Author: unkle lancifer

After the phenomenal success of JOHN CARPENTER's HALLOWEEN in 1978 horror movies began to fall from the sky. Eventually FRIDAY THE 13TH was released in 1980 and steered nearly all of the wannabes into a specific bloody direction, however there was a small bubble of time before FRIDAY (call it Thursday) where filmmakers scrambled to create something new and modern but still had one foot planted in traditional horror constructs. SILENT SCREAM, THE UNSEEN, and FUNERAL HOME are all post-HALLOWEEN fare that (sometimes to their detriment) relied more on mood and creepy characters than gore.

Gothic mansions, hidden family secrets or the simple device of having a young woman in the house alone was chilling enough for this crew and, in some instances, audiences yet to develop a hankering for carnage agreed. These are the horror movies you often hear referred to now as "boring" (let me throw later films 1982's UNHINGED and 1981's MADHOUSE into that pile as well), but for me they have always hit a quiet nerve. Cribbing just as much from PSYCHO as HALLOWEEN they all tend to share a mistrust of older generations and antiquated ways and fittingly end up as stylistic clashes between "modern" and "classic" horror as well. Too gruesome to appeal to one group, too restrained to appeal to the other, these chillers tend to fall through the cracks.

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which takes place in the early eighties, successfully captures the mood and pace of horror films of that time to a tee. In fact, any and all criticisms against it can just as easily be labeled as further proof of its accuracy. Heck, even its few time period slips (did I hear a car alarm?) seem like the type of harmless flub you'd expect to find in a low budget film of that era. I have a feeling that many modern viewers are going to have a hard time with this one, but as for myself, I have to admit to loving every minute. It's front heavy with loads of set-up, its core consists of a girl meandering around a mansion giving herself the creeps (frankly I could have watched a two hour documentary on the incredible house this was filmed in alone) and it's hard earned climax feels like a hit and run, but what can I say, I ate it up.

I liked how director TI WEST's previous effort THE ROOST lovingly wore its horror fandom on its sleeve, but it ultimately left me cold and unconvinced, with THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL though, there's just too much glorious atmosphere and too many interesting performances to ignore. Maybe I'm a glutton for nostalgia but the only thing I found missing was a personal dedication to myself in the closing credits admitting that the entire concept and all the casting choices were stolen from my dream journal.

Relative new comers JOCELIN DONAHUE and GRETA GERWIG are perfectly cast as pretty, but still from this planet, screamers, DEE WALLACE is the landlady I've dreamt of all my life, and TOM NOONAN and MARY WORONOV are simply, can't take your eyes off them, arresting in every way. Really just seeing those latter two in the same room together was worth the $9.99 I spent watching this on pay-per-view. Again this movie is not for everyone (I know Aunt John was put off by the abrupt close), but if you are the type who has painstakingly tried to watch every film made in the time period this is set in, it's pretty much like discovering an old VHS tape that had fallen between the shelves at your local mom and pop video store. It may not have the power to recruit new followers for this type of film, but die hard eighties horror buffs should consider THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL a genuine blast from the past.

2003's WRONG TURN may have not set the world on fire, but for many horror fans it was a welcome return to grittier, gorier terrain after years of clean cut thrills. Mere months after it exited theaters, the TEXAS CHAINSAW reboot would sweep in to gather all the glory, but for those fortunate enough to catch it during its poorly advertised run, WRONG TURN was the first sign that the hills were no longer alive with the sound of muzak. Home video caught stragglers up to speed and by the time WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END was delivered in 2007, a welcoming audience was waiting for a second course.

What horror fans could not possibly be prepared for was the fact that WT2, a straight to DVD venture starring HENRY ROLLINS and involving a phony reality show was (holy crap) actually pretty awesome. Whatever drop in quality there may have been from the first film was made up for with shear ingenuity, buckets of blood and a too rare awareness of what makes a horror film fun. Suddenly from a theatrical film that barely made a dent, it looked like a worthwhile series could be forming…

