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...:::Sunday Streaming:::...

Sunday Movie:: Dead of Winter (1987) (Via Comet TV)

March 19th, 2017 · 6 Comments

Here comes one last icy blast of winter! Let me tell ya, one of my most favorite memories of seeing a movie in the theater was when I first saw DEAD OF WINTER way back in the olden days. My first year of college I had no TV but I happened to be renting a room in a small town that had a movie theater that showed second run movies all week and had a magic show on the weekends (shout out to the incredible Cabot Street Theater in Beverly, Mass!). It was great because I went and saw basically everything they played regardless of genre and they changed their movies several times a week.

DEAD OF WINTER has some kind of moody goth-lite charisma that hits me exactly where I grimly live. I’ve been fascinated by cold and distant HITCHCOCK-worshiping, high-maintenance psychological thrillers since 1982 when I became the world’s first and only STILL OF THE NIGHT super-fan. Nothing butters my bread better than a dark and stormy night, a female lead who may or may not be losing her mind and a big old dark creepy house with plenty of visual details to repeatedly explore. If the lady in question is playing multiple roles as the great MARY STEENBURGEN does in this, that’s all the better. Sign me, my cat, my STAR WARS blanket and my whiskey up!

This is one of those special movies that I feel I have to have on both DVD and VHS; the DVD is for serious viewing and the VHS is for me to fall asleep to. Is that wrong? I can’t help it. I love it so. DEAD OF WINTER is all about what happens when you loose your identity trying to be all things to all people (a goldfish in a plastic bag- best symbolism ever!) and how you can never, ever trust people like RODDY McDOWALL. It’s directed by the brilliant ARTHUR PENN (BONNIE AND CLYDE) and am I the only person who thinks STEENBURGEN looks exactly like KATE BUSH? There’s a scene in DOW where she struggles to climb up a steep wooded hillside and every time I watch it I hear BUSH’s “Running up that Hill” in my head. This is one of those go-to comfort movies that I return to over and over again. If you have never had the pleasure before, check it out on COMET TV today at 2pm HERE!

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Sunday Movie:: Night of the Living Dead (1990) (Via Crackle)

March 12th, 2017 · 2 Comments

TOM SAVINI’s 1990 refurbishing of his buddy GEORGE ROMERO’s immortal NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD has got to be one of the most underrated remakes of all time. I’m not surprised folks were skeptical before it hit the big screen but I’m more than a little shocked anyone was able to cling to their cynicism by the time the end credits rolled. It’s so darn good! Personally, I thought I had witnessed the vital birth of a Ripley-esque heroine in the revamped Barbara (PATRICIA TALLMAN) and I was stunned to later find critics giving the whole rip-roaring anti-adventure a cold dismissal (How could you, EBERT?). What’s worse, even horror fans shrugged it off and snidely shunned it. I have faith that most of those naysayers have changed their tune by now but how could they be so blind in the first place? Ugh, I guess some people really need to trash some things in order to prove their love for other things, which is pretty stupid because you can easily love both!

Every remake has its work cut out for it and this particular one had some extra big shoes (or coffins) to fill. Is it possible people were extra biased because they figured special effects guru SAVANI would deliver the ultimate gorefest? Well it just so happens, I like my undead like I like my everything- and that’s on a small scale and in a very limited space. SAVINI cut his directorial teeth directing TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE episodes and that could explain part of my mad devotion; something about that series singularly scratches a psychological itch for me. SAVINI’s take almost feels like an extended DARKSIDE episode and that’s so up my nightmare alley. I’m not the type who thinks SAVINI walks on water but I have to say whoever is responsible for this particular end product has got some serious chops. The score even has that strange minimalist keyboard routine going on and the meager budget insures everything remains looking backyard regional and lived in. The atmosphere is so convincingly nihilistic and morbidly depressing that the entire excursion acts as a cathartic purging of negative vibes. And how can anyone look a gift horse in the mouth when its front teeth are genre legends TONY TODD and BILL MOSLEY? Meanwhile, a motion picture is worth more than a zillion words and you can check this fine flick out for FREE thanks to super cuddly CRACKLE right abouts HERE!

