I wasn’t sure if I wanted to see PRIMATE because I have grown to have zero tolerance as far as witnessing animals in any kind of distress. Plus, I wasn’t sure the scares would work on me due to my instinctively rooting for the animal against any human in any situation no matter how vicious said animal is behaving. But then I learned the movie was directed and partially written by Johannes Roberts, the righteous dude responsible for my beloved neon soaked, Kim Wilde riddled, slasher-extravaganza STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT and realized I had to see it. I’m so glad I did. PRIMATE is a super suspenseful, edge of your seat, breathless thriller that utilizes one location (think LADY IN A CAGE ('64), meets BURNING BRIGHT (2010)) to its best advantage. It’s brutally savage at times and yet there’s heart as well and it’s impossible not to walk away feeling compassion for all involved, be they man or beast. Oh, and the lavish goth synth score by Adrian Johnston is phenomenal and reminiscent of the best John Carpenter; it blew me away on several occasions and I may have to own it.
A college student named Lucy (Johnny Sequoyah) flies home to Hawaii with her bestie Kate (Victoria Wyant) and her uninvited frenemy Hannah (a wonderfully snidely Jessica Alexander) and what a home it is. Let me tell ya, Lucy’s famous deaf author pop (Troy Kotsor) got some great digs; I haven’t seen a house so impressive since 2006’s WHEN A STRANGER CALLS! Opulence granted, before the film ends we will learn both the pros and the cons of cliffside infinity pools. Lucy also has a little sister named Erin (Gia Hunter) and an adorable adopted chimpanzee brother named Ben who is super smart and communicates with all via sign language and a sorta SPEAK & SPELL tablet device. Everything seems cool except unfortunately unknown to all, Ben (much like our ol’ pal CUJO) has been bitten by a trouble making mongoose with rabies (it’s noted Hawaii is supposed to be free of Rabies so who knows where he picked that up. It certainly wasn’t from my backyard opossum Petunia cuz opossums can’t get rabies and btw are North America’s only marsupial- but I digress). Needless to say, while dad is off at a book signing so he can pay for his slobber-worthy crib, Ben goes completely insane (notice how I didn’t use the term “bananas" or “ape”?) and decides to start cracking skulls like so many coconuts.
What a damn fun movie to see in the theater with a gasping, hiding under their coats, yelling at the screen audience! And I could relate to the dilemma because I have a cat who suffers from serious “recognition aggression” who out of nowhere will not recognize one of his dear pals and goes from super timid to Tasmanian devil within seconds (much like yours truly). I did appreciate that the point is made that what they are dealing with is “not Ben anymore” which allowed me to stop feeling sad for Ben and start feeling terrified not that I didn’t suss that when Ben started to use his SPEAK & SPELL to repeat “Die, Die, Die!”. PRIMATE is a great start for horror in 2026, it’s a real crowd pleasing roller-coaster ride of a popcorn flick that wastes zero time getting to the goods. I can’t wait to see it again, if not for the thrills and jaw (literally in one case) dropping horror but to scope out even more of the spectacular house. Ben really had it made. He had it so good he made the chimp in BJ AND THE BEAR seem downtrodden. Damn that darn mongoose (not really his fault, nature is cruel)!