Well, there's a bit of a roadblock now in the WRONG TURN franchise and it's called WRONG TURN 3: LEFT FOR DEAD. Unless it was solely created to point out just how rare a treat PART 2 was, PART 3 of WRONG TURN fails wildly. After a lively opening scene that had me wishing that those handling the reigns of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise were watching and taking notes, it's pretty much a downhill downer whose mantra seems to be, "Less, less, less!" Let me tell ya' something DECLAN O'BRIEN, director of WRONG TURN 3, if you can't keep yours truly's attention with a bus load of burly escaped convicts then there's more than one mentally handicapped mutant in them there woods (the other would be you). Geez, if I have to see another movie where constant bickering and bellyaching passes as dialogue, I'm going to throw my television set out the window. What am I watching here, THIRTYSOMETHING? (Actually Hope and Michael Steadman could have beat the crap all of the "hardened" criminals featured in WT3)

Whatever your fears may be of renting a direct to DVD sequel, they are all fully realized here. The writing is snorable, the acting is mostly horrible (main guys TOM FREDERIC & TOM McKAY are decent enough even when forced to deliver a regrettable epilogue) and the special effects, which a film like this could have ridden on, look outlandishly amateurish and hobbled by CGI. Most mind blowing of all is a reliance on what looks like ancient blue screen for almost all of the shots involving a moving vehicle. Seriously I haven't seen anything this bad since Granny rode on top of the car in THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES.

This could be a worthwhile rental if you are looking for something to rip to shreds with your friends and have a desire to throw emptied beer cans at the screen but, as a follow-up to the first two films, it's a bit of an embarrassment and a definite wrong turn in an otherwise promising series. Poor "Three Fingers," you deserve more!

I love horror movies! That's why when I went to the movies this past Friday I skipped past the theater marquee that read THE STEPFATHER and planted my Sour Patch Kid chompin' ass down to see WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE in the theater next door! I might have given THE STEPFATHER a chance except for the fact that I accidentally brought a gun with me and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to resist blowing my brains out as soon as the movie started. Also, I'm sure everyone is familiar with my motto, "Never judge a movie until you've seen it…unless the director of that movie is the guy responsible for the remake of PROM NIGHT." Besides WILD THINGS looked like tons of fuzzy fun and, at least once a year, I like to feel happiness.

Did I get my fun? Yep, but I also got this super moving experience I won't soon forget. How's come this movie that stars a bunch of monsters seems to deliver more human emotion than most non-monster starring movies I know? I sure hope my fellow moviegoers saw me blowing my nose into my hoodie sleeve when the credits were rolling because that is my new way of saying giant thumbs up!

You can probably tell from the trailer that, thankfully, WILD THINGS was not turned into a homogenized hand holder that teaches you to be all in love with yourself and that winning is about believing and that dreaming is about winning and hooray for you because you win! Strangely it's not even all, "Hey, you're really ugly, but that makes you different and the world would be really boring if everyone was good looking, so thanks for not boring us ugly"!

WILD THINGS is not only unafraid to accurately depict the troubling and confusing loneliness that sometimes invades childhood, but also the complicated idiosyncratic nature of human (and monster) relationships that causes that loneliness. Really, doesn't it just suck that needing somebody is exactly the type of thing that will make you act up (go wild) and scare that somebody away? WILD THINGS also had me asking myself the most important life question of all: "Why can't CATHERINE O'HARA star in everything?"

Whoever's idea it was to hire SPIKE JONZE to direct this movie needs to wear a gold crown on their head. Here is a place we have never gone before and the creatures, a combination of practical effects with a light gloss of CGI, come off as superbly convincing. The voice work is nearly too good be true with the likes of my hero LAUREN AMBROSE, super stud FOREST WHITAKER and snuggle bunny JAMES GANDOLFINI lending tonsil. MAX RECORDS, as Max, gets a "You're not annoying" sticker and don't get me started on the mom I'd never run away from…CATHERINE KEENER.

Some folks might be off put by the movie's mellow drifty attitude, but I found it kind of relief not to be yanked around from scene to scene by the lapels. There is so much texture and detail here that future visits are unavoidable. If you are too poor to afford a down comforter, go see this movie instead. It's basically the same thing.

Q: Will kids be entertained?

A: Only the ones worth keeping.

Parents, heed my word, take all your children to see this and the ones that don't like it or fall asleep, just leave in the theater; you don't want those ones. I'm so keen on this flick I'm even going to throw out a Bloody Disgusting inspired blurb! "It's the hairiest movie of all time!"

I gotta go now, MUMMY 3 (TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR) is on HBO and they just called forth the Yeti!