Even your old Unkle Lancifer has his off days. While constructing the ever useful and fully copyrighted SCARECROW FEAR-O-METER, I made a startling omission. I am ashamed to say I completely forgot the classic episode of FRIDAY THE 13th: THE SERIES aptly entitled “Scarecrow.” In my defense, I did remember the episode with my own little brain and with no help from you readers who are supposed to alert me to my oversights (remember the Kindertrauma hotline is 555-5555; call collect if you like!). The problem is, this is no small gaff on my part, if I had to do it all over again the scarecrow in this episode would have garnered the highest possible rating and left all other rag covered contestants lying in the dust. For this scarecrow is indeed the scariest, he not only has a leather mask that recalls DAVID CRONENBERG’s stint as a psycho in NIGHT BREED, but he also has the coolest mythology attached as well. See all you gotta do with this guy is attach the picture of the jerk you want to kill to his lapel and he’s off with his scythe to collect their head! Of course he was sold at ye olde cursed antique shop at one point in his career which is a bit questionable, but who cares, you get to watch the eternally awesome uber-ginger ROBEY track him down. This great episode which was voted THE fan favorite during a marathon on the CHILLER horror channel was even directed by WILLIAM FRUET, who has more than his fair share of above average slashers under his belt. I’m talking DEATH WEEKEND, FUNERAL HOME, SPASMS and KILLER PARTY. The guy even did the sci-fi monster mash BLUE MONKEY with a little itty bitty TRAUMATOT named SARAH POLLEY! So perhaps fate knew what it was doing when it threw me that curveball of a brain fart, because this episode, whose final ten minutes should make most theatrical movies take a hard look in the mirror, cry and blow their brains out, deserves its very own private entry on our humble pages!

• The lightening storm opening beheading sets the perfect stage
• Scarecrow attacks during sun bleached afternoon ala THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
• Ryan gets personal with that signed baseball and the tale about his brother’s death (He also wears THE coolest hockey sweater)
• No, he didn’t just pop out of the bed!
• Marge Longacre (PATRICIA PHILLIPS) and her scissors! Actually, Marge tears it up in just about every scene she’s in. ALICE KRIGE, watch your back!

P.S.: If you’re anything like me (and plushy fetish/cannibalistic tendencies aside, why shouldn’t you be?) The mere mention of the mono monickered ROBEY will have this JAUNTY TUNE blasting in your head. Yes, it’s a cover of that famous CHESS song sung by MURRAY HEAD who is strangely enough the brother of ANTHONY STEWART HEAD (Giles on Buffy). Beware: ROBEY’s “music” video is known to cause permanent eye and ear damage.