kindertrauma

Category: Streaming Alert!

Sunday Streaming :: Gargoyles (1972)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey kids, I gotta plan that's sure to cheer you up today. Let's say we sneak on over to that SHOUT FACTORY TV joint and watch us some GARGOYLES (HERE)! It's only one of the best TV movies ever to grace the small screen and, where I come from, it has a long history of hitting the spot on a Sunday afternoon. Heck, I could even write a traumafession on this slick flick as it always gave me an acute case of the heebie jeebies! It's not the titular monsters so much (although they are impressively unnerving) as it is the general uncanny atmosphere. I don't know why but the opening narration relaying the history of Satan, the multiple aerial gargoyle-eye views of pesky humans crawling about on Earth and the sinister simplicity of the perfectly captured pre-CGI, ominous slate gray skies all add up to me wanting my blanky. Plus JENNIFER SALT is in it! Unless you've just finished watching BRAIAN DE PALMA's SISTERS (1973) or a SOAP marathon (like me) there's surely not enough SALT in your diet!

Streaming Alert:: Home For The Holidays (1972)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Hey folks, I have a lot of egg nog in my system and that means I don't have time to play with you. DON'T EVEN call yourself a horror fan if you've never seen HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS…serious…DON'T EVEN. I don't care if it tastes like medicine….you eat it anyway!!! What I do for you kids! My computer is so ancient that every sentence I write is preceded by a spinning rainbow ball! It keeps spinning and spinning! It's making me dizzy! The simplest post is like knitting a sweater! Not that you care with your instagrams! Did I spell that right? You know what? Why don't you put your criticisms where the monkey puts the nuts? One day your Unkle will be dead and gone like a VHS tape and you'll be all teary-eyed and missing me never realizing that YOU ARE THE MURDERER! Glug-glug..hiccup and furthermore glug-glug Smurfs in the ceiling!!!! Ah, look at the pretty pretty lights!!!!! Happy Merry Christmas Eve. I love you!!!!

Streaming Alert:: Monster Christmas Mash

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Let me share with you one of my most favorite Christmas records of all time, THE MONSTER CHRISTMAS MASH! I first bumped into this groovy gold mine of holiday lunacy in a thrift store in the late eighties and it has slowly ear-wormed its way into becoming an essential part of my yearly festivities. I'm happy and relieved to see that the old devil has made its way to YouTube. I wish I could just plant the entire record on this spot but sadly it's chopped into way too many multiple parts. Don't worry though, we can all just take a field trip and jump to this playlist joint RIGHT HERE and listen to the whole album in order! Yay! I hope you have some (strong) egg nog ready…and plenty.

Here is a mere sample of what awaits you:

Sunday Streaming:: Ninja III: The Domination

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Oh Geez, that ELECTRIC BOOGALLO doc has left me with a strong case of CANNON fever! What to do? Hey, it looks like our fine friends over at the YouTube channel THE PARAMOUNT VAULT has the solution! Let's say we all watch NINJA III: THE DOMINATION! Don't worry, you don't have to see the first two NINJA movies to understand this one because it defies understanding anyway! All you need to know is LUCINDA DICKEY rocks hard and is a champ at playing the video game BOUNCER. If you're still not cured, it looks like a bunch of other CANNON flicks have ended up in the same joint! I see HE- MAN AND THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, MISSING IN ACTION, AMERICAN NINJA, KING SOLOMAN'S MINES and much more! They're all FREE, they all look great and it's all on the up and up! Why are you so generous PARAMOUNT? Are you possessed?

Sunday Streaming:: Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story (1987)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Ssssssh! Let's watch something that we're not supposed to watch. As long as Richard Carpenter is not a regular reader of Kindertrauma, I think we can totally get away with this. Have you ever seen TODD HAYNES' lil' masterpiece SUPERSTAR: The Karen Carpenter Story that is based on the life and times of the tragic genius KAREN CARPENTER? It's so cool because all the actors are dolls and even more strange is just how creepy and moving it ends up being. Sadly this 44-minute slice of brilliance will probably never have a proper release because of all the musical licensing mumbo jumbo and the fact that Richard Carpenter is not a fan of the content in any way, shape or form. But my advice is you should check it out on the down low anyway because at the end of the day, art is more important than all that other stuff and you don't want to go about the rest of your life having missed out on this singular experience. I dunno, I get the Carpenters on my mind every year around this time due to their contribution to Christmas music and I think we can learn a lesson from poor Karen's inability to give herself a break and realize how cool she was in the first place. So let's watch this but whatever you do, keep it quiet!

Sunday Streaming:: Cottage Country (2013)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Sad? You can use HULU like CALGON and tell it to take you away! You don't even have to sign up or pay a dime, HULU has got plenty of freebies to enjoy. Take 2013's COTTAGE COUNTRY for example. It features saucy and sensational FINAL GIRLS star MALIN AKERMAN and the lovely and glamorous TYLER LABINE of TUCKER AND DALE vs EVIL fame! Both those guys are hilarious if you ask me. I know comedy is subjective so I can't guarantee you anything but what have you got to lose? This flick is about a couple who try to have a nice weekend but end up killing a bunch of folks instead. You know how that is. It kind of reminds me a bit of another beloved film, 1996's THE LAST SUPPER. It's got a similar sick sense of humor plus both films take place in a cozy location that is comfortable to hang out in anyway. Just press this word HERE and away you go!

