






your happy childhood ends here!

Rob, born 1970….
"Jaws" – still can't stand deep water.
"Dracula" – w/ Frank Langella, especially vampire Lucy in the crypt.
"Nightmare on Elm Street" – mostly the last scene w/ mom pulled through the door.
The Exorcist never affected me, Godzilla looked cuddly and Jason Voorhees just killed stupid people; but the above gave me serious creeps growing up.

Never felt those sort of scares again until the J-Horror / Ringu / Ju-On era.
great site,
Rob


This Traumafession is likely to go on a bit, guys; please indulge me.
I was born in 1962, too young to be a fan of Rod Serling's Twilight Zone. Since I was raised in a small town, and in the era before cable, I was severely limited by what I could see in syndication; for almost two decades that television institution that was TZ eluded me, and I would not see my first episode until I was almost 20. However, I was a regular reader of Gold Key's entertaining TZ comic book – a title I began collecting when I was five. Through its illustrated pages I discovered that every tale was presented by a dapper man named Rod Serling, much in the same way that horror comics were graced by hosts in prior decades. Was he a writer? Director? Actor? I did not really know, but I knew he was associated with all things eerie and fantastical, and that made him a kindred spirit to me.

Then one day in 1969 I was flipping through the pages of a TV Guide – how exciting it was to see what entertainments lay in store for the week ahead! – and there, eight days after Halloween, was a highlighted box promoting a new TV movie named Night Gallery – hosted by Rod Serling! Missing it was unthinkable. I can still remember being curled up on the end of our old green sofa, pillow at the ready to stick in front of my face. The gentleman on the screen looked a little older than the one drawn in the comics; the hair a bit more modern, the skin more lined and leathery, but it was him. And with a voice like he possessed, how could he present anything BUT the weird and wonderful? The first tale,"The Cemetery," was simply the most frightening thing I had seen in my life up to that point. I stayed awake for "Eyes" but had to be trundled off to bed by the end of "The Escape Route;" I was slipping in and out of sleep.

But I knew this: I was mesmerized. And my devotion to Mr Serling began in earnest on November 8, 1969.
When NG returned to NBC's schedule in 1970 as part of the "Four-in-One" concept with a mere six episodes, I was ready, and far better at fending off sleep till the end of an episode. For the next three years, NG would become perhaps the greatest pop cultural touchstone in my life. My friends and I would reenact episodes on the playground, quote lines from Serling's intros (The Doll: "…and this one you'd best not play with"), and I, little nerd that I was, always got to play Television Horror Anthology Host. When we had to write plays for a 4th Grade class, I wrote a NG episode about a demonic hotel guest who refused to check out – and the painting was a Crayola masterwork of said demon hovering over the Planet Earth. I looked up the stories by the authors featured on the show, beginning a love for short supernatural fiction that has remained undimmed by time. I can point to incidents in my life that occurred on evenings dedicated to viewing NG, so transfixed are those moments in the mind's eye. In fact, as I type this, I am sitting beneath a print of Tom Wright's painting for "She'll Be Company For You."

Night Gallery made me who I am. It defines Horror for me. I am unabashed in my love for the series (with the exception of the humorous vignettes). It genuinely grieves me to hear how Serling was mistreated during the series run and how he largely disowned the enterprise, but when it was good – and that was often – it was brilliant. And if, heaven forfend, there are any Kinderpals who are not familiar with NG, start with The Caterpillar, The Sins of the Fathers, Green Fingers, Certain Shadows on the Wall, The Class of '99…so many delights await.

But that is not the subject of this Traumafession.
At some point in the production of the series, Jack Laird filmed what we in the TV business would call B-roll (secondary footage) for inclusion. It consisted of a number of disembodied heads, dressed in black, and shot against a black backdrop; you can see some of these faces worked into the opening credits for the first and second seasons. But he also used a montage of these heads at the station break; the time for affiliates to sell local commercials. Backed up by a faster version of the main title theme, and obscured by the show's title, I found these faces to be terrifying. I could not watch as the music played, finally peeking when the piece had climaxed. At 9:30 every Wednesday night I was trained to look away. To the best of my knowledge, this footage has never been included as supplementary material on any of the NG DVD releases, and has been unseen by the public for decades…until now.
Freshly posted to YouTube just a little over a month ago, these "bumpers" are back. According to the poster, they were courtesy of a gift from authors Scott Skelton and Jim Benson, whose book Night Gallery: An After-Hours Tour is not only the definitive volume on the show, but is a benchmark for how books covering a television series in-depth should be written. Scott and I communicated years ago on a forum dedicated to the show, and I was delighted to provide him with the printed stories behind several NG eps, for which he sent me a multi-CD set of music from that show that I treasure. Now at last I can see exactly what frightened me: Face Number Two. I imagined that bizarrely androgynous visage appearing over me while I slept, and woof! Sleep no more. There are three bumpers: 1) The full cut; 2) A tighter edit that eliminates the final face and speeds up the music; 3) The rather dull backdrop of gallery paintings backed by Eddie Sauter's shrill Season Three theme.
Enjoy. And thanks for reading!


