Help Riff Randell find the ten differences in these two images!!!
Author: unkle lancifer
Subway Horrors!
Did I mention we moved? Poor me, I'm no longer a hop, skip and a unicycle ride from the places I need to be. That is why I have been forced by fate to acquaint myself with a place that smells an awful lot like pee…the subway. I know most of my (dwindling) friends who live in the city think nothing about jumping down some stairs and zooming underground to their destination but I've always made a point of walking everywhere I could. I can count on one hand how many times I've needed to use the subway over the last 20 or so years. The thing is; I'm really cheap! And I could use that money for Necco Wafers! Plus c'mon people! Public transportation is ripe for disaster and you know it! I don't want anybody taking my Pelham 1, 2 or 3, thank you very much.
Actually the subway is not so bad. It's convenient, it's speedy and you can meet some really interesting people there (especially when you live close to a methadone clinic.) Take for example, the nice old man who chose to sit next to me the other day even though there were thousands of empty seats everywhere. Doing his best impersonation of Crazy Ralph from FRIDAY THE 13TH, he informed me that the previous day a woman came up to him, ripped off her face and revealed that she was a monster. "What is happening to us?" he asked me, switching his impersonation to a spot on KEVIN MCCARTHY in INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, "We are ALL turning into monsters!" I didn't exactly disagree with him and I admired his ability to cut to the chase but…Oh look, it's my stop! As I exited, the kindly stranger said that he "hoped nobody ripped my face off" which is a nice sentiment if you think about it, although you're unlikely to ever find it in a Hallmark card. Again, we were in agreement, I hoped nobody ripped my face off too! If I had to choose though, I'd prefer my mindset earlier in the day when it wasn't on my list of things to concern myself with. My theory is that old guy was just me from the future screwing with me from the past so I tried not to let future-me see me sweat.
So anyway all this subway travel has gotten me thinking about all the movies I know that have subways in them. Here are some scary movie subways! Please enjoy and as always, I hope nobody rips your face off!
QUARTERMASS AND THE PIT (1967) AKA FIVE MILLION YEARS TO EARTH
This movie freaks me out because I know in my heart of hearts that Martians really do look like grasshoppers! If you watch it back to back with LIFEFORCE (1985) you can witness the destruction of London twice!
RAW MEAT (1973) AKA DEATH LINE
Subway cannibals are the worst. I can't decide what recommends this seventies gem better, the fact that Legends DONALD PLEASENCE and CHRISTOPHER LEE are in it or the fact that the movie shares the same father (GARY SHERMAN) as two of my favorite babies, DEAD & BURIED and the goofy/spectacular POLTERGEIST III!
MIMIC (1997)
Any bug that doesn't fit under your shoe is a bad bug in my book! Alternate title: Romy and Roachy's Subway Reunion! Note: Director GUILLERMO DEL TORO would later go on to use a subway platform as a place of peril for a box of kittens in HELLBOY (2004).
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
The tube chase scene in AAWIN might have been the scariest bit in the movie if the movie did not also feature Nazi werewolves machine gunning children while they watch THE MUPPET SHOW.
JACOB'S LADDER/GHOST (1990)
Writer BRUCE JOEL RUBIN clearly understands the scare-potential of subways. Both of these 1990 flicks he penned feature a pivotal and/or creepy scene in one!
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN (1989)
Aw, remember when Jason decided to take Manhattan? And by "take" I mean stroll through it for ten minutes, drink some toxic sewage and turn into child. Worst itinerary ever, at least stop for a knish!
MANIAC (1980)
JOE SPINELL is here to tell you that there is something scarier than a subway station at night and that is a public restroom in a subway station at night.
POSSESSION (1981)
I put this on here because I clearly remember ISABELLE ADJANI gorgeously loosing her mind (among other things) in a subway station. I didn't realize somebody also stole her banana.
NEON MANIACS (1986)
Last thing I'd want to bump into on a subway is a neon maniac! Unless of course I had some water with me in which case I'd just throw water on them and they'd die. What more can I say about this incredible movie that I did not say HERE?
THE WIZ (1978)
So clearly there is no way to visit Oz without something totally traumatic happening. Oh God those horrible marionettes! More on this trauma-scene HERE.
THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN (2008)
This one didn't work for me as well as it should have and I think it's because I somehow find BRADLEY COOPER more unnerving than VINNIE JONES.
FINAL DESTINATION 3 (2006)
Congratulations FINAL DESTINATION series! You systematically ruined every possible means of transportation besides jetpack for me.
CREEP (2004)
This feature debut from CHRISTOPHER SMITH (SEVERANCE, TRIANGLE, BLACK DEATH) is as underrated as he is versatile. My only complaint is that the same titled RADIOHEAD song doesn't play over the closing credits. Run FRANKA run!
THE WARRIORS (1979)
Growing up a sheltered suburbanite, I was quit convinced that THE WARRIORS was an absolutely accurate depiction of life in the big city. What a disappointment! (Not that I would have joined "the warriors" anyway, I would have to go with the "punks" on account of the overalls.)
DRESSED TO KILL (1980)
I swear this list is not in any order but that doesn't mean I didn't save the best for last. It doesn't matter how many times I see this movie, it seems to get more suspenseful with every view. In addition, this allows me to close on a positive note because if the subway is a place where you might bump into NANCY ALLEN than it must not be so bad after all.
UPDATE: Oh great! Where I used to find a soothing poster of IDRIS ELBA drinking gin (above), I know find this…
Name That Trauma:: Cat_Pi on a Living Toy & a Creepy Grandmother
I just came across your fantastic site and think that you could help me! There are 2 movies I've been trying to figure out forever.
The first one is from the 70's or early 80's and I remember seeing a toy attack a woman. It might have been wooden and might have had a yellow pointed hat. I remember someone (the woman or maybe a man) chopping it up with an ax and then it came back together again. It might have been put into a bag at some point. I've researched tons of movies and haven't found it. It is not Trilogy of Terror, it may have been Asylum but still didn't seem right. This movie started my aversion to living toys. Any help would be great!
I also remember a movie or horror anthlogy show where a boy was crouched in the corner of a house while his creepy grandmother or someone called to him from the bedroom. I watched the trailer for Grandmother's House and I don't think this is it.
Thank you!
UNK SEZ: Ack! Not knowing the answer to a killer toy NTT drives me crazy! The only movie I can think of is PINOCCHIO's REVENGE! Pinocchio is wooden and he has a pointy hat- although it's blue rather than yellow. The bigger problem is that it's from 1996 which doesn't fit your timeline at all! Oh well, I need some kind of of image on this post, so up there he goes! Does anyone have a better guess out there? And what about that creepy grandma? Help us out! In the meantime, let's watch the trailer for PINOCCHIO'S REVENGE simply because it's awesome…
Name That Trauma:: Christine C. on a Spider Spewing Skull
Hello Kindertrauma,
I recently re-discovered your website the other day while messing around on Google, and while I am not a horror fan I must say that the stories and blogs you all post are quite fascinating. In fact it got me thinking of a childhood trauma that I still, to this day, can't seem to find or remember. Perhaps you could post this as a Name that Trauma feature.
I was watching tv with my family (it must have been in the early to mid-1980's) and the program broke away for some commercials. One commercial started out as a blank black screen, and, slowly, a skull emerged from the darkness. Once the skull was visible, a spider crawled out of its mouth. Then, a pair of eyes opened in the skull's sockets-EEEEEKKKKK!!!!! This last part reduced me to a sobbing, shaking ball in my mom's lap, and I don't rememer anything after that (except that I was forever terrified of disembodied eyes). Was it a movie? TV show? Promotion for some Halloween event? If any of your staff/forum members have any idea please post it. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Christine C. in Albuquerque, NM
P.S. Some other traumatizing (but not nearly as destructive) moments from my youth include Lou Ferrigno as The Incredible Hulk, the Tyranosaurus Rex puppet from The Land of The Lost, and the evil laugh at the end of Michael Jackson's hit song "Thriller".
UNK SEZ: I think I've got this one Christine! It sounds like what you caught was a TV spot for HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH! The ad begins with a black screen (and some horrifying kiddie laughter) and then a witch's face appears (which could easily be mistaken for a skull). The face looms closer to reveal a spider crawling out of its mouth and we then close on two very disturbing eyes! I remember catching this on TV myself and I agree it's a doozy! It's one of those superior ads that lets your imagination run wild by not showing any scenes from the movie at all!
