Hi kids, it's your Aunt John here. Your Unkle Lancifer and I are taking the day off to get ready for this coming Saturday's SECOND ANNUAL KINDERTRAUMA HALLOWEEN PARADE. And by get ready, I really mean settle a choreography dispute with the KINDERTRAUMA DANCERS. So if you haven't sent in your parade picture yet (firstname.lastname@example.org) get on it!
Anywhoozles, in our absence, Kinderpal Mickster has graciously agreed to take time off from her gig as an investigative reporter and baby-sit today. So spread out your story-time mats, grab your juice boxes, and get comfortable as Mickster takes a whack at LIZZIE BORDEN: