kindertrauma

Happy Arbogast Day 2011!

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's the day after Mother's Day and around these parts that means it's Arbogast Day! This is the day we honor fellow blogger Arbogast of ARBOGAST ON FILM by taking part in his "The One I Might Have Saved" meme. It's a kindertrauma tradition and it must be upheld even though this year I believe I may have figured out who the mysterious Arbogast actually is. I can't explain how I came to this conclusion but I am now convinced that he may, in fact, be noted author Margaret Atwood working under a nom de plume.

Be that as it probably is, I've got Arbogast Day work to do. The idea behind "The One I Might Have Saved" is to write about a character in a film who you would have not die if you could and this year my pick was super easy.

I guess I should shout spoiler alert, but if you did not go see SCREAM 4 in the movie theater than really what kind of fan are you and do you even care? I can't wait around here for everybody to see everything before I talk about it! Try to keep up!

With apologies to stalwart Kinderpal Chris who feels exactly the opposite way as I do, I have no choice but to save Kirby Reed (HAYDEN PANETTIERE) of SCREAM 4. Hey, did I really ruin anything? You don't know how she dies or whether it sticks. This is a slasher series so it would be easy enough to recon Kirby back from the grave. If ROB ZOMBIE can breath life back into Annie Brackett for H2 I'd think anything outside of a decapitation can be bounced back from (and Michael Myers even once found a way to recover from that!). Sadly Kirby as a character faces something more deadly than on screen mutilation and that is slim box office revenue. SCREAM 4 was sorta a financial dud but nobody, try as they might, can blame me for that.

The reason I like Kirby so much is because I originally thought I was going to hate her and she totally won me over. I can't resist a secret cinephile and I love people who just happen to know things and aren't so insecure that they have to brag about it all the time. Kirby basically embodied all of the strong points of the original SCREAM characters and therefore to me comes across as more well-rounded than the lot of them. She also had a very progressive haircut, which makes me think she was far too clever to kick the bucket in the way that she did. That girl had sass without being an ass and I loved the way she shook that ice in her glass! Kirby fans know what I'm talking about!

Yes, frighteningly I am for once not alone. Go visit the IMDb message boards and look what's brewing. Many people not only agree that Kirby is boss but also are quite convinced that she MUST be still alive. You may as well know that I just joined the Facebook page of like-minded individuals. Surely I am the oldest among them daydreaming that Kirby shall return from the ashes but who cares? You don't stay young with exercise folks, you stay young through the magic of utter denial of reality. How do you think I still get carded? Fan-demonium is the fountain of youth!

Kirby needs to be brought back. She needs to now carry the franchise. I don't care if Part 4 was a financial bust because I have a solution and it's called make the next one cheaper. Why the hell did SCREAM 4 cost 40 million dollars to begin with? I just know it went to into the paychecks of the original stars and so I say drop em'! Who needs them? They're just treading water anyway! They're not Kirby. Holy crap, I just signed a petition to save her! This Arbogast Day won't be about "The One I Might Have Saved!" This year is about "The One I WILL Save!" Kirby lives!

"She cared so much she offered up her body to the grave."-OMD

NOTE: Arbogast Day is not Arbogast Day without visiting Arbogast! Go check Arby out HERE and tell him I said, "Thanks for Kirby-ing my enthusiasm!"

Trauma-Mommas :: Mother of the Year 2011

Posted on By aunt john

When it came to selecting the Trauma-Momma of the Year, there was really no competition. Let's take a lookie-loo at this mother's impressive resume:


1. She's an accomplished artist specializing in portraiture.


2. She has an appreciation for the sweeter things in life.


3. She gives a mean manicure.


4. She's not above kissing boo-boos.


5. She's always calling to check in.


6. Her daughter has a face that only she can love.


7. She has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to Ecstasy-fueled pottymouth.


8. She knows sleep is the best cure for a hangover.


9. The kitchen is the heart of her home.


10. Again, her paintings are very life-like.


11. She's not afraid to get physical when a game of "hide the doorknob" gets heated.


12. When it comes time for her daughter's swan song, she is front and center.


It is for the above reasons, your Aunt John is pleased to crown BLACK SWAN's Erica Sayers with the coveted Trauma-Momma of the Year Award. You earned it, you crazy bitch!


