Year: 2020
Traumafession:: Rob M. on a Classic PSA
Probably my greatest trauma happened every day just before the ten o'clock news. I grew up in the late 70's/80's in the NYC suburbs. During this time, there was a lot of real life horror (Stranger Danger, Toxic Tylenol, Satanic Panic, Son of Sam, child abductions, AIDS, Drugs, Cold War etc). But I digress… imagine being in this environment and unexpectedly before every ten o'clock news intro… a still motion shot of a lone child riding a bike on a deserted side street illuminated by a street lamp. Then comes the voice over -> "It's 10pm. Do you know where your children are?" The person who provided the voiceover was the great Lou Steele. He was known as "The Creep" btw. I'd have to run out of the room every time it came on. The reason it scared me was because of the images it conjured in my head. "Does this person know something?" "Geez, kids are getting snapped up left and right". "Why do parents need to be reminded to check on their children?" And ultimately reminded me of the infamous "Have you checked the children?" from When a Stranger Calls. The spot, the voiceover and the current social climate all made this a fearful moment of my youth. They later added another spot at 7pm which asked the question "Have you hugged your child today?" That also felt kind of creepy too… just the idea that parents needed a reminder.
Thanks,
Rob
The Invisible Man (2020)
Remember when I was telling you a while back that I brought my friend who was going through a salty divorce to see BLACK CHRISTMAS (2019) hoping she'd find it cathartic but instead she found it silly and was left questioning my taste in cinema? Well, I've redeemed myself by taking the same troubled gal-pal to go see THE INVISIBLE MAN which left her all riled up, scrappy and pleasantly pissed off. Don't worry, even though THE INVISIBLE MAN could be accused of overtly allegorizing timely #metoo grievances, I think anyone who has struggled with a bully, psychological abuse or a general lack of having their perceptions taken seriously is bound to relate. Writer/director LEIGH (UPGRADE) WHANNELL does a herculean job of breathing new relevant life into one of UNIVERSAL's least potent (imo) classic monsters and the end result is an undeniable success. Of course, I could have used a tad more clarity when it came to addressing who was feeding and caretaking a certain family pet who is left alone for long periods of time but that's my issue. I'm just going to assume rich people always have a bevy of employees we never see and let it go (Note: I'm still wondering what happened to Deckard's faithful pooch in BLADE RUNNER 2049 and I may forever).
ELIZABETH MOSS delivers a raw, fearless performance as Cecilia Kass, a woman who finds death itself is not enough to keep her controlling psychotic stalker boyfriend at bay. You see, it looks like Cecilia's tormentor may have faked his own demise and (thanks to his deep pockets and optical expertise) has figured out a way to make his presence imperceptible to the naked eye. The gas-lighting goon doesn't mind sabotaging her career, trashing her relationships and painting her as a short-fused, child-abusing lunatic. MOSS gets to burn bright as a cornered victim with nothing left to lose swinging from pathetic to ferocious without breaking a sweat; her multileveled, virtuoso execution pretty much puts most recent Oscar nominees to shame and it's too bad it'll likely go unheralded. It doesn't hurt that MOSS's Cecilia is surrounded by equally compelling characters, from the kindly father/daughter team that take her in that you hate to see endangered (ALDIS HODGE and STORM REID) to her tough as nails sister Emily (HARRIET DRYER) who you can't blame for being immensely skeptic. Even her ex's slimy weasel brother (MICHAEL DORMAN) is perfectly despicable and a great joy to see taken down a few pegs.
