Hey, DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974) is trying to hide from me on Tubi TV by wearing its alternative title THE HORRIBLE HOUSE ON THE HILL. It won’t work! I see you DT5 and you look crisper, cleaner and more colorful than ever. The only proper way to combat a hot, humid and hellish summer day is by watching a winter set film- particularly if it’s a winter set film featuring a gaggle of psychopathic youngsters bent on murdering every dopey adult they encounter in a groovy seventies lodge. I’ve always thought there was something singularly unsettling about this film and its weird vibe. Maybe that’s a natural reaction to witnessing adorable freckle-faced Dodie from MY THREE SONS (DAWN LIN) dumping a bucket of killer piranha into the bathtub occupied by an unsuspecting woman (who happens to be DAWN’s real life mom, CAROLYN STELLAR. BTW-DAWN’s older sibling LEIF GARRET is also on board playing a like-minded murderous tyke). THE DUKES OF HAZZARD’s Boss Hogg (SORRELL BOOKE) and WILL AND GRACE’s Rosario (SHELLEY MORRISON) are exactly zero help in situations like these. My advice is: grab some hooch and a couch and sit back and take in the calamities while the air conditioner churns. Be prepared for moaning slow motion kills, corpses encased in snowmen, the greatest catfight ever put to film and a disturbing young woman in a nun’s habit sporting psychedelic shades. DEVIL TIMES FIVE is playing on Tubi TV HERE. If you haven’t registered yet, what the devil are you waiting for? You’re missing a free horror movie treasure trove!