Let's go ahead and jump right past the first SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE movie. It's a serviceable enough HALLOWEEN clone but we've got bigger, funnier, fish to fry. SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2 (1990) and its quasi-sequel from the same year (if not the same week) HARD TO DIE (1990) were both directed by frequent ROGER CORMAN crony JIM WYNORSKI (88's NOT OF THIS EARTH). I recommend you watch them back to back for optimum results.

SHM2 concerns five young ladies who buy a house to use for their sorority. They get the place super cheap on account of all of the grisly murders that took place there. Soon they meet a creepy neighbor named Orville Ketchum who kindly relays the history of the house by inexplicably talking over flashback scenes from SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE rather than the previous SORORITY movie. Stock footage of lightening informs us that a storm is brewing and so naturally the girls change into nighties and grab a Ouija board. Hilarious hijinks and horrible hook murders ensue. It's often said that a cult movie mustn't be in on the joke to be any good and here's proof that theory is full of hot air.

Now it's time for HARD TO DIE (or SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 3). Most of the young ladies have returned to play different characters and the location has been moved to a towering skyscraper. Now watch as nearly the exact same events occur in a similarly structured script. Orville Ketchum is now the creepy janitor and he's quick to explain the occurrences of the last film by again speaking over the exact same SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE scenes rather than SORORITY 2. Stock footage of lightening is shown (this time with a building in front of it) and as if trapped in some kind of surreal eternal loop the girls loose their clothes and begin fooling around with a damned puzzle box a'la HELLRAISER having upgraded from the Ouija Board. Again, as the characters one by one meet their doom, two useless detectives loiter about the film's border only to arrive on the scene barely in time for the closing credits and the too late realization that Orville Ketchum is one very misunderstood man.

All signs point to these distorted mirror movie siblings being campy trash, and they are…and they're also lazily brilliant and somehow Dada-esque. Balancing on a tightrope between parody and pastiche, they off handedly both celebrate and mock the redundancy of sequels and the trippy deja vu nature of oft-repeated genre clichés. Or maybe I just have a questionable sense of humor.



These two space posters have ten space differences! Help space find them!

Aw, it's SPACE RAIDERS! This is the charming tale of a precocious child who stows away on a spaceship and inadvertently causes the deaths of nearly every living creature who tries to help him get home. A mutant prostitute makes an appearance and so does an intergalactic singing chicken lady! Star DAVID MENDENHALL would go one to appear in the highest grossing arm wrestling movie of all time (OVER THE TOP). Check out the excitement and special effects borrowed from BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS below!


Sometimes I hate writing because it reminds me so much of talking and talking reminds me so much of a very loud headache factory I wish to demolish. And so I'm off to walk a dog named Nelson. Hey, let's make a horror mix tape! Here are some songs that I must put on my horror mix tape. Please add as many songs as you can in the comment section so that I have something to listen to when I get back from walking the dog name Nelson. Thank You!
SIDE ONE
SIDE TWO


I think that we all can agree that sometimes, parents aren't the sharpest tools in the shed. How many times would you say that parents have dragged their kids to a movie that anyone else would have been able to tell was more than a little less than kid-friendly. Just take a look at the TV Tropes page, What Do You Mean It's Not For Kids. Other times, you can't really blame them. It's an easy mistake, because you know how covers can lie. Just look at the art on some of the boxes for Watership Down. There has been many a time that someone picked this up thinking it was just another kids' movie, only to have to coax a traumatized child out from behind the couch later. Or maybe you showed your kid Felidae, which is basically film noir with cats, sex scene included. Yes, there is a sex scene. With cats. This brings me to my main point: Animated does not necessarily mean kid-friendly. For our main example, I will talk about one of my favorite films of all time, 9. I'll try to keep it as spoiler-free as possible.

9 is an animated film directed by Shane Acker, and produced by Tim Burton. It is based off a short film that Mr. Acker made a few years before. It features an all-star cast, among those being Christopher Plummer, Martin Landau, and Elijah Wood. The film is set is a post-apocalyptic setting, mankind having been wiped out by machines. A scientist made 9 creations with the intention of having humanity live on after all humans are dead. The story centers around the 9th creation, simply named 9.

For one, there are dead bodies. In the very beginning of the movie, we have 9 discovering the body of the scientist. Not even two minutes later, he comes across a car with its door open. Inside are the corpses of a mother and child. Later on, we will see skeletons being sawed up in order to create a monster. And in a flashback scene, we see a person die on-screen.

