Year: 2009

ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN. Seems innocent enough, right? It can't be bad telling from the title, can it? It involved dogs, one of my favorite animals and heaven? Heaven is a good thing, right?

WRONG.

I can't remember how old (maybe 7 or 9) I was when I saw this movie, but when I think about it, this one scene from near the end of the movie replays in my head: One of the dogs being dragged down to hell by this black demon things spurring out of the concrete. It scared the hell outta me and I couldn't watch it again.

Unfortunately, I was made to watch it again, when I was twelve or eleven. I was at a friend's house and I couldn't bear to watch it. I couldn't watch the poor innocent dogs get killed and be sent back and fourth between heaven and hell. That's a great thing to be showing kids, right? Dogs being killed only to be dragged down to the pits of hell. Riiight…

It's been years since I've seen the movie but it still sparks a bad feeling when I think about it. But I gotta know if I was the only one bothered by this movie or not.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Nope, you are not alone on this one… just ask Reader Miriam67.

Hey Aunt and Unk:

FAT ALBERT AND THE COSBY KIDS was always a main staple of Saturday mornings, with good ole' Albert becoming the moralistic voice of reason countering the bad decisions of his cronies.

"You shouldn't pick on little Ginny, just because she's deaf! Hey Hey Hey!"

But somewhere down the line, there was an episode where they just happened to wind up in a stolen car, and were given a tour of a Philadelphia prison in an attempt to be SCARED STRAIGHT by the police. I'm not kidding. I had read a post earlier this year about a gun violence FAT ALBERT episode. I would wager this came from the same "unsyndicated, no holds barred" season.

Does anyone remember how out of place and unsettling this was? Granted there was no profanity, but it was certainly not something for a 6 year old, and I doubt teenagers were the target audience of the show.

I remember my sister and I transfixed by this prison house of horrors as depicted in a trustworthy happy cartoon, listening to the cacklings and howls of the pedophiles and psychopaths.

When the psycho inmate lusts over Albert, "Mmm… give me the BIG one.." like he's some kind of plump New Year's ham, I think it sealed the deal that we were going to keep on the straight and narrow.

So I supposed it worked, Mr. COSBY; thanks for the nightmares!

All the best,

Bigwig

I really enjoy the site. Keep up the good work.

Anyhow, I suppose that as a young child, I was exceptionally sensitive and was repeatedly trauma'd by 1970s pop culture: the cover of the Queen album News of the World; those huge monsters that ate people on the MUPPET SHOW; the trailer for THE DEVIL'S RAIN (which ran before some thing much more mundane at the drive-in); and of course my cousin Roger's thoughtful description of PHANTASM which I really didn't understand but caused me to steal and bury my neighbor's silver sphere garden decoration.

However, I must (somewhat shamefully) admit that the mightiest trauma didn't come down until I was 12 or 13 years old. I was told by some of the older kids on the block that I should see this hi-larious movie called RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD. Now, I've seen the film a few times as an adult and it is pretty damned witty, but the kids on my block forgot to mention that the film could also be regarded as being UTTERLY HORRIFYING by a kid that was afraid of (certain) Muppets. I was doing O.K. until the "tar-man" zombie showed up. After that it was zero chuckles and pure white knuckles.

There was something about the RETURN zombies that really shook me up. These zombies were so much like living people that their acts of cannibalism seemed much more terrible. Freddy's slow transformation from loving boyfriend to brain-craving zombie really underscored the point. Further, although they were much more human than other zombies, they were essentially unstoppable, which made me feel helpless. Finally, they wanted to eat living human brains, which greatly bothered me for reasons that I still don't fully understand to this day.

My viewing of RETURN began a new phase in my life that lasted for years. I would not go near a cemetery and memorized the locations of every one in town so that I could plan my bicycle rides accordingly. Same with funeral homes, natch. Hospitals were nearly as taboo, as I knew that corpses were kept somewhere therein.

I was very uncompromising about my new extreme phobia. A friend of mine lived a couple of houses away from a cemetery, so he was scratched off my buddy list. My grandma lived near a gigantic military cemetery, and although I could not opt out, I counted the seconds until we left during each visit.

Nightmares about a full-scale zombie uprising were the norm. Looking back, these were really the catalyst that kept the trauma rolling along. I clearly recall waking from these night terrors covered in sweat and spending the rest of the night looking outside my bedroom window, anticipating the moment when that first decaying shambler would appear under the streetlights.

At some point my zombie-phobia simply faded and as I grew older I came to enjoy all things zombie. I'm sure a shrink could bill a few grand dissecting how I embraced my fears and wanted to connect with my childhood and blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, zombies have of late become so overexposed that for the first time in my life I'm becoming finding them to be somewhat boring….

Oh well. All good things must one day end.

Maybe I'll steal a decorative silver ball and bury it for old time's sake.

I just found your site today, and it's great.

Around 1987, when I was 5 years old, I have very distinct memories of being in the video store with my mother. I didn't look at the children's movies though. She would always find me in the horror section, looking at the back of the VHS movies. I remember one picture in particular, a woman in a bathtub holding a toaster. I'm thinking there had to be another picture, such as a leg sticking out of the tub, and the toaster was next to it, maybe. I have no idea what this movie was (I doubt I was a very good reader at 5 anyway), but I don't remember being scared of the picture, just interested. I enjoyed the back of other movies too; I do remember THE THING, MONKEY SHINES, and a movie about flesh eating ants. I'm pretty sure this is where my fascination with death began. I believe the term is death hag. I can view death pictures, like Nikki Catsouras, and there's no problem. It's pictures like the entry on MR. SARDONICUS that terrify me, to this day, at 26 years old.

Another thing that scared me to death was the cover of one of my mother's Simplicity Sewing magazines; I'm guessing from late ‘80s/early ‘70s. The picture was of a young woman with long brown hair (no bangs of course), her mouth was making a small O shape, and her hand was up in front of her. The fingers on her hand turned into a pair of scissors, a thimble…a little rolly wheel thing on her middle finger (this was in front of/below the O of her mouth). The mouth shape and the fact that her fingers "became" scissors is what scared me. Early Photoshop I guess. I would beg my mom to make that face and then it would freak me out and I would make her stop. Funny. I found that picture online once but unfortunately I can't find it again. I hope I find it before I have a kid so I can scare her with it.

Also the usual fare: Wicked Witch in the WIZARD OF OZ (actually, the monkeys), Chuckie, FIRE IN THE SKY, and IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS are the movies that really got to me, that I lost sleep over or slept with the light on. Today, of course, I love horror movies, esp. zombies. I think we can all agree the scariest part is when the characters lose the local T.V. and radio stations. At that point, you're on your own. The end is nigh, huh? This is why I keep a shotgun under my bed and drive an SUV.

I sure wonder about that toaster lady, though.