Back in the ’70s, when I was around 6 or 7, my sister and I were obsessed with THE BIONIC WOMAN and, to a lesser extent, THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN.
We would lay on our stomachs on the floor in front of the huge wooden T.V. console and bask in the weekly hour-long glow of bionic metal bending and jumping and listening – all done in slo-mo. I loved Jamie so much and wanted to be like her so much that my next door neighbor and I would place a magazine with her picture on it between us on the concrete front steps of my childhood home, and scribble furiously on pads of paper in hopes of building up our bionic strength. I guess the whole bionic surgery thing sort of eluded me at that age.
There were a few BIONIC WOMAN episodes that scared me back then – the Fembots and the doomsday one – but the one that really took the cake was actually an episode of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN where Jamie starts to reject her bionics. It starts out with some spazzy hand action, but then escalates to a meltdown of gargantuan proportions where she runs around in the rain and freaks out in a phone booth.
This whole thing took place before my Jamie love developed, so I was basically just watching a pretty lady turn into a melty-faced freak show before my eyes. Sadly, I couldn’t find a clip of the meltdown – but here are some screen shots of one of my earliest childhood T.V. traumas.
AUNT JOHN SEZ: For more on those fantastic Fembots, be sure to check out Kinderpal Brother Bill‘s bionic post over at THE HAUNTED CLOSET.