Special thanks to my own Mommy for buying me a copy of this DVD the other day during our mother/son shopping excursion and extra thanks for never napping in my room during my teen years. Seriously.

Valerie and Her Week of Wonders (1970)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

The weather is getting nice and you are now thinking of betraying the computer that kept you company all winter and taking a walk outside. Don't bother. The air may be fresh but there are also bugs flying around out there that want to bite you and steal your blood or maybe lay eggs in your hair. Best to just stay indoors and watch VALERIE AND HER WEEK OF WONDERS, a 1970 Czech film that looks more beautiful than anything going on in your neighborhood. I can say that with confidence even though I don't know where you live because this movie is perpetually gorgeous from first frame to last. I'm not entirely sure what the hell is going on in it but it sure is something to behold. To call it dreamlike is an understatement, VALERIE is like having ten dreams at the same time that overlap and blend into each other with the ease of a breeze. It's simultaneously simple and complex and feels like falling into a painting that morphs from one style to another without pause. One moment it's lush and expressionistic, the other moment it's gruesome and darkly gothic and then back again.

VALERIE is based on a novel from 1935 and depicts the surreal perceptions of a young girl shedding her childhood and moving forward into a confusing adult world. It reminds me very much of 1973's LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL with its preoccupation with innocence, corruption and aging. Both films also share a curious protagonist seemingly surrounded by exploitive forces ready to pounce. For Valerie, growing up is essentially the act of learning that monsters are not only real, but they also just happen to be everybody she knows. We're witnessing a rite of passage of sorts; she is being welcomed to sit at the adult table but it comes with the knowledge that she will be dining with parasitic vampires. We've all been there. It's not all darkness and depravity though, as terrifying as some of the people and situations that Valerie encounters are, she retains a clear adventurous spirit. It's hard not to like a gal who, when tied to a stake to be burned as a witch, has the moxie to make faces and jeer at the threatening mob. Plus this movie has weasels.

Folks who get frustrated with ambiguity may want to take a pass here. Characters change identities like hats and for every concrete step forward, there is a dizzying step back. Personally I can't resist a film this visually stunning and I like the idea that with every return trip I may spot something new and understand it a shade more (or not). I'm also rather in love with the soundtrack which is just as haunting and provocative as the film itself. To be honest with you, this is a difficult film to write about. The more you think about it the more it evaporates. All I know is that for a film that runs a mere 73 minutes, it casts a formidable spell that may leave you in a trance like state. I advise watching this movie, but I don't advise operating any heavy machinery afterward.

Mimic 3: Sentinel (2003)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I have another LANCE HENRIKSEN log to throw on the blogothon fire. Truth be told, this movie involves more of a supporting role for HENRIKSEN but I can't let the chance of speaking about MIMIC 3: SENTINEL pass me by. I know what you're thinking, the world of straight-to-DVD sequels, particularly those dispensed by DIMENSION FILMS, is a treacherous one. Why would anyone give this film a chance when even the first film in the series was hobbled by massive studio interference? I don't know how this happened but somebody actually allowed director/writer J.T. PETTY (SOFT FOR DIGGING, THE BURROWERS) to do his own thing and retain his own voice and the result is a film with strong enough legs to crawl on its own. Many MIMIC fans apparently disagree. The knee jerk desire for "bigger, stronger, faster!" is just too strong to break. For myself though, I can only admire this micro-budgeted, limited setting, psychological thriller with a purposeful pace. It's as if FRANZ KAFKA did a rewrite of REAR WINDOW.

