kindertrauma

Author: unkle lancifer

Name That Trauma :: Reader Molly T. on NOT Salem's Lot & Maybe NOT Mr. Boogedy

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Great site! I grew up being fascinated by horror flicks – when my parents would take me to the movie rental store, rather than heading for the "kiddie" movies, I'd head right for the STEPHEN KING and gore. With all those years of scaring myself to tears, it's a wonder I cannot figure out where this particular scene came from:

There is a vampire of some sort, floating in a cloud-like mist, next to a boy's bedroom. Now before you say this is SALEM'S LOT, I can assure you that this boy did NOT open the window to let the vampire in. Rather, he broke a cross off of a (Lego) set that was near the window and used it to try to ward off the vampire.

Where in the world did this come from?

I have another scene in my head, which I thought was from the movie MR. BOOGEDY, but maybe it's not. I thought it was from that movie because I seem to remember a sort of "Boogie man" (who maybe had a hole in the side of his head?), standing in a family's living room, shooting some sort of powers out of his hands and making things go berserk – one thing in particular was, he made a vacuum cleaner "blow up" like a balloon and float to the ceiling, with the little boy holding onto it, not being able to get down.

Any ideas on this one?

UNK SEZ: A Lego crucifix you say? I don't recall seeing that in a movie, but it's a great tip none the less. Maybe one of readers can recall such a thing. As for the second film you mentioned, I think you actually ARE thinking of MR. BOOGEDY, there is a vacuum present in that movie's last scene (MR. B. ends up sucked inside it) and a kid does float to the ceiling at one point and has to be yanked down. It doesn't look to me that it is the vacuum cleaner that begins to levitate, but check out the climax of MR. BOOGEDY below and see if it looks at all familiar:

If anyone knows the answer to the first one, please leave a comment or shoot us an e-mail.

Official Traumatizer :: Jason Voorhees

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey look at the date, it's Friday the 13th!!! What a great day to make Jason Voorhees, Camp Crystal Lake's resident bad boy an Official Traumatizer! There is not much I can say about Jason that hasn't been said elsewhere, but what I can do is tell you about my own first experience with the film FRIDAY THE 13TH and my original introduction to the little mongoloid boy named Jason Voorhees.

Little Unkle Lancifer was too young to go see the first FRIDAY THE 13th in the movie theater, but thanks to FAMOUS MONSTERS magazine I was well aware of its existence. (Although to be accurate, I was at least partially confusing it with another film, 1979's THE ORPHAN). My eldest brother, who I imagined at the time had the most fulfilling existence imaginable, WAS old enough to check out this intriguing and mysterious movie which he did as far as I recall, as soon humanly possible.

Now, unlike myself, my older brother is not a light touch when it comes to horror. In fact, it was a badge of honor for him to return from a film and declare himself unfazed and unimpressed by what he had seen on the screen. His attraction to the genre appeared to me to be more as if he were accepting some unsaid dare. He was out to prove that he could withstand anything presented to him and I was sure at the end of the day he would much rather be watching BRUCE LEE.

My usually too cool for school older brother returned from FRIDAY THE 13th in a state in which I had never seen him. He was flushed, he was amped and he was absolutely beside himself. It was if he had just witnessed a train crash and was still working through the adrenaline that was coursing through his body. He was literally stunned and therefore I was too, stunned that there was something so scary that it could leave my roughneck, ninja-star throwing sibling in such a state.

Eventually I grew up to be the kind of film spaz that will go ballistic if a movie is ruined for me even slightly. I'm the jerk that won't enter a theater if I think I've missed 30 seconds of the opening and I am known to drive normal people insane with my excessive use of "pause" and "rewind" at home. At this young age though, for all I knew, my only chance to experience FRIDAY THE 13th would be vicariously through my brother so I demanded he tell me everything he could remember of what he had witnessed.

