? It was only a dollar. But halt the presses! After watching the movie, I ‘m pretty sure my bad memories of it must be false implants of some sort because I suddenly love it! The movie in question is 1985's CREATURE. Am I sure I even watched this before or am I mixing it up with a sloppy fusion of ANDROID (which also featured KLAUS KINSKI) and boring INSEMONOID (which also featured a pissed off space monster)? As it turns out, CREATURE is one of the more entertaining ALIEN wannabes and from now on, I'm going to think of it in the same high regard as say FORBIDDEN WORLD (1982) and GALAXY OF TERROR (1981). Good lord is there anything more fun than a sci-fi horror hybrid riding the coattail exhaust fumes of the unmitigated masterpiece ALIEN? Doubt it.
And you know what's really weird? As much flack as CREATURE gets for being an ALIEN clone when you watch it now, it's actually more like a psychic precursor prediction of PROMETHEUS (try saying that a hundred times fast). Seriously there's some kind of DEAD SPACE death disease bouncing around this flick that transforms KINSKI into a black-eyed, space helmet headed zombie-oid who could easily have been lifted right out of that semi-recent spooky space jam. Plus you want stars? I'll give you stars! CREATURE boasts cinema's greatest father, LYMAN WARD!!! He's the dad of both FERRIS BEULLER and ELM STREET 2's Ron Grady (ROBERT RUSLER). And how about sophisticated glamour-puss DIANE SALINGER? Not only did she star in both PEE WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE and PEE WEE'S HOLIDAY, she was also married to PEE WEE as Penguin's ma in BATMAN RETURNS! She's a total badass in this and probably the inspiration for that Kay-Em 14 character (LISA RYDER) in JASON X. Not that you need more than KINSKI.
I guess now is the part when I'm supposed to plead to the powers that be that CREATURE be released on Blu-ray but nope, I gotta say I'm all set here with this rusty and crusty VHS tape! The picture is actually way better than what I had prepared myself for and there's something so fitting about watching low-tech science fiction on tape because it comes across as an intercepted transmission of some sort. Plus I'm a horror fan not a horror consumer and yes, I really dig the nostalgia factor. Folks keep trying to make nostalgia a bad word but that's never going to work on me. Perhaps the most retro reaction I'm going to have toward CREATURE is I'm going to watch it again! Does anyone remember when a movie rental was so special that you tried to get as many views as you could out of it before you returned it? In closing, this is one of the best dollars I ever spent. CREATURE delivers all the eighties goodness you could ever want plus it's never stingy on the blood and gore and it's kind enough to treat you to a decent view of the big bad monster. What more can you ask for? Should I have told you the plot? C'mon you know the plot.
Blessed Are the Children (2016)
When I was in art school a million years ago all I wanted to do was paint drippy abstract monstrosities while my teachers seemed bent on forcing me to draw stiff bowls of stale fruit. I had a class in which the entire semester consisted of sketching exactly ONE drawing of a boring statue. I swear if I didn't have my trusty Walkman (and my well worn JAMC "DARKLANDS" cassette) I probably would have murdered someone. Anyway, one of my teachers justified this torture by saying, "You have to learn the rules before you can break them" and that has always stuck with me. Strangely enough that sentiment popped into my head recently while watching BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN, a movie that lovingly salutes many a horror trope and then when you least expect it, slyly stomps on a few too. One thing is for sure, writer/director CHRIS MOORE has been doing much more than blindly collecting and stacking his shelves with horror titles throughout his life, he's obviously been closely studying what makes his favorite flicks tick as well.
Hey, we know Chris around here! He's shared more than a couple posts with us over the years. To tell you the truth, I never feel comfortable writing a review for a film from somebody I know. It's not because I'm worried that I can't be objective, it's because I'm worried I'd be the first person to cynically roll their eyes if I saw similar logrolling taking place on another website. But you know what? I should just lighten up. From what I've seen, journalistic integrity isn't exactly a gigantic concern within the horror community these days (and that's putting it lightly). Besides, at the end of the day, when it comes to a movie that's built to scare, it either works or it doesn't and for me, BLESSED ARE THE CHILDREN works. It could probably use some trimming down and some of the set pieces are sharper than others BUT (without ruining anything) let me just say that one scene in particular genuinely SHOCKED me and that's not the easiest thing to do. Trust me, it's safe to say the threat(s) rampaging in this film are undeniably off-putting and alarming as hell.