Obvious action elements are buried in the dust from the start when we are introduced to the sickly and paranoid Marvin Montrose. He's as twitchy as a bug and actor KARL GEARY's offbeat idiosyncratic performance may even bring to mind JEFF GOLDBLUM's work in THE FLY. Marvin is a survivor of the disease mentioned in the first film and it has left him allergic to nearly everything in his environment. Homebound due to his condition, he connects to the outside world through photography, snapping shots at the slices of life he spies from his window. The city hums like a hive all around him but Marvin is trapped in amber, his only consistent contacts being his Mother (AMANDA PLUMMER…score!) and his scamp of a younger sister (ALEXIS DZIENA, have I ever mentioned how much I enjoy 05's HAVOC?) From his perch, Martin begins to observe suspicious activity in the urban arena that involves giant looming insectoid creatures chomping on passersby and a mysterious "garbage man" portrayed by our man HENRIKSEN. The police are as much as help as ever and Marvin is is forced to confront the beasties with his very limited powers and resources.

SENTINEL takes its time and perhaps I'm a dying breed, but I welcome that. Much like PETTY's later flick THE BURROWERS, the film holds back on the firework show until the viewer has been properly initiated. When things go down, they go down hard and the aggressiveness is all the more shocking thanks to its previous scarcity. There are a slew of interesting ideas scattering about concerning the act of "seeing" in general. We understand Marvin's outlook on the world through his photography. Much of what we observe is through his camera and eventually the line between viewer and subject blurs. When Marvin does finally put his camera down, we suddenly find ourselves watching him from afar through a lens as he once watched others. Trust me, there's more infesting this movie than giant mutant bugs. As much as Martin attempts to look past his situation it seems the shadows from his childhood (the roach/man personifications of his disease) keep knocking at the front door of his shoebox home.

As I said before HENRIKSEN's role is relatively brief, but he does make a strong impression as usual. Like PLUMMER, it's always good to see him in anything. As they say, there's no such thing as a small part…unless of course you count the part of that kid who gets ripped to shreds in the first three minutes of this movie. If you're looking for spectacle, than feel free to watch one of those cars that turn into robots movies instead. Tell that bumble bee-thingy I said, "Hi." MIMIC 3: SENTINEL goes against the grain in a way that is refreshing, taking an expansive story and bringing it home and personalizing it. PETTY smartly stays within his means, focuses on characters and setting and presents a story much more insular and involved than anyone would suspect. I mentioned that this film is small but the miraculous thing is that as you watch it keeps getting smaller and smaller until finally the action is taking place in about 3 feet of space. The final confrontation with the menace that takes place from within a refrigerator still makes me flinch and jump and its flashes of absolute blackness allow the mind to reel. Talk about mimicry, this movie is an absolute keeper running around in the shell of a throwaway. Don't fall for the Camouflage.

NOTE: This post is part of the LANCE HENRIKSEN BLOGATHON! Jump on over to JOHN KENNETH MUIR's REFLECTIONS ON FILM AND TELEVISION for lots more HERE!

Name That Trauma :: Anton Bogaty on a Bottled Baby in a Barn

Posted on By aunt john

Kindertrauma,

Love the site and am a frequent browser. You provide a true service by bringing to light so many obscure films, particularly T.V. movies from the '70s.

I have a 'Name That Trauma' from a friend that's baffled me for a couple of years now. Though possibly best never revealed since it was truly traumatic to him, this is all that I have:

The film takes place in the grasslands, with an AMERICAN GOTHIC feel. A fetus in a jar is discovered in a barn and a young, pale, dark-haired boy believes that the bottled fetus is an angel that fell to Earth. Craziness. Any tips would be much-appreciated.

I wish I had a good trauma-fession that wasn't already discussed on the site. This is the only unspoken one that I can contribute: I remember a scene from an After School Special, where a group of teenage kids walk into a movie theater. The camera zooms in on the poster for the movie they are about to go see and it's the lower half of the classic poster for THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD, with the skull-faced woman holding the head on the platter. Took awhile to shake that image from my adolescent nightmares.

