Traumafessions :: Kinderpal Eric (a.k.a. FilmFather) on Sasquatch: The Legend of Bigfoot
In the long-standing tradition of how even bad movies can have trailers that scare the crap out of kids…
During the Bigfoot craze of the '70s, a docu-drama was released in 1977 called SASQUATCH: THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT. I never saw the film as a kid, but a scene at the end of the trailer stuck in my mind for the rest of my childhood. I couldn't find the trailer online (it was removed from YouTube), but the scene I remember is in the actual film. Check out the intro to SASQUATCH below, and jump to the 1:40 mark:
The freeze-frame on the monstrous silhouette…that howling cry…the zoom of the title…somebody hold me…I'm so cold…
As a kid, I had nightmares of that shadow appearing at the top my attic stairs so many times; I swore that before I rediscovered this footage, I thought Bigfoot was in a stairwell in this scene, not in the woods.
For those who want to see this supposedly sub-par film, it's available on YouTube starting HERE
UNK SEZ: I remember this one! I'll never forget the image of Bigfoot standing on a hill and throwing rocks down at people, and at the time, I had no problem believing that the whole thing was real. By the way FilmFather, you've really opened up a can of hairy worms over here at Kindertrauma Castle, we are now fully engulfed in Bigfoot mania as you will soon see. Bigfoot movies and especially the G-rated faux documentary types like this one, and my personal favorite THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK, really capture a specific time that is sorely missed. I used to be very impressed with Bigfoot, now it seems that he only does broad comedy and prefers parts were he plays a buffoon. He's like the JOHN C. REILLY of the cryptozoology set! Well, it's about time he's remembered as the true traumatizer that he was born to be! Stay tuned!
P.S.: For more of our kinderpal Eric (who recently reviewed the awesome GRIZZLY!) go stop by his neck of the woods @ FilmFather!
Name That Trauma :: Kinderpal Mickster on a Story Record Involving a Guy Turned Into a Werewolf With a Bloody Pentagram in the Palm of His Hand
I grew up living on a cul-de-sac in a small southern town. My parents were very strict about knowing where I was at all times and this was before child abductions were all over the news. In the summer time, my mother didn't allow me to stay in the house during the day if the weather was pleasant. As soon as I was dressed and had breakfast I was pushed out the door and only allowed to come inside for lunch or bathroom breaks.
Well, I had away around that problem when I played with the girls next door. Their babysitter allowed them to play in her house when they wanted. If the day were particularly hot, we would retreat into the house to play. We mostly played with our Barbie's, but sometimes we would listen to story records.
There were two records in particular that we listened to in order to scare ourselves out of our wits. One was "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" read by BORIS KARLOFF and the other I can't identify (It was about a guy turning into a werewolf).
We would turn out the lights and close the curtains to make it as dark as possible. The younger of the two sisters was quite a whinier so we would do our best to freak her out, unfortunately, most of the time we ended up freaking ourselves out in the process.
I was fortunate enough to find "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow" read by BORIS KARLOFF on-line recently. I can't find the other record though. All I remember about it is that some guy turns into a werewolf and they describe a bloody pentagram in the palm of his hand.
I would be eternally grateful if someone could identify this story record for me. I have faith that Unkle Lancifer, Aunt John, or the readers of Kindertrauma will be able to help solve this mystery.
UNK SEZ: Mickster, it's sort of a shot in the dark but I was able to track down these two werewolf records. Let me know if either looks familiar. I also found THIS WEBSITE which is devoted to "Power Records." The cool thing is that in the case of "The Curse of the Werewolf" you can not only read the comic found inside, but also listen to the record as well. I gave it a listen, but unfortunately there was no mention of that bloody pentagram on the palm that you vividly recall, so this is probably not the one you're looking for. (It's a fun listen just the same). Does anyone out there remember this record kinderpal Mickster is looking for? If so, drop us a line, either in the comment section or via email! Good luck Mickster!
STATUS: SOLVED! (yeah Mickster!!!) See comments section for more info.
Name That Trauma :: Reader Jory on a Man-Melting Robot
When I was very young I saw something that was absolutely disturbing on my friend's television. From what I remember, it was a commercial for a movie or show about evil robots. I remember most of the shots being scary, but one shot in particular disturbed me. It was a shot of a black, classic looking robot with very square shoulders and a triangular head melting a man in front of his family. The robot had its hands on his shoulders and was pushing him into the ground. The man was down to his waist and the rest of him was a circular steaming puddle. He looked to be in agony.