Then there are the machines. In the first 10 minutes of the movie, we are assaulted with the image of the Cat Beast, so named for the cat skull that it has for a head. Later, we have the B.R.A.I.N. with his gigantic glowing red eye, who is responsible for the deaths of more than half of the creations. I'll get to the deaths later. The B.R.A.I.N. makes the machine that was assembled with human bones mentioned earlier. This is the Winged Beast. But the biggest offender of them all has to be the Seamstress. She has a doll's head with the body shape of a snake, many spindly legs composed of needles that she uses to sew her victims up, trapping them. And attached to her tail, the dead, empty husk of one of the creations.

And yes, more than half of the creations are dead by the end of the movie. The way in which they die is particularly violent. How so? Well, try having your soul sucked out through your eye sockets and mouth while your body flails about uncontrollably. This is all shown on-screen, too.

So how could parents think that a movie like this is kid-friendly? The movie is even rated PG-13, and the advertisements are suitably dark-toned, some of which explicitly stating that the movie is't for kids. We can only assume that it is because most people are under the notion that everything animated is made for kids, which isn't true in the slightest. If you all have some free time, do check out 9. In my opinion, it is a fantastic film that is certainly deserving of a bigger audience. It has the ability to draw you in. It is full of both action and emotion, really having the ability to both keep you at the edge of your seat and pull at your heartstrings. Give it a try. I'm sure that you wont regret it. And trust me, some time in the distant future, the team of Kindertrauma will be receiving a traumafession or two for this film.


Hi there!
Thank you so much for Kindertrauma.com! I am a huge fan. I came across it randomly on my cell phone one day and proceeded to read it on that little screen for hours. My eyes were killing me but it was so fun!
I would like to recommend a Netflix streaming movie that is truly terrifying. Red, White & Blue is a psychological horror movie that filled me with a dread that stuck with me for days. The acting was also amazing, especially by Noah Taylor. I hope you like it!
Take care!
Annie
UNK SEZ: Dear Annie, thank you so much for your recommendation. I watched RED, WHITE & BLUE (2010) last night and I'd like you to pay for my therapy bills. Seriously, you were not kidding, that movie really is a harrowing ride into the pit. While watching it, I was often thinking I was a hair away from turning it off but there was no way I could. Without giving anything away to those who haven't seen it, I was really impressed by the fact that no character was presented in easy to digest black and white terms as would be the usual case in a film concerning (at least partially) revenge. It was really the sad desperation and not the violence that burrowed so deep under my skin.

Immediately after my viewing I had to look the director up on IMDb. Holy Crap, writer/director SIMON RUMLEY is the same scamp who made another Netflix streaming nightmare of mine called THE LIVING AND THE DEAD (2006)! He must be a mad man or a genius of some sort. That movie also aged me a couple years with its merciless take on both mental and physical illness. I wrote half a review for that one a couple years ago but just stopped and walked away because it was too distressing to continue thinking about and I didn't want to make myself a magnet for wicked spirits and bummer vibes.
Again, Annie, thanks for pushing me to watch this difficult movie and thank you SIMON RUMLEY for pushing me past my safety zone not once but twice. I will never watch either RED WHITE & BLUE or THE LIVING AND THE DEAD again as long as I live but I'm looking forward to seeing what you do next.

I'm sure our readers are well aware of the must-see horror TV classics (DARK NIGHT OF THE SCARECROW, TRILOGY OF TERROR, DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK, DON'T GO TO SLEEP, GARGOYLES BAD RONALD, et al.) and I'm assuming I've already pushed more praise on SATAN'S TRIANGLE than any human can reasonably be expected to in one lifetime, so here is a grab bag of TV horrors that are often overlooked and deserve a little more love… (Really I'm just linking to old reviews and making like I've done a fresh post. Don't gripe, it's recycling and it helps the environment.)

DEADLY MESSAGES (1985)
You get a chatty Ouija board, a maniac with a huge knife, that lady from ARE YOU IN THE HOUSE ALONE? (KATHLEEN BELLER) and it's written and directed by the fine folks who brought you THE MIDNIGHT HOUR! This atmospheric gift even takes place during the Christmas holiday! Read more HERE.

SUMMER GIRL (1983)
Will DIANE FRANKLIN one day discover Kindertrauma and be rightly disturbed by my unhealthy obsession with everything she does? Who knows? In the meantime read more HERE.

BLACK NOON (1971)
Watch it for the exceptional cast and love it for sticking a stick of dynamite in your ear and blowing up your brain. More unabashed affection found HERE.

NIGHT GALLERY's "Brenda"
Hey, this isn't a movie, it's a NIGHT GALLERY segment! I can't help it. I'm putting this here anyway because it still haunts me. Read more HERE.

THE HOUSE THAT WOULD NOT DIE (1970)
This one is a legit classic but I scarcely hear it mentioned these days on account of I guess it's kinda granny-toned. Luckily all I need is some creepy whispering voices to get me going! More HERE.