kindertrauma

Author: unkle lancifer

Future-Trauma:: Frayed

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Your Unkle Lancifer is getting very excited about seeing FRAYED which will be released on DVD August 25th. FRAYED has been getting some excellent reviews and word of mouth and just check out its trailer; a psychotic kid who becomes a crazed clown? How kindertraumatic is that? We're going to try to get our hands on a screener A.S.A.P. so we can tell you more, but in the meantime, watch the clip below. It looks like an old school, suspense driven, straight forward slasher; sign me up!

NOTE: You can visit the official website for FRAYED right HERE!

Trauma-Shots :: Flash Gordon

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I had to write something about 1980s FLASH GORDON eventually; it's not the first movie that comes to mind when you think about childhood traumas, but when has that ever stopped us before? Thankfully, I was able to justify this post when I came across a thread on IMDb concerning FLASH's more troubling scenes and the effect they had on young viewers. That was all the incentive I needed but truth be known, I would have come around to the topic of FLASH at some point anyway, on account of it being the most beautiful movie ever made.

Quote me on that. I'm unashamed. It has been nearly thirty years since I first saw FLASH GORDON in the movie theater and miraculously it still gives me compulsory goose bumps. To this day, It still melts my heart like a summer popsicle with its gosh-golly outdated optimism and unhip exuberance.

Did I just hear somebody say "corny"?

Yep it's true, FLASH GORDON is just chuck full of corny ideas, like the one about the disenfranchised putting aside their differences in order to topple an oppressive dictator and the one about how art not only has the power to nurture the human spirit but also armor it (at least that's what I got out of Zarkoff's reciting of Beatles lyrics in order to stop from having his brain emptied "like a pocket" by dominatrix Kala)

Then there is the hokey idea that someone might sacrifice themselves for the greater good just cause it's the right thing to do, and who can forget the kooky idea that true love has the power to make a guy choose gal next door MELODY ANDERSON over gal next galaxy ORNELLA MUTI?

FLASH GORDON shows us an upside down dimension where old birds are given second chances, enemies are transformed into allies and folks cheer you on from the sidelines (go Flash go!) a place where "keeping your word" is a point of pride ("It's what makes us better than you.") Silly ideas all, in this day and age, but in FLASH's universe, these are absolute no-brainers.

At this point in time when heroes need to be conflicted and broody to be made more accessible or appear more "adult", FLASH continues (in this version anyway), to stand as a pure spirit undaunted by the shackles of cynicism and misanthropy, a messiah who has no problem deciphering the difference between good and evil and no dilemma about which to choose. (In other words, BATMAN why the hell ARE you so freakin' serious?) Don't get me wrong kids, I dig my dark but man cannot live by bread alone…think of the carbs.

O.K. I know I've been gushing a bit but that's enthusiasm folks, doesn't it smell like cotton candy? We're really supposed to be talking about the scary side of FLASH GORDON and there is plenty to choose from. If you push back the lava lamp clouds we got a flick with some big love for skull masks and a fetishistic soft spot for military uniforms, gas chambers, incestuous voyeuristic torture and…yikes, bore worms! Without further ado, here's some trauma-shots of FLASH GORDON!

House of Voices

Posted on By unkle lancifer

After finally seeing PASCAL LAUGIER's MARTYRS I had to check out his earlier work. I soon discovered that his debut feature film SAINT ANGE was released on DVD as HOUSE OF VOICES and that it was readily available. Slipping the disc into the player I felt a tinge of excitement at the prospect of having no idea of what was in store for me. My first surprise as I began watching the film was the slow realization that I had actually seen it before. This wasn't an "Oh, crap!" type of recognition, but more of confusing state of déjà vu (how French!). Why have I completely forgotten about this film? If I recalled correctly, I kinda sort of dug it.

Well, I dug the beginning anyway, because midway through I realized I was in uncharted territory. Something had stopped me from finishing this movie the first time I saw it. Did I fall asleep? Was I distracted by a phone call? Did a fire alarm go off? If I went by the consensus of IMDb commenters then I must have fallen asleep. Most of those who cared to review HOUSE OF VOICES sum up the experience as being "boring." Well, I don't know if I'd go that far, although its tone, dreamy, ethereal and sometimes frustratingly ambiguous does have a rather drowsy effect and its pacing well, let's just say it's more turtle than hare.

