TRAUMAFESSION :: Reader Mike on the Gump

Whenever I bring up this film (RETURN TO OZ) scaring the crap out of me, anyone who’s seen it chimes in, “That lady with the heads got you, huh?”  No, strangely enough I had no problem with Princess Mombi’s closet of live heads.  Seeing Oz decimated didn’t bug me either.  Nor FAIRUZA BALK as Dorothy getting electroshock therapy, nor the fucked up clay animation at the end.  What kept creeping back was that moose-looking Gump head couch thing.

To escape Mombi’s castle, Dorothy lashes a mounted animal head to a couple couches, slaps some large plant leaves on the sides to act as wings and a broom for a tail, then re-animates the mess under the impression it will fly her and her new friends out of the tower.  It works of course.  And the first thing the upholstery abomination does is tell its back story: he was walking along in the forest, heard a loud noise, and now suddenly he’s here.

As a head on a plaque.
That’s tied to some couches.
That can fly.  Using palm leaves.

This thing just woke up from a coma with years lost, its head nailed to some wood and some old couches for a body. And it’s not screaming to please be put back to sleep, why God why is this happening, oh please fucking kill me again, oh the pain?  No, he’s fine with it. Thankful, no less!  Sure, he’ll fly you guys around!  No problem! Thanks for turning me into a couch-freak!  Yay, let’s go!

But wait!  They didn’t do such a good job tying everything together and pieces start dropping off during the escape! Doesn’t that hurt when pieces fall off?  Doesn’t having an old couch as a body hurt to begin with?  Christ, why don’t sudden extreme body modifications bother this thing?  Tell me that’s not more creepy than a glass case of heads.

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