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Happy Birthday to Us! It’s Kindertrauma’s Tenth Anniversary!

September 29th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 26 Comments

We have to interrupt our regularly scheduled Friday afternoon movie puzzle because today’s the day we celebrate KINDERTRAUMA’s ten-year anniversary (actually, our true birthday is tomorrow but I won’t be here tomorrow- and if our site stats are accurate, neither will many of you). It’s not easy being a middle child running a horror blog because you’re always hyper aware of how much attention everybody besides you is getting but it’s also a blessing being a middle child running a horror blog because there’s a good chance that you learned long ago to appreciate the multitude of peaceful pleasures that hiding in plain sight brings. First and foremost, I am proud that we have attracted the most wonderful readers in all of the Internet; people who love movies and love sharing favorite titles with others but have little use for drama, circular arguments or foaming on a soapbox. I want to thank every commenter who has ever dropped by because you have always treated each other with respect and you have all added something personal to enrich and improve this joint. Thank you for every traumafession, “Name That Trauma!” and “It’s a Horror to Know You!” Thank you for every submission, collaboration, love letter to an underrated film, like, share and shout out too. Thank you to the people who lurk and enjoy and don’t say anything; I totally get you. This is a community project and we are forever grateful to have found such generous and positive kin.

We had some great times (like that time ROB ZOMBIE tweeted about us) and we had some not so great times (like that time this year when a corporate Borg approached us to do a KINDERTRAUMA TV series, acted like pals and pumped us for ideas and then sent us a predatory contract that would have them owning our name, concept and content past, present and future in exchange for zero credit, chump change and trickle down “publicity” and then when we wouldn’t sign they said, “Nobody owns the name KINDERTRAUMA! We can make this show without you and you’re just lucky we offered to include you!” and then we had to spend a pretty penny to get a trademark to protect ourselves and then they made the rip-off show anyway with a totally prosaic title and it sunk like a lead balloon because witchcraft is faster than karma). Those not-so-good times can get you down my friends. One day you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning to start on a new post or Photoshop meme and the next you’re pretty sure if you never lay eyes on a laptop again it will be too soon. In my Eeyore brain it’s not the good times that makes 10 years impressive, it’s the withstanding of the bad times but every time I was ready to throw in the towel I’d miraculously get a kind word and move on. Let me get corny- after the above mentioned debacle this year, I was like WILFORD BRIMLEY in THE THING hanging out under a noose when I got the below message on Facebook and it made me misty-eyed like the funeral scene in CANDYMAN

I had to share that because it makes me think we all must be doing something right. Now when I get that WILFORD BRIMLEY feeling (mostly when someone takes something I made, erases our name and posts it as their own), I just re-read that incredibly well-timed pat on the back from a stranger and it usually works. OK- now I’m starting to wish I hadn’t used up all those thank you’ s to you fine people in the first paragraph because I want to say them all again. I hope I covered everybody because you all rule. Oh geez, I forgot Aunt John! Do you know how much worse my punctuation would be without Aunt John? Do you know he had to teach me what little I know about Photoshop and that I have scant idea what’s going on in the backend of this site? Thank you, Aunt John! I owe you infinity beers. I highly doubt that we can do this for another ten years but no worries- something tells me that KINDERTRAUMA ™ is forever. Happy Birthday to us all!

Tags: Kinder-News

26 responses so far ↓

  • 1 bloodymaryNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    Happy Anniversary! Now that I have internet access I’m going to promote you to my bookmark bar and fake a pregnancy because I’ve missed out on a lot. Thanks for all you do, it’s a gift that keeps on giving

  • 2 Dylan Donnie-DukeNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 12:13 pm

    When I first discovered this site, it was like a fever dream of nostalgia, and it has never ended. Every post has merit, and all posts by Unk are the best written reviews and summaries on the webs. I am so happy that I ran across this site, as it not only fills the empty void of my workday, but it also inspired me to finally create my own passion project. Congrats to my favorite website ever!!! Here’s to 10 more!

  • 3 Caffeinated JoeNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 1:52 pm

    Happy Anniversary and thanks for all the entertainment and answers!

  • 4 chainmanNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    Happy Anniversary! I hope it’s all clear sailing for the next ten years. I hope those *assholes thieves (Pardon my French) get hoisted by their own petard.

  • 5 carolNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    You guys are so amazing. Thank you x 1 million for everything you do!

    PS – I seriously can’t believe you had to go through that crap. Booooo.

  • 6 Drew BluddNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 3:21 pm

    Happy to be a tiny footnote in a history of the coolest place on the internet

  • 7 RATSAWGODNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    Wow, ten years? Where does the time go? I still love this blog so, so much. Thank you both dearly for every deliciously horrifying thing you do!

