Show me a person who bagged out on their senior prom because of the early ‘80s slasher-flick PROM NIGHT, and I’ll show you a person who agreed to a secret pact to cover up a murder they committed with their childhood pals. Our film commences in an abandoned monastery, though it looks more like a hospital, where grade school chums Wendy, Nick, Kelly, and Jude are playing a fairly innocuous game of hide-and-go-seek dubbed “The Killer is Coming.” An uninvited Robin Hammond joins in on the action, and the foursome proceeds to back her out of a second story window. Rather than get help for the visibly breathing Robin, the four take an impromptu oath to conceal their involvement, and peddle home on their banana-seat bikes. A large, clucky window falls on Robin, so she doesn’t survive, and her murder is erroneously blamed on some serial pedophile that gets sent up the river for the crime. Flash forward to present, and Alexander Hamilton High School is in the grips of prom season. Kim Hammond (JAMIE LEE CURTIS), older sister of the deceased Robin, has been elected prom queen, and Nick, one of her sister’s killers, will be her prom king. To make matters more awkward, Nick just broke up with Wendy, another of one of the kiddie killers, and Wendy is not taking her dumping sitting down. Wendy enlists the help of high school truant Lou and his cronies to pull off some sort of CARRIE WHITE shenanigans when the king and queen are crowned. Thankfully, the pedophile who took the wrap for the murder, just so happened to coincidentally escape from a mental institution and was last seen driving towards Alexander Hamilton High in a powder-blue punch buggy. Oh, and all four of the childhood killers have been receiving breathy phone calls from a man asking them if they “still like to play games” and finding their yearbook book photos taped inside their lockers with shards of broken mirror. The big night finally arrives, and as JAMIE LEE struts her bestest disco moves in high school auditorium, the three girls involved in her sister’s death are methodically slashed and dispatched. The second half of the films begs the viewer to figure out who could be behind these killings. Is it the pedophile seeking vengeance? Is it Kim’s father and high school principal Raymond Hammond (a notably miscast LESLIE NEILSEN)? Is it Kim herself? (Editor’s note: JAMIE LEE does sort of look like a dude from certain angles). I’ll never tell, but to quote from the haunting disco anthem that permeates the school auditorium, “Prom Night… Everything’s All Right!” INDELIBLE SCENE(S):

• The opening sequence with the kids tormenting and killing Robin is a must-see. The repeated intonations of, “The Killer is Coming… The Killer is Coming,” is downright creepy
• Jude’s death in the back of her date’s super-awesome raper van
• The protracted chase scene of super-bitch Wendy by the mysterious killer
• The disco floor, complete with sunken lighting, in the Hamilton High auditorium
• JAMIE LEE’s show-stopping dance routine, with obligatory close-up as her partner Nick twirls her like a pizza
• The decapitated head tumbling down the prom catwalk
• The prom’s signature song: