kindertrauma

Name That Trauma :: Reader Andrew D. on a Spirit in a Jar

Posted on By aunt john

Greetings! Love the site. Visit just about every day. Love taking a trip down memory lane with all the horror and suspense movies of my youth. I can't even begin to tell you also how many great flicks I've been turned onto. Was wondering about your help with a movie that has plagued me for many years.

Was never bothered by most horror movies (or the monsters/killers) but there was this one film that has always bothered me. Not sure if it was an actual theatre movie or made-for-T.V. Saw it maybe when I was between 10-13 (am 36 now). It involved several people (possible kids) digging up a glass bottle/mason jar out of the ground. After opening it (or having it break) a vengeful spirit/demon thing caused all sorts of mayhem until they managed to trap it back in another bottle at the end of the movie.

I remember it was really creepy and had an evil edge to it and it always bothered me that you could release something so evil on accident. Any ideas folks?

Name That Trauma :: Reader Mike A. on a Close Encounter of the Spoof Kind

Posted on By aunt john

Hey guys, I got a trauma that falls on the humorous side that I've been trying to locate for a few years now without any luck. Back in the 1980s HBO used to play quick funny shorts in between movies (Bambi vs Godzilla, etc…) and one of these was a spoof of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (my scariest movie as a kid). I can only recall a few bits but I'm hoping someone will recognize it.

1st Bit: In the original all the appliances in the house go crazy turning on and off when the aliens arrive. In the spoof the vacuum cleaner follows the little boy around and gobbles him up. The next scene he's thrashing around in the vacuum bag yelling, 'Let me outta here!'

2nd Bit: The famous scene in the original that was parodied was when RICHARD DREYFUSS is parked on the highway looking at his map, the mail boxes shake and his truck goes crazy. In the spoof his radio deck turns to a polka station and suddenly bubbles and streamers shoot out of the dashboard. When he looks at the mailboxes, instead of shaking they begin to bob around and sing a Motown tune (from what I recall) and if I'm not mistaken Darth Vader pulls up on a motorcycle and yells, 'You have to use the force!' then drives off.

Now I did have a vivid imagination as a kid, so I might not be specific on all this, yet if anyone knows that would be swell.

Thanks!

Mike A.

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Mike, I got some good news and I got some bad news for you. The good news is I remember this exact short, and it is called CLOSET CASES OF THE NERD KIND. The bad news is that it is long out-of-print, and although it looks like someone did try to sneak a copy of it up on the YouTubes, it was yanked for copyright violations. If it's any consolation, here's the other short you mentioned:

Traumafessions :: Reader Bigwig on Beyond & Back

Posted on By aunt john

beyond & back

In the mid '70s there was a movie, which was presented like a documentary, called BEYOND AND BACK. It dealt with accounts of real people who had "near death experiences," and acted out their narrated testimonies of walking down a hall to a bright light, with actors and special effects. I was young and my mother took me along. Since I was in a movie theatre, and I never saw anything but pure fiction on the big screen, watching this documentary was so out of its place that I held onto it as cold hard fact for a long time. I'm not sure what degree of factuality was behind it, and I've never seen it since.

Anyway, I don't remember most of it, which I think were numerous similar accounts of people walking to heaven, only to be turned around since it wasn't their time yet. Doctor's debated the actual weight of the human soul…that was another tangent they explored. All seemed rather mundane to little me.

That is, except for the last part…the shocker. This depicted the woman who attempted suicide, and didn't get the bright light treatment.

Instead, she experiences a hellish vision, which scared the jujubes out of me.

What I remember is she's in some dark bleak place, and is accosted by some "demons" or other, which had human faces with silly putty over their eyes. In my mind now, they appear almost as evil blind mimes. They made no sound. They held her down to the ground and forced her to view her living relatives and friends mourning her, from in the reflection of a mud puddle. After the shock and awe, she repents in horror, and is alive again.

I doubt there was much to it, and it probably was incredibly tame, but it rocked my boat enough for my mom to shuttle me off for ice cream afterwards, as she saw me looking pale. Thereafter came many a soul searching night for me, coupled with nightmares, wondering what I had to do to get the bright light walk….which, although easily the better of the two, still seemed awfully (and eternally) lonely to a nine-year-old….and that was the best you could hope for!

Anybody remember this one?