Uncharacteristically, my brother fulfilled my request and regaled every detail from the opening jeep murder to the closing credits. I was mesmerized from start to finish as images both titillating and horrifying passed through my young head. Some might describe FRIDAY's plot as slight or even non-existent but, due to my own verbal introduction to the happenings of Crystal Lake, to me it will always skew closer to one of the greatest campfire stories/legends ever told. At this point in my life (and maybe it's due to the fact that I was ruefully born with only one foot in reality) I took the events told to me as gospel. When he eventually described little Jason's final exodus from the murky bottom of the lake my jaw hit the shag carpet.

Not very much later a VCR appeared in our living room. Our family was one of the first in our neighborhood to be graced with one (don't feel too bad for those other kids on the block, they all had that amazing invention called "cable" which we could only dream of). Wow. The idea of watching a WHOLE movie in your home whenever you wanted… what a luxury! Not surprisingly, one of the first tapes I had to get my grubby hands on was FRIDAY THE 13TH; now I could finally see what all of the hubbub was about and watch the vaporous story in my head transform into something permanent and concrete on the television screen.

I am happy to say that I was not even remotely disappointed. I could not believe I was getting a chance to eavesdrop and spy on this incredible universe full of denim cut-offs, strip Monopoly and bloody decapitations. If this was what being older was going to be like, sign me up I thought. I'm sure actually being systematically butchered by an unseen presence probably bites the big one in real life, but to me, at the time, it seemed like a great way to spend a Friday night. As LYNN REDGRAVE used to say, "This is Living!"

Having already heard the entire story from my brother you would think that I would be completely prepared for the film's shocker ending, but poor dense me was still taken off guard. I knew Jason was at some point going to rise from the lake, but I had foolishly thought that there would be some kind of build up to such a thing. As Alice (ADRIENNE KING) put her hand into the reflecting water of Crystal Lake, I was pretty sure young Jason was a few scenes away and I instinctively assumed that a JAWS like score would warn me of that danger approaching. No such luck, as Jason jumped out of the lake I jumped out off the couch. I simply had no defense in regards to FRIDAY THE 13TH and I loved the freefall feeling it injected me with, like being on a sled and knowing the ride wasn't over until the sled said it was over.

No matter how securely the original FRIDAY embeds itself within our culture (Let's face it folks, it's here to stay), for some reason, it has always been able to squirm its way out of receiving all the respect that it rightfully deserves. The critical among us can fault the direction, but the reality is that FRIDAY accomplishes everything it sets out to do and then some. One could fault it for being derivative or slap-shot, but dozens of films have tried to duplicate its sense of place and atmosphere and failed miserably. You can even gripe that there is little in the way of characterization, but personally I don't need to know that much about a person to assume that they don't deserve (or appreciate) an axe splitting their skull in two. You can pile up all the knee jerk dismissals you like, but there is a reason why so many return to this movie again and again throughout their lives.

Jason works and Jason has always worked. Those of us who were introduced to him in our youth eventually do master some control over our fear of him, but we're still his bitches all the same. Like many slasher films, FRIDAY is, at its heart, a campfire story and campfire stories not only do not require the fundamental elements that create great literature to work, but actually are hobbled by such useless chaff. It is meant to scare you, to leave you feeling unsafe, to make you think twice about that twig that just snapped. It's meant to cast a spell over you that alters your perception to the point that the world around you suddenly seems unfamiliar and fraught with potential danger. It's meant to be fun, a giddy first dance with death; a way to take the anxieties associated with the approaching seductive freedoms of adulthood and milk them for all they are worth. I'm glad that my first FRIDAY THE 13TH movie actually took place in my own head thanks to my older brother's surprisingly good storytelling skills, but let's face it, my brother had some excellent material to work with; Jason Voorhees is a potent legend and a born Traumatizer.


WANT MORE JASON?

Traumafessions :: Reader Mickelodeon on Fembots, Sleestaks, Sesame Street And Doctor Who

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Even today, I can barely bring myself to utter more than the names of these things that terrified me as a child, lest I begin screaming and crying for my teddy bear:

There's no way I can quantify these and put them in order of terrifying-ness, because they all scared the shit out of me.

