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Kinder-News :: It’s a Hard-Knock Death

August 10th, 2008 by unkle lancifer · 17 Comments


If you’re like me than you’ve spent countless hours wondering why, oh why, the creators behind the fantastic FACES OF DEATH advertising campaign and the makers of the runaway box office hit ANNIE don’t set aside their multiple differences and manufacture a line of commemorative plates that will appease the rabid fan-base of both films at the same time. Such a day of peace and understanding where folks put aside personal egos in order to create a larger harmony is far off indeed. Hence, I fired up the kindertrauma kiln this past Sunday and produced a line of plates that I plan to utilize at our next extravagant dinner party. There are only eight, and two of course are reserved for myself and Aunt John, that means most of you will have to use the far-less special GREMLINS PAPER PLATES left over from last year. I’m sorry, but if you want to sit at the big kid’s table you most be prompt! (And no Mickster, unlike at our last fiesta “I came all the way from Alabama” will not be accepted as an excuse to arrive fourteen hours late with a biker gang in tow!)






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17 responses so far ↓

  • 1 micksterNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    Okay, I promise to be early with no “All the way from Alabama” excuses as long as I get the Daddy Warbucks plate.

  • 2 Pax RomanoNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    These are wonderful.

    Please accept my order for two dozen, they should make wonderful Xmas gifts.

  • 3 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    Mickster, All is forgiven and Warbucks is yours. Make sure you bring that FANTASY ISLAND DVD set, it’s going to be a long night!

    PAX,
    I’m firing up the kiln now in preparation for the inevitable holiday rush!

  • 4 micksterNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 7:20 pm

    Unkle L, I promise to bring Fantasy Island (Love Boat too if you want). I am also bring Professor Von Whiskersen with his Skinny Puppy collection if that is okay with you and Aunt John.

  • 5 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    Mickster,
    Of course!, It wouldn’t be the same without Professor Von Whiskersen, and would it even BE a kinder-castle party without Skinny Puppy???

  • 6 Professor Von WhiskersenNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Unkle Lancifer, Thanks for the invite!  Speaking of Skinny Puppy, I’m surprised that Annie’s own skinny puppy Sandy escaped the kiln unscathed.  After reading the “Controversy” section of Annie’s Wikipedia entry, I’d like to get my hands on some of the strip reprints!  Gee Whiskers!  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Orphan_Annie#Controversy

  • 7 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    Proff. V.W,

    You know, it never even occurred to me to give good ol’ Sandy the death makeover. I’m just a big softy for animals I guess. Thanks much for the link, I’m all fascinated by how dark the comics get. Did you see the links that the vicar of vhs left in the Garfield post where Garfield is insane and dreaming his whole life? Anyway, that “Haunted house” bit with Annie getting kidnapped sounds good. That shit used to happen on Diff’rent strokes nearly every week!

  • 8 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 10, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    Am I the only one who thinks that it is insane that “Different Strokes” is officially called “Diff’rent strokes” with an apostrophe? I never noticed that before but Aunt John is like “duh…”

  • 9 SeanOfTheDeadNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 5:54 am

    Being on the other side of the world prohibits me from attending. Such a shame… your lovely crockery would have come in handy for my new party trick…..

  • 10 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 9:29 am

    @SeanoftheDead: Just as long as you don’t do your ping-pong ball trick. I never did get those marks off the wall.

  • 11 kittyleclawNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 11:32 am

    Best artwork on Kindertrauma ever. EVER!!!

    I am soooo glad you guys are my Cousins!!!! Shotgun on a seat at the Kinder Table next family reunion!

  • 12 RATSAWGODNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 12:33 pm

    My lawyers have advised me not to be around dead people anymore.

  • 13 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    ***
    Cousin Kitty, 
    You are too kind! I am creating special kitty-bowl versions just for you!
    Ratsawgod, 
    What did your lawyers advise you about un-dead people? I hope you can make it but now that I think about it you have yet to be in the same room with Cousin Kitty…
    A Kitty and a Rat together, sounds like trouble… I hope this is not yet another Castle party that gets broke up by the fuzz!!!

  • 14 Professor Von WhiskersenNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Unkle L said:  “…I’m all fascinated by how dark the comics get. Did you see the links that the vicar of vhs left in the Garfield post where Garfield is insane and dreaming his whole life? ”

    I did!  I believe Garfield’s Halloween tv special to be the nec plus ultra of Halloween specials, barely beating out the Peanuts gang.  Also, I highly recommend “Garfield Minus Garfield” for lovers of Garfield, weirdness, comic strips, insanity, and photoshopping… http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/

  • 15 FoxNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    Oh my god… you are insane!  And I love it!  This may be the best spurt of retarded genius I’ve seen in 2008.

    I’m probably too pedestrian to be invited to your party – like a straight man at the table with the family from Basket Case 2 – but I can try and bring Annie strippers if you’d like.

  • 16 unkle lanciferNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 3:44 pm

    Proff V.W, here’s more…(make sure you check out Lasagna cat!)

    http://www.overthinkingit.com/2008/03/17/the-net-overthinks-garfield/#more-15

    Fox,
    You’re definitely on the guest list but we’d prefer FACES OF DEATH strippers!

  • 17 aunt johnNo Gravatar // Aug 11, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    @Fox: You can bet your bottom dollar that you can sit at the head of the table if you bring a Miss Hannigan stripper!

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