Greetings Kindertrauma friends! I’d like to share some trauma.
When I was child, nearly every piece of horror I came across freaked my shit, whether it was a photo in Cornelius Ryan’s “A Bridge Too Far” or a snippet of Night Gallery caught from behind the couch. And because my parents didn’t let me watch scurry movies — and it was the 1970s — I only caught random sounds and images. Inevitably, they were built up to be much more terrifying than they really are, or ever could be. And nothing — NOTHING — freaked my shit more than the TV ads for “Beyond the Door.” Seeing it now (thanks, YouTube!) it’s easy to see why. And just so you know, I was 8, so those “Exorcist” ads were terrifying, as well, and because it was a prestige picture — and a runaway hit — would show up during tame prime-time fare. But that campaign was subtle — a slamming door, the shaking bed, the candle-flame exploding. But they were teasers, and saved the best stuff for the actual experience of watching the movie. The “Beyond the Door” campaign actually crammed most of the best stuff into 30 seconds: the head 360, the makeup, the devil voice, levitation! Plus, it was Juliet Mills of Nanny and the Professor, with green teeth and yellow eyes. So help me God, she had yellow eyes! It got so bad that I would see her standing there in the baby blue nightgown and immediately plug my ears and cover my eyes and peak at the mayhem from between my fingers. I grew up in the Bay Area but have a friend from Baltimore who has similar Kindertrauma from this one.