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Sunday Movie:: After Midnight (1989) (Via Comet TV)

March 5th, 2017 · No Comments

I don’t ask for much out of this universe, I just ask that every human person who I interact with at some point watches the 1989 horror anthology AFTER MIDNIGHT. If you’ve been playing hard to get in regards to this simple request today is the day that you can heed my plea with relative ease because AFTER MIDNIGHT is going to be on COMET TV! As I mentioned long ago HERE, there was a point in my young adult life when AFTER MIDNIGHT was my very own “Name That Trauma”! I once fatefully fell asleep in front of the boob tube and woke up to the segment involving a gaggle of girls being hunted down by ferocious dogs in the big city. I was in a half conscious, semi-dream state and the whole business seemed like a televised nightmare. It took me years (and the rise of the internet) for me to track this movie down and tattoo its title permanently inside my head. Frankly folks, you shouldn’t need me to tell you to watch every PAMELA ALDON (GREASE 2, THE GATE 2) movie you possibly can. AFTER MIDNIGHT starts at 6pm but I plan to be handcuffed to the TV long before that as COMET will also be sharing LUCKY McKEE’s ode to SUSPIRIA, THE WOODS (2006) at 2 and the Kindertrauma classic BURNT OFFERINGS at 4! Don’t fret if you don’t have a TV set, the very same parade of horror awesomeness is going down smack-dab HERE!!!

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Sunday Movie:: Strange Invaders (1983) (Via Comet TV)

February 26th, 2017 · 1 Comment

I’ve got a fantastic flick for y’all but I better tell you about it fast because it’s going to be on soon! At 2pm today, good old COMET is going to be airing 1983’s STRANGE INVADERS and you can watch it for free just by clicking HERE! I’m not going to lie to you, even though it’s always spot on with the smoky pastel visuals and appreciative winks towards 1950’s sci-fi, STRANGE INVADERS starts out kinda syrupy slow (I’m not down with the droopy score or milquetoast lead PAUL LE MAT)… BUT if you are patient you will be rewarded with absolutely awesome eighties make-up effects and the infatuating likes of WALLACE SHAWN, FIONA LEWIS, LOUISE FLETCHER and most importantly, the worship-worthy NANCY ALLEN! Seriously, as soon as ALLEN shows up it’s like you’re watching a whole new movie! Now if you should happen to come by this notice late, don’t fret; at 4pm COMET is airing KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE! What a great double feature!

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Sunday Streaming:: The Boogey Man (1980)

February 19th, 2017 · 3 Comments

Hold up now, did you realize that there is absolutely nothing to stop you from watching 1980’s THE BOOGEYMAN for free on super swell and generous CRACKLE (HERE)? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people trying to rewrite history and claim this movie doesn’t rule. That’s nonsense. C’mon, if being derivative of HALLOWEEN and THE EXORCIST is a crime than you’re going to have to lock up my entire movie collection! I know director ULLI LOMMEL went on to squander his talent churning out lamentable chaff but I’m going to forever contend that there’s some creepy as hell miasma emanating from this partially silly motion picture. The opening theme alone is enough to make me feel like I walked into some sleazy, unfathomable supernatural hive of unmitigated wrongness. Plus, what about that crazy shish kabob car kill? What about that annoying kid being rightfully guillotined in the bathroom window? What about that scary dude with the panty hose on his head? Eh, I give up. Watch it for the soundtrack alone for heavens sake! So good!