Thanks again,

Anton Bogaty

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Anton, based on your pal's recollection, I strongly suspect the fermented fetus in question comes from the 1972 UTA HAGEN-helmed flick THE OTHER. Having been wrong about Name That Traumas in the past, I would recommend your pal peep the trailer HERE. (NOTE: The baby in the bottle in curiously missing from said trailer, but perhaps your friend will recognize the UDVARNOKY twins or even the UTA.)

Say, does anyone remember which AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL the second one stems from? If so, please sound off in the comments.

That said, your Aunt John recommends that everyone visit Anton's site to see all of his stellar short films and animations, especially the kindertraumatic "Death by Dying":

UPDATE: FIRST NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Yep, your Aunt John was wrong with THE OTHER. Special thanks to reader Mark J. Hansen for being the first to recognize the baby in the bottle in the barn from THE REFLECTING SKIN.

Streaming Alert! :: Frayed (2007)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

I just have to give all the dyed-in-the-wool slasher fans out there the heads up that FRAYED is now available on Netflix Streaming. Long time Kindertrauma readers will probably remember that a while back we featured traumafessions from the makers of this independent film (check them out HERE). I have a bit of a soft spot for this under the radar gem because it feels just like the eighties horror movies I gravitated toward in my youth. It owes much to HALLOWEEN (who doesn't?) but it's not afraid to shake the formula up a bit to keep things loose and freshly off kilter. I'm not crazy about all of the performances but the actors that really need to go for broke certainly do. If you are one of the folks who recently enjoyed the small town killer on the loose atmosphere of SCREAM 4, I think you'll find some fun to be had here too, just remember to turn the lights off before you watch and don't be surprised if when the film is done, you reach to rewind the tape only to remember it's not on VHS.

I'm happy to see that many people who have watched FRAYED and left comments on Netflix Streaming, IMDb & Amazon seem to appreciate it as much as I do for what it accomplishes. No, there are no big stars in the movie and sometimes its budget is apparent but if you settle down and get yourself into the action, it's really a fun and thrilling old school ride with real scares. In fact, I'm kind of surprised that FRAYED did not make more of a splash when it came out on DVD. I'm sure it would have if it was given a better push by distributer LIONS GATE. I mean they didn't even put images from the movie on the back of the DVD case and that is just lazy loco! I know I never rent stuff without pictures on the back because it makes me assume that the movie has something to hide! Well, FRAYED has nothing to hide (especially in the cool visuals department) and the days of reading the back of DVD cases in video stores seems to be over now anyway. Looks like us horror fans are going to have to rely even more on word-of-mouth from now on. You probably already know if a low-budget slasher salute suites your appetites or not. I know for me every once in a while I need that certain late-night fix and FRAYED, now available on Netflix Streaming is one good way to get it.

NOTE: FRAYED will also be making its cable premiere on THE CHILLER CHANNEL on May 6th at 10pm EST! You can check out its home page HERE & its FB page HERE! This is a film that really deserves horror community support. It is made by real fans rather than hired monkeys so I say check it out! HORROR MOVIE A DAY has called it "The best slasher in years!" and you can read that review HERE!

Pumpkinhead (1988)

Posted on By unkle lancifer

If I'm such a big fan of LANCE HENRIKSEN why is it that I always seem to dread or avoid watching PUMKINHEAD? A big heavy stone sinks slowly down the well of my stomach just thinking about it. I've always assumed that because the plot of the film springboards off of the heartbreaking death of a child that I considered it too emotionally taxing for a casual view. That would make sense but that never stopped me from throwing PET SEMETARY on multiple times over the years. The little boy in PUMPKINHEAD's motorbike mishap is no more tragic than Gage Creed's Mack Truck flattening and I think I know which vehicle I'd rather be smashed by. Sitting myself down and forcing a revisit with PUMPKINHEAD recently made it all suddenly so clear to me. The fact is, this movie conjures up an emotion that I find much more difficult to deal with than fear or sorrow, it conjures up (quite literally even) anger. It's about nothing, if not anger.