Sunday Streaming :: Terror (1978)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I picked up a VHS copy of NORMAN J. WARREN's TERROR a bunch o' years ago and for some reason, I never gave it a spin. The other night I finally decided to dust it off and give it a looksee and just when it was starting to get good, the darn thing konked out and went on the fritz! I know that sounds tragic but don't worry, there is a happy ending because that very same movie is contained on a compilation DVD I own from MILL CREEK called GOREHOUSE GREATS!

So I put the DVD in and instantly realized that I should have been watching it in the first place because the picture was all of the sudden sharp and lovely. Anyway, I just want to congratulate myself for learning the obvious lesson that sometimes VHS looks like crap and can't be trusted even though I know I'm destined to forget that lesson within a few days.

Also let me say that TERROR (1978) is not such a great movie. I think it's about a witch's curse that ruins things for random people and there's some possession business taking place but mostly I had little idea what was going on (although maybe I should blame my cough medicine for that). I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt anyway because I was never bored and it looked pretty. The general vibe is agreeable and the death scenes stand out. It's like there's about a half dozen really cool horror vignettes that, taken in separately, really work but when they're strung together as a whole, they turn into a muddled mess. In fact, it left me thinking that if you just ripped out the annoyingly foggy plot, you'd be left with one awesome trailer and so I Googled that notion and yep, I was right, the trailer is fantastic…

But this is Sunday Streaming so I'm leaving you with the whole movie. Like I said, it doesn't all make sense or gel together but if you enjoy late-seventies supernatural horror mixed with some slasher elements, it's well worth checking out. There's a stalking scene mid-way through (featuring the guy who played Chewy McWookie in STAR WARS) that doesn't exactly pan out but is pretty nifty while it lasts and the climax, which apparently was inspired by the splashy, fluorescent visuals in SUSPIRIA is at least kind to your peepers even if it ends up feeling kind of detached and incidental. Oh, and there's some funny bits in this flick too involving the making of a trashy movie and wait, wasn't there a flying car too? Hmmm, maybe I liked it even better than I think I did. Yep, I guess so. It's kinda the perfect thing to watch from bed when you are high on cold medicine.

Sunday Streaming:: The Paramount Vault

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Critter peeps, I'm happy to say we've got quite the Streaming bonanza today. Have you all heard about the PARAMOUNT VAULT channel (HERE) that just popped up on our beloved YouTube? It's a brand new joint where you can watch a ton of great movies for the mere price of withstanding a few commercials!

I'm taking back every derogatory thing I've ever said about Paramount Pictures and officially forgiving them for not always treating the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise like the invaluable contribution to world of cinema it obviously is. Their new channel is the coolest and here's hoping other folks are kind enough to follow suit.

As a lifelong movie lover who has shelled out every extra dollar that ever came my way to the industry, I'm getting pretty tired of being treated like a thieving flea-ridden freeloader every time I should happen to catch something for free online. I'm much more likely to purchase a movie once I've seen, enjoyed or at least been made aware of it! Movie viewing begets more movie viewing says me and frankly, fans deserve to be thrown a bone once in a while. Good on you PARAMOUNT!

Anyway, from what I've heard, the films on the channel will change form time to time so make sure you watch stuff while it's there and that you check back for new titles. We'll try to keep you up to date around these parts and here's some currently available movies (links in titles) that I'd recommend….

THE SENDER (1982)
This personal favorite used to be rather difficult to track down. Now, you no longer have any excuse to not see it! Full review HERE.

THE LOVED ONES (2009)
I don't think we covered this one enough around here because I caught it rather late but I'm pretty sure this disturbing gem from Australia showed up on a couple of our reader's underrated lists. I'd certainly file it under "must see."

RUMPELSTILTSKIN (1995)
You'd think director Mark Jones had done enough for humanity by gifting the world with LEPRECHAUN (1993) but nope, he went one step further and dropped this hilarious bad boy on our laps too. What a guy!

IN DREAMS (1999)
Sure it's all kinds of flawed and nonsensical and it may be the only film in existence not helped in any way by a ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. performance but it's fascinating nonetheless, and we all know director NEIL JORDAN rarely skimps on the arresting visuals.

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 (1986)
I admit that I find the second half of this flick kind of dull but the first half terrifies the living crap out of me, so it's all good. As a rule of thumb, you should just watch anything with the word "chainsaw" in the title anyway. Enjoy.

Sunday Streaming:: Terror on Tape (1983)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Having RANDI ALLEN stop by the site this week had me remembering that I may have first viewed CATHY'S CURSE in the late eighties but the first time I ever heard mention of it was when I rented TERROR ON TAPE some years earlier. Are you guys familiar with the one and only TERROR ON TAPE? It's the crazy compilation of clips from movies all of which happen to be on the long defunct CONTINENTAL label and it's hosted by your pal and mine CAMERON MITCHELL! Can you imagine a better place to visit than a video shop that exclusively carries those old school giant box videos? Take some time out to watch TERROR ON TAPE today! It's goofy and sleazy and it's going to be released on DVD exactly never in my estimation and I'd say that's more than appropriate and fine by me!