Being a kid is both wonderful and crappy, because, whether it’s horror movies or Santa Claus, kids invest way too much emotion into a lot of smoke and mirrors!
A few days ago, my husband coaxed me into finally watching a movie that, in my youth, I had never been able to sit through. The film came out when I was in 2nd grade, and going by the advertisement (the gnarly severed hand ringing the doorbell over the tag line “Ding Dong, You’re Dead”) along with the scariest looking witch I’d ever seen, I was certain that it had to be the most terrifying horror movie ever made. That movie is 1986’s HOUSE starring WILLIAM “believe it or not, I’m walking on air” KATT as a recently divorced writer who inherits the mind-f*cking house in which his crazy Aunt hung herself. And believe it or not, hilarity ensues!
Growing up, I thought the movie was simply about a guy in a house full of ghouls trying to kill him. Every time I came upon it on any film channel, once the witch showed up, :::click!::: I’m out! For a 7-year-old, that bitch was scary! After doing a search, I was surprised that Kindertrauma didn’t seem to have much of anything on the film. And when I finally sat down to watch the entire thing; I just knew I was in for an intensely frightening gore fest.
Is there a contest for the most misleading poster EVER? Because I think I found the winner. Damn that corpsy hand! I’m not saying it was a bad movie (flawed script, but otherwise awesome), I’m just a little pissed off I was freaked out for 25 years by a creepy drawing and a dude in a rubber witch suit.