BLESSED focuses on three equally charming gal pals (KALEY BALL, KENI BOUNDS and ARIAN THIGPEN) and it's sorta like SEX IN THE CITY if you replaced THE CITY with the suburbs and the SEX with being mercilessly stabbed to death by a horrific figure wearing a wailing and somewhat accusatory baby mask. Much of it may read low budget and homegrown but that's part of its charm and it shouldn't throw off true slasher fans raised on backyard delights (and KT favorites!) like THE MUTILATOR and OFFERINGS. You'll note right from the opening credits though, which are a lovely homage to HALLOWEEN, that director MOORE has loftier goals in mind and he does a fine job manipulating the viewer's focal points particularly in the well-edited Di PALMA-esque kill scenes. Garnish all that with blood red clad ambiguous marauders slicing through the flick like personified trigger warnings for anyone traumatized by THE BROOD and/or DON'T LOOK NOW and you've got a rather impressive roll call of worthy horror inspirations.
I'll pull back the reins before I oversell. That's never a fair thing to do. I can think of a few films I'd have a much healthier relationship with if only they weren't rammed down my throat. I just know if I had blindly rented BLESSED from the Redbox I would have started off smugly thinking I knew where it was going and I'd have been proven completely wrong. These days independent filmmaking is a lot cheaper and easier than it used to be and that can lead to a bunch of movies by people who are let's say, talent-challenged. That's not a problem here at all. You can tell the guy behind the camera is genuinely interested in the characters and his empathy for them is contagious. Better still for gore hounds, MOORE is not afraid to take the gloves off and get nasty at the precise moment it's required and he knows enough about horror movies (and slashers in particular) to understand which batons are worthy of passing on and which ones are ready to drop. Plus, I gotta add a busload of extra kudos for the smooth, neutral handling of the potentially incendiary subject matter. This soufflé could have easily flattened into a preachy pancake with a more heavy-handed chef and that fate is admirably avoided. So without any bias, I say, check out this movie; it's wonderfully unnerving, notably shocking and an irrefutable reminder that the spirit of independent horror is alive and slashing. And with some bias I'll add, YAY CHRIS! Good job, buddy! Don't forget us little guys!
Name That Trauma:: Jared D. on a Black and White Horror Trivia Book
So, back in middle school, I checked out this book from the library more times than I can count. I can't remember the name of it to save my life though. It had a hand-drawn black and white cover and the bulk of it was filled with information regarding Dracula and other generic scary things. But at the end of the book, there was a section of horror movie trivia that included questions about "Frankenhooker" and the name of the video store that Jason walks past in one of the "Friday the 13th" sequels. If this rings a bell for anyone, I would greatly appreciate it!
Thank you!
It's a Horror to Know You:: Jon Clark!
It's a Horror to know You Jon Clark!
What is the first film that scared you?
Halloween 3, I know it gets a bad rep and all that but when I saw it, it was on TV (edited for TV at that) I was just a little boy, maybe six (who didn't know or CARE that the film didn't have Michael Myers in it). It was the opening scene where the mechanized man walks into the hospital and makes the "C" with his thumb and forefinger, then QUIP, plugs it into that poor dude's eye sockets. There's that, which is pretty damn horrible and terrifying, but what does he do next? He wipes his fingers off on the curtain! Damn, that' s just cold. As was always the case when I was a kid, pretty much right after that scene, it was time for me to go to bed (thanks mom!). So of course all that night I knew, just knew for sure some creepy dude was about to open the door and come for my eyeballs!
What is the last film that scared you?
A few months ago, I was on my computer working during the day with no one in the house, and sometimes I open up a little window on the screen and watch movies or TV while I work, usually when I'm inking. It just plays in the background. I decided to have a mini marathon of the syfy show Paranormal Witness. Each case has the real people telling their stories. Sometimes they have videos of what they saw, sometimes they have police officers(!!) saying "this was real." Watching episode after episode gave me this awkward feeling. Just this cumulative effect of woah, man, something is really going on out there, this stuff is all real! I just got really creeped out and had to put something else on, like a comedy, you know… just until people came home… yeah, better with people around.
Name three horror films that you feel are underrated:
It's 1983, network TV, primetime, I'm in third grade, alien "Visitors" arrive. They are our friends. They just need our help. Oh, and they eat rodents, oh and they want to eat us too. This is V: The Miniseries baby. There is so much good about this show. I love the concept of the resistance. Julie's rise to prominence and unwanted power. The scene where the older Jewish father Abraham tells his son why we must hide the scientists breaks my heart. Even the scene when Elias's brother dies in front of Caleb, I don't know, it's borderline ham-handed but I get sucked back in each time to believe in the pain there… He was the doctor! And horror? Dudes and dudettes, my kid mouth gaped down like Diana's when she ate that mouse, and when Donovan kicked that guy's face off, it was nuts!
The Dead Zone. Yup, the one by Cronenberg. It's a movie that I find myself putting on all the time. There's an intensity and profound sadness to Walken. (on a side note: in my heart of hearts I believe that the comic book character John Constantine: Hellblazer was based off Walken in this film, has to be) The whole sequence with the serial killer "gazebo" is scary, intense, and shocking. Look at the details. Look at his room, it's the same from when he was a little cowboy. Herbert Lom, wow. Martin Sheen, on fire!
Near Dark. Vampires in Texas and no one says vampire. There's a sweet love story (that I buy right into) and the whole thing really makes vampires seem real. Of course you gotta duct tape up the windows because: vampires! Added bonus: I've read the screenplay and it's not written like any other script I've read, it's horror film poetry. I leave you with exhibit A and B: "Is this shit kicker heaven or what?" And Homer.
Name three horror films that you enjoy against your better judgment:
This one was the hardest one to answer, because well, if I love something, I love it. I go with my feelings and let go of the critical judgments.
The Crazies remake. (this was surprising because I'm usually a purist and George Romero is a hero of mine) I saw this in a second run theater with a friend the first time around, and I thought it was pretty good. I watched it again just recently and liked it even more. There are some really great suspense moments. That pitchfork scene being one. It kicks off right away and doesn't really stop. Eisner did a great job with it. I gotta give him respect.
13 Ghosts. The William Castle original. It's just goofy fun and I can watch it with my son. It's a live action Scooby Doo movie. There's a lion ghost! And I love William Castle anything.
Prince of Darkness. I've read and heard the arguments. Here's how I feel about this one: It's like old Star Trek, yes, the acting can be over the top (or underwhelming for POD), yes, the effects are mostly cheesy (I mean The Thing vs. POD, how the mighty have fallen) BUT, we're talking about something here. There is a solid story here. There is a big huge frightening concept about the nature of evil, where it is, what it wants. There is a science vs. religion argument here, and it's creepy. And I love it! I regularly re-watch the opening 45 minutes. I mean a month won't go by without me re-watching it. The idea that the church has been hiding a demon/antichrist in the basement for centuries, I don't know, maybe it's just because I think that's EXACTLY what they'd do… !
Name three favorite non-horror films.
A Simple Plan (also works in the underrated section) This movie is so freaking good! I don't know where to begin. The concept, the acting, the script, the direction (Sam Raimi!). Scenes turn and head into dark dangerous places that leave my head spinning.
Singing in the Rain. I am the biggest horror nut in the world, but hear me out. This is a case of the most talented people in the world firing on all four cylinders and then turning on the rockets too. You've seen baseball, this is Babe Ruth, you've seen basketball, this is Michael Jordan. These people are the best dancers, comedians, singers, choreographers, there's romance, spectacle, old school Hollywood. I LOVE this film.
The Sandlot. Again and again. Call me a softee. When they play baseball at night under the fireworks with Ray Charles playing in the background, my eyes well up. "You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!" Sandlot 4-eVer, 4 eVer.
Jon Clark has his first horror comic THIN coming out on September 7th through American Gothic Press. THIN is an unconventional horror story about an overweight woman who attempts a miracle weight loss cure and finds herself in a nightmare without a way out. It's intimate, visceral, and horror fans (especially Kindertrauma fans) should love it. THIN is available for preorder HERE and make sure you like THIN's facebook page HERE to keep up to date! Check out a preview of THIN below!