But one -another one from SESAME STREET, no less- needs explanation: it was an animated bit, where a rock-like "IF" fell to the earth, with some truly terrifying music playing in the background. I think the music is from 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, but I'm not 100% sure of that. I've looked for this on youtube and have had no luck tracking it down to see if it still scares me the way it did. Talk about terrifying; I'm still not a huge fan of the musical piece.

And thank God I didn't know about JON PERTWEE's DOCTOR WHO and his autons back when I was but a wee girl, or they would have won hands down as most terrifying…Christ almighty.

UNK SEZ: Mickelodeon, that 2001 animated bit freaked the hell out of me too! In fact, after a traumafession from our pal AMANDA BY NIGHT on that crazy bouncing "Rover" ball from THE PRISONER, yours truly left this comment:

Rover does freak me out. It's so otherworldly and surreal. They used to have an ongoing bit on THE ELECTRIC COMPANY that gave me the same feeling. It was a take off on 2001 but having not seen that film at the time I had no idea. It was just a cartoon of a monolith that broke apart revealing different words. The one that haunted me was "ALL". It hurt my little brain to think of "ALL"

I can't find that one but here is the one for "ME" which is equally unsettling and hurts my slightly larger brain…

I don't know why a shape would give me the willies, but it's so out of place and unusual (Rover is the same way) that it just feels like there is some larger force at work that you can't get your head around. Sort of like a house pet's response to a vacuum cleaner.

As it turns out these animated monolith bits were shown on both SESAME STREET and THE ELECTRIC COMPANY! SESAME STREET aired two different shorts and THE ELECTRIC COMPANY had nine. All that means is that as a kid back in the seventies, there was virtually no escape from Monolith horror!

To read more by Mickelodeon, be sure to check out her site Strange Cousin Susan.

Traumafessions :: PhantomofPulp on "The Astral Traveler" from Lost in Space (Season 2, Episode 13)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

As much as I loved the idea of monsters when I was six years old, I wasn't prepared to meet "Angus".

LOST IN SPACE screened on Sunday afternoons in Australia in 1968, and I was hooked on the show. I don't think I caught every episode when it was first showing, but when I did, I loved it.

In "The Astral Traveler", Will Robinson is trapped in a cave and whisked back in time to a Scottish castle on Earth. Lost and panicked, he stumbles into an area of the castle that houses a dark, stinking lagoon. Something is sloshing around beneath the surface of the lagoon, but we don't know what. The apprehension I felt waiting for that "something" to emerge from the water was beyond the limit of my six-year-old brain. When a shambling, whaling, disgusting THING dragged itself up from the depths emerged and began to chase Will, I experienced my first dose of unadulterated terror. Later in the episode, a Scotsman named Hamish, who was much less scary than the monster, explained that the monster's name was "Angus."

The monster had a name?

How could a monster have a name?

On top of the fact that Angus looked hideous, his wailing, which had a scary echo added to it, resonated in my virgin eardrums for years. I'd never heard anything so horrible. Even today, few sounds are the equal of that wail.

Back then, I WAS Will Robinson while watching LOST IN SPACE, so getting chased by Angus was totally personal. There was no concept of Angus being a guy in a suit to ease my extreme anxiety. During the episode, I ran and hid behind the sofa several times. I'd half cover my eyes and peer back out at the little black and white T.V. in the corner. The monster repelled me, but he also called my name. I was an eye patch wearing, card-carrying member of the juvenile Ugly Brigade back then, so there was something about Angus that elicited my sympathy, and made me feel that we shared common ground.

When, at the end of the episode, the creature is soothed by Hamish's bagpipes, I thought that he wasn't such a bad guy after all. However, when the episode would screen again, I'd go back to loathing and fearing him. Ever since this encounter with Angus, I have always felt a little bit apprehensive when meeting someone named Angus. I look at them closely, as if to assure myself that they're not the Scottish lagoon monster in a human suit.