UNK SEZ: Yikes, that sounds like another hard one. Does anybody out there know of what Jory speaks? If so, leave a comment or send an email. I've never heard of a robot that can turn a man into a steaming puddle. I thought robots only attacked old people to use their medicine for fuel. In fact, I don't even know why the scientists make them…
The Unseen
If you're hungry for the elaborate squishy kills usually associated with early eighties horror, THE UNSEEN might leave you high and dry. This throwback with its crusty Victorian homestead and basement full of family secrets walks in the long shadow of PSYCHO even going so far as aping its superior's voyeuristic eye for bathing blonds.
Beauty BARBARA BACH stars as ace reporter Jennifer Fast, hot on the story of the century, documenting a North California Dutch street fair. (Wait ‘till the big wigs see her footage of the red rider wagons handsomely decorated in aluminum foil!) Although obviously a mover and a shaker, Jennifer is denied a hotel room due to no fault of her own and is left along with two tag along, doomed-from-the-get-go pals to rely on the kindness of strangers to put a roof over her head. Strangers don't come any stranger than pot bellied jittery stutterer Ernest Keller (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST escapee SYDNEY LASSICK), but when you're desperate, you're desperate and who wants to be left on the street when there are crazed Dutch revelers about? Jennifer is unaware that her estranged boyfriend Tony Ross (DOUGLAS BARR of DEADLY BLESSING & THE FALL GUY) has followed her and her friends. Thanks to a football injury, he's about as useful in the events ahead as a screen door on a submarine, but he does make a fine chauffeur.
Once in the Keller home we are introduced to my favorite character in the film, Ernest's wife/spoiler-alert sister Virginia (LELIA GOLDONI), an obvious graduate of the VERONICA CARTWRIGHT school of self-composure. Soon Jennifer's pals are being tugged into (eat your heart out THE BOOGENS!), and bashed in the face with, heating vents and it's gleaned that Virginia's basket case disposition is warranted. As it turns out Flounder from ANIMAL HOUSE (STEPHEN FURST) is trapped in the basement condemned by a local witch's curse to perform RIDING THE BUS WITH MY SISTER to an audience of zero for all of eternity. O.K., that's not true, he's the Keller's incest spawn and I know you're not allowed to say "retard" anymore, so let's just say he's special. In this case special means stopping just short of dropping to the ground like CURLY from the THREE STOOGES and spinning about in a circle screeching a-woo-woo-woo! It also means when you clock a chick in the skull with a metal heating grate she's done.
This is where THE UNSEEN kind of looses me. All of the sudden we are meant to feel sympathy for the monster baby who KILLED TWO PEOPLE and transfer our fear over to his far less threatening Daddy Ernie. What's the point of that? Did they think they would receive an image award from the disability advocacy community? That ship sort of sailed when Flounder shoved a teddy bear down the front of his diaper, went for a joyride on what I think was a vacuum cleaner, and then dived into the nearby pile of garbage that he uses as a bed.
As disappointing as this too-little-too-late I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY-type insincere display of a conscience is, I have much love for THE UNSEEN. For a movie with the paltry body count of a mere four (that's including the villain AND a decapitated chicken!), I think it's really special.
Traumafessions :: Zack of Film Thoughts on Puppet Master
I was a pretty skittish kid, as my previous traumafession about a book cover should attest to. It didn't take a lot to give me nightmares and horror movies terrified me. However, this fear eventually developed into a morbid curiosity and I decided to watch some of these movies. After seeing THE OMEN and a few others, I was hooked and became the horror nut I am today.
You wouldn't expect much to get to me after the seriously creepy OMEN, but sometimes kindertrauma comes from unexpected places. I was staying over with a friend of mine for the first time, this was during the early to mid-nineties and I was probably seven or eight. During the summers, the Sci-Fi Channel would show themed movie marathons every night. That night the marathon was the first three PUPPET MASTER movies. I didn't really want to watch them because the idea of killer toys really freaked me out at the time, and still does to a certain extent. But my friend insisted and I didn't want to be a stick in the mud, so a bowl of popcorn was popped, the lights were dimmed, and we sat down to enjoy the show.
I actually really enjoyed the movies, plausibly because most of the really nasty gore was edited out for television or because all of PUPPET MASTER movies have kind of a non-threatening comic book tone about them. Either way, I got through all three with nary a problem. Or so I thought.
That night, when I finally went to sleep, I had a nightmare involving those pesky puppets. I don't remember much beyond two of the little critters, the bladed-hand, KLAUS KINSKI-type and the one with a drill for a head, chasing me up the stairs of my home. And, since this was a nightmare, I couldn't run and could only slowly stumble up the stairs. Naturally, I woke up in a cold sweat just as the malevolent marionettes were about to close in on me. I didn't sleep for the rest of the night. I didn't want to risk the teasing I would have gotten if I woke my friend up, so I had to fake sleeping for the reminder of the night. I remember jumping at every odd noise or shadow.
I figured the bad dream was just because I was anxious about my first sleepover. But, nope, because later that year, during Christmas break, when I ended up watching another one of the series entries, I had the same damn dream. Except it was Christmas time, which made the whole thing even eerier. Obviously CHARLES BAND's creations had spooked me on a subconscious level. Needless to say (but I'll say it anyway), I swore the franchise off for years. Until recently, when I bought the box set on a whim and all the memories came flooding back. I've been enjoying the movies, am excited about the recently announced new sequel, and haven't had any nightmares.
Yet.
UNK SEZ: ZACK, Thanks for bringing up PUPPET MASTER. I'm always amazed by the loyalty that series inspires. Some folks are just mad about those films and know every little minutia of detail about it's timelines and characters. Who would have thought after the first film that this whole little mini-universe would be created and with such a loyal following? It's also funny you should mention the puppet Blade's resemblance to KLAUS KINSKI, original PUPPETMASTER Director DAVID SCHMOELLER worked with KINSKI on the 1986 movie CRAWLSPACE. Apparently the two did not get along as well as KINSKI and often collaborator WERNER HERZOG ,for where HERZOG made a documentary about his relationship with KLAUS entitled MY BEST FIEND, SCHMOELLER'S nine minute doc on the same subject matter is entitled PLEASE KILL MR. KINSKI!
To read more by Zack, be sure to check his blog Film Thoughts.
Traumafessions :: Reader Tony on Siskel & Ebert
I would like to tell you about my first real introduction to the world of horror movies.
Up until this point in my life I had just heard whispers of these kinds of movies out on the playground. My friend Carla had an older brother who had tricked her into watching a movie called CARRIE on television with a promise that there would be cartoons afterwards. The next day she was traumatized… she told me all about the movie, blow by blow… I was shivering right there underneath the jungle gym just hearing about it. I had never seen a real horror movie (besides a Bigfoot documentary that gave me nightmares (but that's another story).
It was about 1980, I was in the 3rd grade. My mom and me were hanging out in the living room one sunny afternoon listening to some K-tel albums. After the 'Star Point' record was over we decided to turn on the TV, boy was I in for a surprise.
The show SISKEL & EBERT SNEAK PREVIEWS was on and they happened to be doing an entire segment on Slasher movies and Scream Queens… I was intrigued… I was scared out of my mind; I would never be the same.
I vividly remember being frozen with fear watching the scene from FRIDAY THE 13TH where a hitchhiking woman is chased through the woods and murdered against a tree with a hunting knife… this was then followed like a one-two punch by JAMIE LEE CURTIS shrieking inside a closet being stalked by the 'Shape in HALLOWEEN… oh my God that music was so horribly scary!! (But cool)… my little mind could not comprehend why they would make movies to scare people!
Even though I was terrified, my interest in horror was definitely piqued! Ever since that day I have officially been a devout horror movie junkie.
UNK SEZ: Tony, my brother from another mother, my introduction to HALLOWEEN and consequently real horror fanaticism was also via Siskel and Ebert (or as my friend Maggie called them, Pork and Beans). Ironically, as much as they were opposed to a lot of the slasher films of that time, I'd tune in just to watch the clips that they would show of them. They inadvertently turned me on to THE EVIL DEAD as well, which I remember them giving a negative review to. Strange that two people with such different views as my own could be such a big influence on my life and so many others. They'll both always get two big thumbs up from me, regardless of their sometimes questionable taste!
Name That Trauma :: Reader Emma on Very Bloody, Possibly Very Dead, Twins in a Cabin
I only saw this once, and afterwards I wondered for years if I didn't simply imagine it. It was a t.v. show, the beginning depicting a small cabin set in a field or else beside a lake–this has been years so I don't recall exactly–and the view pans in through the window, to show a bed inside the room, moonlight spilling across the sleeping forms of two small children–twins, if memory serves. I can't recall why it was so eerie, but I think it was because the two were either very, very bloody, or very obviously dead. A creepy-sounding voice-over guy called the program 'Night Visions.'
I didn't see much of it, just that bit and a snippet later on–a man dressed in a white T-shirt, very sweaty, was frantically trying to escape from some kind of building, apparently finding doors locking in front of him at every turn. I remember this one by the music: That song about how 'Everything's great when you're down-town' by Dolly Parton was playing in the background, and I recall thinking how clearly, everything was not great for him in this case.
Am I just going nuts or was this an actual program?
