As a person that reads, I read everything you guys post. So I figured it was time to join the other readers in celebrating Kindertrauma by submitting a Traumafession. Here goes….
When I was young I was obsessed with unicorns. In fact, I “convinced” my friends that the scar on my forehead was merely the result of a horn removal surgery. So you’d be right to assume that THE LAST UNICORN was a must-watch and re-watch for me. But no matter how familiar I made myself with this cinematic masterpiece, it never failed to scare the living sh*t out of me.
First, there was Mommy Fortuna (read by ANGELA LANSBURY…FOR REAL) with the tree-stump for a head and her menagerie of abused and ill-willed animals. The Harpy was particularly menacing, what with its flesh-eating ways and all.
Next, there was the belligerent Skull with his red-glowing eyes (the more drunk he got the brighter his eyes would glow! WTF???), his riddles, and his costume jewelry. Nothing is scarier than a mean-spirited alcoholic skeleton dangling from the rafters….except for maybe….
The anthropomorphized, hyper-sexual, psychedelic tree that goes after Schmendrick the Magician like a total perv! And this, my friends, is only the tip of the creepy-probably inappropriate for children-iceberg.
But these days it’s the universal themes of this movie that freak me out, as opposed to the characters themselves. Themes like life, death, genocide, jealousy, abuse, failure, materialism, opportunism, and all the typical sh*tty things that humans tend to do. Compared to the overall message of the movie the Skull seems like your average creepy, yet harmless, drunk cousin at Christmas dinner and the tree is now a mere cougar who has failed at Weight Watchers. But that Harpy is still freaky as hell. “Set me free! We are sisters you and I!”
— Violet R.