  • 8 FatherOfTearsNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    Happy 10 years! So I was 40 when this site was first launched? That means I’m-NEVER MIND!!!!

  • 9 TombNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    Hey this is the perfect size blog for me! My best experience is winning that CometTV swag contest…oh and receiving a “special sticker” from a traumafession!

    Looks like I’m stuck here Hill House!

    Congrats Unk!

  • 10 micksterNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 6:12 pm

    Hurray! Happy Birthday, Kindertrauma! I am most thankful for this site because it was the start of my friendship with wonderful duo Unkle Lancifer and Aunt John! Love y’all bunches!

  • 11 kirbyreedloveshorrorNo Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    Kirby Reed loves…Kindertrauma! Happiest of birthdays! I made shish kabobs!

  • 12 JennyD13No Gravatar // Sep 29, 2017 at 9:29 pm

    Happy birthday!!! Many bloody returns! Hope those horrible executives that tried to rip you off lost a bundle of money!

  • 13 downdownyoufoolNo Gravatar // Sep 30, 2017 at 9:03 am

    Happy anniversary! Thank you for all the joyous horror you bring to my life!

  • 14 jd666No Gravatar // Sep 30, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    this existence is so odd really. you wander around rather blindly for a relatively brief amount of time the best of us wanting to inflict as little damage as possible as we stumble through. there are respites however unlikely you discover along the way. your site and it’s community are one. you are truly lovely people and you run a truly lovely site. many happy returns, and many thanks.

  • 15 david vaughanNo Gravatar // Oct 1, 2017 at 1:53 pm

    10 Years on the internet is very impressive, not only for the time to make a well written post, but the time to develop content, memes, upload, host and etc … Nice job lil brother, I’m one of those silent readers and have been for 9 years …. enjoy reading your personality in your posts … keep up the incredibly hard work … and ill say it again … JOB WELL DONE !! Your brother David

  • 16 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Oct 2, 2017 at 1:12 pm

    Thanks for all of these kind messages! This is like a who’s who list of most beloved KT peeps! You guys are awesome and your support means the world to us.. We’ll have some new traumafessions and NTT’s later in the week. There’s too much real life trauma going on in the world to post today. Hope you guys are all safe and sound and we’ll be back soon!

  • 17 Ben SNo Gravatar // Oct 2, 2017 at 7:35 pm

    I’m sorry I am late to the party, and it does feel like today there is too much trauma to speak about anything else. But I had to thank you for all that your website has brought me! It’s influenced my work and my way of thinking about the horror genre, and I never enjoy writing for any other site more! Unk, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are my favorite person writing about movies today! To quote Angela Channing on FALCON CREST, “Here’s to you KinderTrauma, long may you reign.”

  • 18 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Oct 4, 2017 at 6:19 pm

    Thanks so much Ben S! That means a lot! This place wouldn’t be the same without your excellent contributions!

  • 19 SnixyNo Gravatar // Oct 5, 2017 at 8:55 pm

    Hiya. Congratulations. Frequent reader. Sometimes comments. Best to you in the future. Thanks for dredging up some of my old nightmares and scary memories!

  • 20 SnixyNo Gravatar // Oct 5, 2017 at 9:03 pm

    And there are a lot of websites and blogs out there, but I think you capture some special essence of macabre reminiscence here. Looking forward to the forthcoming October/Halloween posts for something special. Boo you.

  • 21 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Oct 6, 2017 at 10:21 am

    Thanks Snixy!

  • 22 SnixyNo Gravatar // Oct 6, 2017 at 10:58 am

    And that was a scary, happy Boo you I gave to you. I figured you knew that, in the awesome of Halloween. Not the negative boooo accordingly directed at thieving ahole scumbag production corporate predatory people. Rock on. Here is a minor request. In the spirit of a great film, Blade Runner, and its knew revival, sequel, maybe toss up something future horror related for us this week. Just a thought.

  • 23 SnixyNo Gravatar // Oct 6, 2017 at 11:03 am

    Ooops. there is one now. Name That Future Dystopia!

  • 24 SnixyNo Gravatar // Oct 6, 2017 at 11:11 am

    As usual…Kindertrauma is on top of things!

  • 25 M KitkaNo Gravatar // Oct 14, 2017 at 10:26 am

    I don’t know if you’ll see this, Unkle Lancifer, but I want you to know that in conversations about the pit of actual awfulness that is the internet, I mention as the *one* website where it is always safe to read the comments section. I give credit to your marvelous personality shining through on every page and being reflected in your fans. Here’s to your awesomeness!

  • 26 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Oct 14, 2017 at 2:05 pm

    M Kitka,

    Thank you so much! That is a great thing to hear!

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