UNK SEZ: Emma your memory serves you well, NIGHT VISIONS was a TWILIGHT ZONE– type anthology show that ran for one season in 2001. Directors that lent their talent to the program included JOE DANTE (THE HOWLING) TOBE HOOPER (POLTERGEIST) and KEITH GORDON ( Arnie in CHRISTINE and director of THE CHOCOLATE WAR). Actors BILL PULLMAN, BRIAN DENNEHY and JOBETH WILLIAMS also gave the director's chair a try for this short lived series hosted by HENRY ROLLINS. If you don't mind being bombarded by commercials you can watch episodes HERE. (Forgive me, I intended to track down the specific one you mentioned, but I couldn't take the SUPER LOUD annoying ads that popped up every two minutes. Are they kidding with that crap? Christ on a cracker, Honey Bunches Of Oates, relax, I GET IT!!!! Your product is soooo down to earth and the employees that work in your factory are total ga-ga moonies who are thrilled to be there everyday. Now do you mind stepping back out of my face for a hot second? You have milk-breath.)
Communion
What is up with COMMUNION, the 1989 CHRISTOPHER WALKEN movie based on WHITLEY STRIEBER's best seller about alien abduction? A thread on IMDb's discussion board for the film entitled "Worth seeing for one scene" currently has 91 responses. Somebody hit a nerve. The scene in question takes place early in the film where WALKEN, as STRIEBER, wakes up in the middle of the night and wonders aloud if there is another presence in the room. His suspicion is validated in the form of a half obscured, dark-eyed alien face staring back at him. Many who had watched the film as children claim that this scene still remains the scariest that they have ever witnessed, some revealing that it still haunts them even to this very day. It is undeniably eerie, but its real strength lies in the fact that it strikes a familiar, recognizable cord. Who amongst us, especially as children, has not awoken in the dark with just such a feeling? Squinting our eyes, trying to make out shapes, perhaps not being too comforted by what we imagine we see lurking in the shadows.
The fact that the scene occurs early on before the movie itself has had time to lose the audience's faith in what it's selling only adds to its other worldly power. For COMMUNION is such a bizarre, I should say "experience" rather than film that many viewers certainly WILL be throwing in the towel and jumping off this runaway train before the end credits roll. I myself could never put my glowing E.T. finger on whether the movie is an out-and-out hilarious disaster of epic proportions or a well calculated assault on human consciousness. When you consider that director PHILIPPE MORA is also responsible for THE HOWLING 2: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF signs point to the former, but yet I'm still undecided. True, MORA does the unthinkable by allowing WALKEN free reign to riff and improvise as he sees fit. As endlessly fascinating as this is, and WALKEN is never more lovable than he is in this picture, the unleashing of the Mad Hatter tends to work as a reality vacuum throughout the film. Was this his intention? MORA must be aware of what he's creating, there is nary a shot in the film that does not have some sort of unsettling malevolent object hiding in the corner and there's a willful use of disjointed angles and discomforting close-ups throughout.
Exposing WALKEN's brilliant lunacy is not difficult, but MORA is somehow able to make the usually dignified LINDSAY CROUSE seem equally certifiable. Are the maddening improvisations between the two stars meant to add realism or abolish it? Trust me, if I started quoting the strange interactions between the two, we'd be here all day. By film's end, they're looking straight at the camera and babbling abstractions like drunk relatives whose car keys need to be taken away. The audience has three choices, dismiss the entire affair as trash, begin jolting down the dialogue and form a ROCKY HORROR type cult complete with sold out midnight showings, or simply succumb to this surreal, dimension-shattering celluloid DMT trip. I do believe if you allow it, this film, like the alien invaders who occupy it, will "break you." (Perhaps COMMUNION is the dreamer and you are the dream). I am prepared to back up that assertion with photographic evidence. Do the below un-doctored pictures look like they came from a film that is NOT capable of pushing sensitive souls over the edge?
Whether the film is "good" or "bad" to me, finally, is a non-issue. COMMUNION obviously exists on more than one plane at once, it's a floor wax AND a delicious desert topping. It's a jack in the box with YOUR face on it, a clockwork banana peel, a hoot owl in spats dancing the Bossa nova while singing WHITE CHRISTMAS and delivering an unwanted anal probe as a shadow passes over the moon. It doesn't make rational sense, and why should it? Neither does that presence that wakes you up in the middle of the night and stares at you from across the room…
Several films have been made about aliens and their abductees, but COMMUNION plows its own private psychological terrain, ultimately owing more to KEN RUSSELL than STEPHEN SPIELBERG. It's nuts, it's eccentric, and it's far too freaky to ever garner mainstream appeal (then again, that was probably once the consensus about WALKEN). Ironically, once you realize it is an internal rather than external journey, the universe it presents you with expands greatly. The aliens may look like strung marionettes and CROUSE's hypnosis session a discarded MAD TV skit, but no matter how hard I'm laughing throughout, I'm always left wonderfully dazed and confused. Another director could have possibly made a more distinguished film out of this material, but really what fun would that be? Besides, if the response on IMDb is any indication, COMMUNION succeeded with flying colors in at least one scene. I may hate myself in the morning, but go ahead, count me in amongst the permanently altered believers.
Note: Just like every film ever made, COMMUNION is even better in Spanish.
