Happy Valentines Day from Kindertrauma!Here is a box of semi stale chocolates! Bite into TEN HORROR ROMANCES, creepy stalker CARDS and some ancient reviews for MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D, VALENTINE and the Valentine's Day set HOSPITAL MASSACRE! If you're looking for something really sweet how about watching some CANDYMAN? XXOO!
This trauma is not from my childhood, it's actually from earlier today but I wondered if you guys could help me anyway. I was in a restaurant and there was a black and white movie on the TV with the sound off. In the movie, a man is followed around by a woman and two children who stare at him with automaton blank looks on their faces. Eventually he turns into a smoldering silhouette of ashes at the bottom of an empty pool. The movie ends with several of these ash figures in the pool and then the pool fills with water that washes them away. I don't know what channel it was on but it's been bugging me all day. Any ideas?
Thanks,
— Pho22
I'm shocked by how much I enjoyed GRAVE ENCOUNTERS. I remember checking out the trailer a while back and shrugging. It even dared to have one of those "I'm screaming and now my mouth is stretching bigger than it should!" ghouls in it! Bah, and who needs another found-footage movie and the limited color palette that comes with? Andre from HORROR DIGEST was my canary in the coalmine. She watched it, survived unscathed and wrote a review about how it made her pee and poop her pants. That's all I needed to know to journey forward and so I checked it out one night and found it to be better than it had a right to be. It starts out very mundane with a guy explaining how the footage came into his possession but once the actual footage gets started, it's entertaining all the way.
GRAVE is titled after a ghost hunting program not unlike PARANORMAL STATE which your Aunt John has forced me to watch a zillion times against my will. I'm always complaining because nothing ever happens and the folks on the show are forced to act amazed by the flimsiest evidence. GRAVE works as a clever parody of such a show. There's a phony shit shoveling psychic and an amusing scene where the host pays off a gardener to lie through his teeth about his experiences. The "Grave Encounters" crew (who stand in dramatic, ready-for-action poses) is filming their sixth episode in an abandoned mental hospital that they will find out is indeed seriously haunted. What ensues, though never fully believable, is so fun and gleefully spooky that you'll feel like a kid running through a neighborhood haunted-house on Halloween. You know it's not real, but you can't help getting into the frenetic spirit anyway.
Not only are the shock scares surprisingly effective, but this movie also plays with your mind pretty good too. The asylum turns into a trippy maze of sorts and things get eerily surreal. The authentic setting, not unlike the one employed in SESSION 9 is an indisputably unnerving place. Unlike most films of this kind, the cast is exceedingly likable (particularly lead SEAN ROBERTSON) and are easy to empathize with. Some of the effects don't come off as well as they could, so the blurrier you can make your eyes by drinking alcohol while watching this, the better. There may be glitches scattered about but I think the overall exuberance on display overrides them. I ended up viewing it a second time so that Aunt John could check it out and now I like it even more. I don't mind telling you he jumped pretty high off the couch at one moment. GRAVE ENCOUNTERS is on Netflix Streaming, iTunes & Amazon so check it out; don't take it too seriously and don't be surprised if it ends up leaving you feeling inexplicably tweaked.
Hello all!
First of all, a big shout-out to the readers for helping me solve my last Name That Trauma about artist Laurie Lipton that I posted back in October.
My next query is also art-related. When I was around 9 years old (circa 1981), my family and I visited my 'hipster' uncle's house. He was always very avant-garde and into all sorts of art, music, and film. During our visit there, I came across a coffee-table book he had that was about a group of humanoid characters that were like colors personified. There was a yellow man, a red man, but the one that stuck out in my mind was an indigo man, mainly because I had never heard that word before. I don't remember much about the theme or the story of the book, but the paintings/drawings had such a surreal quality that they stick in my mind to this day.
I'd love to find out what the book was and the name of the artist, anybody? Bueller? Beuller?
—MD2112
UNK SEZ: How many horror remakes can you identify in the poster below???
Remember how we were just talking about how crummy the world would be without sequels? Well, I think it would be even worse without the even more maligned remake. Sorry, but some of my very best friends are remakes! There are many opportunities with remakes to expand upon ideas and to accomplish things previously impossible and, contrary to popular opinion, remakes do not have the power to jump in a time machine and assassinate the films they are based on and then steal their positions in the universe. So again, here comes a magic meteor to erase all remakes from existence! What a lesser world we'd be living in without the films below! (Feel free to add your favorites.)