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Sunday Movie:: Mom (1991) (Via Comet TV)

February 12th, 2017 · 3 Comments

My name is Unk and I’m addicted to COMET TV. I can’t help it because they’re always showing the best stuff. And I love watching on my bunny-eared TV with clothes hangers and aluminum foil wrapped around the antenna. God help me, I even like the weird commercials that rudely assume I’m in golden years and have somehow fallen and can’t get up (that’s actually an assumption that gets more accurate with each passing day). Sorry, that fancy TV downstairs can go ahead and just stew in its HD juices, for all I care. My little TV is literally huggable. I don’t know, maybe I’m really addicted to nostalgia. It was always a treat for me as a kid to watch TV from under a blanket with my cat and now that my cat has been reincarnated, we still enjoy it! Anyway, you don’t need a TV to watch COMET TV, you can watch it on your computer anytime you like!

Anyway, I figured today for our weekly SUNDAY STREAMING shindig we’d try something different and I’d alert you to a movie that’s airing live tonight on COMET TV! At 6pm you can hit COMET TV and watch a strange little flick from 1991 called MOM. Have you seen this one? I avoided it for years because the VHS box made it look like some boring French comedy of some sort but it’s actually a straight up monster movie! It kind of reminds me of THE FLY (1986) a bit because it explores the limits of loyalty when a loved one progressively transforms into a toxic nightmare who threatens to drag you down with them. Making it even more worrisome is that it stars JEANNE BATES who triggers the hell out of me due to her mortifying presence in MULHOLLAND DRIVE (especially when she gets all miniaturized). Seriously, I did a terrified spit-take when she materialized in DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER just this past holiday season! That old broad is scary (incidentally MOM features yet another DIE HARD 2 actor, ART EVANS, what does it mean?).

In closing, click HERE at 6! You’re going to be terribly convinced that MOM is going to be a goofy laugh riot from its cheap look and then by the time it’s over you’ll be all shocked at how strangely tragic and quietly unsettling it ends up being. MOM also stars the excellent BRION JAMES (THE HORROW SHOW) and ginger royalty MARY BETH McDONOUGH of THE WALTONS, MORTUARY (1983) and MIDNIGHT OFFERINGS (1981) fame! Furthermore, please remind me on a yearly basis that MOM is both a great Christmas horror movie and a great Mother’s Day horror movie! Thanks!

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Sunday Streaming:: Daughter of the Mind (1969)

February 5th, 2017 · 1 Comment

Earlier this week we had a Name That Trauma involving a father staring into a fireplace and lamenting the loss of a child. I didn’t come close to being able to identify it but it sure reminded me of a Name That Trauma from our early days (HERE) which turned out to be the 1969 TV movie DAUGHTER OF THE MIND. If you ask me, this ghost tale based on a book by PAUL GALLICO (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE) goes a bit off the rails with its bonkers explanations but that doesn’t dilute the haunting quality of many of its supernatural scenes particularly the chilling opening that closes with a ghost child (THE TOOLBOX MURDERSPAMELYN FERDIN) admitting, “I hate being dead.” So let’s say we check out DAUGHTER OF THE MIND today, I’d say it’s perfect Sunday Streaming fare/Super Bowl counter programming! Not sold? Do the names RAY MILLAND and GENE TIERNEY mean anything to you? Hey, it’s even got the exact same opening theme music as WHEN MICHAEL CALLS! What’s that all about?

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Sunday Streaming:: I Saw What You Did (1988)

January 29th, 2017 · No Comments

I’m just going to come right out and tell you that I prefer the 1988 TV remake of I SAW WHAT YOU DID over its WILLIAM CASTLE directed, JOAN CRAWFORD starring, 1966 predecessor. You can threaten me with wire hangers all you like, I won’t budge. The revamp is directed by the criminally underrated suspense specialist FRED WALTON of WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979) and APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1986) fame and it is just as slick and groovy as you’d suspect. Furthermore, it stars two of my favorite people on the whole planet (SHAWNEE SMITH the same year she did THE BLOB!) and TAMMY LAUREN (she who took down THE WISHMASTER!) Plus, it’s got good ol’ CANDACE CAMERON from FULL HOUSE in it…PLUS…two (count em!) creepy CARRADINE brothers (ROBERT and DAVID)!

