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The Child Catcher from CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG… he was my personal childhood nightmare.
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There are few moments in any film that still haunt me from childhood. I was into horror films whole-heartedly at a young age, my cherry-popper being the original NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET on VHS at around 1st or 2nd grade. After that I went through the HALLOWEEN's, FRIDAY the 13th's, and subsequent ELM STREETS's like a fire burning through southern California in October. I feel compelled to write about one such film that still creeps my once-Catholic soul. Since the only thing as a youth that really scared me was being in church, I still get that bottomless pit stomach feeling when I hear the song, "God is in His Holy Temple…" from POLTERGEIST II. It's the Reverend Henry Kane who can send me back to being 8 years old. Carol-Anne had it rough, the scene in the strip mall when Kane comes up and sings that creepy song to her, holding her hands, smiling at her with those huge teeth, I'm surprised HEATHER O'ROURKE didn't need therapy after that. What really gets me to this day is when Kane comes strolling up to the house in the rain, singing his song, and asks to be let inside. As he peers deeply into CRAIG T. NELSON's eyes, he starts predicting his fears and inadequacies as a husband and father. Then, more forcefully through the screen door, he demands, "Let me in!". If I recall that part in a dream tonight, there is a good chance I might wet the bed. Those old man teeth, those piercing eyes, the hat, that whole religious zealot personality that says "Hey, come join us for the mass suicide!" It proves that religious folks with a scary hats can be just as frightening as a masked guy with a knife. When He screams, "You're gonna die in hell! All of you! You are gonna die!" it's perfectly chilling and holds up just as well today as it did in 1986. Let's not forget the song, "Earthly thoughts, be silent now…".
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I saw a lot of terrifying movies growing up in long island mostly at my friend John's house who's mother didn't care about what we watched and it was usually what people would consider not appropriate for children… [I] had to pretend I didn't see a lot of these movies later on for my mom. When I was 8, we watched part of Lucio Fulci's ZOMBIE, which all I remember was the shark, the ripping and devouring of human flesh like it reminded me of a big sloppy meatloaf cake. We both ran out of the house grossed out but it was kinda fun to run away from creepy things that can't possibly get you.
Remember kids, write in so we can post your TRAUMAFESSION and then you can be all cool like Eric!
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You knew it was just a matter of time! It's not cheap maintaining the lifestyle we've grown accustomed to. Yoo-hoo baths and mallomars don't grow on trees! Kindly visit our new sponsors frequently. And remember if you can't read the text it simply means you have a detached retina and are going blind! Go buy a cane!
Aside from cranking out some of the finest prime-time soap operas to ever grace the small screen, uber producer Aaron Spelling also had a hand in executive producing some of the more memorable supernatural movies-of-the-week in the ‘70s. CROWHAVEN FARM stars HOPE LANGE and PAUL BURKE, as Maggie, a legal secretary prone to bouts of puritanical déjà vu, and Ben Porter, her annoyingly insecure, stay-at-home artist husband. Maggie inherits the titular country estate from some dead relative after the original inheritor dies in an automotive explosion. Upon arriving at the farm, Maggie is overcome by an eerie sense of familiarity and the desire to hightail it out of there. Useless husband Ben decides that the barn would be the perfect place to set up a studio and a gallery for his uninspired abstract creations. Somewhat bored, and somewhat spooked by the onslaught of premonitions featuring angry pilgrims, Maggie goes back to work since Ben can't seem to earn a living. Unannounced, a pack of swingers swing by Crowhaven Farm who announce themselves as being The Weekenders. Maggie learns from them that a pack of 15th century puritans were slaughtered there because of a turncoat, ala the Salem Witch Trails (in a much less publicized fashion). Shortly thereafter, the long-barren Porters end up caring for a dead-eyed, blonde girl named Jennifer. Maggie finally gets pregnant, and creepy lil' Jennifer does her best to stir the turd, and make Ben think that his wife got knocked up by one of the aforementioned Weekenders. After Maggie gives birth, she ends up being confronted by a posse of perturbed pilgrims, the same ones from her sundry premonitions. They try to crush her beneath a door laden with bricks, as payback for her selling them down the river in a previous life. Wisely, as the weight of the stones weighs upon her, Maggie offers up her dumb husband Ben as trade for her and her baby's safe release. Maggie does escape but, in an obvious back lot made to look like Central Park, she encounters a cop who can tie a bow just like her late husband. Apparently, the circle of déjà vu can not be broken.INDELIBLE SCENE(S):
