2019’s READY OR NOT is a blend of kill or be killed motifs lifted from THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME dunked in seventies era occult paranoia and TOM & JERRY level violent slapstick. The jewel in its crowd-pleasing crown is a fierce performance by Samara Weaving portraying a betrayed woman on her wedding day forced to fight for her life against a horde of lunatic in-laws. Having ended on the most satisfying note possible (lone survivor Grace (Weaving) smoking the most deserved cigarette since Veronica (Winona Ryder) Sawyer’s at the climax of HEATHERS (’88)), it wasn’t exactly begging for a rinse and repeat sequel but fortunately, its continuation READY OR NOT 2: HERE I COME (which starts exactly where the previous flick left off) ups the ante on all counts, adds a few more vibrantly threatening and/or hilarious characters and may even be the finer outing at the end of the day. I’m not exactly loving the fact that now, seven years later, the idea of rich elites hunting humans to sacrifice to a demon in exchange for power has somehow become less fantastical and more likely than before, but here we are. For me, the most important factor in a survival/revenge movie is its comeuppance quota and there’s no question that RON2:HIC delivers on that front.
As prescribed by HALLOWEEN II (not to mention COLD PREY 2), it’s off to the hospital for unsinkable, blood-soaked heroine Grace where she meets up with estranged sister Faith (FREAKY’s Kathryn Newton) who she neglected to delete from her emergency contact information. Insults, accusations and recounting flashbacks collide as the two siblings catch each other up to speed. The family reunion is short lived when a would be assassin (rightful heir to Christopher Waken’s hand-me downs Kevin (CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD, ABIGAIL) Durand shows up to sever any loose ends hanging from Grace’s unprecedented survival of a worldwide Satanic Cult ritual. Please don’t make me explain the knotty intricacies, rules and technicalities involved in the curse-sport depicted, just know that it allows awesome people to participate like horror legend David Cronenberg as a psychotic patriarch who sired kids the likes of Sarah Michelle Gellar (BUFFY, SCREAM 2, IKWYDLS) and THE FACULTY’s Shawn Hatosy. Heck, this Horror hootananny even secured such guests as MANIAC (2012)’s Elijah Wood and BATES (still miss this show) MOTEL’s Nester Carbonell! Not sure if it’s ethical for the casting director to read my diary, but I’m not complaining. Seeing all these fine folks butting heads on the big screen is like watching CLUE (’85), a star studded disaster film (think POSEIDON ADVENTURE or THE TOWERING INFERNO), and an episode of FANTASY ISLAND (which if I’m not wrong, played the DANGEROUS GAME card on multiple occasions) all at once. Ya can’t beat that.
READY OR NOT 2 is as much riotous fun as the snappy jaunt it spawned from but I’d say much more adept at exploring the benefits and deep pitfalls of family ties. Gellar is a standout as an ice queen who’ll stomp on anyone to retain power and Hatosy is uncomfortably scary as her sadistic, sociopath brother. Weaving and Newton make a great pair especially when handcuffed together a’la THE DEFIANT ONES or cracking skulls to the tune of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” (which is becoming a go-to horror staple after previous needle drops in URBAN LEGEND (’98) & overachiever THE STRANGERS: PREY AT NIGHT (2028). Considering the wedding ballroom location and the sisterhood angle, I would have gone with Sister Sledge’s “We are Family” but nobody asked me).
Poor THEY WILL KILL YOU! It’s a fantastic movie but somebody really messed up allowing it to be released so soon after RON2! Even if one could get past the fact both flicks are about surviving the night against a Satanic cult while kicking around themes involving exploitive class divides, the emotional heart of each film revolves around estranged sisters, the younger of whom resents being abandoned. It’s like the same banger song sung two wildly different ways. Both are equally worthy, but it’s gotta be disheartening being the second horse out of the gate, especially when the enthusiasm for the first horse wasn’t exactly off the charts. TWKY needn’t sweat it though, time will be kind and it won’t be much of a shock if this artsy, action packed also ran becomes a cult favorite somewhere down the line. My psychic prediction is that Director Kirill Sokolov will make a highly regarded masterpiece in the future and then folks will scramble around looking to check out his gutsy earlier work.
This is a gorgeous movie with rich dark, earthy hues that resemble a Goya painting and the sound design and use of edgy innovative music is phenomenal. We’re talking SUSPIRIA (’77) level eye-candy partnered with KILL BILL-esque over the top fighting sequences. It’s got a dark, gloomy occultist vibe akin to Alex de la Iglesia’s THE DAY OF THE BEAST (’95) and is generous with the gore in a way that recalls Peter Jackson’s BRAIN DEAD (’92). The SUSPIRIA nods continue as NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIOR’s Patricia Arquette plays a queen bee marm who sorta channels Joan Bennett’s Madame Blanc and oversees an ancient Manhattan high rise secretly operating as a Satanic temple of sorts (shades of 2004’s TOOLBOX MURDERS). She’s even got a creepy kid sidekick (yet another note shared by RON2)! It’s all good stuff and I trust it will be properly appreciated one day. Twin movies are nothing new (looking at you VOLCANO & DANTE’S PEAK (both '97), not to mention DEEP IMPACT & ARMAGEDDON (both '98) et. al.) so rather than lament this duo’s accidental yet indisputable similarities (Oh, now I’m thinking of FRIDAY THE 13th (’80) & THE BURNING (’81) and my beloved hell party doppelgängers HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (’81) and MADHOUSE (’81) ), I’ll just rejoice that they’d make an excellent double feature (preferably at a drive-in).