Oh, I’ve got plenty more to say about this fantastic jam but to read that you’ll just have to buy ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE: A TV MOVIE COMPENDIUM (HERE) edited by the glamorous and multi-talented AMANDA REYES! In the meantime, you can be kind to yourself by watching the slap of eighties awesomeness below! Oh no! Just checking out the first scene with its HALLOWEEN II approved “Mr. Sandman” song featured in it has got me hooked! I’m trapped! There goes another Sunday afternoon!

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Sunday Streaming:: When Michael Calls (1972)

January 22nd, 2017 · No Comments

Hey, let’s say we all watch the TV movie classic WHEN MICHAEL CALLS! I’m not sure if it’s scary but it’s definitely creepy and sometimes I think creepy is better than scary because it lasts so much longer. I mean, there’s just some sort of feeling or tone to this movie that gets to me every time- ya know? Well, it was filmed in Canada in the early seventies and that certainly helps give it some legitimate horror cred. It’s even got Mrs. Mac (MARIAN WALDMAN) from BLACK CHRISTMAS in it and we all know she rules. Sure, it’s a little dated as it comes from that time period when everybody thought it was perfectly acceptable for a grown woman to impersonate a young boy by utilizing a Rocket J. Squirrel voice but in same ways that just makes it more surreal and weirdly off-putting. In any case, you can’t beat the cast; when you’re cooking with the likes of ELIZABETH ASHLEY, BEN GAZZARA and MICHAEL DOUGLAS how can you possibly go wrong? Trust me, if WHEN MICHAEL CALLS isn’t perfect for a mid January Sunday afternoon, I don’t know what is! Plus it’s got murder by bees! I love me some murder by bees! How did I not mention the score? Listen to this opening theme…

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Sunday Streaming:: The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

January 15th, 2017 · No Comments

Back in the day, one of the scariest movies you could crash into while driving down the UHF highway was the drive-in classic THE LEGEND OF BOOGGY CREEK. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, something about this flick could make you feel like it was the dead of night. Based on so-called actual events and starring real witnesses in reenactments, THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK may be the first faux-documentary horror film ever conceived. With all the polish of a high school Science Ed film, it spins the tale of a town called Fouke terrorized by a hairy Big Foot-type monster. Big Foot or “Sasquatch” carries little weight in the national psyche these days, but once upon a time he was the physical embodiment of the wilderness’s last stand against mankind’s complete appropriation of nature.

The movie itself is a time capsule showcasing a world that no longer exists both within the film (the technology-free town) and without (the film’s identity as drive-in fare). Many scenes are laughable by today’s standards, thanks to sub-par acting and the obvious limitations of an ape suit, but BOGGY CREEK still has its own quiet power. This is campfire story material and the viewer surely has to be in the right mood to be effected by its vague G-rated violence. The sad fact is, with psychopaths and terrorism lurking about in the real world, it may be difficult for modern audiences to empathize with the fear of the wild. Whatever is coming to get us, we can pretty much assume it’s not coming from the woods. In fact, at this point nature certainly has more to fear from us. Still, maybe there’s something ancient in our DNA that fearfully relates…

Kindertraumatically, at the end of the film the narrator returns to the location of his early childhood fears and he surprises himself by actually longing to hear the howl that once terrified him, “Just to be a reminder that there is still a wilderness left.” Sadly, I’d venture that there’s probably a Starbucks in that space today. BOGGY can still be a lot of fun and its influence is ever reaching (BLAIR WITCH PROJECT, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY et al.), but it’s hard to be truly scared of a monster you mostly feel sorry for. That being said, I’m happy to report that sightings of the Fouke monster continue on. Maybe there’s still a little kick in the old boy after all. Take that Starbucks (P.S. this is a re-vamping of an old review. I plagiarized myself)!

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