UNK SEZ: PhantomofPulp, thanks for that fantastic traumafession! I don't remember this Angus guy but I can see why this orange beastie rocked your world. He reminds me of that horrible sewer monster from the KOLCHAK episode "The Spanish Moss Murders" combined with the "mud monster" from THE WORLD BEYOND. No wonder you hid behind the sofa!

NOTE: All you kids out there really need to stop by PhantomofPulp's absolutely fascinating site PHANTOM OF THE PULP which itself is like a deep Scottish Lagoon chock full of the most intriguing creatures you can imagine. I discovered the very kindertrauma friendly book covers you see below, but there is even more exciting stuff for you to dig through and peruse as well. I think you can tell by his traumafession that this guy has got a way with words and a slew of interesting ideas banging around his noggin. You can jump over there HERE.

Official Traumatizer:: Richard Lynch

Posted on By unkle lancifer

So there I was this weekend working on a post for BAD DREAMS when I found this Official Traumatizer nomination from reader FatherOfTears in my inbox….

RICHARD LYNCH gave me the creeps for many years in my childhood! He usually played bad guys in sci-fi films over the years, including the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and BUCK ROGERS IN THE 21ST CENTURY He has this evil look in his eyes and a sadistic grin. He may have had his best scary role in BAD DREAMS. In that movie he plays a cult leader who sets himself and his followers on fire! One follower survives and his ghost begins to haunt her when she awakens from a coma. Talk about irony: LYNCH himself was a burn victim in the late '60s! He had a bad LSD trip, poured gasoline on himself and then set HIMSELF on fire! He lived, but his face was all scarred up. He would later use this as an asset for his bad guy roles! So with this I nominate RICHARD LYNCH as an Official Traumatizer.

Is FatherOfTears psychic? The same exact thing occurred last week when I was writing about an episode of TWIN PEAKS and he sent another LYNCH nomination, in that case DAVID LYNCH. Kismet? The collective unconscious? How can anyone explain this phenomenon? Well, FatherOfTears consider RICHARD LYNCH an Official Traumatizer both because he earned it and because I now live in fear that you have direct access to my brain and will reveal to the world exactly what I did one moonlight night at Camp Wanahickee circa 1981!

Bad Dreams

Posted on By unkle lancifer

 

 

I don't know how it happened but somewhere along the line during these past two decades I fell in love with the movie BAD DREAMS. When I originally saw it, I remember being pretty into it but being distracted by its similarities to NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS and being more than a little perturbed by its pull the rug out from under you, swallow-its-own-tail ending. Now, those factors do not loom quite so large. I've come to terms with its questionable internal logic and those ELM STREET comparisons have greatly blurred. In fact, due to its relative restraint, in many ways, BAD DREAMS seems much less dated than its more successful and sometimes cloying cinematic lookie-likey.

It's nice to jump off the fence and declare my love, who was I kidding anyway? How could I continue feigning ambivalence when the truth was, over the years, I found myself watching it again and again. It's not perfect for sure, but perfection has always had an open invitation to bite me. Eventually I simply had to come to terms with the fact that it had a flavor and aroma all its own and that it was ready to stand up and be judged on its own terms. It's kinda sorta perfect in a way, a late eighties stand alone horror tale filled with pop psychology, retro tune-age and a cast I could send piles of stalker Valentines to.

It's like this see, creep-bomb RICHARD LYNCH is a scary JIM JONES-type, safe-trap house suicide cult leader who decides to fry his flock and drag them to the promised land. JENNIFER RUBIN (of NOES3) is the lone uncooked survivor who takes a coma nap for 14 years. She awakes in a hospital and is totally macked on by a doctor (BRUCE ABBOT of REANIMATOR fame ) who is really into beige sweaters. She is then forced to go to the greatest group therapy sessions ever assembled due to the fact her co-crazies include such luminaries as Keebler babe E.G. DAILY (ONE DARK NIGHT), uber-eyebrowed DEAN CAMERON ("Chainsaw" from SUMMER SCHOOL !) and a chain-smoking SUSAN RUTTAN (best known from L.A. LAW). Does it get better than this?

