Spring Cleaning :: Trauma-Toys

Hey kids, it’s time to help your Aunt John clean up the cluttered playroom in Kindertrauma castle. Which toys should we keep, and which should we toss?

  1. Monster Old Maid
    You would think Mr. and Mrs. Dracula would have spared their daughter the indignity of being the Old Maid card by springing for some orthodontics. The poor thing looks like Agnes DiPesto with an overbite. It’s no wonder she doesn’t show up on the side of this sweet ride.


  3. Creeple Peeple
    Did anyone really buy into the pencil-disguise craze?


  5. Hugo, Man of a Thousand Faces
    Also, did anyone buy into the bald doll-disguise craze? Virtual version HERE, and more Hugo love HERE.


  7. Mystic Skull: The Game of Voodoo
    I do love me some mysterious moving skull action.


  9. The Weebles Haunted House
    This was the toy your Aunt John lusted for every X-Mas season as a child, and every December 25th my mother would sheepishly offer the excuse that it must have fallen off the back of Santa’s sleigh. Note to parents: Honesty is really the best policy with children. My mother’s subterfuge made her look like a delusional liar, and a cheap one at that.
  10. Scarecrow
    Obviously, this one belongs to your Unkle Lancifer


  12. Stretch Monster
    In many ways, this green guy was much less creepy than his bikini-clad nemesis Stretch Armstrong.


  14. Bermuda Triangle Game
  15. The tagline tells you everything you need to know about this one: “Sinister Mystery Cloud Swallows Ships.”


  16. The Mighty Men & Monster Maker
    My brothers and I played with this, while my sister had the Fashion Plates. Sadly, the parts were not interchangeable.


  18. The Queasy Bake Oven
    The cakes and cookies you can make with this model look more appetizing than most of the things I’ve churned out with my old school Easy Bake.
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14 years ago

OMG–let’s see, I totally had the Stretch Monster (ended up hemorrhaging goo from his overstretched abdomen, which was WICKED SWEET), the Weebles Haunted House (complete with glow-in-the-dark ghost! My kids have a “weebles castle” now, and I don’t care how they brand it, those little round-bottomed Little People are NOT WEEBLES), and the Mighty Men and Monster Maker (I still have one of the tiles, a monster head piece, right now in my garage–I spend my days pining for the rest of the set, which we doubtless sold in a garage sale for 50 cents).

What a great collection of toys here! Makes me want to go ebaying immediately. BTW, I’m sure you’re familiar with The Gallery of Monster Toys, right? Another great site that makes me wish I were a kid again.

Ah, who’m I kidding? I never grew up. 🙂

Ryan Ferneau
Ryan Ferneau
13 years ago

I only heard about Hugo in a song about Mr. Potato Head.  I didn’t realize Hugo was based on a toy as well.