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The Horror of Losing My Dear Wife by Randolph M.

December 6th, 2017 by unkle lancifer · 5 Comments

Dear KINDERTRAUMA brothers and sisters:

First of all, I would like to point out that my dear wife was an ardent Stephen King fan. She used to watch me browsing KINDERTRAUMA and giggle at the silliness of it all. To be able to take celluloid horror with a sense of humour like that is something she naturally had, and I didn’t. I took the movies/TV shows far too seriously as a child. She could chuckle at MAGIC, IT’S ALIVE, THE SHINING, SUSPIRIA, SCHIZOID or whatever Z-grade flick was showing at the local drive-in, etc. I couldn’t.

Nothing out of the wildest dreams of Dario Argento, Larry Cohen or her favourite Stephen King will ever match the horror I felt watching her die after battling breast cancer for seven years. If a director wants to make a truly horrifying movie, s/he will have cancer as the “monster in the dark,” ever lurking, always waiting. It is far more truly frightening than any bloody monster, mutant or alien.

I remember watching some of the old Hammer Horror flicks with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in her last weeks of life (including the unintentionally hilarious DRACULA: A.D. 1972), and considering how really silly they were compared to my lady warrior’s real-life struggle. She made Xena The Warrior Princess or Buffy The Vampire Slayer look like Mary bloody Poppins.

To all of the KINDERTRAUMEN: The next time your loved one wants to hold your hand or grab you whilst watching a horror flick…let them. You know what you are watching on TV, celluloid, DVD or your other favourite medium is fake and temporary. The REAL horror in life is losing someone you love, which I am facing right now. I would rather go face-to-face with “the Xenomorph,” the “Davis baby” or Damien Thorn.

I could binge-watch all of THE OMEN films and laugh at them compared to the real struggle of watching someone you love lose their final battle. The same goes for the silliness that was THE AMITYVILLE HORROR that was ultimately proven to be a hoax. Even the most effective horror directors can say “CUT!” and Robert Englund can go have coffee with his co-stars, or have fun playing Lou Cifer on MARRIED…WITH CHILDREN (which was a hilarious turn of form for Mr Englund!) taking the Bundys and their neighbours to Hell.

I cannot do that now. I remember watching the Director’s Cut of ALIEN when she and I were the only two people in the cinema and she would grab hold of me during the more suspenseful moments of Sir Ridley Scott‘s very effective “what-you-don’t-see-is-more-frightening-than-what-you-DO-see” direction.

We were going to rent THE CAR after I showed her the trailer on YouTube and have a good laugh at it.

All those reading: Enjoy the entertainment, frightful as it may be, with your loved ones, while you have a chance.

Tags: Traumafessions




5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Dec 6, 2017 at 11:05 am

    Randolph,

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m glad you and you wife found each other and I’m sorry for your loss. She sounds like an incredible person. This is the perfect time of year to be reminded to appreciate the people in our lives that are irreplaceable. Thank you for that. Best to you in 2018.

    P.S I love that episode of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN!

  • 2 Dylan Donnie-DukeNo Gravatar // Dec 6, 2017 at 3:08 pm

    Randolph,
    What a beautiful, and loving tribute. I can not begin to imagine your loss. I read this as I sit next to my wife in an infusion center. Today she begins her first round of treatment of her second battle with breast cancer. We will be watching terrible movies, and laughing our way through them as our own personal medication.
    I hope that you soon find peace in those memories and are able to once again laugh as though she were sitting right next to you, laughing along with you.
    Peace,
    DDD

  • 3 TreecatNo Gravatar // Dec 6, 2017 at 9:27 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. No fictional horror can ever compare to the very real horror of losing someone that you love. I hope that you can someday find comfort in the films that you loved and watched together.

  • 4 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Dec 7, 2017 at 11:33 am

    DDD,
    My best to you and your wife. Aunt John is a cancer survivor too and he sends his best as well. We’ll be sending all the positive vibes possible towards you guys. Keep watching those terrible movies! They truly are the best medicine.

  • 5 Dylan Donnie-DukeNo Gravatar // Dec 7, 2017 at 1:00 pm

    Thank you, Unk!!! Please tall Aunt J to keep kicking ass!!!

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