Besides sharing DNA with your standard "blank from hell" nineties thriller and your favorite made-for-TV woman in peril flick, a large chunk of THE INVISIBLE MAN reminded me of good old CANDYMAN (sans the romance). The two films do somewhat mirror (!) each other in the way that the female leads are put through the wringer, wrongfully committed and left holding the bag, accused of their phantom's murders. No spoilers, but in both cases escape and redemption are only possible by adapting their menace's skills and becoming a righteous variation of the monster (I'd even say that both are sorta subversive superhero origin stories at heart). It's really been a long time since I've experienced a film with such a rousing and satisfying conclusion. Clever, compact and refreshingly to the point- this sleek sci-fi/horror/thriller hybrid like THE THING, THE FLY & INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS before it; joins an all too tiny club of relevant remakes that are equal to or even surpass their source material. What can I say? There's no better way to put it, THE INVISIBLE MAN is a must-see, simple as that.
Name That Trauma:: Ruben V. on a Tree Contraption Death
Hey there,
I stumbled upon your website the other day after seeing a Facebook post. I've been enjoying the content, and even found a few movies I may check out. I noticed that you, as well as your fans have a deep knowledge of horror flicks and I was wondering if you could possibly pin down a movie that I only remember one exact scene from, which is quite brief, but ill give it a shot. It was on TV I believe when I was a kid (early to mid '90s possibly) and all I remember is a man running in the woods away from something/someone. He then leans against a tree and a vice contraption goes over his eyes and squeezes them. I'm not sure if this is completely made up or an actual film, but if you possibly know of a film similar to what was described that would be great. Thank you for posting great content, and I will be continuing to follow your posts.
Take care
-Ruben V.
UNK SEZ: Thanks, Rubin! I'm glad you found us! I may be wrong but that sounds like the death of Eddie Kelso in FRIDAY THE 13th: A New Beginning. Strangely, I just watched that the other night! Check it out HERE and let us know if that's the case. Otherwise, we'll keep looking. If any of our readers can think of any other possibilities, please comment!
Name That Trauma:: Unk on a Pig-Faced Litterbug
I wasn't exactly a child when I saw this commercial but I'm going to write about it anyway. I'm hoping that maybe there's someone out there who has seen it as well and needs confirmation that they didn't imagine it. From what I recall this environmental PSA played frequently because that is exactly how it got permanently lodged in my head. I'm guessing it's from around 1990 because for some reason my memories of the year the eighties ended are especially vivid.
In the commercial you see a man looking up at the camera and I think he's sitting in some kind of black void to make things even more creepy and surreal. A woman's accusing voice bellows at him, "You're the one who throws trash out of your car window" (or something like that) and the guy's face changes a little and becomes slightly more pig-like. Then the woman accuses him of something else regarding pollution (maybe dumping garbage into the ocean) and his face becomes a little more pig-like. This happens several more times until the man has a total pig face. It's possible he turns into an actual pig at the very end.
In general, I find it absurd and ignorant when folks describe bad (and particularly human) behavior by comparing people to innocent animals. I've never met a pig but quit sure they are charming animals in real life. Having said that, the Dr. Moreau-style hybrid presented in this short ad was truly hideous and disturbing. I'll never forget how the woman's voice quivered with such exaggerated contempt as she barked at the guilty-looking monstrosity. After many years, I've never seen this spot pop up on YouTube and it may very well be an only East Coast-thing. Hopefully, someday I'll meet another human who has experienced this. It was so very weird that I'm surprised that I can't find a reference to it anywhere.
And that reminds me: When I was small and living in California my across the street neighbor had a poster hanging in his garage that said, "Hell yes, I male chauvinist Pig" and it was an image of a scary man on a motorcycle with an actual pig face so maybe my aversion to pig faces has a long history. I also remember being especially taken aback by the issue of Fangoria with MOTEL HELL on the cover.