Post Childhood Traumafession:: Mickster on The Strangers (2008)
I was still married when I first saw The Strangers (2008). The movie really scared me, and I was not anxious to watch it again. The thought of random killers invading the sanctity of my home with the intent to murder me was truly unsettling. My niece had her own traumatizing experience watching the movie, so sometimes we taunt each other about watching the movie again. We generally have the same response of, "Not just no, but Hell no!" each time. Fast forward to the fall of 2011, I was in the midst of turmoil as I was going through a divorce. Due to the uncertainty of my situation, I was already on edge and as a result, I stopped watching horror films. One particular Friday night, I said, "The Hell with this," and decided I was going to watch a movie from my favorite genre. As my status on Facebook, I said I was going to watch a horror movie and did anyone have any suggestions as to which one I should watch. My niece, of course, taunted me with The Strangers.
So, I decided that perhaps I would watch it again. I set about doing my evening chores; so I could sit down to view the movie. I was almost done when my doorbell rang. It did not just ring once; it was a double ring. I was startled because I was not expecting any visitors. I quietly peaked out my front window to see if there was a car in the driveway. There was nothing in the driveway, and it was completely dark outside. I, of course, did not open the front door, and I immediately set my alarm system to instant. The doorbell did not ring again, but the damage was done. I was completely unsettled and spooked. I did not watch The Strangers that night; in fact, I did not watch any horror movies that night. I have since told my niece that if she wants to me to watch the movie again she will have to come to my house to watch it with me and spend the night otherwise my response will be a definite, "No way in Hell!"
UNK SEZ: Thanks Mickster! What a great idea to write about a movie that traumatized you as an adult! I have a few of those myself! If anybody else out there was freaked out by a film that they saw when they were fully grown we'd love to hear about it! Who says you have to be a kid to be traumatized?
Sunday Streaming Double Feature:: Deadly Lessons & The Demon Murder Case
I wish a space alien would ask me what I think is mankind's greatest achievement because my answer would the 1983 made for T.V. slasher mystery DEADLY LESSONS! I remember how excited I was the night this aired and why shouldn't I have been? It's like THE FACTS OF LIFE GO TO HELL and it stars my favorite person who ever lived, DIANE FRANKLIN of AMITYVILLE 2: THE POSSESSION and SUMMER GIRL fame! Actually, as far as the cast goes what we have here is an embarrassment of riches: ALLY SHEEDY, NANCY CARTWRIGHT, BILL PAXTON, DONNA REED, LARRY WILCOX & DENNA "cousin April" FREEMAN all collect paychecks! Read a fuller fawn-y review HERE!
Next up is THE DEMON MURDER CASE, another T.V. movie that left a strong impression on me. Its description of the devil scared the living crap out of me when I first saw it and little did I know that within the year I'd be moving into the town where the story it's based on took place (although TDMC is set in Rhode Island rather than Brookfield, Connecticut). This is yet another case that Ed and Lorraine Warren were heavily involved in and it stars Philadelphia native and FRIDAY THE !3TH star KEVIN BACON! Read more about this traumatizing title HERE!
Why am I lumping these two movies together besides the fact that I think they both rule? As it turns out, THE DEMON MURDER CASE aired on March 6th 1983 and DEADLY BLESSINGS aired the very next day March 7th! What possessed me not to remember that? Maybe it's because there was so much awesome going on in 1983 that back to back viewing satisfaction wasn't a unique enough occurance to stand out. For more 1983 goodness, check out our 1983 Funhouse flashback puzzle HERE!
Traumafession:: Senski on Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey"
Although it's routinely pilloried as one of the worst singles of all time, Bobby Goldsboro's #1 song from 1968 – "Honey" – has always given me the creeps since childhood. The five weeks it spent in the top chart position were nestled between the dual assassinations of Martin Luther King, Jr. and Bobby Kennedy, a vulnerable time indeed for America, and one during which you can certainly imagine the nation turning to a song about (possibly) suicide and (definitely) grief. But it was an infamous performance on a comedy show that made it temporary nightmare fodder for me.
