Medusa in CLASH OF THE TITANS slithered her way into my brain and stayed there. It was not that she was so scary to look at; it was the fact that if you looked at her you turned to stone…and she was topless! In my pathetic, adolescent teenage boy mind I was convinced that if I ever found myself in the same situation as Perseus that I would NOT be able to resist looking. Stupid I know, but sort of like a person who's afraid of heights because they secretly fear they might jump. For some reason this imagined weakness on my part kept me up at night. I'm married now and the female anatomy holds slightly less mystery. In fact, my wife forced me to send this in. She makes fun of me about it every chance she gets.
Jeff, Tell your wife to stop poking fun! That Gorgon was a veritable vixen! In fact, thanks to our local library's supply of back issues of CELEBRITY SLUETH magazine, We uncovered THIS X-RATED IMAGE from her forgotten early modeling career. Don't show it to wifey!
Shot as a T.V. pilot, THE NORLISS TAPES spends its first ten minutes establishing the back-story on troubled writer David Norliss (ROY THINNES) and what would have been the subsequent episodic structure for a series that was sadly never picked up. In a nutshell, droopy-eyed David goes missing before submitting the manuscript on his anticipated novel about the supernatural. His publisher pops over to his overly wood-paneled bachelor's pad to find Norliss, but instead finds a series of numbered cassette tapes that each contains a terrifying tale. As the publisher listens intently, the screen does that awesome â€˜70s dissolve into the action transpiring on the tape and we are introduced to the recently widowed Ellen Cort (ANGIE DICKINSON) and her late husband, the sculptor James Cort, who is now a blue-faced zombie with an occupational interest in blood. Ellen hires David, an early day Fox Mulder, as a private investigator when her local sheriff (CLAUDE ATKINS) laughs off her claim that her dead husband seems to have a problem with staying buried. In the course of his investigation, Norliss interviews James' art world associates and meets the mysterious Mademoiselle Jeckiel (BLACULA's VONETTA McGEE) who eventually reveals that she commissioned James to posthumously sculpt a statue of the demon Sargoth in exchange for immortality. In order to complete the piece, zombie James needs human blood to mix with his clay, so a delightful string of murders are used the keep the action moving between the more tedious scenes of David playing armchair gumshoe. With no help from the stubborn sheriff, Norliss eventually cracks the case and brings James' artistic afterlife to a fiery end. The scene dissolves back to David's publisher who pops out the first tape, fires up a smoke, and loads the next cassette into the player. Produced and directed by DAN CURTIS (DARK SHADOWS, NIGHT STALKER, NIGHT STRANGLER), THE NORLISS TAPES provides a nice glimpse of what could have been undeniably interesting appointment television. Each week, a new tape would have brought a different tale perfect for the stable of â€˜70s guest stars poached from LOVE AMERICAN STYLE. Although this never happened, the pilot for THE NORLISS TAPES still holds up as an excellent tease.
- Ellen's dead husband tosses around her German Sheppard like a Pound Puppy doll
- Hider zombie in the backseat of the young shop girl's car
- Ellen's scream-a-thon as she stumbles SCOOBY-DOO-chase-scene-style over the dead bodies in the underground passage
- The bloody ring of fire used to trap zombie James and Sargoth
- The zombie's greatest kills montage incorporated as a bonus in the closing credits
- Fouke-face is so frickin' scary that a cat has a heart attack when it sees him!
- Nancy's "Bunking Party" is attacked!
- Any and all musical interludes, specifically "Hey Travis Crabtree!"
- The furry hand through the window trick!
- Fouke-head attacks a guy sitting on the toilet!
- That scary candy offering ticket salesman
- The beast creatures attack the bus
- That witch lady's creepy song
- Lemora gives Lila a bath
- Lila reunited with pops
- Lila is reunited with the Rev
February is the month of love, so what better time to take off our kiddie beanies and present you with our ten favorite horror romances. Let us know in the comments section if we missed yours!