 

 

Of course LYNCH's character "Harris" begins to show up in RUBIN's increasingly messed up visions demanding her to return to the cult by offing herself. He also begins appearing to her newfound pals and starts forcing them to commit suicide to drive the point home. The scene in which he is first revealed in an elevator I think is a really well done scare and still holds up nicely today. RUBIN's presence still brings to mind Freddy's third outing, but I also think BAD DREAMS can sit snugly beside THE SENDER and even CANDYMAN thanks to its commitment to straddling "reality" and its main character's skewed version of reality simultaneously.

Director ANDREW FLEMMING was fresh out of film school when he took this project on, but his efforts are impressively slick especially considering the rather meager budget he had to work with. He went on to direct the, as far as I'm concerned, above reproach FAIRUZA BALK gilded mini classic THE CRAFT and more recently the hilarious HAMLET 2. Some movies you fall in love with at the get go and with some it takes years. Maybe it was I who had to grow up and shelve my Freddy comparisons to enjoy what BAD DREAMS has to offer. There I was all those years pointing my index finger and haranguing "You should be more like Freddy!" when I should have been basking in BAD DREAMS singular, thankfully zinger-less charms. I'm sorry BAD DREAMS; ya know what? I think Freddy should be more like you!

 

 

 

 

Kinder-News :: The Premio Dardo Awards

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Our buddy the ever-brilliant Arbogast (pictured above) of the incomparable ARBOGAST ON FILM was kind enough to bestow upon Kindertrauma a Premio Dardo Award. That's when you pick five fellow bloggers that you think don't stink and actually rule and tell everybody to go visit them A.S.A.P. Afterward the five you chose have to pick five of their own and so on and so on until who knows what happens. So in accordance with these rules here are five blogs that we love to death and think are deserving of the Premio Dardo Award as well….

DINER WITH MAX JENKE
Jeff Allard's lifelong commitment to horror is evident in everything he writes. This guy is a walking encyclopedia of knowledge and never fails to fascinate us with his insights. Currently he is doing a countdown of all the FRIDAY THE 13th films, so get there right quick if you know what's good for you!

SLASHER SPEAK
Speaking of the wise and knowledgeable Vince Liaguno knows his slasher flicks and adores the leading ladies that sometimes survive them. He's even written a book of fiction called THE LITERARY SIX which utilizes slasher themes, but takes them in directions you might never predict. If you are a fan of classic eighties slasher horror you'll feel right at home at Vince's pad.

MADE FOR T.V. MAYHEM
Second only to MEREDITH BAXTER-BIRNEY, Amanda By Night is the undisputed queen of the made-for-television movie. She's often bringing up stuff that I have never even heard of and I'm always amazed at how much she knows. She writes for just about everybody cool (Retro Slashers, Horror Yearbook and Pretty Scary), but MADE FOR T.V. MAYHEM is her super entertaining home base. If you feel like you've seen it all, stop by her joint and let her school you!

AWESOMENESS FOR AWESOME'S SAKE
He's often times not safe for work and he's not the type of guy you can bring home to mother, but if loving Mr.Canacorn is wrong neither myself or Aunt John want to be right. Who can turn the world on with a mustachioed smile? Who can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem so fricking awesome? Well it's Mr.Canacorn and you should know it! He's not right in the head, but if you've got the nerve he's got the verve. Awesomeness is just plain AWESOME!

FILM FATHER
Film Father is one of our favorite people out there and his site pretty much rules. Here is a review site that looks at films from a parental perspective and sometimes offers guidelines about what may be suitable for kids. It almost seems the polar opposite of Kindertrauma, but really it's not. In fact, now that his kid Dash is helping out with the reviews you can get a kid's point of view as it happens! How cool is that? It's not all greasy kid stuff though, FilmFather is an avid movie buff and his reviews of non-kiddie fare are some of the best out there, so EVERYBODY should check him out!