AUNT JOHN SEZ: Brace yourself Bigwig, and get your pint of Ben & Jerry's ready. The clip of which you speak features a muscle car driving bride-to-be from Gary, Indiana and no expense was apparently spared in recreating her after-life ordeal:

Name That Trauma :: Reader Jeffrey P. on Tots Terrorized by School Supplies

Posted on By aunt john

It's me again, the same one who told you about my fear of FRAGGLE ROCK and the THX logo! Now, I have a trauma that I don't remember much about. Here's what I remember:

Two kids were running out of a house and into some kind of van, or something like it, yelling, "We're going to the water slide! We're going to the water slide," in a sing-song kind of way. Then they look in the seats next to them and, from what I remember, they saw a bunch of school supplies next to them. That instant, they yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

That's all I remember, since it has been a very long time since I saw it. It would be a pleasure if anyone could track this down for me.

Love,

Jeffrey P.

Traumafessions :: Reader Eric McDade on the Send a Mouse to College Fund

Posted on By aunt john

send a mouse to college

Hey there,

Just wondering if you guys encountered the Send A Mouse To College Fund as kids.

The thrust of the fund was to get elementary school kids to beg for money from their parents and their parents' friends, which would eventually be used to pay for lab mice at, I suppose, local colleges and/or high schools.

Of course, being a kid, none of the grisly truth about what the money's actually for really makes its way to, past the idea that you get iron-ons and buttons for being a mule.

So you end up walking away with a sense of pride for having raised a bunch of money, as well as a new iron-on of a cutesy, cartoon mouse holding a diploma, wearing a graduation cap and gown neatly pressed onto your old, white Fruit of the Loom T-Shirt.

And of course, none of what you've taken part in hits you until you're in your mid-thirties.

Good times.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Thanks,

Eric McDade

AUNT JOHN SEZ: As an elementary school student of the late '70s and early '80s, I was subjected to brainwashing machinations of the cult known as R.I.F., and its super sexy spokesman ED ASNER:

We were too busy reading books to be bothered with sending cute little animals to death camps. And by the time I got to junior high, we had moved on to peddling Columbia House records and cassette tapes:

Did anyone else out there in Kindertrauma-land "Send a Mouse to College"? If so, please sound off in the comments. And if anyone managed to use the hard sell to convince their Mom to buy The Eurythmics Touch LP, we need to talk.

Name That Traumatot :: Round 10

Posted on By unkle lancifer

It's Friday and time for another rousing round of "Name That Traumatot!" Your Unkle Lancifer is going to sit this one out so the festivities will be hosted by super celebrity Aunt John. He'll give you the answers and clues when needed. After today you will have collectively identified 100 movies, pretty impressive stuff. Good luck kids!

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Posted on By unkle lancifer

Am I last kid on the block to watch JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER? I had been reading about it for some time, finally bought a copy and then just sat on it for months (literally- it somehow found its way under the couch)! Well, just in case there are any other stragglers out there even more lost in the eighties than I tend to be, here is a spiffy post all about how I finally watched it and how I think if you have not yet, you should.

JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER is about a guy named Timmy O'Tool, no, just kidding, it's about a guy named Jack Brooks and yeah, by the end of the flick he does indeed turn out to be a monster slayer! The movie has been compared to THE EVIL DEAD films and PETER JACKSON'S DEAD ALIVE, but try not to think about that because that will just leave you needlessly disappointed when you should be enjoying yourself. Personally, I was reminded of the criminally overlooked straight to DVD gem SOULKEEPER from 2001. (SOULKEEPER has the worst cover art in the history of the DVD, but it's a really entertaining supernatural romp with a DEBRA GIBSON cameo that should be seen by all! My hero in life BRAD DOURIF even shows up!) J.B. may also owe a tip of the trucker hat to an ass kicking gal named BUFFY which is just fine by obsessive Sunnydale dweller me.

When we first meet Jack he has some severe anger management issues which stem from a real life kindertrauma he endured. As a child Jack witnessed the slaughter of his family during a camping trip at the hands of a hideous creature. Therapy is useless and it is only when Jack owns up to his anger and channels it into the destruction of similar monsters that he finds his true calling. The first half of the film might lose some impatient viewers with its cartoon character development, but once Jack achieves self actualization it is wall-to-wall action garnished with joy inducing splatter and a highly appreciated zero CGI ratio. Somewhere in the future I am waiting in line to purchase its sequel and I'm very, very excited.

Here is where I give big props to horror legend ROBERT ENGLUND. Seeing his name on the DVD cover I wrongfully guessed that ENGLUND was going to show up, be ROBERT ENGLUND, grab a paycheck and then split. He's actually amazing in this movie and showcases some serious chops in the physical comedy department. Who knew? I've always been impressed with ENGLUND's ability to emote so much personality from behind a wall of makeup, but now I'm picturing an alternative universe where he might have been the second coming of JERRY LEWIS. Way to show me what an assuming closed minded twerp I am Mr. ENGLUND, I like it when actors do that!

TREVOR MATTHEWS does a fine job in the title role and is a breeze to hang out with for the course of the film. He's no BRUCE CAMPBELL but neither are you. Kudos also go to RACHEL SKARSTEN, if for nothing else than forcing me to contemplate the concept of latent heterosexuality. I'm going to throw this baby onto the ever growing pile of movies in my head that support the fact that if you want to see a good horror movie these days you're better off cranking up the T.V. and staying home. Turns out there's plenty of great stuff going on this decade, just maybe not at your local theater.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Guy T. on Orphans at Sea

Posted on By aunt john

O.K. not to be greedy… but there is a movie I saw as a kid, and it was a movie not a T.V. movie, and I think BOGART was in it. There were children on a ship (and this is like British navy, 19th century or a pirate from that era I think) and one falls from the rigging and dies, again with blood out of the nose. I guess that nosebleed death thing really got to me as a kid!

I have sort of searched through BOGART filmography and haven't really turned up anything, so I may be wrong about him, but there was definitely a ‘40s early ‘50s feel to the film and there were (orphan?) children on a ship. I think someone gets hanged in it as well.

UPDATE: NAME THAT TRAUMA SOLVED! Reader Senski truly is the captain of the S.S. Trauma for steering us towards A HIGH WIND IN JAMAICA.

Name That Trauma :: Reader Susan G. on a Possibly British Blob-Like Monster

Posted on By aunt john

This is what I remember.

In the late 1950s, I went to the movies with my older siblings; was dumped, so they could go off with their friends. I watched this movie 'alone' in a theater with a crowd of people:

Group has built a rocket, to go to the moon. There they will build a moon base. This base has several domes. Funds are cut. Project canceled. Ordered to shut down. Small meteor-like rocks are seen falling to earth on their radar. Investigation finds that the rocks explode and an alien gets inside the human and kills or takes over their body. Further investigation finds an identical moon base has been built on Earth. It is call a soup factory. Humans who have been taken over by the alien run this factory. They give tours, where humans are thrown into a vat to feed the alien, who looks like THE BLOB. Group with the rocket blast off the rocket to destroy the alien in the 'soup factory.' The base is destroyed, but, THE BLOB-like alien is set loose. It terrorized me. Finally it was killed. This movie was set in a country where the police sirens sounded like "it was Great Britain."

So did I image this? Is it a combination of scary movies I saw, that I did not want to see? I have searched for this film. I don't have nightmares anymore, BUT I did for too many years. Can anybody help me find the name of this film?

Thanks,

Susan

UPDATE: Name That Trauma SOLVED! Special thanks to Reader Senski for knowing that this Blob came from 1957's QUARTERMASS 2.

Mommy

Posted on By aunt john

mommy

If W.C. FIELDS was known for his reluctance to working with kids and animals, then there should be a list of actors that both child and four-legged performers should avoid at all costs. Based solely on her less than subtle performance in MOMMY, and I do mean that in the nicest was possible, PATTY McCORMACK tops my short list of actors children should not work with. On paper, MOMMY loosely reads like an imaginary sequel to McCORMACK's most infamous work THE BAD SEED. Imagine if little Rhoda Penmark grew up, spawned a tow-headed daughter, became an alpha-Mom, and left a body count in her wake when said daughter Jessica Ann (the completely overwhelmed and out of her league RACHEL LEMIEUX) is overlooked for student of the year. In actuality though, MOMMY has too much working against it to rightfully be considered the heir apparent to the BAD SEED.
mommy

For starters, you know something is terribly wrong with a movie when you can barely hear the lead child actress mumble over the score. The omnipresent music in MOMMY takes on a life of its own and drowns out just about everyone except for McCORMACK who belts out every line like she is performing for the back row in a theatre production. I know the budget on this one was paltry, but surely there was a boom mike on set. Dial it down a notch PATTY! Taking the opposite approach is JASON MILLER (THE EXORCIST's Father Karras) as the chain-smoking Lieutenant March hot on the heels of our murderous matriarch. Self-aware enough to realize that this vehicle is beneath his esteemed horror pedigree, his boredom is palpable.
mommy

Had MOMMY played it for laughs, like JOHN WATERS' SERIAL MOM, it could be a contender as a camp classic. It features cameos by MAJEL BARRETT, the "First Lady" of STAR TREK and crime writer MICKEY SPILLANE, as well as undisputed B-Queen BRINKE STEVENS as the oddly eye-browed Aunt Beth. Not even this troika, bolstered by MILLER, can wrestle MOMMY away from McCORMACK. It's ultimately her showcase, albeit a sorely disappointing one. Both she and the legacy of Rhoda Penmark both deserve much better.