The role of Ed Harley fits HENRIKSEN like a well-worn, workman's glove. Ed runs a small back road store. A humble sign declares "Harley's Groceries" and it's all kinds of charming when you notice the sign has been personally updated by hand to include "And Son." Ed is raising his young child Billy (MATTHEW HURLEY) on his own and, in a handful of brief scenes, it is made clear that the two have an exceptionally close bond. In fact, we get the idea that ALL they have is each other and it suites them both just fine. Billy is not your typical movie kid either, meaning he's not obnoxious; rather he comes across as sweet, humbly happy and a bit self conscious about the fact that he has to wear glasses. He dotes on his beloved dog in the same manner his dad dotes on him.

Enter the douchebags and I'm already starting to feel my blood boil; a group of arrogant, self-entitled twentysomething "city folk" roll on to the scene like they own the place bringing with them their loud stupid asshole motorbikes. They have a ringleader who's meant to be the biggest dick in the bunch but I seriously hate them all. This is actually the one weakness of the film for me, as it would really help the "horror" element if there were a single person in this group who I did not want to see mercilessly torn to shreds.

When Ed leaves Billy in the store to run an errand (Ed would NEVER do that but whatever) Billy gets smooshed by a moron's bike while chasing after his pooch. Ed returns to find his son splayed out in the grass and then, as he carries his broken body back towards the store, the lone remaining dumbass asks if he can help. It is at this point that LANCE HENRIKSEN throws a glare that is the absolute highlight of the movie for me. This guy can act. I can feel the vibrations of that laser beam hate stare as I write this now. Forget the titular creature, HENRIKSEN can dispatch an army of vengeance demons out of his peepers whenever he desires.

Filled with fury Ed tracks down a local witch to aid him in his revenge against the callus cretins who robbed him of his world. He has grown up hearing stories of a demon that can be summoned to balance the scales and has no trouble believing them as he once witnessed the creature bitch slapping a luckless victim as a child. Once activated, the demon operates like a speeding freight train of ruthless retaliation and cannot be stopped. The witch advises that one must simply wait for it to "run its course."

Unlike me, Ed eventually begins to have second thoughts about his choice of actions. He realizes as the line between himself and the monster blur that he is losing himself little by little to the manifestation of his anger. One of the film's poster taglines read "A grim fairy tale." And that sums up PUMPKINHEAD rather nicely. Although the opening is very much grounded in the real world once night falls we're strolling on the pages of a storybook. This is a morality tale about the price paid when we allow ourselves to be taken over by hate. I get that I really do but all things considered I still say sign me up.

PUMPKINHEAD is an impressive directorial debut from the late STAN WINSTON, one of the most talented men ever to work in the field of make-up and special effects. Cinematographer BOJAN BAZELLI would go on to help craft another visually stunning horror tale, 2002's THE RING. Although it wasn't a huge success upon original release, PUMPKINHEAD's reputation has solidified over the years and it's easy to identify it now as one the stronger and more original (not to mention atmospheric) horror films of its decade. If you ever find yourself cozying up to CGI, I would suggest checking out PUMKINHEAD again to remind yourself just what is being lost. The effect of Pumpkinhead himself is a joy to behold and it's obvious that WINSTON knew exactly how to present the beast to his best advantage.

No special effect however, can outshine LANCE HENRIKSEN's performance. It's absolutely impossible not to be moved by the pain he expresses on screen and this role gives him a chance to expose an earthy nurturing side that apparently comes naturally to the guy. I stand pleased now that I figured out exactly why I have been quietly keeping my distance from this movie for years. I hate to see HENRIKSEN suffer to this extreme. It really pisses me off.

