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Happy Arbogast Day!

May 11th, 2009 by unkle lancifer · 9 Comments

Was it really a whole year ago that we here at Kindertrauma declared that the day after Mother’s Day will forever hence forth be known as Arbogast Day? Check your calendars kids because yesterday was indeed Mother’s Day and that means you know what today is… Arbogast Day!

Arbogast Day celebrates all that is fellow blogger Arborgast of the stellar blog ARBOGAST ON FILM. We are not the type to let a restraining order or two cramp our style either. How does one celebrate such a day you may be asking yourself? One way is to spend a moment or two reflecting upon what Arbogast may be doing at this very minute. Is he writing? Is he painting a portrait? Could he be taking a bubble bath or is he more of the shower type?

Another way to celebrate Arborgast Day is to take a cue from the type of post that made him our hero. Arbogast coined the phrase “The one you might have saved,” when he waxed philosophic about the horror film victims that maybe should have lived. Of course horror films need their dead folks, but we all have a favorite character or two that we find it painful to say goodbye to. With that in mind both Auntie John and myself have selected our own personal choices of film characters that we wish could have lived. (It is our plan to do this every year on Arbogast Day until such time as we forget to or the world ends.) Check our choices out, tell us what yours are and make sure you stop by and visit good ol’ Arbogast HERE!

Aunt John’s choice:: THE BAD SEED’s RHODA PENMARK

They always say it’s a real tragedy when a young life is cut short. Your Aunt John says it’s an even greater tragedy when the work of a murderous child is cut short. Had Rhoda Penmark not gone out in a well-lighted blaze of glory at the end of THE BAD SEED, she was to have gone sun bathing on the roof with her frumpy neighbor and pretend Aunt, Monica Breedlove. Based on the final bedtime interaction between Rhoda and her father, the pig-tailed psychopath was set to inherit a lovebird named Sweetsie in the event her Aunt Monica ever died or went away. Rhoda Penmark was a take charge little girl who made things happen, and had she survived that lightening attack on the dock, she would have made that date with Aunt Monica. She would have also facilitated some tragic slip and fall for the bombastic Breedlove and snared herself a lovebird in the process.

It should be noted that Rhoda escapes unscathed in both the novel and play formats of THE BAD SEED; it is her wishy-washy mother that does not survive her suicide attempt. Alas, it appears my poor Rhoda was a victim of the oppressive Motion Picture Production Code (a.k.a. the Hays Code), which forced filmmakers to adhere to the adage “Crime does not pay.” I can only reckon that this Victorian approach to film making also dictated the goofy curtain-call tack on in the closing credits in which PATTY McCORMACK politely curtsies for the camera. If you’re gonna kill the kid, don’t rub salt in my wounds and trot her out like a show pony three minutes later. In killing Rhoda, they also killed off a potentially lucrative franchise. It’s a damn shame that we have to live a world where the kid from PROBLEM CHILD can land a two-picture deal, and all McCormack received was a playful spanking from NANCY KELLY. Where is the justice in that?

Unkle Lancifer’s choice: BAD DREAM’S LANA

After much thought my “The one you might have saved” ends up being the character of Lana from 1988’s BAD DREAMS. I tried real hard to think of a super plucky or noble character from a classic film, but any answer other than E.G. DAILY ‘s Lana would be a complete lie. Why should I pretend to love Crêpe Suzette when I am always so darn hungry for meatballs? Lana’s death is a real shame for many reasons. First off, who wants to see anything bad happen to adorable E.G.? I also gotta admit I love Lana for being such a shivering Chihuahua basket case. I know you are only supposed to like strong willed characters who know exactly what they are doing at all times and always say the right thing, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that I just don’t. Human strength is boring as hell; give me a train wreck any day of the week. Mental patient Lana hides behind her hair and drips pathetic, over sensitivity all over the place like a pelted martyr. That is why I LOVE HER.

Watch what happens when lil’ Lana tries to reach out to self obsessed final squirrel JENNIFER RUBIN

She’s Carrie White without the chance of telekinetic redemption, a doormat with a punching bag for a heart. She’s also the first victim to kick the bucket. She shows up, whines a bit, has a momentary flash of hope for the future, has said hopes trampled on and then gets drowned by RICHARD LYNCH. Misery, false hope and then death, now there’s a character arc I can believe in.

I would have loved to see Lana stick around longer, not to watch her lace up army boots and kick ass but to maybe just be a rock of Gibraltar sidekick with a few hidden talents up her sleeve. I mean, c’mon BAD DREAMS you could have at least had E.G. perform a theme song over the closing credits! Oh Lana, we hardly knew ye and perhaps due to your galactic vulnerability, you actually are BETTER OFF DEAD, but let me tell you, the movie BAD DREAMS would have been better off with a double dose of E.G. and a lil’ bit more of that sacrificial Lana.

A video that sports not only E.G DAILY but fellow “One I might have saved.” AMITYVILLE 2: THE POSSESSION‘s DIANE FRANKLIN? How appropriate is that for Arbogast Day?

BY THE BY: Every Arbogast has his day, but the night belongs to Amanda! Check out Kinder-chum Amanda by Night‘s up to the minute report on made for television remakes HERE!

Tags: Arbogast Day · Holidays

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Pax Romano
11 years ago

I am really angry that when I went to the Hallmark Store this morning, they were all out of Arbogast Day cards!!!

What’s up with that?

Amanda By Night
11 years ago

Ha ha ha Pax! I couldn’t find any cards either! 🙂

What a great idea, the one you might have saved. I’d have to think a little about it. Right off the bat Carrie came to mind, because that girl deserved a break. And perhaps Joan Hackett in Five Desperate Women, which is one of my favorite made for TV movies. Her character is so damaged and sad that when she meets her ugly end, you can’t help but feel horrible about it.

Amanda By Night
11 years ago

Whoops! And thanks for the linkage and thanks SO MUCH for participating! 🙂

11 years ago

I  dont know how you do it….you manage to mention my girl crushes EG Daley and Diane Franklin in the same breath. The only thing missing is Jill Schoelen!

My GEE-I-REALLY-WISH-THEY-WOULDA-LET HER-LIVE vote is divided between Heather Langenkamp as Nancy in NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3 and Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie in whichever HALLOWEEN sequel had her die. I’m leaning towards Heather though cuz I think I actually shed a tear when I saw it in the theater!

11 years ago

I nominate J.C. (Steve Marshall) in NIGHT OF THE CREEPS.

Amanda By Night
11 years ago

Nice call on Steve Marshall. I loved that actor (even wrote a blog about him on my MySpace page). He was great and his character in Night of the Creeps was great too. I was bummed when he got it. He could WALK!

aunt john
11 years ago

@Pax & Amanda: That’s weird, our local Wal-Mart had a huge Arbogast Day display with mylar balloons, specialty canned goods, and cured meats.

11 years ago

This one was mentioned here a few months ago.  The death of Maddie on “Twin Peaks”.  I was REALLY hoping she would escape from her possessed uncle!……………..OK, fine!  I also thought Sheryl Lee was hot…………black haired or blond!  There, I said it.