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Michael Jackson :: The Good, the Bad & the Monkey

July 1st, 2009 by unkle lancifer · 18 Comments

I’m really sad about this whole MICHAEL JACKSON being dead thing, but I have found some solace in the fact that it seems that everywhere I have gone in the last couple days his music is being played. I have to say, “The Way You Make Me Feel” and “Off the Wall” are a lot better than I remembered. On the other hand, the resurgence of “Dirty Diana” is really starting to get on my last nerve. I HATE that song and no amount of untimely death seems able to cure me of that distaste. The chorus alone sounds like how it must feel to have someone remove a blackhead from the tip of your nose with a rusty chisel. M.J., What were you thinking?

I know this has a questionable (or perhaps alleged) affinity with the subject of kindertrauma, but out of curiosity and an honest desire to speed along the grieving process, I ask you dear readers: What is your favorite AND least favorite tune by the King of Pop? I know talking about your least favorite song might seem like a negative way to recognize the recently departed, but if Mike has taught us anything it is that sometimes you have to take the good with the BAD (pun recognized).

So spill your guts kids. What M.J. song begrudgingly gets your toe tapping and what song still makes you want to smack an anonymous stranger over the head with a 2 X 4?

Tags: Kinder-Editorial · Kinder-News · Kinder-Spotlight · Trauma Au Courant

18 responses so far ↓

  • 1 lilystrangeNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 6:33 am

    Gaaah! I hate those WordPress passwords. Who can remember them? I store them but am on a different computer, so, what a pain in the butt!
    Beyond that rant…
    My favorite Michael Jackson songs are Thriller and Smooth Criminal. I’m with you on Dirty Diana. I think he was trying to be a little too Prince a la Darling Nikki. For the record, I don’t like that song either. Although it fits the whole Prince personna better than Dirty Diana fits the Michael Jackson personna.
    I feel bad about the jokes I sometimes made regarding the whole Wacko Jacko character that emerged in the media. Only my “inner circle” of fellow bloggers ever saw them but they were kind of mean. I always had sympathy for Michael Jackson because of the abuse endured by his father and was ripping on the media’s characterization on him rather than on Michael Jackson the person, but still, it wasn’t cool.
    It takes a big person to admit their mistakes and I am a big person–about 250 pounds worth of big person. However, I am no longer referring to myself as fat. I am still overweight but working on it!
    The blog in question is Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine and it’s satire. The tag line is “All the news from the Netherworld about the hottest Undead Rock musicians. And Death Cheese too.” It features not only both living and undead musicians but space aliens and Lovecraftian beasts. If you ever have the stomach to check it out it’s at
    But if you don’t, I wouldn’t blame you!
    The latest Michael Jackson post is much kinder than the others, although it does involve him working with a giant fly.

  • 2 Dylan Donnie-DukeNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 6:45 am

    Fav= Thriller.
    Surely a kindertrauma staple. I watched the video endlessly in elementary school, could recite the Vincent Price bridge at the drop of a hat and attempted to emulate MJ’s stylin’ dance moves on the playground.

    Least Fav= Ben.
    An ode to a rat. Just. Plain. Creepy.

  • 3 senskiNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 7:00 am

    Oh, I’m glad I get first dibs on the worst – “The Girl Is Mine” with Paul McCartney. This was released a couple of months before the full-length “Thriller” LP hit stores, and us music fans were horrified. THIS treacly piece of cheese was the leading effort from Jackson’s much-ballyhooed “Off the Wall” follow-up? That dialogue bridge (“Now, Michael, we’re not gonna fight about this…”) induces pain. Considering all the tributes I’ve heard in the last week, this song is conspicuous in its absence (as is “Say, Say, Say,” recorded earlier but a decidedly more listenable effort). But then “Billie Jean” was released as a single two months later, and all was forgiven…and TGIM was eclipsed in the shadow of the monumental singles that followed.

    As for best, there have been fewer greater dance-floor workouts from the post-Disco era than “Wanna Be Startin’ Something.” When I was a dj in the 80s, this was one of those dependable tracks that cleared the chairs and got every butt on the floor, and I’ve heard talented djs work this groove for over a half-hour. That is one insistent rhythm track!

  • 4 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:04 am

    Bestest: P.Y.T. (Creepiness aside, it has a good beat and I can really dance to it!)

    Worstest: Any of the collaborations with the Black Eyed Peas on the Thriller 25th Anniversary re-release. Fergie has no business going anywhere near “Beat It.”

  • 5 TenebrousKateNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:22 am

    Y’know, there are THREE of those incredible Jacko-n-Bubbles gold leaf/ceramic statues by Jeff Koons in the world. I’d like to try to scrape together the $6 million (probably significantly more than that now *sobs*) to purchase one and plunk it down out side the Kindertrauma Kastle. Barring that–we can stage a daring sneak-raid on the San Fran Museum of Modern Art and load that baby into a flatbed truck! A fitting tribute to the King of Pop, yes?

  • 6 mamamiasweetpeachesNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:27 am

    My favorite is Beat It, but thats probably because theres a legitimate guitar solo in there (That was Eddie Van Halen, right??) I also love the Off the Wall Stuff (Off The Wall, Shake Your Body Down To The Ground, Dont Stop Til You Get Enough, Working Day And Night) and Billie Jean, PYT, Wanna Be Starting Something and Thriller. I -for one- liked Dirty Diana cuz I was a metal head at the time and THAT was the closest Michael Jackson was ever going to get to metal. I liked Smooth Criminal too…anmd thats the last song by him I really liked.

    I hated all that “Dont Matter If Your Black Or White” or “The Way You Make Me Feel” stuff.

    Song I Never liked Before That Im Starting To Think About Downloading Since He Died? “Bad”.

  • 7 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:30 am

    @TK: I’ve got some PTO days coming up my day job, so I’d be down with a three-day weekend art heist. If things don’t pan out in San Fran, we can always try the LACMA in LA.

  • 8 wings1295No Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 10:32 am

    I watched a lot of MJ’s videos last night, and I had forgotten how good he was in the 80s. One song I did listen to, “Butterflies”, I didn’t care for.

    Favorite, though? I don’t know. “Man In The Mirror” is good, but so many from “Thriller” are great, too. Hard to choose!

  • 9 micksterNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 11:38 am

    I watched so many Michael Jackson videos over the weekend. I watched Thriller at least five times, which was awesome. All my favorites are from Off the Wall and Thriller of course. For all-time favorite I will have to choose Thriller. Michael Jackson + Vincent Price= magic!
    I only like 3 songs off the Bad album (Bad, Man in the Mirror, and Smooth Criminal). Pretty much after that I didn’t like his music anymore.

  • 10 NiNiNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    Am I the only one who’s deeply saddened seeing the Making of Thriller, showing as it does a younger Michael who hasn’t yet built that “King of Pop” edifice around himself? Watching John Landis do his “This is Michael Jackson’s foot” thing nowadays is enough to make you wanna weep.

    Unk, I’m with you on “Dirty Diana”. It’s sad because the song starts out with potential to be an interesting MJ take on a Prince-like sound, but the chorus is just plain irritating and cringeworthy.

    I actually warmed a bit to other tracks on “Bad”, especially “The Way You Make Me Feel” and “Smooth Criminal”, but still don’t like the material from “Dangerous” at all, sadly.

    And I’ve had “Billie Jean” stuck in my head for the last 3 days, I fear it is going to drive me insane.

  • 11 WarpedRecordNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    My favorite Michael Jackson song is easily “Farewell My Summer Love,” a sad, sweet song that takes me back to traumas many years ago. “One Day in Your Life” is a good bookend to that tune, and both songs are particularly traumatic now.

    Honorable mentions to “Man in the Mirror,” “Stranger in Moscow” and “I Just Can’t Stop Lovin’ You.”

    Least favorite? Woah, where do I start? I agree that “Dirty Diana” is wretched, as is “They Don’t Care About Us” (and by “us,” of course he meant “me”), “Scream,” “Tabloid Junkie” and “Heal the World.” But I’d rather not dwell on the B.A.D.

    Michael was a tremendous talent but a traumatized soul. He is at peace now, and he left us some tremendous music to remember him but (as well as a few turkeys). Farewell, my summer love!

  • 12 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 2:15 pm


    I was so hoping somebody would mention “Heal the world” that would be my #2 least favorite.

    That treacly song about starving children is a real party killer and a blatant rehash of the already annoying “we are the world”

    “Liberian girl” is a super crappy song but the video gets big props for introducing Suzanne Summers to Bubbles the chimp…

  • 13 Amanda By NightNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    I love pretty much everything on Thriller and choosing a favorite would be hard. Maybe Human Nature. I dunno.

    Least fave? That’s hard too because I kind of dropped of after Thriller. I only vaguely remember Dirty Diana, and by the looks of it, that’s probably for the best!

    I feel bad for MJ because, as some have said above, he had quite a tragic life and seemed to spend his entire adulthood trying to be the child he never got to be. I hope he’s found some peace wherever he is.

  • 14 godmonsterNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    After talking with my wife I had to agree, “We Are The World” is my least favorite Michael Jackson song. Even worse than “Rockin Robin”. It seemed quite inspired at the time, but has not stood the test of time. Now it just sounds way hammy and over done to me, sappy. For the best it would be really hard to pick a favorite, But “Black or White”, “Bad” (awesome!) “Man in the Mirror” and “Smooth Criminal” all rival anything from “Thriller”, which is an undeniable masterpiece. I even sang “Ben” at a local talent show a few years back. We love you Michael, but like Elvis, you were already missed before you were dead. So sad.

  • 15 WarpedRecordNo Gravatar // Jul 1, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    Hello, Unkle Lucifer:

    That whole “HIStory” anthology is completely creepy, even though the first disc has some mighty nice tunes.

    Of course, there’s the cover with the Orwellian statue of Michael, and the art inside of the little girl being bound. And of course that dedication on the back “to all my children of the world.” I wonder if you’d be allowed to excerpt it here?

    And no one’s even mentioned “Childhood” yet. Ugh! Michael left much that will embarrass him into eternity in addition to the Jackson jewels.

  • 16 powersgirlNo Gravatar // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:29 am

    Worst – You Are Not Alone

    Best – Thriller – which I think is still some of his best work and who doesn’t love that video, especially the zombies all rocking out.

  • 17 JennyMNo Gravatar // Jul 3, 2009 at 9:57 am

    I have to say I only liked Thriller because of the video. I was never really a fan and never have been. I guess I am in the minority. I am not really affected by his death and quite frankly I am tired of it being all over the news.

    Dirty Diana is the absolute worst. They had it playing in TGIF about a month ago and it was on way too loud. I asked them to turn it down. It makes me want to punch someone in the gut.

  • 18 rene ponacNo Gravatar // Jul 9, 2009 at 1:26 am

    The first tune I ever learned on the electric bass was ‘I want to rock with you’, in my opinion a fantastic quincy jones production. I also loved ‘the Wiz’ because I am essentially quite cheesy by temperament. My least favorite might be ‘ebony and ivory’. that is a potent cringe producer for me. Even I have my standards………

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