If you have seen JUAN ANTONIO BAYONA's THE ORPHANAGE or JUAME BALAGUERO's FRAGILE (both of which were released after H.O.V.) then you have a general idea of what kind of food they serve in this restaurant. It's set in the olden timey days and the big monster building centerpiece is really just a blown up model/map of the neurotic heroine's booby-trapped mind. Like a Victorian ghost story it is more concerned with creating an uncanny atmosphere that subtly unsettles than clobbering the viewer with blasts of the grotesque. If you dig vague, vapory ghost tales this is your jam, if you dig giant robots that turn into cars bring a noose.

Which is not to say that HOUSE does not have a few well-timed jolts. The opening scene in particular had me nervously loosening an invisible tie that I don't wear. What really separates HOUSE from the two Spanish language films I mentioned is that much like he did in MARTYRS, director LAUGIER throws a cinematic curve ball toward the end that seems cut and pasted from another film entirely. The director has stated that he was inspired by the thought of making an unofficial sequel to LUCIO FULCI's THE BEYOND, an awesome idea, even though it comes across more like a mash up of JANE EYRE and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND.

It is clear after watching both LAUGLER films that this is a director who refuses to spoon feed his audience (and is strangely fearful of subterranean science labs), just as in MARTYRS, HOUSE OF VOICES leaves much open to interpretation. It is an incredibly gorgeous looking film as well, which I have to admit, for me, goes an embarrassingly long way. I don't think I'd recommend this movie to the casual viewer, but if you are a fan of slow burners about crazy people running away from their own self-devouring heads, or if you love saying; "What the, huh?" as the film credits roll or even if you're just curious about LAUGIER's pre-MARTYRS work, I say give it a try. Maybe just have a cup of joe first.

The Orphan (2009)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's no secret that I love a good killer kid flick but with the exception of TOM SHANKLAND's THE CHILDREN (‘08), they have been pretty scarce of late. Kids do show up often in modern horror but for the most part, they have been hollow-eyed window dressing propped up to utter Cassandra-like warnings or just plain ineffectual, weightless ghouls. It's about damn time somebody stripped the supernatural out of the equation and introduced a killer kid who cuts through the bullshit and gets the job done. The tag line for THE ORPHAN may read "There's something wrong with Esther," but for those thirsty for a new horror icon, there's absolutely nothing wrong with Esther at all.

You might think reading this review on a website called Kindertrauma might mean that I was an easy target for THE ORPHAN and that essentially in my case, the filmmakers were preaching to the converted. There may be some truth to that, but let me say that after learning the film was being delivered by DARK CASTLE ENTERTAINMENT I was cautiously un-optimistic. DARK CASTLE has provided snippets of worthy horror but they usually have a chronic ability to screw up their films by trying way too hard. What should be a straight forward affair usually ends up a convoluted heap of kitchen sink half-thoughts resembling a late in the game KATAMARI DAMACY ball. THE ORPHAN carries little baggage besides a water cooler ready, ace up its sleeve, and it is all the better for it. God bless its adherence to the K.I.S.S. principle (Keep it simple stupid!) and its highly unfashionable patience.

Taking structural cues from domestic disturbance television flicks and early nineties usurper porn (a shout out to my peeps Peyton Flanders and Hedy Carlson!), THE ORPHAN bravely discards the typical pandering bells and whistles (AUNT JOHN SEZ: Do you mean ta-tas?) used to glamour (in the TRUE BLOOD sense) teenage boys and gets right down to some seriously trashy campadelic partying. That it is able to provide actual acting opportunities to its adult cast in the meantime is just that much more impressive. It's by no means a seamless masterpiece, and logic is not so much leaped over as jet-packed over, but there's no way around the fact that you get your money's worth here.

I don't care how much cash this baby hauls in or how many knee jerk, dismissive reviews it accumulates, even if it has to gain its reputation in the home market, I assure you that THE ORPHAN is here to stay, be it by go-to punchline, S.N.L. skit or SIMPSONS TREEHOUSE OF HORROR reference, Esther is going to wedge the heal of her Buster Browns into the public consciousness for good. Even if the general public turns their back there is no way the gays are going to drop this ball. Drag queens, practice your Russian accent, October is only a few months away!

P.S. Commit this name to your memory: ISABELLE FUHRMAN!

UPDATE: A little added incentive to go see THE ORPHAN while it's still in theaters…

Kindertrauma Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: It's Friday and time for a brand spanking new edition of Kindertrauma Funhouse! Here are ten random images from ten horror movies, how many can YOU identify?

Kindertrauma Jukeox:: MGMT – Kids

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: I've been listening to MGMT a bunch in the back yard this summer (where I recently suffered a near fatal kitten attack!), but I had never seen any of their videos. That just changed thanks to my visiting fellow LOTT D blogger Brad's cool site I LOVE HORROR. Thanks Brad, for turning me on to this very kindertraumatic video! Kids, you can visit Brad HERE!