NOTE: This post is part of the LANCE HENRIKSEN BLOGATHON! Jump on over to JOHN KENNETH MUIR's REFLECTIONS ON FILM AND TELEVISION for lots more HERE!

Stream Warriors: Dedications

Posted on By unkle lancifer

UNK SEZ: I'm going to play CASEY KASEM today and present my streaming recommendations with dedications like he used to do on his old countdown show. Yes, in my youth right after I finished a cave painting, I used to entertain myself by listening to a contraption called a radio!

My first pick is called GRAVEDANCERS (2006) and it is dedicated to reader LEE. LEE wrote in to tell me how much he enjoyed this move and I have to agree. GRAVEDANCERS was part of the first group of AFTER DARK'S "8 FILMS TO DIE FOR" and I think it was the only one I actually dug. It was directed by MIKE MENDEZ who also helmed the ADRIENNE BARBEAU ass-kick festival THE CONVENT. GRAVEDANCERS may not be classic material but it sure is a lot of fun. INSIDIOUS fans may want to give it a look-see as it shares some similar smiley-ghoul imagery and an equally healthy admiration towards the classic POLTERGEIST. For me it also brings back fond memories of the type of desecration provoked supernatural chills found in 1983's underrated ONE DARK NIGHT. I like the cast very much also and here's hoping CLARE KRAMER accepts the friendship request I just sent her on Facebook.

Next is a dedication to pal CRAFTYPANTS CAROL who recently revealed that, like me, she is koo-koo over the moon for 1982's STILL OF THE NIGHT. I seriously adore this HITCHCOCK wannabe and find that each viewing makes me somehow appreciate it a little bit more. It's really had a large effect on my taste in film and in opening me up to the fact that thrills needn't be gushy and blood soaked to have impact. It may seem like lunacy to suggest that sparks fly between stars ROY SCHEIDER and MERYL STREEP but I don't care what anyone says they do! There's a marvelous symbol soaked dream sequence that I think everybody needs to see at least once and the score and New York setting are highly memorable too. STILL OF THE NIGHT has never been available on DVD so I urge you to give this classy, moody thriller a chance on Netflix streaming soon.

Lastly I want to dedicate kindertrauma's best thoughts and condolences to the state of Alabama, which has suffered horribly destructive weather recently. Alabama is responsible for the production of our best pal and famed good luck charm "The Mickster" (whose birthday was yesterday!) and we hope that the state is on the mend and feeling better as quickly as possible. We heart ya Mickster and are glad that you and your family are safe. To all of our readers, have a peaceful, movie enhanced Sunday!

Traumafessions :: Reader David O. on The Changeling

Posted on By aunt john

I was reading a post this morning about the episode of THE WALTONS called "The Changeling," which I personally don't remember but now want to see, badly. Seeing the name of the episode immediately took me back to a scene in the movie THE CHANGELING with GEORGE C. SCOTT that scared the pants off of me as a kid and still elicits creepy memories and an avoidance of dark stairways.

The scene is when GEORGE is sitting in the study reading and a red ball comes bouncing down the stairs in the foyer. Perplexed, he picks it up and looks toward the top of the stairs, which are dark and foreboding. He picks up the ball and drives to a bridge, tosses the ball into the river below and returns home. As soon as he gets back to the house and takes off his coat the red ball comes bouncing back down the stairs. I was frightened enough the first time the ball bounced down from some unseen force's hand, but when it happened a second time I was nearly pissing myself. The feeling of dread and the question of, "Would I dare go up there to see who tossed it?" stuck with me. Living at my grandparent's house at the time they had an old stairway that led to the basement, with open slats between the stairs. I had spent many days frightened that some monster was living under the stairs waiting to reach through and grab my feet as I walked down. After watching THE CHANGELING I now added the rubber ball fear to my stairway phobia.

The entire film is creepy and frightening; really one of my favorites. It's really well-made and worth a viewing if you haven't done so. I've watched it numerous times since childhood and still don't like seeing that red rubber ball, or any red ball I come across.

— David