TRAUMAFESSIONS :: The Moms of Kindertrauma

TRAUMA-MOMMA WEEK concludes today with two very special Traumafessions from your Unkle Lancifer’s and Aunt John’s very own mothers.
Aunt John’s Mom on THE WIZARD OF OZ:

As a little girl, I didn’t go see horror pictures. I was NEVER into that stuff, and I don’t like them now. Your Grandfather used to take me to see the ones with ESTHER WILLIAMS swimming or MGM musicals on Saturday afternoons. I remember causing a scene at THE BELLS OF ST. MARY’S when I was four and had to be taken out of the theater for crying, but I really don’t remember what upset me. That was the movie about the nuns with INGRID BERGMAN and BING CROSBY, so you tell me what was so scary. I do remember going to see the WIZARD OF OZ with my Mother when I was seven or eight, so it was 1947 or 1948, though that came out in ’39. I was sitting on the aisle seat, and when those flying monkeys came on the screen I put my head down. I did not like them one bit. Out of the corner of my eye, in the darkness, I saw a little boy tearing up the aisle screaming in terror being chased by his older sister. I recognized her as a classmate, so I took off after her and we got a hold of her brother in the lobby. My Mother brought them back in the theater and I ended up sharing my seat with my school friend. Her little brother ended up falling asleep in my Mother’s arms.

Unkle Lancifer’s Mom on FRANKENSTEIN & PALS:

Scary movies in my childhood consisted of THE WEREWOLF, FRANKENSTEIN, and COUNT DRACULA. One Saturday back in the late ‘40s, the movie theater in my hometown had a matinée of movies with all of the scariest monsters. A group of friends decided we wanted to go and see the monsters. They promised us a great scare. We were all given tickets with numbers as we paid our admission, which at that time was 25 cents. We all sat down to enjoy the movie with our 10-cent popcorn and drink. After the first movie a man came out on the stage and told us he had a great surprise for us. He then started to call out numbers and asked all those holding these numbers to come up on the stage. I had one of the numbers called and one of my friends also held one. So off to the stage we go, not having any idea of what was in store for us. The house lights dim and the music starts playing. Our backs are to stage right and stage left. All of a sudden the audience starts screaming at the top of their lungs. As we turn around, we are facing all our fears: FRANKENSTEIN, THE WEREWOLF and COUNT DRACULA. As we are screaming they are walking closer and closer. Finally they are standing right next to us and the house lights go up, and they start talking and laughing with us about how great it was to entertain us.

Unkle Lancifer & Aunt John sez: We’d like to thank both of our Moms for the stellar MOMMA-FESSIONS, and send a special thanks to all our readers for their great comments and suggestions this week. Happy Mother’s Day to all y’all mothers!

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15 years ago

Aw, great Momma Fessions! Loved this week’s features–you’ve outdone yourselves, Unkle and aunt! As I said before, can’t wait till Father’s day now! And Boss’s day, and Secretary’s day, and Columbus Day…

Speaking of the Wizard of Oz, I’m amazed nobody has submitted a trauma-fession on those damned APPLE TREES. I mean, the flying monkeys (rightly) get most of the press, but those god-damn trees were terrifying. Like the Inhumanoids, but with worse attitudes and apple bombs.

J.A. 1969
15 years ago

Hey Lancifer and Auntie John,
I have that Wolfman figure in
the blue plastic coffin myself!
He don’t pop out the way he use to though..
He’s still sittin’ on my bureau.


14 years ago

Wow, having your Mums contribute is sooooooo cute. Did I just say “cute?” Really? It must be really cute, then.

I was really proud of myself when I watched WIZARD OF OZ all by myself for the worst time. The Wicked Witch of the West scared the bejeezus out of me, and when the Cowardly Lion leapt out the window, I always cried because I thought he’d get hurt :*(

Excellent Traumafessions!