THE THING (1982)
This one here is a no-brainer of course and please excuse me for stating the obvious. Sure, when this now beloved classic hit theaters most people were either not interested or saw is as a special effects laden insult to the longer titled, 1951 film based on JOHN W. CAMPBELL's "Who Goes There?" This movie is a fine example of why you should never take any critic's opinion as gospel. Sometimes greatness is particularly hard to identify because it walks so far ahead of the pack.
THE FLY (1986)
The original THE FLY (1958) will always be creepy fun but DAVID CRONENBERG was able to take a semi-hokey premise and graft upon it adult themes that would have never flown decades before. 1986's THE FLY oozes with visuals that the previous incarnation wouldn't dare imagine but it's also one the best relationship movies of any genre if you ask me.
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978)
Movies don't get much more brilliant than this and no it does not step on the toes of the 1956 predecessor in any way, shape or form. Those worried that substandard rehashes will mar the memory of superior source material take heart, nobody much recalls the 2007 pod people attack on NICOLE KIDMAN called INVASION.
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2003)
In my brain, TOBE HOOPER's TCM may be more of an absolute masterpiece than any of the films I've mentioned thus far. I don't think a film could capture horror in any purer form unless you could somehow get the Devil himself behind the camera. The 2003 version is nowhere near the same ballpark but for a mainstream flick sporting an attractive cast, it threw down the gauntlet and brought the ugly back. Over stylized though it may be, after years of clean-cut mall horror, its successful celebration of the sick, depraved and undoubtedly stinky hacked a path that allowed more aggressive horror to be made. Sure I could probably live without this one but could I live without all the films that were green-lit because of it? Nope.
MY BLOODY VALENTINE (2009)
Did this really happen? I'm still pinching myself. The original is one of my favorite slashers. I never dared dream that it would be remade or even remembered outside of nerdy horror circles. Not only was it made but it also stars TOM ATKINS and it's in 3-D. It even spurred a re-release of the original film on DVD with all of the deleted gore that I only ever fantasized about seeing returned. Oh yeah, it's a good movie too and I've watched it more times than I can count now. So let me make sure I've got the math right; this film brought back a favorite horror character (Harry Warden), actor (ATKINS) format (3-D sorry, haters) and resurrected the original film in its complete and intended form and it's entertaining as hell to boot. Yep, lots to bitch about here.
BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006)
A couple of years I ago I would have told you to stick this remake in a rocket and shoot it towards the sun but only after dousing it in turpentine first. Now I'm all obsessed with it. If I told you I watched it twice this past holiday season I lied. It was three times. Maybe I developed a sense of humor or maybe I realized that remaking BLACK CHRISTMAS ('74) wasn't quite the same thing as wallpapering over the Sistine Chapel. Who knew that when I searched my heart I would find that I had enough faith in the value of the original to believe it strong enough to withstand whatever was thrown at it? My childhood memories are not damaged, my life goes on as it did, except now I have this other really funny version of BLACK CHRISTMAS to enjoy every year along with the first.
THE RING/THE BLOB (2002/1988)
I like both these remakes better than the originals. I mean c'mon, among other things, the first RING has no NAOMI WATTS and the first BLOB is ruefully SHAWNEE SMITH-free. Nuff' said.
PSYCHO (1998)
I agree that this is a terrible, wretched remake but I do not agree that it should have never been made. What person interested in film would not want to at least try to sit through this failed experiment at least once? Watching a shot-for-shot remake with none of the original film's soul present or accounted for makes one appreciate the wondrous artistry that made the first film so dynamic. Plus if you want to fully grasp just what an incredible actor ANTHONY PERKINS was then, you need only observe a moment of VINCE VAUGHN. Sure it's torture but suffering leads to knowledge! Actually, I just had to put this up here to mortify those who might only be scanning the titles.
DAWN OF THE DEAD (2004)
I admit the holed up people in the mall are absolute morons for allowing that obvious zombie woman in the wheelbarrow into the place but that goof aside, this remake is non-stop cool from beginning to end. Truly, it leaves most zombie movies in the dust in its first fifteen minutes.
THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939)
I wonder if there were die hard fans of the 1910 take on FRANK L. BAUM's book that balked and cried when they heard there was going to be a fancy new fangled 1925 version. Did madly passionate fans of the 1925 version cringe and spew bile when they read on the Internet that a new version was being made in 1939? (Please, if you are now thinking of leaving a comment explaining to me that the Internet did not exist in 1925- don't do it, I beg you!)
It's a nice thing that fans are so passionate about their favorite films and it's a real shame that sometimes remakes don't turn out as good as they might. Still, I think people are a little nutso with how close-minded they can be and I wonder if maybe having their identity too wrapped up in stuff that they can't claim ownership of in the first place is the real problem. These movies belong to all of us and I don't mind my share being explored in new and different ways before I croak. You never know which ones are going to be excel and really nobody has the right to say there's no place like home until they're brave enough to journey somewhere else.
Hi hi! I first wrote to the Kindertrauma site in 2010 about "Night of the Lepus" and other films. (HERE)
I am writing again now for I recall someone, around that same time, trying to find out the name of a children's monster book that featured tons of worried monsters who all lived on the same street and were suspicious of their new neighbors who had just moved in…At the time I remembered having the book but it was on the other side of the country in storage at my parent's house so I couldn't remember the name of it or anything specific!
I am not sure if it has since been identified by others on the site, but…In case it hasn't I have just posted about it on my blog for I finally went back home and found it. The book is called 'Guess Who's Just Moved in Next Door?' It's by Colin McNaughton and it features tons of great monster drawings.
I hope this helps!
-CAP
UNK SEZ: Thanks very much Charles! That Name That Trauma from reader Kathryn (HERE) was never solved! Nice of you to remember!
Hello Kindertrauma,
I was wondering if you could help me piece together today's Traumafession – because I can't really find much in the way of screen caps or video clips online. I think you'll find that youtube has the entire movie up in several parts but nothing in the way of disembodied scenes.
Today I write to you of the 1988 comedy "High Spirits" starring Steve Guttenberg, Liam Neeson, Beverly D'Angelo, Daryl Hannah, Jennifer Tilly and the great Peter O'Toole. I believe Peter O'Toole to be one of the funniest movie men to come out of the 80s. The film "My Favorite Year" is as hilarious and quotable as "Caddyshack", "National Lampoon's Vacation" or "The Blues Brothers."
The movie is a fairly familiar haunted house story. O'Toole's Mr. Plunkett is the owner of an old castle in Ireland. He's decided to convert it into a bed & breakfast under the guise of being haunted in hopes to attract gullible tourists. However, once Plunkett and his staff start faking the phenomena – that's when the spirits of his dead relatives return from the grave to terrorize him for his wickedness!
There are several scenes in this film that make me wonder if the writiers didn't intend this to be a horror film before it was twisted and turned around by the studio into becoming a screwball comedy. Some things in here are really upsetting!
For example, several characters are chased by a pack of wild, ghostly nuns running down a hallway toward them! The nuns have black faces and glowing, red eyes (like the Jawas in "Star Wars").
In another scene – the staff is putting on a play set on the seas. Soon the audience is assaulted by forceful gusts of wind, flung spume and blown spray. The play's props become increasingly lifelike – ocean water, living birds, and worst of all – the very real tentacles of a terrible sea monster reach out into the crowd CAPTURING A YOUNG BOY AND PULLING HIM FROM HIS PARENTS AND INTO THE STAGE!
This movie – which all in all is a fairly decent comedy – ran on HBO a lot in the 1990s. I was able to commiserate with other kids on my block who had been exposed to the same horrors. I can't help but wonder if this film helped contribute to my irrational fear of cephalopods….From Hell.
—Drew B.
The movie "Little Monsters" was marketed as a kid's comedy movie. It was terrifying. Creepy monsters running around, monsters under your bed. Not to mention the main monster had the back of his HEAD OFF, SHOWING HIS BRAINS.
UNK SEZ: Nathan W. was kind enough to solve a Name That Trauma and now he has one of his own!
I remembered seeing it on the ABC Afterschool Special (I think…). All I remember is a boy is running down a boat dock being chased by an animated weird bat. The boy trips and tries to fight it off. I'm sorry if it is too vague but that is all I remember…