Official Traumatizer :: Reverend Henry Kane

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Isn't it time that the character of Reverend Henry Kane was made an Official Traumatizer? He has been spoken of several times before on these here pages (for example: THIS early traumafession from kinder-pal Ralphus), and he is likely to appear many times again. Not bad considering he owes his existence to one much maligned sequel (POLTERGEIST 2: THE OTHER SIDE) and one even more maligned sequel (POLTERGEIST 3.) Regardless of the end result of either movie, Kane persists and even those who talk smack about POLTERGEIST 2 have to admit that his presence, (especially the scene where he tries to gain entrance to the Freeling's home) is supremely memorable. His staying power is even more impressive when you consider that different actors portrayed the character in each film (JULIAN BECK in PART 2, NATHAN DAVIS in PART 3 with voice assist by an uncredited COREY BURTON.)

Undoubtedly, the more indelible take on Kane is the introductory one provided by poet/painter/theater legend JULIAN BECK in POLTERGEIST 2: THE OTHER SIDE. BECK was suffering from colon cancer during the filming, which might partially explain an authentic aura of illness and decrepitude that hangs over the character. Unfortunately BECK died before the film was completed and Kane's final assault on the Freeling clan was in the form of a special effects driven creature known as "THE BEAST" designed brilliant by H.R. GIGER, but poorly executed within the film. (Check out some of GIGER's amazing work for POLTERGEIST 2 HERE.)

POLTERGEIST 2 may have left some fans disappointed by replacing the original's roller-coaster vibe with a pungent cloud of morbid navel gazing, but it's not without its effective moments. One should not allow its corny "Grandma angel" conclusion to erase the well-orchestrated set pieces involving Kane. The reverend's shopping center overture towards the young Carol Anne (HEATHER O'ROARKE) is, quite simply, every parent's (and every child's for that matter) nightmare.

I've always been a bit confused by the term "interesting failure," if something is interesting then, in my book, it cannot be considered a failure. Take POLTERGEIST 3 for example; sure, it's a hot mess but I can't get enough of it. I know it's about as subtle as a Tourette's sufferer with a bullhorn and more annoying than a local theater production of ANNIE and yet I adore its over the top clumsiness and am fascinated with its physical effects and mirror-play. (Plus director GARY SHERMAN, DEAD AND BURIED, VICE SQUAD, just sort of rules.) Kane's presence here is more of a spectral trickster with the power to alter reality than the evil JIM JONES messiah of PART 2, but he is still a great stand in for the grim reaper and he can still work that hat.

NOTE: The above picture, which inspired this post, was sent by our pal Dave over at the exhaustively informative site POLTERGEIST III. It is from the originally filmed ending of PART 3 (notice a frozen Carol Anne in the background.) Check out Dave's awesome reconstruction of that lost scene HERE.

Reverend Henry Kane's identity as a horror icon was hard won but thanks to repeated television airings of the POLTERGEIST sequels, home video, DVD and the power of the Internet he has gained some pretty secure footing as a titan of terror. He has appeared on an album cover for the band ANTHRAX, made a cameo in the SOUTH PARK episode "Imaginationland" and even shows up to fight in the game MORTAL COMBAT. With his lanky frame, sinister persona and predatory disposition, he is the rightful heir to one point in a horror troika that also includes PHANTASM's TALL MAN and the ever popular FREDDY KRUEGER. His sickly, debilitated appearance gives rise to primal fears of aging and death, while his slithery soft tone and toothy grimace evoke memories of the candy-baiting creepy stranger we were all warned about in our youth. Upping the fear quotient further is the fact that Kane was once a beloved leader of a religious flock who twisted his disciples' faith to cause their own ruin. He represents the unrepentant fanatical zealot, a figure that can partake in evil and never suffer the arrows of self-doubt or feel remorse. He's not evil…YOU are! What's scarier than that?

If you are still not convinced that reverend Kane deserves the honor of "Official Traumatizer" imagine this; your doorbell rings RIGHT NOW, you open your door to find him standing there, smiling from ear to ear. He says, "Let me in." When you say, "No" he screams "You're all gonna die!" I don't know about you but, I just succeeded in creeping myself out. Now THAT'S a Traumatizer!

Kindertrauma Funhouse

Posted on By unkle lancifer


Here are ten random picks from ten different movies. I started out with a theme "local yokels," but I kind of sort of lost my fokels. I mean focus. How many of these ten random images can you identify?