At face value, the song's lyrics about a husband mourning the passing of his wife do not portray him in a very sympathetic light; he laughs at her foolishness, accidents and stupidity when he probably should have been paying closer attention to a deeper problem. Some have conjectured the song's subject was suffering a terminal disease (this was two years before Eric Segal's "Love Story" would become a best-seller) but in later years I'd come to picture Honey taking her own life. I prefer to interpret it thus for two reasons: 1) The narrator implies he wants to join her in death but is too cowardly to do so (I'd love to be with you / if only I could), and 2) the song returns to the beginning at the close, as the husband is trapped in an endless cycle of grief. Yes, it's schlocky in retrospect, but at the time it was chilling. I see Honey as a fragile, willowy flower child, a free spirit easily crushed; think Mia Farrow.
Cut to a random Sunday night in the Senski household, where "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour" was a weekend staple. The edgy variety show must have decided that the song was ripe for taking down a few pegs, and decided to invite Goldsboro to sing it on air. But there was a catch; the producers decided to stage a series of tableaux, each depicting a scene from the lyrics (a smashed car, a planted twig, etc) with Goldsboro wandering around the set. The most vivid memory for me was a box of tissues – one partially removed from the slot – and used ones littering the floor, as though a ghost had been seated at the kitchen table, weeping. Now, keep in mind that I was not quite five and hadn't truly grasped the concept of suicide. My mind considered three possibilities, all very unsettling:
1) The man had left his house exactly as it was the day she died or disappeared, however long ago this may have been;
2) Honey had been mysteriously taken away by the song's "angels" for reasons I did not know, or;
3) Honey was still there as a ghost haunting the house.
Goldsboro has said in later interviews that the show received a tremendous amount of mail, most of it negative, for trying to put a humorous spin on a song about tragedy. I didn't think it funny at all, and though I have not viewed this in almost 45 years, I can still picture those Kleenexes as though grasped by a phantom hand. I'd love for someone to unearth a video of this musical staging, or learn if anyone else saw this and experienced a severe case of gooseflesh.
Annabelle Funhouse!
I hope you have a magnifying glass! Today's puzzle was made by Annabelle the evil doll and therefore is tiny and doll size! Can you find 10 differences in these two images before Annabelle gets out of her box?
Traumafession:: Kevin Sommerfield of Don't Go To The Reunion on John Larroquette & The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Having started horror at the young age of 5, not much scared me as a kid but what scared me, REALLY scared me. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to start my horror movie experience off with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre before I even started kindergarten. Something scared me more than the chainsaws, blood, flesh, and Leatherface…that something was John Larroquette. His narration at the beginning of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, so cold and ominous, would give me nightmares for weeks. Seeing Night Court reruns on television added fuel to the fire. Hearing Larroquette's voice brings chills up my spine. I still can't watch the film without fast forwarding through the opening…
UNK SEZ: Great traumafession Kevin! I'm with you on that narration. Not that there's any part of TCM that I am not terrified by. I was a teen when I first saw it and it really shook me up. I don't now how you survived seeing it younger than that! I'm really looking forward to DON'T GO TO THE REUNION! It looks right up my alley! Folks, if you want to learn more about Kevin's movie check out the official site HERE! Plus you can keep up to date by liking SLASHER STUDIOS' Facebook page HERE! And do check out the trailer below….
Name That Trauma:: Reader Andrew D. on a Non-Gigantic Daimajin
Hello again! I have been trying to think of the name of this film for quite some time (years), but I just never can. It was a late 80's or early 90's horror film involving a group of teenagers getting lost in an evil dojo or something similar. Maybe there was a part involving an asian restaurant. My longing to find out which movie this is was sparked today by seeing something referring to DAIMAJIN. Even though those movies were from the 60's, there is a particular scene in the film I am trying to remember that involves a statue that is slightly larger than a normal person that resembles a Daimajin (except it is not gigantic) coming to life and grabbing a member of the group as they are walking around the creepy dojo (or whatever it is) and pulling them off into the shadows. That is all I really remember, but the movie totally scared me when I was younger! I was wondering if you or anyone else can help me find this film or experienced the film when they were younger. Thanks so much!