Traumafession:: Richie C. on a Curse of Frankenstein Mask
Hi there, My big bro takes me to see Curse of Frankenstein with the immortal Christopher Lee in 57, maybe–I'm 6—and as a give-away they had masks of the monster with eye holes and an elastic band–I remember my brother wearing it after the movie and scaring the bajesus out of me, as up to that point it was the scariest image ever, followed shortly after by Mr Sardonicus, etc—anyway, my older brother doesn't remember the mask and I'm sure I'm not misremembering –do you or any of your fans remember such a mask?–thanks, love your site—ghoulishly yours, Richie
The Lodge (2019)
Hey, THE LODGE is a horror film with a chilly snowbound setting so how can it not be fun? I'll tell you how; it also happens to be one of those new-fangled emotionally torturous artsy flicks that make you feel like you're losing your mind. You know the drill, fifty percent of the audience is going to find it brilliant, the other half will claim it's boring and I'm going to end up hiding under a blanket tormented by suicidal thoughts and a feeling of incompleteness because I do not maintain an exact replica of my home in dollhouse form. Honestly, I don't need this bad mojo right now, mid-to-late February is not the time to be playing around with crazy-making, mind-fuck flicks concerning isolation, damnation, purgatory and pet death, especially when said movie's runtime is approximately forever-ish.
Don't get me wrong, THE LODGE is basically a masterpiece when it comes to delivering waves and waves of impenetrable unease but so is every social media site I'm actively trying to avoid. I get it, you win, THE LODGE! You successfully made me feel like garbage for three days and counting- are ya happy now? Maybe you should just change your name to "HEREDITARY, HOLD MY BEER" Folks, I can't tell you how many nineties-era sitcoms with jaunty theme songs I had to watch just to regain a thimble full of equilibrium.
THE LODGE concerns a family who (for reasons I'll never understand) celebrate Thanksgiving by hanging plastic roasted turkey ornaments outside and donning plastic roasted turkey hats. In other words, they are insane and are born to be insanity magnets and attract insanity wherever they go. Perhaps the only rational person presented is the mother played by the never lovelier, ALICIA SILVERSTONE who taps out of the nightmare universe this movie conjures as quickly as possible (via blowing her brains out). The empathy-free father decides a good way to celebrate Christmas with his two grief-stricken children is to force them into spending the holiday with his fiance/mistress who just happens to be the emotionally fragile, lone surviving member of a death cult- and her dog Grady who is clearly named after the psycho caretaker in THE SHINING. After a near-death experience on a frozen lake, pop gets a call from work and supposes it's totally cool to leave his children with someone they barely know and hold directly responsible for their mother's early departure from this mortal coil. One evening, the trio makes the questionable decision to watch THE THING (1982) and JACK FROST (1998) back to back and for their folly wake up trapped in a purgatory chuck full of eerie occurrences that may or may not be hallucinations and a nonstop parade of ominous omens.
There are a couple of images in THE LODGE that I will likely drag with me to the grave and I don't appreciate that. When it comes to choosing sides on the verdict of "boring" or "brilliant", I'm going to have to begrudgingly lean toward "brilliant" simply because there were times during this movie in which I feared I myself might be dead and I had to resist the urge to stand up and scream until I was assisted out of the building. That said, I can't imagine a scenario where I would ever subject myself to watching this movie again. It may have to be filed in the cursed movie file in my head along with DER TODESKING ('90) and V.I. WARSHAWSKI ('91). Then again, maybe I could watch this movie in the summer during a completely different mental state and find joy in its fragrant symbolism and wrecking ball pessimism. It should be said that that the performances in this movie are all top-notch. RILEY KEOUGH, as tortured Grace, compellingly rides a razor blade between sympathetic and off-putting and LIA McCUGH, as Mia, is heartbreaking and should be a shoo-in to play a young FLORENCE PUGH if there's ever a MIDSOMMAR prequel.
I ultimately give this movie props for mercilessly ruffling my psychological feathers just as it intended to but can't argue with anyone who finds it manipulative and heavy-handed as well. Love it or lump it, I think everyone can agree it's a painful watch and a kick in the shins reminder that perhaps the only order to this world is the order you construct yourself. Now I'm off to punish myself further by watching the hell that is JACK FROST. It's what I deserve. I must repent!
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