kindertrauma random header image

Traumafessions :: Reader Count Otto Black on the Daleks

January 23rd, 2011 by aunt john · 6 Comments

It all started with the Daleks. You know what a Dalek is, don’t you? The amazingly long-lived British T.V. show DOCTOR WHO never quite conquered America, but I think even Americans will be familiar with the Daleks, because they’re without doubt one of the scariest monsters ever invented. Hell, they’re scarier than quite a few of the real ones.

According to legend, their creator, the late TERRY NATION, was in his local library when he happened to glance at the volume of The Encyclopedia Britannica labeled “DAL – LEK” and the proverbial cartoon light bulb appeared over his head. His next problem was figuring out what something as alien-sounding as a “Dalek” could possibly look like. But when he saw the pepperpots in the BBC canteen, cartoon light bulb #2 clicked on, and the rest is history and staggeringly lucrative toy-sales.

I was a nervous child. Pretty much anything concerning ghosts, monsters, or Very Bad Things generally would disturb my sleep-patterns for weeks. I even had recurring nightmares which nowadays would be identified by those excitable types with the tinfoil beanies as alien abductions, but fortunately this was back in those innocent days before Whitley Streiber explained to us that made-up space-aliens are real after all, so at least I didn’t have that to worry about as well. But of course I was scared of Daleks. Every child in Britain was scared of Daleks. Well, we are talking about Nazi dustbins with voices that could grate cheese going around killing people for no particular reason, despite being armed only with an egg-whisk and a toilet-plunger, and anyone aware of this website knows that kids take that sort of stuff very seriously indeed.

And, being an imaginative sort of child, it got me thinking. So: you’re four years old, and you know that a completely non-human, inorganic thing about five feet tall that looks like an everyday household object can suddenly come to life and kill you for no reason at all. Having established that your immediate environment is mercifully Dalek-free, what else do you need to worry about?

Well, for starters, there are those horrific charity-collecting boxes that you hardly ever see any more (I can’t imagine why.) You know, the ones consisting of a life-size fiberglass replica of a disabled child with a disturbingly blank stare that your average zombie could take a master-class from. Of course, being made entirely from fiberglass, they’re obviously rigidly immobile.

But the trouble is, they’ve got that cylindrical base just like a Dalek.

And we’ve all seen how well Daleks cope with extreme disability. Wait a minute – those boxes are thrusting a box in your face on behalf of the disabled… Do you see a connection forming here? When you’re four years old and political correctness hasn’t been invented yet, by God you see a connection forming…

I had nightmares about those things! I really did! They only came out at night (of course), but when they did, they invaded my house (of course.) Shiny, rigid, melancholy polio boys gliding around in absolute silence, holding out their collecting boxes for – who knew what? At that age my grasp of economics was at best vague, but even I knew that a horror of this magnitude was unlikely to be kept at bay by a four-year-old’s pocket money. Luckily they had one screamingly obvious design-fault – a total inability to climb stairs. If my bedroom had been moved downstairs, or if the BBC had decided 20 years sooner that Daleks could fly, I think I might have been in a certain amount of psychiatric peril. But it wasn’t and they didn’t, so I had that magic staircase to protect me from those glossy lads.

Tags: Traumafessions

6 responses so far ↓

  • 1 rifframoneNo Gravatar // Jan 23, 2011 at 11:25 am

    I got hooked on the Tom Baker episodes that they ran here in the US when I was a kid. The daleks didn’t creep me out much, but Davros always did. Currently I find the Weeping Angels to be one of the most spooky characters on the show. Loved the episodes with them- so much tension.

  • 2 Joanna BoeseNo Gravatar // Jan 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    Actually what’s inside those Dalek machines is more disgusting…although the human Dalek looks more like some guy in a rubber mask wearing a suit…

  • 3 Jami JoAnne RussellNo Gravatar // Jan 23, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    Ah – Tom Baker was my first Doctor…. I didn’t get to see many episodes, but caught them at random on PBS. Somehow the new Doctors just don’t do it for me the way Tom did.

    And I look forward to ten years from now when some 14 year old is confessing about being terrified by the Weeping Angels or the Empty Child.

    Are you my mummy?

  • 4 FatherOfTearsNo Gravatar // Jan 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm

    My first Dalek encounter was “Genesis of the Daleks” back in 1979 on a local New Jersey TV station. Like rifframone I found Davros more creepy than the Pepperpots. Oh, BTW, I found those people in gas masks yelling “Mommy! Mommy!” in the new series to be disturbing as well…..and I was about to hit 40!

  • 5 Jami JoAnne RussellNo Gravatar // Jan 24, 2011 at 2:09 am

    Yeah, that’s The Empty Child episode. A kid is killed by a bomb and these nanites fix him, but they don’t know what humans are suppose to be like, so they fuse him to his gas mask, then everyone he touches becomes just like him and goes around asking “Are you my mummy?”

  • 6 ApocalypsejunkieNo Gravatar // Jan 24, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    That ugly old dude in the wheel chair freaked me out to no end. That he looked exactly like the hell fire and brimstone preacher from my grandparent’s shit-kicker church didn’t help, either. :-O

You must log in with your Kindertrauma account to post a comment: